Surviving High School: Cliché Cliques
Chapter 8: A Drop in the Ocean
"Soooo. Read any good books lately?"
"No, not really." I answer while still shelving books. I know CeCe's trying hard not to make this awkward but it is. Painfully so.
"Oh, well watch any good shows? I'm totally obsessed with Game of Thrones." I hum in response.
"That's nice." She sighs and tosses the book she was holding on a cart.
"Can you at least make an effort to talk to me?" I eye her as I continue to shelf books.
"I am making an effort. I'm responding aren't I?" I turn back to the shelf.
"Yeah with generic half ass responses. I never knew Rocky Blue to half ass do anything." She remarks. I clench my fists, frustrated I still let her get under my skin like this.
"You know what, there's like a hundred more books with my name on them in the fiction isle. You can finish up here right?" I walk away without an answer.
An hour later and we're still in detention. Leah hasn't stopped glaring at me the whole time.
"Hey Rocks." I smile up at Dina as I kneel to place a book in its right place.
"Hey D. What's up?"
"Nothing I just got out of volleyball practice. Need a lift?"
"I would love one but I'm not gonna be out of here for another hour." Dina smirks at me. I've been around Dina long enough to know that something irresponsible is about to come out of her mouth.
"Just ditch it. I'm sure the wonder twins can take care of the rest of this." She says gesturing to all the books on the cart behind me.
"Uh we heard that bitch." Leah said with a scoff. Dina flipped her off but kept her attention on me.
"Come on Rocky. You don't even deserve this detention." Dina put on the puppy dog look and I sighed.
"I don't want to chance it. Just go without me Dina. I'll walk."
"Rocky..."
"Seriously go." I smile at her searching gaze.
"If you change your mind, call me, kay?" I nod and smile. I stand and dust myself off before pulling Dina into a hug. "And if Queen Bitch or her sidekick mess with you, call me too." She whispers in my ear. I laugh and hum in agreement. We hold onto each other a little longer before she goes.
"Man girl has the right idea. I'm bailing. You coming Ce?" Leah asks as she picks up her purse. Please go. Please go. Please go.
"No I'll stay and cover you." Leah smiles. Damn my life.
"Thanks doll." She leans down and kisses CeCe's cheek and walks away. She glares at me and knocks down the books lying on the cart. "Oops." She smirks and flips her hair. I sigh, crouch down and start picking up the books. After a moment pale hands join mine and help me. I keep my head down and avoid eye contact as best as I can.
"Sorry about her." CeCe finally says.
"It's fine." No it's not.
"No it's not." She always had the uncanny ability to read my mind. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Look Rocky..."
"We should finish up here." I stand up quickly and so does CeCe. I try to move past her but my foot catches on the cart and I start to fall. CeCe grabs me but I throw us both off balance and she falls on top of me.
"I'm sorry." We say simultaneously. CeCe moves to get off me but pauses when we lock eyes,. My heart stops and I'm pretty sure CeCe stops breathing. Her eyes flicker down to my lips and subconsciously I lick them. CeCe closes the distance and crashes our lips together. My hand automatically tangles in red locks and she moves her left hand to cup my cheek. Kissing CeCe is like feeling rain on your skin while being stranded in the desert, like being in front of a fire on a cold winter day. She moves her head to deepen the kiss and I let out a noise I've never made.
This is my heaven. I can feel her frantic heart beat against mine. If I open my eyes I have no doubt that I could count every single freckle on her flawless face. I've never been this close to someone like this in my life. So intimate. Before Ashley I only ever had one boyfriend and we didn't do much besides light kissing. This though, this is different. It's something in the way she's cradling my face, the way she's making slow deliberate moves the way Ashley never did. Ashley was all frantic kisses and tongue. It's nice to have a slower pace.
Ashley.
I pull back when the name struck a violent chord in my head. Cece's panting but I hold my breath.
"What? What did I do wrong?" She questions while trying to meet my eyes.
"I need to get home," I reply monotonously. I slide from underneath her and book it towards the door.
"Well I-I can walk you home if you-"
"No Cece," I interrupt. I glance in her direction and see that she's wrecked from that simple answer. She stops in her tracks and I keep speeding to the door.
"I don't understand what I did this time." I freeze. Her-her voice. There's something in her voice that makes me stop. I wait a beat and shrug.
"You didn't do anything Ce-"
"Look at me," she demands. My breath hitches as my feet turns to cement. "Rocky, look at me." I swallow hard as I do as she says. She breathes heavily when my eyes meet hers.
"What am I doing wrong?" I shake my head.
"You aren't doing anything wro-"
"I have to be doing something wrong!" I take a step back at the frustration and anger in her voice. She sighs and rakes a hand through her hair. "What am I doing wrong, Rocky?" I let out a shuttering breath as tears start to form in my eyes.
"You aren't do-"
"Stop!" I close my eyes as she raises her voice making tears fall. "I know I've been shitty, Rocky, but I deserve a real answer."
"I'm giving you a real answer!"
"No you aren't! You're skating around the issue like you always do. I know you, Rocky" She closes her eyes then takes a deep breath as she places her hands on her hips and turns. "Just-what am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing!" I yell getting frustrated now.
"Bull," she hisses, turning.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Cece. You aren't doing anything wrong." My eyes drift from hers.
"Then why do you look so broken?" She asks softly. I laugh humorlessly.
"I don't know."
"Yes you do. Rocky, why?" I just shake my head and shrug, biting my lip gently. "For fuck's sake just-," she kicks over a nearby chair that makes me jump. "Why, Rocky! Why are you-"
"Because you're doing everything right!" I scream. Tears were now flowing steadily but I didn't care this needed to be said. "You know me better than anyone. You've always known me better than everyone, even myself." I breathing heavily now.
"Rocky…I-"
"And when I'm with you," I continue. "It's just like how it used to be. It feels just like how it used to be. Every time you touch me, every time you smile at me it's like we're back in your apartment watching some stupid reality show that you love and forced me to watch, but was okay because I was spending time with you." I was sobbing out the words by now.
"Okay Rocky. You don't have to keep going." But I couldn't stop. The words that I kept swallowing down were being thrown up.
"The worst part is when I start to believe that you actually care again. That we could somehow make it back to us."
"Rocky we can. We can make it back to us." She's crying now too. I shake my head as a hard sob breaks through.
"Don't you understand? I'm terrified Cece. I'm terrified that I won't be enough for you and you'll just leave," I let out a watery laugh that held no joy. "Again."
"Rocky I-that won't-I'm not going to-to leave you again."
"You don't sound so sure of yourself." She strides toward me and wraps me in her arms. I lean my head down on her shoulder.
"I-I am."
"Bull," I echo her words back to her.
"It's not bull."
"You forget that I know you too, Cece." She doesn't reply. We stood there for the rest of detention.
I avoided Cece the entire week. On the weekend she came by to visit but I snuck out my window before she came into my room. Now it's Monday and I honestly don't know how I can keep this up when we now have several classes together (due to her getting her schedule changed to be in almost every class with me) and a project we need to work on together. I think Ashley senses something's up.
"Why do you look so shaky?" Dina asks me as she sits down at the lunch table I was at.
"Big test coming up," I lie easily. I feel bad lying to Dina but I don't know how to tell her about what happened between Cece and I. What I felt that day.
"Oh come on you ace everything." I smile in gratitude. "So uh, where's your honey? You two are like Siamese twins." I laugh.
"She's in wood shop finishing her chair."
"Ah. Well not that I care but have you seen Cece today?" My heart races at just her name.
"N-no why would I have seen her?" Dina looks at me weirdly.
"Because you have like every class with her." Right. Calm down Blue. You're being paranoid. Nobody knows about the kiss and no one will ever know.
"Oh yeah. Sorry, I've been spacing out today," I chuckle.
"Maybe you should stop hitting the books so hard." I nod. "Well anyway I haven't seen her all day. I was just wonderin' cause that usually means she's up to no good." Wait. Now that I thought about, I hadn't seen Cece all day either. She's usually late but not this late.
"I'm sure she'll show up somewhere." I hope.
"Yeah I'm sure she will." Dina shrugs as she takes a bite of her sub. "So how was date night?" Dina wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I smile and force enthusiasm for the remainder of lunch.
CeCe isn't at school again today. It's nerve wracking how much I care. I've been jittery and it's definitely been noticed. Ashley has been shooting me looks all day while Dina just tries to defuse the bomb between us. There was just this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. After school I ran to CeCe's house. Well more like took two buses and walked 3 blocks since she doesn't live in the apartment building anymore. I would have asked Dina to drive me but I didn't want her asking questions. Despite everything in my body telling me to turn back I walked up to her door. My fist was about to make contact with door when a loud bang sounded.
"Frank!" I heard CeCe scream. She sounded terrified.
"God damn it, when I say I want a beer you get me one!" A man's voice hollered.
"But there aren't anymore!" CeCe is crying and something breaks. I was going to burst through the door when a man staggered through it. He blinked in surprise upon seeing me.
"Are you the Mexican's daughter?" I stuttered not exactly knowing what to say. "The maid Isabella, she your mother?"
"Uh, si señor. Isabella es mi mama." Luckily I'm at least decent in Spanish. He seems to believe me well enough because he nods.
"Here." He places five crumpled up twenty's in my hand. "Don't forget to clean the blood stains from the carpet. And I'm sure your mother has warned you to keep quiet." I nod. He reeks of alcohol and the whole time he was talking he slurred ever so slightly. He gives me a curious look before walking off. Quickly I walk in and see chaos. Glass vases and picture frames lie shattered on the floor. Sniffling came from the next room and the glass crunched under my feet as I made my way there. I saw CeCe crouched on the ground with a dust pan trying to pick up pieces of glass.
"I'm really sorry Bella. I tried to make him do more damage to me than the house-" She stops talking as she stands up and finally turns to see me. She looks horrible. Still painfully beautiful, but horrible. Her right eye is blackened her lip busted and a steady stream of blood comes from just above her eyebrow. She hastily wipes her tears. "R-Rocky what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."
"CeCe..." I trail off taking in the damage of not only the house but CeCe as well.
"No. Get out. You need to get out now." She rushes out while trying to push me through the door.
"No," I say shaking my head. "Cece-Cece no," I say turning and grabbing her hands. She's still trying to push me out the door so I pull her to me and then gently push her up against a nearby wall. "CeCe." I look into her bloodshot eyes and that's all it takes for her to break. I pull her into my chest and let her cry.
It's been at least 4 hours since I've gotten here. After CeCe's tears subsided I helped her clean the wrecked house and treat her wounds. We lie in her bed with her curled into my side. I remember the money the man stuffed in my hand and give it to her. She grabs it hesitantly as I look at her questioningly.
"Isabella is our maid. She's usually the one that helps me clean up Frank's mess and patches me up good enough to hide bruises from my mother." She absently picks at the loose thread on my sweater. I grab her hand and hold it tightly.
"Why doesn't she report him?" I ask softly.
"She's here illegally. Frank threatened to have her and her daughter Lucinda deported. He pays her extra to clean me up."
"Why don't you report him? Tell your mom." Her hand squeezes mine tighter.
"Do you remember the Grayson trial?"
"Yeah I remember." I nod. The Grayson trial was the biggest case in Chicago since the mass park shooting in 2009. Before he could be transported to his hearing someone came to his house and murdered him.
"My mom covered up for her partner, Officer Luke, who killed the man. When she told me I couldn't believe it. But when she told me what Mr. Grayson had done to those children, what he did to Mr. Luke's daughter...I thought he deserved to die as much as my mom's partner did. Frank found their emails to each other. He printed them out and showed them to me. He said if I didn't keep my mouth shut then he'd send my mom away for a long time." My grip on her tightens.
"He isn't going to hurt you again CeCe."
"You can't stop him. No one can." My heart stings at how convinced she sounds.
"He isn't going to hurt you again." I repeat and kiss the top of her head.
I make CeCe sleep at my house this whole week. There's this constant fear in her eyes and I want nothing more than to take it away. I haven't talked to Ashley since my discovery of CeCe's- abuse. It feels sour when I say that. Abuse.
"Cece are you stayin for dinner again, sweetheart?" My mom asks as she comes in my room, where we were studying on my bed, smiling. The Blue household has been…happy since she's been here. Everyone's less angry and sad. Even Ty, who now willingly drives me all the way to school, seems better.
"Uh I don't know actu-"
"Yes she's staying," I interrupt. My mom nods and smiles before she leaves.
"Rocks I can't stay here forever," she murmurs. I sigh.
"I know. I know." I push my books aside and lay back to look at my ceiling. I feel the bed shift as Cece lies beside me.
"I'll be okay, Rocky," she whispers in my ear. I choke down my tears.
"And if you're not?" She pauses a moment.
"Then I'll call you." I turn to look at her. She is…radiant. I can't help myself as I connect our lips sighing happily as she tangles her fingers in my hair.
A/N: Whooooooo it has been awhile and I'm soooooooo sorry! I honestly just lost interest in this story but thanks to reviews and messages I found the motivation to continue! So thank all of my faithful readers. I'll try to have the next chapter out much sooner and it will be much much longer. Toodles!