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Chapter Eight: One Day of Serenity

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'Would you say that…you eat like a pig?'

'Do I even want to know what brought that question about?'

'Demo, its just I want to see how much of us is similar…I always seem so hungry, most of the times…I never get really full, no matter how much I eat…'

'…Well, I – we used to love rice cakes…But, no…I am afraid I do not recall eating too much. My appetite had always been very poor.'

'Really? Hmnnn, well, never mind then.'

'There should be an explanation, though. Mother always said my body is connected to the land I serve. It should be the same to you.' (A/N: I have an upcoming story explaining this more. But I gotta finish this and one more before I start posting that one.)

'Yeah, guess so. Uhm, you look worried, by the way.'

'It is just that you are becoming stronger again; more dominant in your physical form now than I am. My control is waning…I feel that I am slipping back. Also, some recollections of your past is starting to get remembered. It is very hard, you see, to stay and be you, when there are more of you there than me…'

'I'm sorry. I don't mean it, honest. I'm really very willing for you to have one more day of being alive… I guess, I'm more assertive than I thought, though. Were you like that as well?'

'No. We- me, I was never vocal of my wishes. It was improper and rude to be so. The people, they always came first…Which is why most people claim it was…my fault when it happened…'

''kay…No need to go there. So you don't talk back, but you are pretty conniving. Are you stubborn? I'm sorta stubborn…'

'I noticed. Why else would you fight with your beloved rather than acknowledge your feelings? Stubborn…is a good thing. People have so varied opinions of you; you are smothered with needing to please them… You should know it was not just me talking back to Rei there. I supplied the words, but you gave the courage…'

'We really are that different? I thought that, well…I'm you and you're me, ya know?'

'It is very hard to explain. I am you, the memories that compromised you back when we lived a long time ago. We can liken it to a tree, if you will; grown and nurtured. When it was cut down, the trunk was taken and shaped to be something else entirely. It is still the same tree, but it no more represents that tree, for it has become something of different use and form. Does that make sense?'

'Lemme see, I have everything that used to be you, but because I was reborn, I am more than you? That if done right, I could have grown exactly as me-us- again…but since I wasn't, well…'

'Hai…You more or less have gotten the point.'

'Oh…Well, ehem. Uh…Does this mean…You wouldn't know anything 'bout fighting? Like youmas or what nots''

'Err, would you define…fighting? There are many forms…you know. The one in the temple was fighting, right? I think I pretty well on that one. Our physical body did not even get punched…too much.'

'Good grief…'

'…I am not completely with out knowledge…But, I was never really trained for hand to hand combat…'

'…The girls are gonna chew as and spit us out…And Nephrite…Oh, my.'

'Huh?'

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Ami and Luna stared hard at Usagi. Luna's face was a study of conflict, or as close to conflict that a cat's face could become. The two wanted so badly that Usagi would get the necessary know how if- when - they meet up with Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mars. Or even just the barest recollection of what went on during this encounters. It didn't even matter if Usagi recollected how she really fought. Something, anything, would be welcomed.

But the clueless look on Usagi's face just kept getting worse as Luna valiantly tried her best to summarize everything about the Sailor Senshi and more important, Sailor Moon.

To all this, Usagi's only reaction was an occasional, "Wow." Or "I do what?!?" and the classic, "Don't I get scared?"

When Luna heard that one, she got a crafty look on her face and proceeded to tell the blonde that she was fearless. Ami almost groaned, but Luna's claw started a casual grazing on her left leg. The warning was loud and clear; 'Shut up or have your leg shredded.'

Luna can be as scary as Rei sometimes, when she wanted to get her way.

Usagi lapped it all in. Sometimes, she would look at Ami for assurance. To which the pressure of the claws deepen, maybe even breaking skin. Ami was of mind to kick Luna from the balcony, but they needed Sailor Moon to fight with them, so she merely smiled, encouraging Usagi to believe everything that was told to her.

The genius sighed. First, she was caught in a brawl with her three best friends, and now she was outright lying to the very first person she ever called as friend…maybe even her best of best friends. This day just couldn't get anymore morally complicated.

"I…kill them? Those youmas?" Usagi's soft voice had an unsure quality to it. "Just me?"

The cat stopped talking then. Surprised, she gave the young girl a look of bewilderment, before replying, "It is the only way. Besides, they are just monsters. If you do not exterminate them, much innocent lives are killed. You are leader, you know."

It was the first time that Ami heard Usagi voice this out, though. Her gaze sharpened and she furrowed her brows. Her own power as Sailor Mercury was defensive at most. Certainly, she was never the one to give the receiving end of a deadly attack. 'What does it feel like, knowing your attack is capable of killing the enemy…That it is your only purpose for attacking at all?' she thought. How did Usagi cope with that? The girl couldn't even hurt a pesky mosquito on any given day, yet as Sailor Moon…

She decided to give the smaller girl her reassurance. "Demo, Usagi, no need to worry. I've scanned them. Their just controlled energies. Not true life forms." They weren't of course. But they needed to get to the bath house fast. 'Later, when everything is back to normal, I'll talk to Usagi and ask how she feels…'

Her words had the desired effect. Usagi gave them a brittle smile and asked if they should get going. Luna and Ami subtly gave each other a questioning look and proceeded to run with their leader in to the cold night. Both were admittedly impressed with Usagi's want to help, even if she went to battle blind and groping in the dark. It placed Luna in deja vu, back when Usagi was the lone Senshi, and every fight was like a call of death. Usagi complained loudly every time, yet she always fought.

The cat sighed happily. This black outs of Usagi might be a good thing, after all. She could start with Usagi again, but this time, she would impose the child to be better, without having to wrestle with Usagi's natural distaste for fighting.

Ami, however, kept her eyes open, just in case another unexpected revelation came out of the blonde. Her blue-eyed friend was buckets full of interesting details today…so much more than the happy go lucky child everyone had pegged her to be. Including her.

'Usagi is more stronger than I am,' Ami mused, trying to keep up as the girl fairly flew toward their destination- untransformed. 'I never realized what it cost for her to smile back guilelessly every time…If she lies to herself on a daily basis, just to keep herself from drowning in guilt…' Her own blue eyes turned disquiet as these thoughts drifted in and out, shaming her for her previous assumptions.

'My life as Sailor Mercury was a God send…For a few minutes; I am more than just the smart girl that knows all the answers. The pressures of being the best in my academics always seem trivial when faced with an attacking youma…When protecting lives of people who would have otherwise merely typecast me.' She thought as they ran on, Usagi's pigtails flying ahead of her. 'As a Sailor Warrior, my importance is greater than dreaming to being the highest test scorer.'

'But Usagi never needed that extra boost of self worth…She had always been happy with her life. Pleased with what had been offered to her.' Ami was not aware for the tears that she was now crying for her friend. 'She never wanted to be more…Being her had always been enough…'

But Luna saw the tears, and chose to ignore it. Her own thoughts mirrored the blue haired girl's own, if with a little less sympathy. 'Forgive me, Usa. By becoming Sailor Moon…You just became aware of how limited you really are. How so much less than what was expected…And no one, not even me, told you otherwise…'

The cat's eye hardened. 'I do care for you. But I have a responsibility to find the princess. She must be found, and she must be protected at all cost. Because when I do find her, I have a feeling she will be as you are…Hating her new destiny, but duty bound to fulfill it…'

They ran on, two girls and a black cat, the fog swirling around them. All three lost in their own sadness and doubts.

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'Pursue not the outer entanglements, dwell not in the inner void; be serene in the oneness of things, and dualism vanishes by itself.'

'That was beautiful…You favor poetry, too?'

'Hai…Some of them, that is. One of the few things that make sense to me is poems and paintings. That one was by Seng-t'san. I never really bother to understand them, per se…Like Ami-chan would do. But when I hear or see something that feels right, I just figure it means that's it. It makes sense, it's beautiful. Life goes on. Why go to the trouble analyzing?'

'Our old tutors would detest having you for a student. They try to instill how one must know the law of everything…It always frustrate them when I counter with magical laws. There are no answers for that…or even the purpose of life…'

'Yeah? Haruna-sensei always tells me how I get by, she will never know. Thing is, I always feel people bother too much knowing about things. It makes people so much less content with what is already there, ya know. Which is why I like children so much. They seem to ask the most stupidest questions…but their eyes are more open and accepting than dumb adults.'

'All my thoughts were mere reflections of my teachers…'

'And mine…is all my own. Maybe I should think like others, to make me more…mature.'

'Don't, please don't. It is always better to be a child open to possibilities, than a wise man limiting yourself to the possible.'

'Guess so…Uhm. Look, you sure you can do this? Maybe it'll be better if you let me pilot for a while. Not a complete take over, just enough to have a clue what comes next, you know?'

'You do that, and I must bid farewell…Besides, it is not that I am afraid…I am a little of curious about this. And not a little bit excited, as well.'

'Oh, geez. Look, this is a very serious thing. You might not like the outcome. Err; it's really not the type you want to mess around.'

'It cannot be that hard, right? After all, you seem to be fine…'

'Oh for the love of- You really wanna try this, huh?'

'…If you will let me, yes…I would like to see how I would fight.'

'Why? You look serious. Its more than just a thrill ride, from the looks of it,'

'…Last time…All I did was cry and cower. If I had been braver…If I had tried just even a little bit…'

'We're talking but Endymion again, huh?'

'Yes.'

'…Just- just don't let the others get hurt, okay? And, look, I'm sorry…but, well, there is more to life than memories. Regretting what have been done just isn't worth it, if you lose those who may help you forge more things to cherish in the future. Plus, I'd really like to stay alive long enough to ask questions to Mamoru.'

'Arigatou…'

'Don't… Not just yet. If I get a feeling things are going down hill…You'll have to go back. I can't risk my friends, just so I-or you, or whoever of us, just to feel…vindicated.'

'You know…I wonder, if I have been as you are now…if things would have turned out differently before.'

'Who knows? I certainly don't…Its bad, dwelling on what could have been. Not very healthy, most definitely pointless. Just do your best, 'kay? That's what I do, anyway. Not that the girls and Luna seem to think I do, but just give it your best shot. Forget the past…I certainly did. Maybe that's our clue. Let go of the past, and start all over… And please, by all that is chocolaty, try your best not to get youmanized.'

'Youmanized?'

''Nough talk. Just concentrate!'

'Hai!'

'Right…Err- Oh, shoot! What is it that I say when I transform? Bloody hell! You wiped it out, too?!?'

'Ooops…err, gomen…'

'You have got to be frigging kidding me! Just how much did you wiped out?!'

'Some more than others…gomen nasai…'

'AAARRGGHHH!!!!!'

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Motoki stared at the man sitting by the counter. It was not an unusual sight, since Mamoru has taken a habit of coming here after his self-imposed exile from the library. A sort of cooling off period, before he went home to his apartment, and then, later, to his work at the hospital as a nursing aide…Or rather, would have gone to work, save that he had to quit-due to unexplained absences and long period of break times while on duty.

Now, he more or less depended on modeling jobs and the occasional sideline business of tutoring. At nineteen, Mamoru had his whole day laid out and planned.

At nineteen, Mamoru was on his way to building his retirement plan.

Motoki himself would never wish that sort of life for his worst enemy. That his best friend seemed to thrive in such an environment was beyond him. It was an ongoing debate that would never be settled because Mamoru insisted on how harmonious it was, and Motoki just gagged at the idea of so boring and sedate a lifestyle.

A curious mixture was Chiba and Furuhata. But more curious was that their friendship actually worked. No one would have predicted six years ago that the tentative friendship formed over a fistfight would bond into what they have now. As it was, Motoki knew more details about Mamoru's lonely life than anyone else in this world put together.

But even Mamoru would have honestly said that it was due more to Motoki's effort than his own. The sandy haired man others knew as the man behind the counter of the Crown Arcade was an optimistic bastard.

'Unlike Mamoru,' thought Motoki, his blue eyes sharp as it rested on his friend. Now was not the time for fun and games. He was not all jokes and teasing remarks. If that was the case- fun or not- Mamoru would have booted him out of his life a long time ago. Motoki could be serious when the occasion demanded it.

Now was a good time to be serious. His raven- haired bosoms buddy had came looking not for the usual cup of hot coffee, but actually demanded a cold bottle of beer. Any smart comment flew out of Motoki's mind after that. Mamoru was not the sort to drown out his problems with alcohol.

How to handle the situation…was more the problem. And he knew for a fact that it was most definitely about a girl. One with antique gold for hair and angel blue eyes. Motoki was fairly sure Mamoru would rather be driven over by an army tank than admit it, though. This made the problem really hard to deal with.

Talks about Usagi and Mamoru's penchant to irritate her had been easy enough in the beggining. True, his best friend seemed hastier to try to change the subject when Motoki would brooch it but that was understandable. Mamoru, as a rule, hated topics involving the female sex. It was all he could do to stay away from their clutches; he refused to spend anymore of his precious time even talking about them.

Nevertheless, talks about Usagi did continue. So subtly did Mamoru twisted the conversation that in a matter of a week, Motoki was unaware that he was being maneuvered to find out nearly everything about Usagi. He almost didn't caught it until his girlfriend Reika backhanded him one dinner date later.

Apparently, he had been talking and was informing his girlfriend details about the girl. Reika in her jealousy had asked if this Usagi was so special to warrant such close attention.

That placed Motoki in a very interesting perspective. Thinking it over, he realized he had gotten all this neat statistics due to his best friend's sly questionings, which he transferred to Usagi via their afternoon brotherly talk. At night, he and Mamoru would have a conversation and he would unwittingly spill all he knew.

He had pounced on Mamoru after that. Demanding his intentions about Usagi, and how long had this infatuation to a middle school student been going on. When Mamoru turned beet red, Motoki became relentless. Unfortunately, the more he wanted to know, the more Mamoru stayed quiet. These days, Usagi and how Mamoru felt for her was a topic best not breeched.

Still he felt he owe it to his best friend to try. And he really just couldn't help his curiosity. It would kill him one of these days, his being curious, but today would not be that day…At least, that's what he was hoping. Usagi's three friends had been hopping mad when they looked into the girl only to find her gone from the back room. A maintenance crew had squeaked to a furious Makoto and an even more furious Rei that he saw Mamoru carrying his arch nemesis away from the arcade. Motoki almost started choking from the croissant he had been eating when he heard that.

"What happened?" Motoki asked his voice quiet. There were a few people still inside, so he wanted to make sure no one eardrop. "Look, it'll be easier if you tell me the problem. This way I can help."

Mamoru propped his elbows on the counter. His voice was wooden, his grin dead as he supplied the answers. "The problem, is one little girl is turning my life upside down." His hands went to his temples, giving it a gentle rub. "She's fourteen, and most likely has no clue what she thinks is, what she claims, as love." Mamoru's eyes were hooded, expressionless.

In his mind, he gave Usagi a salute. The blonde had won not just the battle today. She pretty much took the war as well.

He could feel his jaw clenching and he forced himself to relax. Usagi was as conniving as any female he knew and then some. The little witch had more or less used every known wile just to score victory. She even pulled out the 'I love you' card.

Regardless of how she almost jumped out of the car after the kiss, her response during the kiss had been very ardent. He almost ignited the car again, ready to take Usagi back to his apartment, then her eyes had opened, and behind the passion-clouded gaze, fear had leaped in. He had never felt so hurt when she backed away. It had cut deep in his heart, and he had felt it physically.

He was damned, however, if he was going to let her get away with it. Mamoru had a few hours to compose himself and he realized he played her game the way she wanted it. Like a puppet with all his strings in her soft baby hands. And all at fourteen.

His mind played with very dangerous thoughts. 'Who's been teaching her?' Mamoru's hands tightened around the beer bottle. White-hot jealousy poured through him, like a fire licking his skin. Trying to get under it.

It wasn't a big leap of the imagination. These days, even elementary students took casual liberty with the whole boyfriend, girlfriend thing. And Usagi, for all her innocent baby blues was a very attractive young woman. 'Scratch that,' his mind screamed. 'I thought we've agreed that the little brat is a goddess incarnate.'

'That doesn't mean she might have a beau.' Mamoru refused to admit how desperate he clung to that thought. Usagi was his. Right from the start. And game or not, she had more or less allowed their afternoon spats into the realm of more…mature form of entertainment.

'Well, that wasn't to hard at all,' mused Motoki, unaware of his friend's own musings. 'It must be more serious than I thought.'

"Yeah? Why, she said anything?" he tried again, hoping his quieter friend would provide a more detailed reply.

A snort from the man in front of him was his answer.

Motoki felt his usual good humor creeping, but he bit it back down hard. Mamoru need sympathy now. "That's no answer, bud."

Mamoru dragged his thoughts away from what happened at the park, and then inside his car. "There is a limit to self-control, Motoki. I've just about reached mine. I'm this close," his two fingers formed in a semi circle, almost connecting by a hairline or two, "to just taking that young body of hers and show her why messing with a nineteen years old, who owns his own place, is not a good thing."

It wasn't the sort of thing he would have openly admitted. But Mamoru's frustration had been ignited by Usagi's kiss. A kiss no fourteen years old have a right to know how to respond to. The promise laced with that kiss was like a trial to his self-control. One he had obviously lost.

This information was not to his best friend's liking.

"Well. Just so you know, Baka," Motoki said, in a warning tone of voice, "I happen to think of Usagi as a younger sister. Just in case, it slipped your mind." He emphasized.

Midnight blue eyes darkened and dark brow lifted in question. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"

Motoki started to shake his head. "The one who doesn't require me to break the law, dufus." Mamoru merely shrugged. Motoki frowned himself and decided to reemphasize his point. "She is fourteen. Last time I look, child molestation still makes you candidate for ten years in jail, moron."

"At the state I'm in, I really couldn't care less."

Furuhata has had enough. "Look, get your mind of the gutter, Chiba. I don't care how much money I'm getting from you and Usagi's afternoon spats, she's a child! SHE IS FOURTEEN! And I'll be damn if I'll be an accessory to statuary rape! Gah! You and the blonde is gonna drive me mad!"

His best friend offered him a toast with his bottle of beer. "Welcome to my world, Toki," he said in a dry drawl.

'Hot damn!' Motoki was almost impressed. 'It has finally happened. The cool collected bastard has finally snapped!' His blue eyes became troubled. 'And Usagi is causing it…Shit, that can't be a good thing.'

He had never really seen Mamoru really lose it, but judging from the way his friend 'passionately' put attention to his mundane life, it would be safe to assume he would put the same passion in fulfilling his pent up feelings for the blonde. 'Uh-oh…'

Motoki was about to really push his reasoning home by punching Mamoru until any indecent thought was gone from his 'legal' mind, but his taller friend stood up abruptly.

Concern replaced his irritation and he offered a hand of support. Mamoru was swaying on his feet.

"Hey, you okay? Better lay off the beer…I think you should stick to coffee in the future."

Mamoru waved Motoki's concern away. He knew what was happening.

Sailor Moon had appeared somewhere, ready to fight another youma.

It's the only explanation that made him feel like this. He could not see, could not breathe. He was having trouble keeping his balance, and he always wondered how he always survived the pain of the Moon Warrior's call. On his cynical moments, he wondered why it should even be painful at all. Lately, since the search for the rainbow crystals has started, the link between them has intensified making the pain great enough to leave him passing in and out of consciousness for a few minutes.

'Or maybe it's just because you are starting to care a little too much,' his inner demon said with a sly whisper. 'Then, what do we do about our lovely middle school angel, Tsukino Usagi, hmnnn? Maybe, after the fight, you can borrow the child from her room and ask Sailor Moon to accompany you two to your apartment. '

Mamoru's scowl became dangerous. So much so even Motoki backed a few paces.

"Gotta go, Motoki. Ja ne." He didn't wait for his friend's answer. He stumbled out; sure his friend won't follow because there was no one else to man the arcade at the moment.

As he collapsed between a dark alley, his transformation taking place, his laughter rang out in desperate abandon. Of all nights for the blonde heroine to ask for his help, it just had to be the day when everything about his life was turned helter skelter.

'Better follow the routine, babe. Or you will most definitely get the receiving end of what should have been meant for the Odango,' his grim thought was directed toward Sailor Moon, hoping their link was strong enough to give the silent message to her. 'Not that you haven't earned a few of your own. Between you and Usagi, it's no wonder I've yet to become some sort of pervert.'

He ignored once again his inner voice that told him he was now long past to worry about that. Perverted thoughts were the least of his problems. Keeping himself from acting them out…was something that require instant attention. Or rather, not to give it attention.

Tuxedo Mask stood a few minutes, his dark eyes hidden behind his mask, his lips set in a straight uncompromising line. The shadows of the alley hid him well, and for once, the moon's soft glow seemed reluctant to shine on him.