Chapter 19

February 24th

Tommy knew something was up when he woke excruciatingly early on a dim Saturday morning to find Katrina pacing up and down the length of her tiny bedroom. He sat up but she didn't seem to notice, just made another trip around the room, running her hands through her hair and muttering indistinctly to herself. Tommy watched her for a moment before rising to meet her. She stopped short, startled.

"Did I wake you up?" Katrina asked.

Tommy shook his head, "come back to bed?"

"I can't sleep." She said as Tommy took her hand and drew her back under the blankets. It was still bitterly cold in the apartment and Tommy jumped as Katrina's freezing feet made contact with his legs.

"Sorry." She whispered.

"S'okay… what's goin' on?" Tommy knew that something had to be wrong to get Katrina out of bed early on the weekend.

Katrina groaned quietly, eyes closed as though blocking out some intense pain. "The show starts today… great…" She brought her hands up to cover her face before peeking out at him.

Comprehension dawning, Tommy understood what she was talking about, first night of Snow White, of course. Then a thought came to him and he frowned at her.

"You didn't get me a ticket." He tried not to sound accusatory but he'd already asked Frank about inviting her to see him fight against Forrest Griffin in two weeks time.

To his surprise Katrina smiled, "actually I did, but not for tonight, it's bad luck."

"Bad luck. Really?" Tommy could feel the edges of his mouth curl into a smile at her superstition.

"Don't you dare laugh! I'm stressed out enough already." she tried to smack him but he caught her hand, so small in his that he could fold his fingers right over hers.

"Well let's see what I can do about that then." Tommy mumbled, stealing a kiss. He heard Katrina's intake of breath as his lips began to travel lower, down her neck, shoulders, cleavage, stomach… by the time he was finished she wouldn't even remember her own name.

Tommy stayed awake staring into the darkness; he'd been sleeping better than usual lately. He attributed it to all the late-night "workouts" he'd been having between the sheets.

All the same, on the nights he slept alone he still woke to the sounds of screams and gunfire. Occasionally the nightmares were so vivid that he swore he could feel the sand creeping into the crevasses of his body armor and the heat of the day beating down on him. After those dreams he'd wake and have to force himself to lie still and wait until his body stopped shaking. The muscles so tense it was painful, the nightmares still clawing at his consciousness. Trapped in the darkness with only his rising panic for company, it was on those nights that he wished he hadn't chucked all his Oxycodone down Brendan's sink.

Katrina shifted, frowning in her sleep. Tommy hesitated for a moment before starting to rub wide, slow circles on her back with the hand that wasn't tangled up in her hair. She sighed softly, stretching like a cat. Tommy took a deep breath; if she kept that up he'd need a cold shower soon. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, pulling her closer, their limbs entangling. Even after three weeks Tommy was still surprised by how her tiny body could be so fragile looking but so wonderfully strong. He was still afraid of hurting her when they were together of crushing her or holding her too tightly.

When the sun came up they both rose and Tommy started to make breakfast. He usually had bacon and eggs to start off the day, his mother had taught him to cook that much at least. It was quiet in the kitchen; Katrina was slumped on one of the stools, nursing a cup of the blackest, sweetest coffee. Usually, Tommy reflected, she was the chatty one, taking him out of his moods and getting him to open up.

The silence stretched out with only the sounds of cooking in the background, not a comfortable silence, but the kind that needs to be filled. Katrina was the expert at this and as Tommy cast about for something to say, he drew a blank.

"Tommy," he turned quickly from to stove to look at her.

"Yeah?"

Katrina looked at him over the rim of her coffee cup, from the way her knuckles had turned white around the handle, Tommy could see that she was nervous about something.

"What?" he asked.

"Last weekend, when we went to your brother's house… what was that all about?"

Tommy had wondered when she was going to ask this but still hadn't come up with a good answer. The truth, unbidden, sprang to the forefront of his mind.

"You wanna to know what happened at Sparta?"

Katrina nodded.

It took Tommy a moment to find the right words, rubbing both hands through his hair distractedly. "Brendan and I were in Sparta together, Frank was his trainer back then and I was just out of the Marines."

He paused, trying to fit the facts together in his mind, the story came out haltingly, and Tommy kept glancing up at Katrina to see if she understood but every time he looked her dark eyes were still trained on him. He started with deserting his unit, picking up where they'd left off last time, in the desert. He told her about going to Colt's gym and beating Mad Dog, about training with his father, staying in his childhood bedroom. He told her about seeing the poster for Sparta and seeing the adverts on TV, he told her about his promise to look after Pilar and her kids after Manny died. He had to pause then, voice threatening to break. He took a deep breath, Katrina's gaze never left his face. He continued, describing in a low voice how Brendan had beaten him in the final of Sparta, dislocating his shoulder. He was about to tell her about Brendan's own troubles when Katrina interrupted him.

"Brendan put you in the hospital?" she asked, aghast.

Tommy nodded, then shrugged, "Don't matter now, like I said, we're on good terms now and he had his own reasons."

"I'd hate to see what bad terms is."

Tommy smiled slightly, coming over to sit opposite her, he put his hands over hers, still gripping the coffee cup tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier… but you can see why I didn't want you to know right?"

She nodded, turning her hands over so that she could lace her fingers though his. "It's alright… as long as you're alright"

Tommy's heart seemed to constrict in his chest, almost painfully. He was wondering whether to lean over and kiss her when a strong burning smell reached them.

"Shit!" he swore, leaping up and throwing a pan-full of burning eggs and bacon into the sink.

Katrina didn't stop laughing at him for the next ten whole minutes whilst Tommy cleaned her pan and scrubbed the burned fat off of her stovetop.

"You'd make quite the house husband." She remarked as Tommy threw himself down into the seat opposite her.

He shrugged, a slight smile quirking his lips, "old habits."

"Do you want some cereal or something? It's in the bottom cupboard there."

Tommy shook his head, "Don't worry about it, I should probably be off anyway."

Katrina nodded, checking her watch, Tommy saw her cheeks blanch. "Sugar."

"What?" he asked, helping himself absently to the last of her coffee.

In answer Katrina jumped up and started pulling clothes out of the dresser. She mumbled something incoherently about being late.

Tommy gathered his apartment keys off the bench and let her hustle him to the door, helping her pull a t-shirt over her head as they went. He brushed her hair away from her eyes as they stood facing each other from opposite sides of the doorway.

As usual when he knew he should say something, Tommy couldn't come up with the words, he trusted his gut instead. Her skin was gorgeously soft under his hands as he kissed her, gently, urgently, trying to show her how much this morning had meant to him. Katrina's finger tangled in his hair, tracing lines across the nape of his neck, melting into him as she always did. All too soon they broke apart, the sound of their breathing filling the space between them.

"Good luck tonight darlin'."

"Thanks, don't wait up for me, I'll be out late." she whispered.

And with that they parted ways.

February 25th

It was dark when Tommy heard a sharp rap on the door and his head jerked up from where he'd been almost asleep on the couch in front of a late-night darts tournament. He heaved himself up, feeling the cramp in his back flare and burn. The person knocked again. Tommy felt himself getting irritated, what the fuck was so important at this time of night?

He sighed and unlocked the door, throwing it open. On the other side was Katrina, leaning against the doorframe as though it was the one thing stopping her from sinking to the floor. She was soaking wet from the rain and the tiny red dress she was wearing clung to every inch of her body.

"Hey!" she said brightly, smiling at him with wine-red lips to match the dress.

Tommy raised his eyebrows.

"Hey."

"So… sorry to turn up this late but-" she sighed, "the lift's broken and three floors is more than I can handle."

He had to crack a smile at that, three in the morning or not.

"So, can I come in?" she asked, attempting another winning smile.

"Course." As it turned out he practically had to carry her to the couch, as Katrina's co-ordination was not up to the challenge of six-inch heels. She giggled, flopping down unceremoniously.

"How was it?" he asked, helping her take her shoes off.

"Oh my god… amazing… I barely remember any of it." She giggled again and Tommy noticed that she was shivering badly.

"Cold?"

"Yeah, I had to walk the last few blocks." She tried to wipe away some of the makeup that had smudged under her eyes.

Tommy frowned, "By yourself?"

She nodded, "I'm a big girl Tommy."

This didn't sit well with Tommy, he didn't like to think of her out in the dark alone in this part of town, but he realized that it was a conversation for another time, when she wasn't plastered.

"How 'bout I run you a bath?" he asked as her shivering worsened. She nodded distractedly, slipping off her jacket and starting to peel off her tights.

Tommy stood and retreated to the bathroom, he realized his t-shirt was soaking wet from carrying Katrina and covered in her makeup. He stripped it off adding it to a pile of dirty clothes that he needed to take to the launderette.

When he returned from the bathroom he found Katrina curled up on his couch in only her bra and pants, she'd pulled a blanket half over herself and seemed to be asleep, her chest rising and falling gently. The dress, if you could call it that, and jacket were on the floor along with her soaking wet tights. Tommy wondered for a moment if it was all right to check out a drunk and passed out girl if she was your girlfriend. He shook that thought out of his head and tried to wake her.

"Katy come on, get up." He shook her gently.

She groaned, frowning, "Fuck off."

Tommy let out an exasperated sigh, "come on Katy time to get in the bath."

"I'm asleep." She mumbled, rolling over

"Come on," Tommy scooped Katrina up into his arms, shuddering slightly as her freezing skin came into contact with his own. The sensation was short lived however, steam had filled the bathroom turning it into a sauna.

Tommy deposited Katrina on the edge of the bath, crouching down so they were at eye level.

"You alright?" he asked.

She nodded, "fine, just a bit dizzy is all." When she stated to remove her bra Tommy stood up, Katrina was strictly a lights-off girl.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked.

Katrina looked up at him, a wicked smile playing across her lips. "Come in with me."

"What?"

"Come on, there's space for us both."

She turned and dropping her knickers, faced him with such an uncharacteristic lack of shyness that it almost made him blush.

"Alright." He agreed, stripping off with a grin.

Katrina turned over in the water with a splash that went all over the floor. They were pressed together now, front to front. Tommy automatically wound his arms around her, running them up and down her back. He wondered when that had become second nature to him. To reach out and pull someone closer, rather than pushing them away, to let his hands find that spot on her waist she especially liked, he didn't know nor did he much care. The here and now was much more important and here and now they were tangled together in Tommy's bathtub, soap slicking their skins and clouding the water in one of the most peaceful moments of Tommy's life. Katrina ran her fingers in a slow pattern over the tribal tattoo on his forearm and shoulder, leaving a trail of goose bumps that even the warm water couldn't take away. She sighed, breaking the rhythm of their slow, shared breathing, looking up at him.

Even now her eyes were slightly unfocussed, glazed. In a way though, Tommy felt as though he was seeing her more clearly, almost for the first time. Her defenses were finally down, the walls that she'd built were being shed as suddenly as the clothes that lay discarded across the floor.

Katrina smiled, and Tommy felt his chest constrict just as it had that morning, as though someone had squeezed his heart with their bare hands.

Without thinking about it he hoisted her up the last few necessary inches and kissed her full on the lips. She wound her arms around his neck, their bodies flush together sending a heat wave of lust straight down into the pit of his stomach.

I love you.

The words flashed through Tommy's brain like lightning, searing everything in its path. Tommy kissed Katrina again, occupying his lips before he said something stupid.

A/n- So happy Christmas and New Years guys, so sorry that this update took forever! My life has been under some serious renovation, moving countries and getting ready for uni but hopefully this chapter will go down well and I'll get on with the next one! Tell me what you think xoxo