Disclaimer: I will someday rule the world, and yet I will never own Supernatural. There's something seriously wrong with this picture.
Summary: Home alone. Bored Lucifer. Utterly not amused Sam. What could be better?
"Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Hey, Sammy. Sam. Sa-"
"Oh, for God's sake, what?"
"Say yes."
"No."
"But why not, Sammy?"
"I have absolutely no idea, Lucifer. Oh, wait. I think I just figured it out."
"Ouch. You get me right here, Sam. In the heart."
"Right."
"It hurts, I tell you."
"Put a Band-Aid on the wound and shut up."
"Cruel."
"I don't care."
"Cold."
"I. Don't. Care."
"Rude."
"Go away."
Next up: They kept him company. He could hear their voices and see them as if they had physical bodies.
Yes, next up is Crazy!Cas with a side helping of StrandedInAnAlternateWorld!Cas. Look forward to it.
Weird Randomness!
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"Sam, I'm bored."
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"Sam, Dean's being an idiot."
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"Sam, you're being an idiot."
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"Sam, that shapeshifter's being an idiot."
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"Sam, everyone's being an idiot. Except me, of course. I'm never an idiot."
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"Sam, there's nothing interesting going on."
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"Sam, you're not paying attention to me."
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"I don't care if the insane werewolf is trying to eat you, Sam. I'm missing my TV show. How can you be so selfish?"
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"Sam-"
The younger Winchester suddenly started flinging insults at the Devil in a blind rage, waving his arms around and practically spitting on him, his voice rising with every word until it was almost a shriek. Finally, he started foaming at the mouth and collapsed to the ground, unconscious.
Lucifer blinked. "What's his problem?" he wondered.
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"Sam, I'm bored."
Sam dove for his gun.
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