AN: I'd like to thank CallMeAnonymous9 and TheInsaneLoricWhovian, whose reviews made me practically hyperventilate with glee. No, trust me, it's a good thing.

Disclaimer: Why, yes, yes I do own Supernatural. What? No, I'm not lying. How dare you, my name certainly is Eric Kripke! I changed it legally just a minute ago . . .

Summary: The Devil is bored of being evil. Sam has a suggestion for him.

"Being evil is so boring, Sam," Lucifer complained.

Sam stared at him. "You're joking, right?"

"Why would I joke about this? It's like . . . talking to a rock. It doesn't do anything, and then people start to take notice and they cart you off to an asylum because they think you're insane, which you are, but it's not like being anything else would be more interesting."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"You're the one I torment when I'm bored," Lucifer exclaimed. "Do something about it!"

"Why don't you try being good for once?" Sam suggested wearily. "It can't hurt, right?"

"Being good . . ." Lucifer mumbled. "How the Hell would I do that?"

"I don't know. Just . . . watch people who are good and do what they do."

Lucifer thought about it, then sighed with exaggerated annoyance. "Fine."

So he did.

Sam woke up to the smell of coffee and something cooking.

He opened his eyes, squinting in at the sunlight, and slowly sat up. He glanced at the clock, and nearly choked.

It was two in the afternoon. He'd slept nearly seven whole hours. He hadn't gotten that much sleep in . . . years, really.

He got up and walked into the kitchen, then instantly halted, struck by the sight of Lucifer at the stove, scraping scrambled eggs onto a plate. He was wearing an apron. Just a white one, without frills or words, but it still creeped the young demon-hunter out.

Lucifer turned to see him. "Oh, Sam," he said casually. "You're up."

"That's all you can say? 'You're up'?" Sam sputtered. "What are you doing?"

Lucifer looked at him as if he were the insane one. "Making you breakfast, of course."

Sam couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "What?"

"Saw it on TV," Lucifer told him. "It was the only thing on that actually seemed somewhat promising. You said to do what other people do, and despite how . . . domestic . . . it is, it was either this or a real-life reenactment of Marley and Me. Also, breaking eggs excites me."

"Yeah, you're a real family man," Sam muttered as he slid into a chair, still a little freaked out.

"Not a man," Lucifer sang as he grabbed the plate of eggs and let it clatter onto the table.

Sam stared down at them suspiciously. "You didn't put anything in them, did you?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "As if I would ruin the moment." He grabbed a fork from the drawer and handed it over.

Sam hesitated, then slowly, bracing himself, raised some egg to his mouth and ate it.

Surprisingly, it tasted nothing like human flesh. It was pretty good, actually.

Sam nodded at Lucifer cautiously. "Thanks."

The Devil paused, cocking his head. "Hmm."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing you need to worry about."

Sam eyed him warily, then shrugged. "Where's Dean?"

"He went out to go eat some toxic waste."

". . . he did what?"

"It's called a hamburger, Sam. Made with extra onions, a gallon of grease, and the violent murder of that rare little thing we call mental and physical health," Lucifer intoned.

Sam snorted quietly and stabbed another pile of eggs. It was official. Lucifer was a hypocrite.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Dean walked in. He paused at the sight of Sam up and awake. "Hey, Sammy. You make that yourself?"

"No," Sam mumbled through a mouth full of food.

Dean closed the door and collapsed in a chair at the table. "So where'd you get it?"

"Lucifer made it."

Dean's expression didn't change. "What."

Sam jerked a thumb at Lucifer, who waved at Dean as he leaned against the counter. The apron had disappeared, leaving him in a white long-sleeved shirt and jeans.

"The Devil made you breakfast," Dean said.

"The Devil made me breakfast," Sam confirmed, shoving another forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"Either I'm going mad, or the rest of the world is psychotic and I'm the only sane one here."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Please, if anything, it would be the other way around."

Sam relayed Lucifer's words to Dean, whose expression turned offended. "Excuse me? I'm sane. I'm perfectly sane."

The unconvinced expression on both Sam and Lucifer's faces said otherwise, though.

Next up: Adam's just been dragged out of Hell . . . and he has no idea where he is.

Weird Randomness!

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"So I'm going to need a few things in order to make my special Intestinal Surprise-"

"No."

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