4
Sun admitted that when Nguyen promised to blow her mind with dinner she didn't think he meant literally.
Dinner had been a fairly flamboyant affair. They had started with an appetiser of deep-fried frog legs. They had moved on to first course; soup: black duckchick soup, decoratively garnished with feathers and skin. Second course had truly been extravagant. Nguyen squirmed with excitement and watched her face carefully as the meal was wheeled in. A large cockhog, basted and golden, stared at her. Its back had been opened and swimming inside it was an offal congee. Spectacular. Sun had never seen anything like it. She wasn't sure if this kind of thing was Nguyen's true style or if he was cooking like this to try and impress her. Either way, really, it had worked.
But the real kicker, dessert, had been served. Sun did not have a 'sweet tooth'. Incisors, canines and molars, yes, but nothing about her could be described as even verging on 'sweet'. Still, how could she pass up on eating a giant jelly shaped as her head?
"I wish I had more time to prepare it," Nguyen stated with obvious false modesty. "I mean, I could have done so much more to bring out all your features."
"It's amazing," Sun said. The colours of the jelly and glutinous rice were vibrant and happy; pinks, greens, yellows and quite a bit of blue. The dessert had picked up her features with surprising detail. "How did you manage such a likeness of me in such a short time? We only just met this morning."
Nguyen shrugged and looked embarrassed. "I admit I've been watching you since you arrived at the palace."
Sun raised an eyebrow.
"You captured my attention completely," Nguyen continued. "I wondered how a buffoon like Park managed to keep you all to himself."
"Keep me?" Sun replied. "No one 'keeps' me, Nguyen."
Nguyen spread his hands, placating. "Of course."
Sun held his eye for a moment longer before picking up her spoon and gouging out her dessert eye. She popped the gelatinous rice eyeball into her mouth and chewed.
"Well?" Nguyen inquired.
"The texture is wonderful," Sun answered with genuine appreciation. "I never knew I tasted so delicious."
Nguyen gave a little laugh. "You sound surprised. You don't become Culinary Head without knowing a thing or two about texture."
"Well, perhaps my opinion of you was a little undercooked," Sun replied, straight-faced.
Nguyen gave a wide smile and watched her eat.
"You won't have some of me?" Sun asked, gesturing with her spoon at her one-eyed dessert face.
"I never eat my works of art," Nguyen said. "And you, Sun, are nothing less than that."
Sun cut off her sticky rice nose and found that it did indeed spite her face. "I'm flattered."
"Oh, you deserve so much more than flattery, Sun," Nguyen continued. "And certainly more than those boys can offer you."
Sun felt a shiver of annoyance, swallowed and said, "'Keep', 'deserve'; you make it sound as if I'm incapable of decision-making."
"I meant no disrespect," Nguyen replied smoothly. "I'm simply saying your talents could be applied to better use than whatever Park can offer."
"And where should I apply them, then, Nguyen?" Sun responded with honey-toned irritation.
Nguyen leaned back in his chair and spread his hands. "Why, with me of course."
"She rocked me like the earth and rolled me like a stone!"
Kim screwed up his face and rubbed his brow. "Park! Will you shut up!"
He bent back over the sedated skunkbear, an unsteady scalpel in hand. "I'm trying to work."
There was a crash behind him and Kim turned his head quickly. Park stumbled into the room, holding a bottle by the neck. "Boulderdash, Kim; what on Earth do you think you're doing?"
"I'm trying to save our lives, idiot."
Park sidled up and wrapped an arm around him. Kim gagged. "Your breath smells like a distillery."
Park only looked intently at Kim's hesitating hands. "You're holding the scalpel wrong."
Kim unconsciously adjusted his grip before realising what he was doing; taking surgical advice from a drunk.
"Will you go away, please?" he hissed.
"Sure, buddy," Park said, giving Kim's shoulder a squeeze and pulling away.
Kim turned back to the 'bear's shaved abdomen, the one he planned to cut open. He swallowed down his nausea. This was not just to save their lives, he told himself. This was for science.
"Incidentally," Park bellowed, making Kim jump, "how much sedative did you give the 'bear?"
Kim huffed. "I gave it four ampoules, thank you very much."
Park choked audibly. "Four? It needs at least eight!"
Kim screwed his face up in agitation. "Well, I can't give it eight, can I, because of the foetus!"
Kim pressed the scalpel into the 'bear when a sudden weight tackled him.
"What are you doing, you imbecile?" Kim yelled.
"Imbecile?!" Park shouted. "Stones and scree, Kim, why are you cutting up one of the mothers?!"
A very poor and drunk attempt at biffo ensued as both men tried to hold the scalpel.
"Because," Kim said attempting to push Park's head away much the same way a panthercat would push away from an embrace, "in case you've forgotten, the King's birth is in six weeks. And I do not. Want. To die!"
Kim abandoned his attempted push and sucker-jabbed Park in the ribs. His friend doubled over and the 'fight' was won.
"Ha!" Kim triumphantly held the scalpel above his head.
Park was still bent over, his hands on his knees. Every now and then he would retch.
"Park?" Kim called. "Park, I didn't hurt you, did I?" The idea of actually physically harming someone was even beyond Kim's expectations.
Park mumbled something between dry-heaves. Kim rolled his eyes a little and stepped closer. "You say something, Park?"
"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO DIE EITHER!"
Park pulled his head up and wiped his eyes. But the tears fell again and he gave a rueful laugh. "I killed us, Kim. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take the blame and you won't have to worry about a single thing."
"Oh, Park," Kim said, coming over and helping his friend up, "the only thing more pathetic than a drunk is a sad one."
"You're too good to me, Kim. I treat you so terribly and you take it in your stride."
"I know all this already. And you honestly think I'm going to let you take all the credit for this catastrophe? Please, what are friends for?"
"Oh, Kim!" Park wailed. He then attempted to kiss his friend, which didn't end well.
"Wait, shut up!" Kim said, pushing Park away. "Listen!"
Park blinked and cocked his head. "I don't hear anything…. Wait."
He pointed his nose to the air and sniffed. "Do you smell that?"
"Smells like…refuse," Kim said turning to Park.
"And road kill," Park finished, turning to Kim.
"The Scullery Twins."
Sun let out a tinkling laugh, the chimes shattering the composure of Nguyen's face.
"Did I say something funny?"
"Just a little," Sun giggled.
Nguyen's finger circled the rim of his glass. "Really? I love to know what it was."
There was, as always in these situations, two ways the conversation could go.
"Nguyen, I do like you."
"Yes?"
"And you're truly a wonderful cook."
"Culinary Head."
"Sorry?"
"I'm not a cook, Sun. Cooks are grandmothers in kitchens and the little girls tied to their apron strings."
A ghost of a wind blew through the room. Sun exhaled slowly and it was as if the temperature dropped.
"I'm a man," Nguyen explained, "and I cook for the Emperor of Ba Sing Se. I'm the Culinary Head."
And suddenly it became very clear to Sun exactly how the conversation would pan out.
Kim grabbed Park's arm and yanked to the floor before the man could storm off into the next room.
"Where are you going?" He whispered fiercely.
"To get rid of the Twins," Park said with all the confidence of a drunk.
"Are you suicidal?" Kim exclaimed.
There was a crash in the room beyond.
"D'you hear them?" Park clamoured. "They're breaking our things!"
"Better than breaking our bones!"
The sound of a draw slammed heavily and it was followed by angry yells.
"Ah, scree! I don't even know what half this stuff means."
"Let's see…. Nah, that's Kim's scrawl. Probably more cosmic boulderdash. Chuck it."
Almost before he knew it, Kim stood up and charged for the door. He was yanked backwards and a hand pressed against his mouth.
"Are you suicidal?!" Park whispered.
"Found somethin'!" one of the Twins cried. "What do suppose that is?"
"Is that…an animal?"
"Did you know," Sun began slowly, "that before I moved to the Earth Kingdom I lived in the Northern Water Tribe?"
Nguyen gave a confused smile and shrugged.
"Yes, of course you know," Sun answered for him. "Anyway, after returning to my country of birth I quickly discovered that there's not a lot separating the two countries."
She smiled at Nguyen, showing teeth. "That is, when it comes to women of exception.
"You see," she leaned back in her chair now, "the men are all the same. You're all so…insecure. "
Nguyen had long since lost his smile. Sun nodded her head in satisfaction. "Oh, you can be charming, sure. But it's been my experience that men can never quite get rid of their condescension."
She sat up straight now, serious as the Plague. "So why don't you drop this pretence, Culinary Head Nguyen, and skip to the end."
Nguyen's face was bland as he eventually shrugged. "The problem with those tribal savages is that they give their women far too much leniency. "
"Yes, that must be it," Sun sneered.
"You see that," Nguyen pointed at her, "that lip? I could have your tongue cut out for that. 'Women of excellence'? 'insecurities'?" He laughed. "Don't be absurd. You're not half the Animalist I am."
Sun pulled an amused grin. "And how do you figure that?"
"Oh, you have technical skill; I'm not denying that, Sun. But I am adored." His eyes shone brightly with inflated ego. "People clamour for my creations. I have the Emperor in the cup of my rice bowl."
Sun snorted. "And you think I care?"
"Of course you do. People fear you, Sun," Nguyen explained. "You can have all the skill in the world, but without an audience bask in it what's the point? I can offer you greatness, Sun. Power and Glory. I can make people love you."
Kim exchanged worried looks with Park. "They have our notes."
"We've got to get it back, Kim." Fear seemed to have sobered Park up nicely. "Those two morons won't know what they're reading but Nguyen could destroy us if he read that."
"What do you suggest?" Kim's whisper was more like a squeal. "Are for it back nicely?"
Park slapped him across the face. "This is no time for hysterics!"
"You're the leader!" Kim accused as he rubbed his cheek. "So lead!"
Park met Kim's eyes and nodded gravely. "So I am."
Kim gave an exasperated sigh. "Got a plan?"
His friend glanced around the lab, raised his brow and smiled. "I believe I do."
"What do you need?"
Park turned back to him. "You remember where you put Sun's heart? From this morning?"
Kim grimaced. "Yes. Why?"
Park stood and began to scoot through the lab. "Grab it and take it into the study with you."
"The study?" Kim squawked. "Why am I going in there?"
Park turned his head back quickly, his eyes bright with excitement. "Distract them!"
"And the catch?" Sun asked.
Nguyen gave a slick grin, as if the hook was in her mouth. "Tell me everything you and Park were working on together."
"Why?"
"So I can beat him, of course," Nguyen answered. "So I can destroy him and that idiot friend of his."
Sun frowned. "Rivalry? Is that all this is?"
"It's more than simple rivalry, Sun," Nguyen said with disbelief. "Though, I wouldn't expect a woman to understand."
That was it. Sun stood wearily and rubbed her brow. "I've had enough of this. Thank you for the meal but I'll be going now."
Nguyen stood suddenly in surprise. "My offer, Sun? Will you take it?"
She stared at him incredulously. "You must be joking. No."
She left him as a small figure in a large banquet hall, her dessert face half-eaten.
Kim trembled and involuntarily squeezed the heart in his hand. Muscle gave way a little beneath his grip and blood ran rivulets along his fist. He started, almost dropped the organ, juggled it a little, before getting it fist again. He swallowed, gave his head a shake and burst dramatically through the door.
The Scullery Twins turned surprised faces toward him.
"That," Kim said, pointing with his free hand to the papers the Twins held between them, "is mine. Hand it over, you sad sacks of scat, or you'll regret it."
There was a look of absolute dumbfound shock on the Twins' faces.
"Are you deaf as well as ugly?" Kim asked shrilly. "Hand. Over. The notes."
"Do you just hear what I just heard, brother?" The one on the right inquired.
"I think I did, brother," the one on the left answered. "Sifu Smartypants just insulted us."
"Are you sure that's wise, Sifu?" Twin One asked. "There's no girly here to save you this time."
"I'm…" Kim swallowed again, his breath catching in his throat. "I'm not afraid of you."
A bald lie, if ever there was one.
"Then your head's not on straight," Twin Two said. "Let's see if we can't fix that for you."
They came for him with slow menace. Kim backed away but there was nowhere to run. The lab door – a dead end – bumped into him.
"Oh, boulderdash," Kim swore.
The Twins reached for him. Kim acted on some kind of primal instinct, closed his eyes and threw his arms out. There was a loud splat!
Kim opened his eyes.
One of the Twins had blood splashed across his face; he blinked stupidly. The other picked the heart off the ground.
"What the scree is that?"
The door opened behind Kim and he was yanked backwards. Park put a hand over his friend's mouth and pointed to the lab interior. Kim's eyes almost popped out of his head.
"What the scree is that?!" The Twins repeated.
A two hundred kilo, almost seven foot long animal shook her sleepy head. She raised her snout to the air and sniffed. It's highly sensitive nose picked up on the scent of refuse and road kill. The animal took in the sight of the Twins spattered with blood and the fresh meat in their hands. It growled and the sound reverberated to the core of Kim.
"It's a 'bear, you twats!" Park declared.
The animal roared; a sound to tear a man's courage to pieces. Almost in synchronisation the Twins screamed and fled. The Skunkbear charged after them.
Kim and Park gripped each other in terror and stared after the retreating party in numb silence.
Suddenly Park grabbed Kim's head and kissed him on the brow, laughing. "I have never been so thankful for your mistakes in all my life! Boulderdash, if you hadn't under-sedated that skunkbear…"
"Yes, alright! Get off!" Kim pushed him away and wiped his forehead. But he found himself laughing too. Dear Spirits, it sounded like hysteria but he could care.
There was a quiet knock at the door.
Sharing a worried look, Kim and Park entered the study again. For the second time that night Kim's eyes almost fell out of his head.
"Sun?" Park squeaked.
"Did I just see a Skunkbear chasing Truong and Luong down the palace corridors?"
Park gave an uncertain laugh. "Are you here for something, Sun?"
"I was coming to get my things." She entered the study and paused, examining the rifled tables and flung out drawers.
"You were right, Park," she said finally. "It was about you and not me."
"I'm sorry, Sun," Park replied.
Sun gave an unconcerned shrug. "I'll be out in a minute."
"You deserve better!" Park said quickly.
Sun looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. "Let me guess: power and glory?"
"Respect," Park said. He bowed his head in shame. "I acted like a louse. You're…"
He went to his knees. Kim gaped at him before awkwardly joining him on the floor.
"You're the greatest scientist I've ever met," Park said quietly. "Kim and I literally can't live without you. Please, don't go."
Sun looked at them both sternly for a minute. "Oh, get off the floor, you imbeciles."
"You'll help?" The hope shone bright in Park's face.
Sun sighed dramatically. "Yes. I'll help."
Park gave a cry of triumph and ran over to embrace her. Sun shot out her arm. "Don't touch me."
Kim's friend backed away carefully. Kim looked over at her and frowned. "Not to push my luck, Sun, but why?"
Sun regarded them both. "Because unlike a certain someone, you and Park may not be the hopeless causes you make out to be."
She strode out of the room, no more said. Park looked over at Kim, grinning. Kim tried to hold the smile off his face and failed. They hugged each other like the mad fools that they were.
"So," Nguyen mused as he read the notes. "This is what they're working on?"
"As far as we can tell, boss," Luong said. He sported a bloody gash across his eye.
"They were real interested in getting this stuff off of us," Truong, who looked like he'd lost a fight with a brick wall, continued.
Nguyen examined the diagram on the page before him; an animal of some sort. He smiled.
"Interesting."