AN: CallMeAnonymous9, I tell ya, you are doing wonders for my ego, and it already needed no encouragement. I give you my sincere thanks. Without you, I would be severely deprived.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. However, I do own my witty riposte, and that in itself is damn satisfying.

Summary: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Summary quote by Dr. Seuss.

He saw a monster in the mirror.

Black eyes, dark skin, sharp nails, razor teeth, growling voice, fiendish smile. The only thing that hadn't changed since he got back from Hell was his hair.

He wondered sometimes why no one else could see it; he was right there in front of them. It seemed the only ones who could see him were a few other monsters. He knew when they saw him by the light in their eyes, suggesting either fear or amusement.

Should it be the latter, they weren't amused for long.

"You ready to go, Dean?" his brother said.

He turned, smiled that same twisted curving of the lips, somehow genuine despite its warped ways. "You have to ask?"

Sam smiled back. "Didn't want to have to put up with your whining if we left before you were ready."

Thank God Sam couldn't see him for what he was.

Dean crouched over his unconscious brother, clawed hand settled gently in his hair.

A witch more powerful than they'd expected had sent them into some kind of dream world, one where he couldn't hide in the form of humanity.

He supposed the disguise had to be torn away sometime.

Sammy opened his eyes and blinked slowly at him. "Dean?"

He smiled down at his brother and held up his free hand. "Hey, Sammy. How many fingers am I holding up?"

Sam squinted at him. "Uh . . . five?"

"Close enough." He lowered the two fingers and helped Sam up. "You feelin' alright?"

"Well, the room's kinda spinning and . . . whoa."

"What?"

"Where did you get those extra ears?"

Dean patted him on the shoulder. "I borrowed yours."

"Whoa."

Yeah, he was out of it.

"Did you grow out your nails?"

"Yeah, Sammy. Had to wait a few years, but now they're my pride and joy."

Sam looked at him sadly. "I thought that was me."

"Sure, dude. They're my second pride and joy. You're my first."

"Thanks, Dean."

"Anytime."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you a demon?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"Your eyes look kinda black."

"You scared?"

"Nahhhhhhhh."

"A bit too much 'ahhh' there, buddy."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"Are you a vampire?"

"No."

"You've got really sharp teeth."

"They're my third pride and joy."

"Oh. You sound like you're gargling gravel."

"That's because I did, just five minutes ago."

Sam seemed fascinated. "What was that like?"

"I'm sure not doing it again, if that's what you're asking."

"Was it traumatizing?"

"Very."

Sam patted him on the cheek. "I'm sorry you're traumatized, Dean."

"Nah, s'fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

He gazed at Dean. "Do you need a hug?"

"Think we can wait on that, dude."

"Okay. Where's Cas?"

"Surfing in Guatemala."

"Wearing his trenchcoat?"

"No way, man. No one surfs in a trenchcoat."

"I hope he remembered to use sunscreen."

"He's an angel, Sam. I don't think he needs sunscreen."

"Oh. Right. Where's the Impala?"

"Safe outside the dream, thank God."

"We're in a dream?"

"You got it."

"Is that why you've got black eyes and sharp teeth?"

"Nah, I'm like this all the time, you just don't see it."

"Why not?"

"Dunno."

"I love you no matter what you look like," Sam declared.

"Thanks, Sammy. I'll make sure to remember that the next time I get an Afro."

Sam's eyes widened. "Don't get an Afro."

"You don't think I'd look good in one?"

"No. Afros scare me, Dean."

"Seriously?"

Sam gazed solemnly at him. "Seriously."

"That's . . . interesting."

This conversation was going to be repeated. Several times a day. Sam wouldn't know what hit him.

Well. He still didn't know what hit him, but whatever . . .

Next up: In which Dean Winchester is Saved.

Weird Randomness!

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An unwelcome hand jostled his shoulder. "Yo, Sam. It's time to get up, dude."

Sam groaned. "Dean?"

"S'me, little brother."

He cracked open his eyes to squint at the clock on the bedside table before turning his gaze to Dean. Upon seeing his older sibling, he yelled and threw himself away from him. A horrified expression fixed on his face, he pointed a trembling finger at the creature atop Dean's head. "What . . ."

Dean patted his hair. "Oh, this? It's an Afro."

Sam's scream was heard for miles.

0000

Castiel blinked. He turned to one of his nearby fellow surfers. "Did you hear s-" A wave swallowed him whole.

After a minute, his surfboard made an appearance.

Someone broke the preceding silence. "Is he dead?"

0000

Cas awoke on an abandoned beach. He tried to move, but his body involuntarily flinched. "My back," he realized. "Did I dislodge a disc? Did something happen while I was In the water?" His eyes widened. "Am I dying?"

A fish that was flopping in open air beside him paused to give him a look, as if to say, It's just a sunburn, you dork.

"I see," he said. "My apologies." He peered closer. "I must say, I didn't know fish were so attuned to the human language that they could decipher and use terms such as the word 'dork'."

We're not. I'm not even talking to you. I'm dead, you idiot. Jesus.

Cas studied it. "You know, your voice seems to have an eerie resemblance to Dean's."

The deceased fish gave up. Well, as much as something that was deceased could, anyway.

0000