Sorry for the delay. Here is chapter 6!
Divergent is owned and written by Veronica Roth and associates
All OC's are mine :)

Again reviews are most welcomed! Enjoy my lovelies :)

My throat was dry my voice hoarse, as I had been speaking for hours with Katherine, a tactic and a nice distraction from the impending final test before we became full Dauntless members, no longer initiates. But with all the girl talk we had the pressure of finding answers and in turn leading a dangerous mission was weighing on me.

Staring up at the high ceiling it reminded me of the nights that my brother and I would climb onto the roof of our house, watching the stars light up the night sky until the rising of the sun, as we would speak for hours on anything and everything. Some nights we would just stare up uttering not one word, the silence said everything between us. My brother was always Dauntless, but now I question if I have ever been. Am I truly Dauntless, or did I just choose because of the pressures of my brother, and now my father. I was raised Candor but taught the Dauntless way. My brother taught me how to hold a gun, using a small broom, having me stand for hours, fixing my stance, pretending to shoot at non-existent targets, my father would sometimes, after work when mother was still not home, would teach me how to fight, how to protect myself, especially after my attack. Gingerly touching my scar that I once hated with a fiery passion, now brought back memories of the first time my brother truly showed his Dauntlessness. I smiled at the memory.

It was still deep in the night, the sounds of soft snoring filled the dormitory but I couldn't sleep, my memories and fears replaying a strange movie throughout my brain over and over again, much like the previous nights. Flipping my sheets off me, I reached for my boots slipping them on, shrugging my jacket over my camisole, my legs though were still bare, short shorts covering my bottom, barely reaching mid-thigh. My place of rest was the chasm, a place where most feared, I however loved. Droplets of water splattered on my exposed thigh, leaving a wet trail down my leg, watching the different patterns they were making. My head rested on the cool metal railing, and what felt like deja-vu, came the heavy sounds of boot cladded footsteps coming my way. I rolled my eyes involuntarily, knowing what was going to come.

"What are you, an insomniac, initiate?" His voice sent several hairs rising on my neck. The bridge vibrated with its sudden shift in weight as Eric sat down beside me.

"Your constant mood swings are giving me whiplash." Turning to look at him I thought I would receive a scolding from the young leader, I was however surprised when I saw a shift of his lips, his eyebrow cocked in the air. "As for being an insomniac, you're probably right." I chuckled a little as the realization of having a laid back conversation with Eric was becoming a reality. He didn't give me a reply, silence filled the air, as we both stared at the crashing water splattering against its rocky walls, down to the unknown floor of the chasm. We sat there for what felt like hours, his watch however registered only a thirty minute time lapse. It was the first time Eric and I had been in the same vicinity without either being shoved off the chasm or a knife to the face, or a screaming match, just a calm silence.

My brother's face appeared, etched in my brain, a constant reminder of my new found mission to bring answers to his disappearance, my number one target sitting just to my left. I sighed through my nose, because even though Eric, was cruel, harsh and somewhat psychopathic he was still a person, with real feelings and emotions, hurting him wouldn't feel too good, my heart already aching at the prospect of his hurt. I turned to look at him, to see he was intently staring back at me. And for the first time I saw seventeen year old Eric, the young Dauntless leader, as just a man. Nothing more, nothing less.

His blue-grey orbs swam with curiosity, mine the same. Trailing my eyes across his face, I stopped at his round, pink lips how they were slightly parted, wanting to see him smile for the first time. My eyes travelled back to meet his, where they continued to look in my direction.

Subconsciously my head tilted up to his, only slightly, and I could see his moving just the same. My posture grew straighter and somehow I had ended on my knees, still look up at him. A pressure came to sit at either side of my waist, his hands groped my sides, pulling me flush to him, and only now I registered that I was straddling our big bad leader. My hands which were by my side hanging limply, were now placed on either side of his arms.

The smell of mint and musk filled my senses, leaving me slightly hazy, my lips parted ever so little, a breathy moan escaped me. I could see a twitch of his lips, a sign that he knew what he could make me do, with just a little touch. I bit down on my lip to stifle anymore sounds that I might make, my forehead pressed to his, the first mode of contact I made. His nose traced alongside mine, and when he reached down to the button of my slender nose he played with my septum piercing, the feel of cool metal, awakening my senses. My eyes shut when I felt cool breath near my ear, as he bit down on my right earlobe, his tongue glided up and down my piercings, my hands gripping on his arms tighter. His hands reached up to unzip my jacket, pushing it down to reveal my very tight camisole, which pushed my breasts up- a buy Katherine forced me to get- his eyes filled with lust when he looked back into my eyes.

Suddenly I was standing over him, after pushing myself from his lap, fastening my jacket up. This isn't how I wanted my first time to go, not here where all of Dauntless could see me, and not with Eric. I was angry that he saw me that way, easy and cheap. My first thought of not wanting to hurt him now was completely gone, replaced with a fiery passion to watch him burn in a world full of hurt and pain.

"I'm not some quick lay if that's what you thought." My words were icy, my hands in fists, my nails digging hard into my palm, enough to break the skin.

He stood just as quickly, scoffing, and tried hastily to gain his dignity back with my sudden rejection "If that was your impression of me wanting to fuck you initiate, you're surely mistaken. I wouldn't want to go down there anyway, god knows where you've been." He hadn't had time to register my hand colliding with his face, as he stumbled back a small fraction, his palm cupped his now marked face.

His head slowly turned, inch by inch, his eyes that shone with a fire and wrath set its sights on me. But I was brave, reckless and stubborn that was for damn sure, but I would not run and cower like many would in the face of fear. And Eric was not someone I feared. Please, who are you kidding kiddo, you are scared shitless of the guy my consciousness gave me a once over, before scoffing and hiding away in the back of my head. With each step he took, I stepped back, until we were flush and flush, facing each other, my back pressed against the wall.

Heavy breath invaded my senses as he snarled down at me, his voice dripping with such venom a snake would be envious. "If you ever touch me like that again initiate, that will be the last time you are able to touch a thing, before your pathetic friends find your body sprawled broken and mangled at the bottom of the chasm." He waited for a moment to allow the words to register. "Do you understand me initiate?"

Don't say it, don't say it. Just agree with our psychopathic leader, for the sake of us Lex I internally screamed at my conscious to be quiet, before giving Eric a big and long nod of my head. I was getting under his skin, my sudden rejection and defiance was not something he was used too, nor from such a person, a woman no less, emasculating the big bad leader of Dauntless.

"Just letting you know, leader, that I won't be an initiate anymore. So maybe you should wipe that superiority complex clean from your big fat egotistical personality. We'll be equals soon." I extended every word, making sure each word was emphasised with meaning.

His double pierced eyebrow cocked only slightly but gave me a wide smirk before leaving me with some chilling words that bared his power. "That's if you pass, initiate."

I was up earlier than the other initiates, the clock reading we still had one hour to get up before final testings took place. I was still to wound up from last night's conversation with Eric to sleep, so I took a quick shower, before changing and walking down to the cafeteria hall, my dirty blonde locks in loose waves. The cafeteria hall was almost bare, with the expectation from a few Dauntless members, including Four and his friends. I made my way down to them.

"Lex you're up early." Four's voice echoed throughout the hall. Shrugging my shoulders I replied.

"Couldn't sleep. You know big day and all." I tried to act laid back, but Eric's words were on replay, like an annoying song you couldn't turn off.

"Zeke, Shauna, this is Lex. Lex, Zeke and Shauna." Four introduced me to the couple, I gave a gracious nod, sitting down on the edge of the table, picking at a blueberry muffin that was on the table.

"Aaaah the infamous Lex." Zeke caught my attention with this comment, I gave him a perplexed look, arching an eyebrow.

"What's that supposed to mean exactly?" He had caught my curiosity.

A chuckle escaped him before answering me. "Just that you've caused some trouble with a young Dauntless leader."

"You mean Eric? Well at least I know I'm getting under his skin." A light giggle absconding from my lips.

"And why is that exactly?"

"I have my reasons. Anyway must be off, things to do, fears to overcome. Nice meeting you both." I stood up, popping a piece of the muffin in my mouth before making my way back to the dormitory. I was just outside the cafeteria door before a soft pressure wound around my wrist. I turned back to find Four.

"What's wrong?" The look on his face had me questioning his motives.

"I saw you last night." Arching my eyebrow he quickly responded "with Eric."

"And?"

"Why exactly were you with him?"

"For your information Four, he came to me. And why precisely is it to you that I was with Eric?"

"Because his dangerous. A danger to you. Like his a danger to me." His words suddenly clicked in my head. I furrowed my eyebrows together.

"I need to find answers Four."

"Answers to what Lex." I paused for a moment, not sure if I should tell him the truth as to why I was really here, why I was suddenly vested in Eric. Four told you about his divergence. You can trust him. This time I had to agree with her, she was right.

"My brother. I need to know what happened to him. And Eric has those answers."

Sound was creeping through the compound, a sign that morning had come, and people were rising for the day. Four leaned into me, whispering in my ear. "Meet me after the test. I'll find you. We'll talk more later." And with that he had vanished with the emerging crowd, leaving me more confused than I started. I turned to the voices that were calling my name, Jayce and Katherine fully dressed, walking hand in hand towards me. I shook my head and gave them a smile, hoping their new found love would give me a hearty distraction before my fear simulation test.

I was in my first fear. Facing the man who had physically scared me for life.

I called out. Once. Twice. No answer, but of course no-one would be here. The bodies are the in the closet. I walked slowly into the kitchen and grabbed the butchers' knife from the top draw. I was Dauntless and I had to think like one. My footsteps were heavy, each step felt like dragging lead forward, but I continued until I reached the closet door.

Reaching for the door handle, I swung it open abruptly. The knife I held clattered to the ground, merely missing my foot. My hands reached and cupped my cheeks, as I muffled out a gasp. Even facing it again, I still couldn't grip what was happening. The closet was filled with the bodies of my family, bloodied and piled on top of each other. Though this fear was far from over as I heard heavy stomping behind me. He was here. The faceless man. He was here to kill me. I turned around to feel his hands wrapping around my throat and pushing against the wall, hard. He lifted me above the ground, my feet barely touching the floor.

'Think dauntless.'

"Come on. I had you once, I'm not going to let you go again." My vision was becoming blurry, spots dancing in front of my eyes, but I wasn't going to give up. I smacked my forehead against his nose as hard as I could. His hands unwound from me to cup his bleeding nose. I took this chance of freedom to grab the cleaver now on the floor. I stood up, and I saw his fear in his eyes.

"I have lived with this scar every day of my life from you. Now it's your turn." I swung.

I fell. Hard. By back radiated pain, and I looked around to see myself in the wooden box, the coffin quickly being nailed shut as I could feel it being brought further and further to the floor. Next came the heavy thuds of presumably dirt being thrown on my coffin as I was being buried alive. So I began to kick up with my knees, trying to dent the wood somehow to free myself. It didn't work of course. Remember Lex, just breath. Slow down your heart rate and the simulation will think it's done.

I was outside the Factionless. Concrete buildings, half torn apart due to the war, stacks of paper and litter was strewn throughout the compound, but there was no-one in sight.
"Come on Lex." My head snapped up to the sound of his voice. Jax. This wasn't just a fear, but a memory. He ran past me, wearing black slacks and the white Candor Jacket. It was before he deferred, I was thirteen, and Jax thought it would be fun to play hide and seek around the Factionless sector. I cupped my right cheek, it was smooth. No indentation, no mark.

"Come on Lex. You're it, come find me." His voice echoed in one of the empty building lofts. My feet had a mind of their own as they started to walk to the sound of his voice, inside the dark and damp empty building.

I felt him before I saw him, my spine tingling, the hairs on the back of my neck rose up, as his heavy footed boots came crashing down around me, a tight grip on my arms. The unknown stranger pressed my back against his chest, the poking of his erection stabbed in my lower back. A hand clasped around my mouth, unable to shout for my brother, before I was dragged to the floor, the disgusting stranger soon straddling me as I wrestled for release. I struggled to detach my hand from his grip, but I prevailed cupping it to his face, clawing away at his cheek and neck, until he released his hand from my mouth. This was a simulation though, and I had to pass this fear by myself. But he was quick, and reached for the knife tucked away in his boot, it making harsh contact with my cheek. I felt a wetness pool around my stinging cheek, as blood I could only assume ran down past my cheek and neck. It was dark, but I was certain he still held the knife in his hands. I swung my entire upper body, my forehead connecting to his nose, a sicking crunch sounded, a sign I had broken his nose. Using the sudden shift in momentum, I punched him hard in the neck, and a clanging sounded, a sign he had dropped his weapon. It bounced around my feet, my fingers making fast work in retrieving it, slamming it straight through his eye.

I was back in Dauntless. The training room, where three guns, and three knives were lined up side by side, on a small metal table. This was new.
I had reached the table, and discovered that I had targets. Human targets posed at the end of the room. There heavy breathing and crying alerted me to who they were. My family. My father, my brother and my mother.
"Pick one." His voice snapped at me, causing me to turn to him. He had a wide smug smirk, hands crossed in front of his chest. Eric. My breathing intensified. He wanted me to choose one who will die. Die by my hands. The guns were quick, painless. But the sound of its firing would only remind me of the day I had to choose a family member to die. The knives terrified me, ever since being attacked, they meant pain and ugliness. But I had to break away from that fear. So killing two birds with one stone, I picked up the sleek, small knife and held it behind my back. My eyes on my family, whose stifling cries tore away at my heart. I closed my eyes and threw.

They were crawling around me, several hundred closed upon my legs, climbing up at such a pace, my heart couldn't handle. Their small, furry legs, brushed upon my exposed skin. Spiders. I fucking hate spiders. There was no way around this fear. Breathe Lex. Breathe.

My fingers brushed upon something soft and delicate, and soon I discovered my whole body was enclosed in the same material. Light filled the room from the several windows lined against the hard granite wall. I was in Dauntless, but where exactly was not known. A room of some sought, but other than that I was baffled. I could hear pitter patter of feet enter the apartment, and the double doors opened to a little boy, no more than two years of age, a wide grin, grey-blue eyes and sandy blonde hair atop his head come running, jumping on the bed. He shuffled over, and in that time I had escaped the warm cocoon of the blankets to open my arms up as the little boy jumped into them.
"Mummy."

My son. He was my son.

He was beautiful, a part of me I never wanted to let go, filled with innocence and kindness. He had my hair, but not my eyes. His eyes resembled those of Eric. And the more I looked at this boy, the more I saw the resemblance of the big bad Dauntless leader.

My son played with my hair, his small delicate fingers wrapping around my long locks. I kissed atop is head, breathing in his scent. It was just like Eric's, mint and musk.

The sound of a door opening and slamming shut caused my little boy to let go of my hair, turning around swiftly to the presence of someone. He came into view. Eric. My first instinct was to wrap my arms protectively around the little boy, not knowing what was going to happen. How was it that I had created such an innocent being with someone that of Eric. Why did I allow it with Eric was the question.

"Good you're up." His words were sharp and directed at me, it was clear he felt the same in this fear simulation and in real life towards me. He turned to our son, his eyes warming up slightly as he walked over to where we were sitting. He played with his hair before kissing his forehead. "Go play in the living room. I have to talk with your mum." My son looked at me for confirmation before he left. I nodded, he climbed off to go play on his dad's computer, before Eric shut the doors, leaving him and I alone in the bedroom.

"It's time you said goodbye to him. Nathan won't understand just yet, but I'll make sure he remembers you."

"Wait what do you mean? Time for me to go. Go where Eric?" The sudden feeling of leaving Nathan, my little boy, filled me with dread. No I wasn't going anywhere.

"You have too. To get better." He ripped of the blankets, pulling me roughly to a standing position as he grabbed both of my arms in one of his hands. "Let's go Lex. He doesn't need to be near your craziness."

No. I'm Dauntless. I won't go. You can't make me go. I frantically looked around, trying my hardest to get out of his death grip, my arms turning numb with his pressure. The doors opened, and several men in blue coats stormed in, each grabbing my arms as Eric released me. He opened up a black duffle bag, filling it with various clothes and toiletry items.

The men that had swarmed the apartment forgot about the doors of my bedroom were open, Nathan now witnessing everything that was happening. His tiny feet ran towards me, his little arms clutched around my legs as he witnessed his mother being dragged away from him.
"No Mummy. No." His wails were breaking my heart with every cry he took. The men tried prying him off me, but he was Dauntless, he was strong and brave. But all it took was one wrong move. As two men forced my son off me, he somehow took a tumble, and his neck collided with the edge of the bed.

His crying stopped. And everything around me ceased. Hands that were wrapped around me were now by their own sides, and my knees made harsh contact with the ground. Eric fell with me, our arms extending to pick our son up from the ground. His little head was in my lap, not moving, no sound at all.
"Baby wake up. Nathan, baby please wake up. Wake up for mummy." His limp body made no movement.

"Nathan. Nathan, please wake up. NATHAN. NATHAN." My eyes made harsh contact with Eric's. He was crying like I was, but behind his tears were emotions of fury and wrath, directed at me.

"Everything you touch, you kill. This is your fault."

No. No.

This isn't real.

"This isn't real."

My eyes were bloodshot, tears were still rolling down my face as I looked in the mirror in our dormitory. I was a mix of emotions coming from my fear simulation test, my last fear left me confused and hurt. But most of all afraid. I had not faced my fear and overcame it, but escaped it that of a divergent would, not of a Dauntless person. My fate was sealed. I would be killed.

I was alone, sitting on my bed, mindlessly folding the little garments I had, while everyone was down stairs waiting impatiently for their results. My mind was elsewhere, allowing Four to creep into the room, surprising me with his presence.

"Everything looked good." There was hesitation in his voice, my heart plummeting to the bottom of my chest. I turned to him as he continued. "Except your last fear."

"They know."

Four came to sit by my bed, his hand resting on my shoulder. "No they don't. They think it was brave. No-one is suspicious in how you escaped, due to the fear itself. But you'll be watched. They'll put you under a microscope and wait for you to fail."

"So now what?"

"Now you choose."

The pit was alive and buzzing, everyone getting unceremoniously wasted and not giving a single care as each initiate passed final testing. Jayce and Adam were the two highest ranking initiates followed by Cain from the Dauntless born. I was surprised to find myself in fourth place, Katherine ranking just behind me. I was Dauntless. I however did not feel like celebrating as Four's words replayed over and over again, my eyes darting around the compound watching each and every member to see if they were watching me. I needed to leave.

Finding myself once again at the chasm, my hands were turning white as I gripped hard onto the metal railing. I smelt him. Like my imaginary son, he wore the same scent. Mint and musk.
He came to stand by me, leaning against the railing, hands behind his back, grabbing onto the metal bars.

We stood there for several minutes, just thinking and breathing. His voice woke me from my constant waking nightmare.

"Nathan huh?" I hadn't realized I was crying until his thumb gently wiped away the fallen tear, his finger lingering on my cheek. I turned into his hand, my swollen tear filled eyes looked at his.

"I still don't understand it. Or why I had him with you?"

He chuckled softly, "I don't know either, but he was very beautiful." It was the first time I heard emotion apart from anger and cynicism come from his mouth. His words were filled with light humour, his hand that rested on my cheek now came to wrap around my hand. "I've underestimated you."