Thank you all so much for the input! There isn't really much plot going on in this chapter and the last.. I'm so awful with plot and this series wasn't written with plot in mind *shot*

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle and its characters do not belong to me!

when flight falls short

(Part 6)

What began as a misestimate of his true fatigue led to Fai losing grip of his controlled doze. For the past week, he had barely slept, electing to rest in half-asleep trances that would keep him aloof of any dreams, if only so he could avoid the nightmares. He'd had them before, in Valeria on piles of corpses, in Celes on his too-wide bed, and in that one world where they'd walked nonstop for days and days in the windblown snow, and he'd given the princess his fur-trimmed cloak to keep her warm.

The nightmares, as always, began with Fai, the real Fai, shriveled and cradled in his arms with blood smeared all over Yuui's skin.

.

It is dim in here, the unending walls piled high with skewed corpses, dead people around them and under his feet, but all Yuui has eyes for is the limp form cradled in his arms, blood dripping slow down his forearms, sticking his prisoner's robe to his skin. "Fai," he calls hopelessly, shaking his twin in an attempt to wake him, because this can't be real, this has to be a nightmare— "Please, Fai, please talk to me!"

Fai opens his dead blue eyes then, looks straight at him as he rasps in his dead hoarse voice, "You killed me, Yuui. You're my brother and you sent me to my death." And the world around them is silent but for the howl of an icy gale through the window at the very top of the tower. The window is out of sight, and light barely trickles down between the stone walls, but Yuui has developed a keen sense of vision in the perpetual twilight of his dungeon, and he can see every single detail on Fai's broken body.

The prisoner's robe is worn thin and grey with grime; the hems are torn and he can feel Fai's bony broken ribs through the threadbare shift. Fai's hands are calloused but not bloody, because he's never had to scrabble up walls. His arms and legs are skinny and his body feels so weightless. Like all the magic in him has vanished. (And it has, because Fai is dead dead dead.)

Fai smells like blood and dirt and clean snow, not like Yuui, who has spent spent months and years and decades sleeping and walking on dead people with their strange dead smells. Fai's hair is just like his, long and pale and matted, and Fai's face is sunken and shriveled—what Yuui probably looks like.

Except Fai's irises are grey and bleeding and bloodshot and he's reaching for Yuui, claw-like fingers that reach for his face and neck, and Yuui is struck immobile by grief and sorrow and guilt. He wants to die, he wants Fai to kill him and take his life back, but there is that old king again, the insane king who is rearing up before them with a dagger in his hand—

He plunges the glinting blade into his own neck and blood sprays out when he pulls the dagger free, teeth slicked red and thick liquid bubbling stickily out of the gash, walking ever closer to Fai and Yuui.

Yuui screams and screams and wishes for it all to end, but it doesn't, the king is stepping ever closer with his dripping blade as he prepares to carve himself up—

.

"Fai-san! Fai-san!"

Fai jerked awake to frantic hands shaking roughly at his arm. His heart smashed into his ribs like a rabid beast clawing to get out. For a horrific moment, he found that he couldn't breathe right, that his vision was misty and his nose was clogged somehow, and he was trembling with the anticipation of more blood, and more dead people—

Except there were none. It was dark and shadowy, but the lines around him were clean. Pricks of light glowed from nearby high-rise buildings, and the dashboard in front of him was soaked in pale green moonlight, like the rest of the empty rooftop, with the black car nearby and the empty stairwell on the far side.

He unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth and gasped for breath, took in the haunted green eyes peering down at him in concern.

The princess. Sakura-chan. Right.

"I'm— I'm fine," he croaked, chest heaving as he reached up to swipe at the ticklishness on his cheeks. The back of his hand came away wet.

"Are you sure?" she asked, still crouched over him in her seat, hair mussed but eyes alert. "You sounded like you were in pain— I'm so glad you're awake, Fai-san, I didn't know if you were going to wake up."

At the note of uncertainty in her voice, he tried pulling a reassuring smile onto his face. "I'm fine now, Sakura-chan," he told her weakly, breathing through his mouth. "Thank you."

"I'm glad," she sighed, and the next thing he knew, she had thrown herself onto his chest, small hands clasping his shoulders to pull him close while she tipped her face up and kissed his cheek gently. "My— My brother gave me a hug when I had nightmares," she whispered quietly in his ear, "It helps me feel safe... and I thought you might need that right now."

Unbidden, his memories stirred; he recalled first Ashura (who sat next to him on the too-wide bed in his too-large room and held him close with that kindly smile), and then, faintly, his mother, with her soft flaxen hair and dark, warm eyes, who had cradled his head to her bosom and pulled both him and his brother into her embrace. (That had been before she was driven insane, a great while ago.) He remembered being loved, just for a little bit in his (too-long) life.

A hollow ache peeled open in his chest, like a yawning gap, and he gave a choked sob. Sakura didn't seem the least bit surprised; rather, she crawled clumsily over to sit in his lap and draw him upright, pressing his face into her thin, narrow shoulder. "Shh," she soothed, stroking his hair. "It'll be all right."

How she, the girl who had lost all her memories and was but a mere clone, could tell him things would turn out all right was beyond him—but he was just a pawn and nearly worthless, and he would take his comfort where he could find it, be it in Kurogane or Sakura, enemy or half-real they might be. Nothing was all right.

Fai lifted leaden arms to gingerly hold the girl to himself. The dream had felt too real—Fai had felt too real in his arms, bleeding and still warm—and the memories of the dead king, the alive one, and his mother had all served to grind every bit of his heart to shreds. I don't deserve to live, he wanted to tell Sakura, but she was warm and kind, and she didn't need to hear things like that, not while she still had freedom over her thoughts and movements. She didn't need to suffer what he did.

So he settled for burying those thoughts away, old ghosts and new fears alike, blinking back his tears until his pulse had calmed, and he could breathe somewhat. The princess stayed silent the entire time, stroking delicate fingers through his hair.

Having Sakura in his arms grounded him. She was something he could focus on, someone alive and pure and lovable. He remembered her smiles, even if he couldn't clutch her close like he wanted, couldn't risk breaking her when she was such a fragile, lithe thing. His arms ached with the strain. (He thought of red eyes, warm lips, knew the comfort he could provide. Fai swallowed dryly.)

At length, he unwrapped himself from Sakura, and gave her a watery smile. "Thank you, Sakura-chan," he whispered, voice rough around the edges. "You needn't have done that."

She sat back in his lap to study him, warmth radiating from her features. "You needed it, Fai-san. That's all that matters."

He swallowed past the lump in his throat when she crawled back into her reclined seat and lay down, reached over to brush the strands of hair away from her face. "You're a good person," he murmured, chest tight and heavy with the desire to give the girl everything he had if it would make her happy. "I don't tell you that often enough."

"You don't have to," she replied in kind, her alertness already dulling with sleep. "You're a good person yourself, Fai-san."

He was glad that her eyes were drifting shut when he grimaced. It felt like he was betraying her with his lies—but what was there to betray when he had joined their travelling group, first and foremost, as his master had ordered?

Afraid of falling into deep slumber again, Fai slipped out of the car when he was certain that the princess was sound asleep.

The night air was cool, as it always was, and the wind didn't gust across the rooftop on a shorter building like this one, not when there were taller tower blocks around. Instead, the breeze sifted gently through his hair, reminiscent of Sakura's fingers. He leaned heavily on his walking stick and wandered to the hip-high concrete wall edging the rooftop, looked past the insignificant barrier warding from a steep fall. From his vantage point, he could see the sodium-orange specks of streetlamps on the roads far below, the matchbox cars and ant-sized people still about at this time of night.

If he were to topple over the edge...

No, this life was his brother's, and he had sworn to return it.

A quiet click sounded from the direction of the cars. Fai blinked, turned his head just so he caught the driver's side door of the black car swinging open.

He gulped, returned to staring at the roads far below. Had Kurogane heard all of his exchange with Sakura? The ninja knew too much as it was, and... He felt the quiet sweep of the other man's presence drawing closer, footsteps nearly inaudible on the hard concrete rooftop. Was Kurogane tasked with killing him, as well? Fai felt a wry smile twitch at his lips; the warrior would sooner cut him down than have to suffer through keeping a secret like that. Besides, he was a pawn of Yuuko's, and Yuuko had been nothing but nice to them. Or would she turn Kurogane against him at some point? If the man could even be convinced to do her bidding.

"What's so funny?" Kurogane stepped up beside him along the low wall, setting a bottle of wine and two sake cups down on the narrow concrete surface between them.

"You could have scared me, Kuro-tan—" Fai sang lightly, and paused the instant he found the other's offering of liquor. He brightened; the grin on his mouth was definitely not quite as fake now. "Wine? I thought you didn't have any left!"

There was a pause before the ninja replied, "I was saving it for a time of need."

"And this is a time of need?" Fai asked, feeling as if he should really shut up, because he couldn't quite read what Kurogane was trying to say. For all that the other man was like an open book, he did strange things; or at least, he possessed reactions and motivations that Fai didn't see himself capable of evoking. "Why, is Kuro-sama the romantic type? Is this a manly occasion to admire the moon and drink wine?"

"You're an idiot," Kurogane muttered without looking at him. He reached over, cracked the seal on the bottle and poured them each a shot. "Whatever it was, you even woke the kid up earlier."

Fai froze with the sake cup halfway to his lips. Even Syaoran? He hadn't meant to let his guard that far down, damn it! His fingers tightened around the cup; he threw the wine back without tasting it, focusing instead on the way it burned down his throat. "I, well..."

(He really was such a worthless person.)

"It was because of today, wasn't it. Whatever that guy said to you." Kurogane poured himself more wine, sipped slowly at his share.

Fai hid his grimace, set his cup down and leaned over the edge of the wall, looking away so the other man couldn't see what he was thinking. "Either way, we shouldn't stay too long in this place."

"You received a threat?"

When he turned back, Kurogane was studying him, calculating and intent. Fai swallowed, avoided meeting his eyes. "Who knows?"

"If you didn't, you wouldn't have screamed and woken the kids up," Kurogane said shortly. "You were talking to yourself in your sleep."

His blood chilled; how much had they all heard? "Oh, really?" he deflected, tone light, trying hard to hide any knowledge, any involvement. Not for the first time, Fai wished he were someone other than himself. (But he was already Fai, not Yuui—there wasn't anyone else he could be.) "You know how dreams are," he continued dismissively, trying to forget the blood and accusations that Kurogane's words were dredging up. "Dreams are not all that important. Everyone gets nightmares sometimes—even you, I bet."

The larger man did not reply immediately. They downed another few shots between themselves; Kurogane turned to sit on the rough concrete floor, leaning his back against the low wall. Reluctantly, Fai followed suit, though he kept a telling distance between them. They were probably being watched.

"Dreams can be important," the ninja said at length, looking up at the half-moon hanging in the sky. "I know of a dream-walker."

"How are they important?" This information wasn't quite personal; Fai thought he could allow himself to indulge. He couldn't see how his own dreams would be significant, besides, if all they did was remind himself, time and again, of the past. He did well enough remembering his debts on a daily basis. (And he hoped Syaoran was heeding his advice to not dwell on painful memories.)

"For one, they tell about the future." Kurogane was still staring at the moon; Fai followed his gaze, thought about the triple moons of Celes. (They had all been different colors and sizes, and the Celesians didn't speak of twins and ill fortune.) Ashura-ou had briefly mentioned traveling between dreams; he'd seen the horrors in Fai's. "A person shouldn't take dreams lightly."

"Well, I'm no dream-walker," he informed the other man airily. (The real Fai was in a better place; they would never return to Valeria. Valeria had twin moons, but they only presented together in the sky every few decades. When they did, they were both blue.) "So you needn't worry about some tragedy befalling us because of my dreams, Kuro-rin."

"I didn't say they would," Kurogane snapped, albeit without heat. "All I'm saying is, you shouldn't be so quick to brush them off."

"Hyuu, Kuro-pon is the expert on dreams." Fai rested his weight against the concrete wall, exhaled. "And lots of other things, like sword-fighting and being a good daddy to the children."

A low growl issued from the ninja; he flicked his gaze towards Fai and glowered. "I'm not a daddy."

"So you keep insisting," he retorted, feeling much at ease now that the focus of their conversation was on the other man instead. "Syaoran-kun looks up to you a lot, you know, you did so well training him in Outo." At Kurogane's raised brow, he continued, "His reaction times have improved. I saw him shielding Sakura-chan from a stray flying rock the other day."

"Mm."

There was no outward evidence that the ninja had any reaction to his compliment, save for a little proud quirk at the corner of his lips. It made Fai warm and a little shivery, that smile, and he tried not to think too much about it. On impulse, because they were drinking, and because there wasn't much to lose anyway, he babbled, "I bet your father would be proud of you, Kuro-daddy."

Where that came from, he didn't know, but Kurogane had whipped around to stare at him in the next heartbeat.

Those red eyes were fierce and dangerous, and more than a little incensed. "You don't know him," the ninja breathed. His fingers twitched; Fai was vaguely glad that they'd emptied the wine bottle and that Kurogane had set his sake cup down—it would be an unnecessary expenditure to have to replace their drinking cups. "Drop the subject."

"Why?" he probed. Adrenaline pumped into his veins; he was, suddenly, very curious about the ninja's limits—just how far would Kurogane go to strike him down? What was he up against in the event that he needed to kill the other man? "Was he a bad father?"

Souhi flashed out in an arc of gleaming silver, whistled through the air. Fai sprung backwards with his walking cane, leaned back to avoid a horizontal cut, then sidestepped a diagonal swing, and leaped back a few more paces. This was easy. This was far better than him lingering on thoughts about his master, or his employer, or even either of his kings or his brother. Kurogane probably needed practice with his sword, anyway.

So Fai continued to rile the ninja up, with taunts like "You needn't be so angry, Kuro-tan," and "Did you have bad upbringing? You seem awfully short-tempered," and little insults that kept either of them from thinking too much. They danced around the rooftop, hopping over the makeshift kitchen and dining table and circled the cars. Throughout, Kurogane refrained from using any of his energy-based attacks, which was just as well, since they didn't need the authorities cracking down on a pointless fight like this.

It was on their second circuit around the rooftop, feet away from the stairwell, that Fai decided he'd had enough of a prelude—assuming that Kurogane would ever forget the urge to decapitate him. (That was fine, he would rather be distant from the man.) When Kurogane sheathed his sword, and came at him with bare fists, Fai shifted his feet so the ninja slammed him into the ajar door of the stairwell with enough force that it banged against the wall, the clatter echoing down the stairs. He stumbled backwards; Kurogane pinned him roughly to the far wall, knocking every bit of breath from his lungs.

He wondered briefly if Kurogane would be his match in a fight to the death, and whether they would die together like he planned and failed to with Ashura.

"You," Kurogane snarled, breath hot on his face, red eyes glowing in the semi-darkness of the stairwell, "You don't know anything about my father."

"I don't," Fai agreed. He didn't lower his eyes, however, merely met the other's stare. Heat radiated off Kurogane's skin; the sharp scent of sweat filled his nostrils, heady and distracting. "What will you do about me, Kuro-sama?"

It was the one nickname that Kurogane didn't mind quite as much, and in the next instant, the man had hooked his foot around the door and kicked it shut, so they were encased in pitch darkness, with their breathing the only sound that he could hear in this echoing space. His blood thrummed in his veins.

"You," the warrior growled, towering over him, one hand twisted in his shirt and the other pressed against the wall, "I should punch you senseless for slandering my father."

Yet for all his blows, he hadn't really landed a hit on Fai, not even when Fai had left openings in the last few seconds leading up to this.

"He wouldn't want you to," Fai deduced quietly on an exhale. Kurogane's arm was firm and solid across his chest, and every bit as lethal. (His heart pumped a little harder.) "Not many can claim to have kindness like that," he continued, watching the larger man with eyes that had been trapped in perpetual darkness. The ninja blinked in surprise. "He's a good man. I see that now."

Kurogane made a little noise in his throat, one that was a cross between a choke and a rumble, and the next sensations Fai knew were of himself being pressed into the wall, roughly, and warm lips crashing onto his in a ferocious kiss.

This wasn't quite the interaction he had anticipated, but Fai wasn't one to care, not right now, when large fingers released his shirt and plowed through his hair, hauling him forward. It was a kiss that rendered him breathless, and all he could do was hang on, when Kurogane did familiar, good things things with his tongue that set him quivering, sent a bolt of heat straight down, and he moaned.

In this tight space, where the air was heavy and difficult to breathe, there was only him and Kurogane, and the thick thigh shoved between his and hands yanking at his shirt, his belt. Fai reveled in it, chased the sensations and whined when the other man ground briefly against him, arching forward for more. His own hands scrabbled at Kurogane's clothes, reached down to squeeze that tight ass, and there was no pausing for air when Kurogane shoved his groin against Fai's. He jerked, groaned, reached down to free the other of his confines, because the texture of skin on skin was so much more titillating than grinding through layers of fabric.

His pants came unzipped with a harsh rasp; Kurogane cupped his hardening flesh roughly, and he hissed, rocked into that warm palm, whimpered when the kiss broke and there were lips and tongue along his jaw, licking and sucking beneath his ear, down his throat. Somehow, he'd managed to shove the other's lower garments down to his knees, and the press of hot, silky skin against his wrenched a gasp from his throat. He couldn't think, could only feel and plead for more.

(For all that Kurogane was his enemy, and for all the distance he tried to put between them, it was in the arms of this very man where he felt the safest. It wasn't a reassuring notion at all.)

The following days seemed to pass quickly, yet they dragged along at the same time. Nothing was mentioned of Fai's nightmare; he returned with much trepidation to work, and Taran seemed unaware of his duplicity, committed right on the same day Fai received the warning from his master. (Perhaps it was seen as a method to wear down the warrior's defenses?)

Where possible, Fai avoided Kurogane and retired early to bed. (Sometimes Sakura was the one who turned in late; she had been experimenting with baking little pre-made snacks and pastries in the toaster oven, and Syaoran often stayed up to help her with them.) Sometimes there wasn't a choice but for Fai to talk to the ninja, and strike annoying bits of banter between his casual chatting with the children. Kurogane preferred to be quiet, after all, and Syaoran mostly only spoke when he had something of interest to say. (Lately, he'd had his nose in a history book he'd borrowed from the library.)

Mokona noticed.

She hopped onto Fai's shoulder close to the two-week mark of their stay, when he was parked by the car repair shop to drop Sakura off. Syaoran was waiting by the shop entrance—Kurogane had long since disappeared—and Sakura was poised by the open car door, peeking in expectantly. "Moko-chan, are you coming along?" she chirped. "We're going to be late!"

"Mokona will be right there!" the furry creature said sunnily, waving her stubby paws. "Go ahead first, Sakura!"

The princess blinked in mild surprise, bemused smile stretching her lips. With a curious glance at Fai, she nodded and waved at them. "Don't be long then!" she answered brightly, "I'll see you later, Fai-san!"

"Do your best, Sakura-chan!" he said and waved back. When the girl had turned away, he glanced at the magical construct on his shoulder, smiling benignly. "What did you want to talk about, Mokona?"

The creature seemed to droop then, and she tugged at one of her long ears. "Fai is lonely, aren't you?" she mumbled. Her entire face was pinched, and even her squinting eyes looked morose. "And scared. What Fai feels, Mokona feels it too."

He breathed a sigh at her revelation. She had shared about that ability of hers ever since Outo, and he didn't quite know what to make of it, for the most part. It was difficult to stop feeling so much, not with all the burdens he was carrying. Yet, Mokona never told anyone what he felt, and for that, he was grateful.

"Something happened between Fai and Kurogane, didn't it?" she whispered miserably. "Because of that, both of you are lonely."

Fai tried to shrug. "It isn't that bad, you know. Just something that sometimes happens between adults."

"But Mokona thinks you can help each other," she continued. "Sometimes Mokona feels it, when Fai is happy with Kurogane."

He couldn't help the heat that prickled at his cheeks. (But it wasn't as if Mokona would tease him, anyway. And it wasn't as if she knew his circumstances. He was most definitely not happy with the other man.)

"—Especially at night," she was saying, with stubby arms in the air, "It feels like a great wind, whoosh! And suddenly Fai and Kurogane are very happy with each other."

Fai couldn't speak for long moments, when he realized what exactly the creature was talking about. The skin on his face had to have been scorched off by now. "You aren't—" He swallowed, and tried again. "You aren't going to speak with Kuro-tan about this, are you, Mokona? He would never forgive you for it, you know. That big brute."

She looked a little uncertain. "But Mokona doesn't know how else to help."

He reached up to ruffle the fur on her head. "You don't have to. Sometimes the best way to help is by letting things run their course," he answered gently, and imagined Kurogane's beet-red face during a similar talk with their little companion. "Everything will be okay."

That was a blatant lie, though Mokona did not press the topic. "Okay," she relented, nodding, "Mokona understands. Just like with Syaoran and Sakura."

Fai felt like sinking into his seat for the second time. "Well," he tried to say with some semblance of cheer, "Don't you worry too much about it. I'll make some dessert tonight, okay?"

The creature cheered up then, lop ears perking at the mention of sweet treats. "Fai makes the best food," she sang, hopping off his shoulder. "Mokona wants chocolate cake!"

"I'll see what I can do," he promised, then watched as she leaped onto the windowsill, waving at him. "Have a good day with Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun!"

A/N: Mokona, you troll. The Fai and Sakura scene was inspired by a prompt on clampkink. :) More action next chapter, and then we'll be taking a break from this series for a bit to visit the Horitsuba universe. :) Do you guys need warnings if sexual situations occur?

Thank you, as always, for taking the time to leave some feedback! :)