Chapter Two:
Everywhere I go
I stared at my reflection. Raising the blade to my eye level, I looked at it then back at my reflection. Grabbing a piece of my hair in between my fingers, I closed my eyes, placing the blade to my hair, hearing the sharp metal cut through my dark brown hair. I opened my eyes, letting out a long sigh. Repeating my previous movements through the rest of my hair. Finished, I checked the length of my hair. Turning my head from side to side, checking for any missed out strands. I ran my fingers through my hair, little pieces falling around me. I slipped gloves onto my hands, snatching the container that sat at the edge of the sink.
"Here goes nothing," I said to myself. Grabbing the purple brush that was dipped in the white, chemically smelled substance, I lifted the short strands of hair at the top of my head, spreading the bleach along the dark hair. Working my way from the top to the bottom, I did final touches, and let the chemical sink in. I sat at the edge of the bed at a ratty looking motel in Nashville. I reached into my bag, pulling out my phone, I flipped it open, seeing a photo of Nick and I that Brian had taken of us in London Eye.
I smiled remembering why the angle was looking up at us. Brian had decided to sit in the center of the pod, while Nick and I enjoyed the view as the large Ferris wheel moved. Brian was afraid of heights and REALLY didn't want to look out the window. I had asked him to take a picture because Nick had a picture of me on his phone, but I didn't of him. So I had asked him to take a picture of both of us. At the moment, Nick decided to kiss my cheek, a smile playing on his lips.
Your just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world.
You took the midnight train going any-
I froze as my fingers automatically pressed the OK button on my phone, opening the text message that had been sent to me. My eyes watered.
The chemical waves coming from my hair were really starting to bother me.
I rubbed my eyes. Opening them I looked at the screen in front of me.
Star, where did you go? What time are you coming home? I missed you. -Nick
I felt a knot at the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes, tears from my irritated eyes falling down my cheeks.
Stupid chemicals. I thought.
My phone went off again. But this time to a different tone. I looked at it again, seeing INCOMING CALL SEXY NICK. My thumb grazed over the green button over and over. Aching to press down, yet ended up pressing down onto the red button. I stood up rapidly, walking towards the bathroom. Journey blared through my phone again. This time, I pressed OK, once again. My eyes reading over the message.
Why did you ignore my call? What the hell is going on Star? Where the fuck is all your stuff? Everything is all over the room? Call me back please -Nick
I snapped my phone shut, throwing it over my shoulder. Not caring at the moment where it landed. I ran the water from the sink, dipping my head under the faucet I moved my head around, my finger tips taking the excessive goop out of my hair. I reached to the side, blindly grabbing the hand towel, placing it over my head moving it back and forth.
At least I don't have to put up with all the hair drying. I smiled a little at myself.
Removing the towel from my head, my brows rose, taking in my almost white hair.
"I like it," I sighed.
I grabbed the bag full of hair, shoving the bleach packets and gloves in. Rinsing out the container and the brush, I put everything back in my kit.
AJ's happy song suddenly screamed through the room. I quickly turned and jogged to my phone. Opening it, I saw INCOMING CALL ALEX. I debated whether I should answer.
It could be Nick on the other side. I protested.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hitting my forehead with my phone screen.
The song stopped only to go off again, this time having vibration added to it, indicating a text.
I opened it and read through.
Hey. Where are you, Nick is going crazy. He's freaking out. -AJ
I sighed. Pressing reply, my fingers typed.
I'm fine. Don't worry- EV
Surely enough, as soon as my message was sent, there was a reply.
Where are you, Ella?- AJ
I smiled at the nickname AJ had for me. Ever since I had made fun of him for sounding funny saying my name, he called me Ella. I told him to just call me Star, but he denied saying that, that was Nick's thing.
I can't tell you. I'm sorry Alex, but I can't have you guys looking for me. - EV
I sighed looking at the screen. It took him a while to respond.
OK, I guess I understand. What happened Ella? I saw you this morning...was it Nick? Again- AJ
I closed my eyes. AJ was the only one who knew what was going on. How? He witnessed it once. It was right before he had gone to rehab. I remember how he launched at Nick trying to protect me. They fought. What is there more to say. I was on the floor, crying for them to stop. He had literally thrown Nick out. He held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, whilst Nick banged, kicked, and screamed on the other side of the door.
Suddenly not hearing Nick anymore, made me look up, and all I heard were sobs and repetitive 'I'm sorry's'. AJ didn't know why Nick had acted that way. I didn't want to tell him he was on something, when he himself, AJ, was struggling with technically the same thing.
Just take care of him Alex...please. I love you guys. Good-bye- EV
I closed my eyes, my finger stuck on the end button, turning my phone off. This is it. I've already taken the second step. You can do this. I took a deep breath and sighed deeply.
...Three Months Later...
The music blared all around the club as I mixed a drink, pouring the contents in front of me.
"Here you go," I smile, handing the drink to the gentleman in front of me. I walked over to Nalyne, a girl I had met when I bought a house last month. She had helped me move in and get a job.
"That guy was totally hitting on you," she smirked.
After a while, she had noticed how distant I was on talking to guys. She had asked me if I pitched for the other team. I told her no, and I figured I need to tell someone who didn't know me or him. I didn't tell her it was Nick. I told him it was a good friend named Gene. Ha ha, yea I know. After I told her, she understood better, but then she was more determined to show me all men weren't the same.
That wasn't the problem. Of coarse I knew that all men weren't the same. It's just...I couldn't see myself with anyone besides him. That also didn't mean I stopped looking. I'm a girl, what do you expect. I laughed at myself.
Hello.
My thoughts suddenly came to a halt. My heart began to race.
"Ooooh I love this song," Nalyne yelled.
It did everything, but calm down. I felt my whole body go cold. I stood there. I couldn't move.
"Man they looked so good in the vid. I like the original version of The Call better that this remix," She smiled, looking at me, "Hon, you OK. You look like you've seen a ghost?"
I shook my head lightly, turning to her. "Yea. What? I'm sorry, yea I'm fine," I inhaled sharply.
"You sure?" she put her hand on my shoulder.
"Yea. I'll be back. Bathroom break," I laughed forcefully, walking to the side of the bar to the mini swing door, pushing myself through the crowd. I saw the door coming closer and closer to me. So concentrated on it, I didn't notice the man stepping in front of me. Slamming my body into his, I snapped out of my really deep thought, stepping back, and rubbed my forehead.
"Sorry," I said, hearing him chuckle.
"It's OK," his voice gentle.
I looked up and immediately felt like I was going to break down. There he was...standing in front of me. His blonde hair sticking every direction. His t-shirt raggedy. His jeans baggy. His shoes untied...like always.
"You alright babe?" he smirked.
I shut my eyes, squeezing the tight, closing my mouth, and opening my eyes again to see him.
No...it can't be him.
"Yea I'm fine. Sorry, I thought you were someone else," I sighed.
He chuckled, "It's OK. I get that a lot," he smiled.
I returned the gesture. "Excuse me," I said softly, knowing he didn't hear me over the music. I looked down and walked around him, into the restroom. I semi collapsed against the sink counter. My hand clasped the edge. I stared down at the sink then up at the mirror.
"Get a hold of yourself," I muttered. I quickly turned on the faucet, making a bowl with my hands, gathering water in, and splashing it on my face, rubbing the back of my neck. I looked back at my reflection. My hair was starting to grow. Not much. Just about two inches. The brown started to show. The bruises were already on the verge of no show. I didn't realize I was close to hyperventilating. My face twisted in anger. Suddenly my hand was clenched in a fist and colliding with the mirror in front of me, causing it to crack. I looked at my fist, shocked. A little bit of blood was beginning to shed. I opened my hand.
"Shit," I muttered, sticking my injured hand under the water, washing the blood off. I quickly wrapped a paper towel around it, storming out of the restroom, and back to the bar.
"Hey you all right?" Nalyne asked, looking at my hand.
"Yea don't worry about it," I answered her, smiling, running my hand over my really short hair. I missed having my long hair. Why did I cut it again? I sighed and shook my head.
"E, costumer," Nalyne nudged me.
I walked over taking the groups drink and preparing them.
"You have school tomorrow?" she asked, rushing around behind me.
"Yea, I can't believe I've done so much in just a short amount of time," I answered.
I began going too school my second month being here. I had a degree in cosmetology, so I decided to go through a different road. Now I was studying for filming and radio production. It was great.
"You should be proud," She gushed.
I grinned. "I am,"
...a year and a half later...
I laughed looking around the room.
"No guys but seriously. We should make like a really bad ass V-Day party bash. For singles to so Erick won't feel left out," Mike, a tall, tanned guy, chuckled.
"HEY, don't forget about me," I pouted playfully.
"Oh yea and Ester of coarse," he smirked. "Sorry, I sometimes forget your beautiful ass is single. Maybe I should take that title away," he chuckled.
The room was filled with whistles and cat calls. I scoffed playfully and turned away.
"Sorry, I like the title, and plan for it to stay a while longer," I retorted.
"Oooh," the whole group looked at Mike.
"You say that now,"
I laughed. Standing up as I felt my phone ring.
My old one, laid in a bag hidden at the back of my closet. I rarely thought about it since I turned it off on my last use that night at the motel I stayed in a year and a half ago. I had a lot more friends than I did at the beginning. I still worked at the club. My hair was up to my shoulders and still blonde. I decided to keep retouching. Nalyne and I were still friends. We had become closer but lately she seemed distant, and I didn't know why.
I stared at the screen. OK...I take the last thing I said back.
"Hello," I said as I answered.
"E!" I heard Nalyne cry.
"Nay, what is it?" I asked, concern obviously dripping from my voice.
"E, can you come pick me up please," she whispered loudly.
"Where are you?"
"Home," she answered.
I heard rummaging at the other end and a sudden thud.
"NAY!" I quickly hung up, my fingers quickly dialing another number.
"911 state you emergency," I heard a lady say.
"I think my best friend is in trouble," I quickly replied.
After giving them Nalyne's information, I grabbed my jacket, throwing it on.
"Sorry guys but your going to have to continue this planning without me," I told everyone.
"Is everything OK?" David, my good friend, asked.
"I hope so," I mumbled, rushing out the classroom and out the building.
My car came to a sudden stop, my tires screeching against the pavement. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt, jumping out of the vehicle, and dashed towards Nalyne's front door, pushing through the cops.
"Ma'am you can't go in there," a tall, dark haired, green eyed cop said, holding me by the waist.
Oh god. No. Please. God Please.
"That's my best friend's house. I was the one who made the call," I growled.
"Oh," his arm slid away from me.
I began to run again towards the door.
"NAY," I shouted. No response. "NAY!"
"E!" I heard.
My head snapped towards the direction of the sound.
"E!" she cried. Coming around the corner of the house. She looked at me and opened her arms running toward me.
I didn't move. If this was two years ago, it would have been like looking in the mirror. Fresh cuts, swells, bruises. She wrapped her hands around me, hugging me tightly as she sobbed. I slowly snapped out of my shock, wrapping my arms around her, crying along with her, falling to the ground.
"How could he do this to you," I cried.
She continued to sob.
"Nay, how long has this been going on?" I pressed, getting angry that she didn't tell me, but more that I didn't notice how my best friend was being treated by someone she trusted...much like I did.
"Nay look at me. Why didn't you tell me?" I held the sides of her face, pulling her away. "WHY? Why did you let Nick do this to you?" I argued, but froze when I realized what I had said.
"What?" she responded silently, sniffling.
I swallowed the knot in my throat.
"Nothing," I answered softly, hugging her again.
Why? Why was he doing this to me? Everywhere I go, something of him is there.
I squeezed my eyes shut, tightening my arms around Nalyne, but being careful not to hurt her.
I'm not ready to fall back to square one. I'm NOT falling back to square one.