Chapter 5- Here I go again.

[Nick]

Mm. Morning.

My eyes flutter open, catching the sunlight shining through window curtains. I rub my eyes, removing the crust that formed in the corners. I breathed in deeply.

That scent.

I turn to see the empty space next to me. Memories of the night before coming back in a blur. Star.

I sat up quickly, looking around. "Star," I called out.

I jumped off the bed, running through the room looking around. I heard something click. I turned to see Star tip toeing her way over to me, seeming that I was standing in front of the door. I stood my ground, staring at her. She jumped about a foot, when she saw me standing there.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, looking at her curiously.

"Um, I...you were supposed to be asleep," she whispered, dropping her head.

I looked at her in shock. She was really planning on leaving me. AGAIN.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" I yelled. "What happened last night," I began.

"That was a mistake. That shouldn't have happened. You were drunk and," I trailed off.

"And nothing. Nothing. That is bullshit," I continued to yell, throwing my hands up in the air, making her flinch.

"Nick, I...I'm sorry but it shou-"

"NO, don't say it. Don't say it shouldn't had happened. You still love me. There is still something there," I shouted, feeling my eyes begin to sting. I looked down, hearing her sigh.

"Nick," she began.

I shook my head, "Why are you so determined to hurt me," I sniffed.

She scoffed. I looked up, catching her roll her eyes.

"Oh I'm hurting you," she laughed. "Now that's hilarious,"

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

"You wanna know what happened to me? You really want to fucking know?" She growled loudly.

I stared at her.

"Try thinking of the last day when I left," she shoved me. "Huh! Do you remember that Nick? Or the many other fucking times? Huh! YOU WEREN'T HURTING ME THEN? WERE YOU!?" she shoved me again, her eyes becoming glassy.

I moved closer to her, my arms opening a bit, expecting to hug her. She stepped back, running her hands, angrily, through her short, flame red hair.

Bang BANG BANG BANG BANG

Nick, wake your ass up, we got to get to the studio. Jon says they got someone coming after us. Gotta take as much time as we can.

Kevin Shouted from the other side of the door. I looked back at the door, then back at Star.

Bang Bang

NICK!

I inhaled deeply. "Yea OK," I shouted back.

She looked at me, shaking her head slightly.

"Star please. I have too go, but please, stay. I swear to you, I've changed. I'm not the same person. I've started to change. So please stay, wait till I come back, so we can talk, please," I pleaded, my voice cracking.

She stared at me intently. She slowly began to look down. She exhaled deeply, throwing her head back.

"OK," she shrugged, looking back at me.

"OK?" my forehead creased.

"OK," she nodded.

A smile slowly formed my lips. Taking a quick step forward, I pulled her into my arms.

"Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you so much," I whispered in her ear.

She smiled weakly as I pulled away.

Clearing her throat, "I...I think you should get ready. You know how Kevin gets when you guys are running late," she said, silently.

I chuckled, nodding. "Yea. True that," I answered silently.

I took her chin in my finger and thumb, tilting her head back a little, leaning down, kissing her lips softly. I pulled her mouth open lightly with my thumb, slipping the tip of my tongue, massaging hers a little. She sighed, looking down, breaking our kiss.

I cleared my throat, licking my lips, looking down as well. "I'm gonna go get ready."

She nodded, walking back into the bedroom, and sitting on the bed. She looked around for a minute, as I gathered my clothes to take a shower. She laid back, wrapping her arms around my pillow, burying her face into it, and closing her eyes. I entered the bathroom, stripping my clothes off, turning on the water, and stepping in. I let the water fall on my body, sighing in relief.

I was getting a second chance. And I wasn't screwing up this time. I'd be lucky if she even takes me back...as a friend or anything at all. God, she looks beautiful. It was weird seeing her with all the changes, but she still looks good. Better even. I missed her lips. Her hands. Her legs...OK...calm down. Don't wanna get started.

I shook my head, running my hands over my body, getting the soap all around.

I hope we can start over.

[Estrella]

Oh god. What am I doing? Dear God WHAT am I doing? Last night...last night was...incredible. Noooo. This can't be happening. I can't let him take over me...I can't. Jesus, it felt so good. His lips on mine. His hands running all over me. His body on top of me. Him thrusting in...STOP. No. Bad. I can't do this. This is wrong...God give me strength.

I wanna lick lick lick lick you from your head to your toes

And I wanna move to the bed down to the down to the floor.

My eyes snapped open, sitting up quickly, looking around. I followed the sound of Ludacris' voice. I heard it on the floor. Getting on all fours, I crawl around, continuing to follow the song. I saw Nicks pants lying there, next to the bed. I snatched his jeans, digging my hands in his pocket. I pulled out his phone just as the call ended. I looked at the screen.

One Missed call

Just as I was about to press View Now, the phone rang again. Flashing the name Amber. I stared at the screen. Should I...shouldn't I?

I groaned loudly, pressing talk.

I cleared my throat, swallowing lightly, "Hello?" I answered.

"Who's this?" the female, by the name of Amber, asked, with a bit of attitude.

"You called this number," I sneered.

"Is this Nick's phone?" she asked.

"Who wants to know?" I asked curiously.

"His girlfriend," she shot.

"He's busy right now,"

"Oh, well can you tell him that I'm sorry and that he is right. I shouldn't believe in rumors over his word," she responded.

"What rumor?" I asked, now more intrigued.

"And also tell him, he needs a new secretary," she growled, and hung up.

I pulled the phone away, my mouth hanging open, looking back to the phone.

The phone began ringing again. This time the name Kasey was flashing on the screen. I scowled, answering the phone.

"Hello?" I answered sternly.

"Um, Nick?" she asked timidly.

"Who's this?" I asked.

"Um sorry, must got the wrong number," she stammered.

"No this is Nick's phone. Who is this?" I answered quickly.

"Um, a..are you his girlfriend?"

"No,"

"Oh, um, he gave me his number. I'm Kasey. I met him at the club couple of weeks ago. I just got a break at school. So I wanted to know if he wanted to hang out," she informed me.

"Oh well he's busy right now, sorry," I hung up.

OK. Seriously, he's digging himself a hole.

His phone chimed. I looked down at it again, seeing a text message. This time the name read Lindsay. I opened the text.

Hey Nick, It's me Lindsey. I had a really grrrrreat time. The last time we saw each other ;) I was wondering if you would like to hook up again. Call me. XOXO

...and that fucking hole is getting deeper and deeper, and he's not even here to create it.

I growled. The phone rang again. Keisha was now on the screen. I just stared at the phone, not bothering to answer it. The phone chimed, indicating a voice mail. I sighed, dialing voice mail. I dialed his password.

Never fucking changed it.

I waited for the voice.

Hey baby. Listen, I understand you not wanting to be in a relationship. I'm sorry I pushed you about it. How about you come over and I can su-

I ended the call. I stood up from the floor. Looking around, I picked up my side bag, and my car keys, storming out of the room, slamming the door. Reaching the lobby, I stomped out of the elevator, storming through the lobby, into the parking lot, and entered my car. I revved the engine, screeching out of the parking space.

I got home, slamming my car door. Almost sticking the key in the keyhole, the door swings open.

"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU LAST NIGHT," Nalyne shouted, pulling me inside.

"I had to do a favor for a friend. I'm sorry. I should have called," I explained.

"Yes, you should have. I tried calling you, to then find out that your phone was not with you," I growled, handing me my phone.

"What?" I stared at it confused, pulling out the phone in my pocket.

"Oh you got a new phone and didn't tell? Well, that's great," she threw her arms in the air.

"No. This is my old phone, I thought it was my phone. I'm sorry," I explained, again.

She sighed.

"It's OK. Just next time call me from the bar, or your friends' phone," she hugged me.

"Don't worry it won't happen again," I muttered.

She pulled me away, smiling at me.

"I should go take a shower and get ready for work. You have night shift today too?" I asked, making my way to my room.

"Yea, so you and me driving together," she sang and giggled.

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Jesus! This is like the fifth day this place has been full," Nalyne shouted over the music and voices, running through the bar, behind me, as I mixed a drink.

"Ay, it's good," I smiled, handing the man his martini.

"No, not good. We need more bartenders. Let's go Coyote Ugly style," she laughed, as the guys, sitting along the bar, cat called and whistled.

"We get good tips. That's all I care about," Aileen chuckled, giving me a high five.

"Baby, hey," Nick appeared, leaning slightly over the counter, smiling.

I looked at him. My smile fading.

"I thought you were going to wait up for me," he shrugged. "What happened?" he chuckled.

I walked past Nalyne, who was now staring at me like a hawk, getting a cocktail glass.

"Star?" his brows furrowed.

I mixed a bloody Mary, handing it to the girl next to him, as she handed me a tip. Nick grabbed my hand before I could pull it away. I tried yanking it away, but he held it tightly.

"Star, you said we would talk," he told me.

"I don't want to talk anymore," I answered sternly, yanking my arm harder, this time breaking free.

I heard him growl, as I continued to move around and work.

"Star god dammit," he shouted a little, causing people to look at him, while my co-workers looked at me, "What did I do now. We had a good night, I enjoyed it, and I know you enjoyed it by the way you-"

I slammed the scotch glass down on the counter hard, the sound slightly echoing. "Nick," I began, "You know I'm not one for public humiliation, but you are so fucking close that I will do that to you," I scowled.

He stared at me in shock and looked down at my other hand, holding the sink hose.

"What did I do? Why are you hot and cold all of a sudden?" he pushed.

I walked away, grabbing a tray to make a round around the dance floor and back chairs. I talked to a few regulars and a few new customers, seeing Nick push through the sweaty people. I moved again, trying to get as far away as possible. Looking back, I saw him struggle more and more, falling behind. I stepped outside, breathing quickly. Still holding the tray, I bent forward, my hands on my knees.

"Baby girl, you alright?" Hansel asked, worryingly, taking a step closer.

I nodded, hearing the door slam against the brick wall building. I looked back, seeing Nick inhaling deeply. I stood straight up, having him reach out to me grabbing my arm.

"You're not going anywhere until we talk," he said, sternly.

"You're not the boss of me. We are not talking about shit," I snapped, once again, trying to yank my arm away.

"Baby, I've told you already, I've changed," he pushed.

"You've changed?" I asked. He nodded. "You've changed, OK," I nodded, with attitude. "Then talk to me about Amber, Kasey, and Lindsey...Keisha? Hmm? Who are they?" I gritted.

"I can explain," he started.

"Save it. I'm tired of your stupid explanations," I broke free.

"You're not even giving me chance. What did you expect, that I was going to stay woman free and wait for you to come back? You did this," he pointed at me.

I scoffed. "It's not only that," I walked away.

"Why don't you just get over it Star. It's in the past," I groaned loudly.

I turned on my heel, walking up to him, swinging a right hook.

"It's not something you just forget Nick," I yelled, looking down at him, doubled over, and holding his jaw. "It's easy for you. You weren't the one that was in pain all the time. The one that had their heart broken, all the time," I cried out.

"It hurt me too," he yelled back. "and after you left. I felt abandoned by the only person I thought I could count on," he argued.

"No. Do not do that. Don't play the guilt card on me," I gritted. "Jesus fucking Christ Nick. That's so fucking typical," I threw my arms in the air. "Always thinking of yourself. So fucking selfish. That is what you are. Just fucking selfish. You don't care about ANYONE," I shouted, feeling my blood boil and heat rise within me.

"SHUT UP," he shouted, before feeling a hard, cold, warm feeling on my cheek.

I looked up at Nick, his eyes wide. His face red.

"Star, I...I'm sorry. I didn't...I," he stuttered.

I glared at him, holding my burning cheek, "Fuck you," I snarled, walking back inside, before telling Hansel it was alright and I was alright.

"Hey," someone grabbed my hand.

I turned, seeing AJ standing there. He reached out, running a hand against my now red cheek.

"What happened?" he asked, concerned.

I slapped his hand away.

"It's your fault. If I wouldn't have listened to you last night I all of this wouldn't have happened," I shoved him away.

"Ella, I," he started

"Shut up. Just shut up. I don't want to hear you. Any of you. I don't want anything to do with you, nor him. Do you hear me?" I shoved him again, not waiting for his response, turning around, and walking away.

I threw the tray onto the bar counter, removing the half folded apron, and throwing it over the counter. I saw Nalyne, Aileen, and Alan looking at me as I stormed out of the club, and began to walk home.

[AJ]

My heart hurt. I never felt it hurt so much, except for when my grandmother passed. Did I just lose my best friend? Did she really just tell me to stay away from forever? That she wanted nothing to do with me?

I saw Nick walk in to the club. Making my way over to him, I grab him by the shirt, shoving him against the wall.

"What the fuck did you do?" I growled, getting up in his face.

"Get the fuck off me Jay," he snarled, pushing my hands off of him.

"What did you do to her Nick?" I scowled.

"None of your fucking business," he began to walk away.

I pushed him back, slamming him against the wall.

"Stop it," he yelled.

"It is my fucking business cuz she's my best friends too Nickolas," I pointed.

"Man whatever," he began to walk away again.

"You know, I understand why she wants nothing to do with you. Your a fucking bitch. A fucking selfish, pussified, bitch," I growled.

He scowled at me, stepping forward to launch at me.

"Because of you, she's never going to want to see us ever again," I yelled, my eyes beginning to sting.

"Stop being so exaggerating," he rolled his eyes, hiding his fear.

"She just came up to me Nick. She wants nothing to do with us. And its all because of you," I cried, punching him. "That's for what you did," I sobbed, falling next to Nick on the floor.

I hid my face in my hands, feeling my heart sink in my chest. I heard sniffling next to me. I turned to see Nick, rubbing his eyes with his fingers.

It took me so long to find her. Even though at some point, we gave up in finding her. I finally found her, just too lose her again. Why couldn't she be mine? If she would have been with me, none of this would have been happening. She should have been mine.

[Nick]

I am the biggest asshole ever. I didn't mean to do it. I don't like me. Star doesn't like me. How can all my fans like me? Now AJ doesn't even like me. I don't know what to do. What if what AJ said is real? No! That can't happen. We're in the same town. We're bound to bump into each other. Why do I have to screw everything up?

I look down at my phone screen, seeing the few missed calls from several girl. I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I fell back onto my bed, pressing delete, deleting all missed calls. Going to my contacts, I began deleting the random girls numbers.

I laid the phone on my chest, tucking my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling.

God, please, don't let her block me out. Give me the strength to get through to her, please.

[Estrella]

This almost feels like Deja Vu.

I looked around my room. Taking in a deep breathe.

Almost feels like it. He hasn't changed.

I whined, stomping over to my bed, letting myself fall on it. I crawled up the rest of the bed, slipping under the covers, and hugging my pillow.

I don't want to do this anymore. I left for a reason. I made a promise to myself and I'm going to keep that promise. How does he expect me to just get over it? I don't think the last day I was with him is a get over it subject. I don't think it will ever be. That just showed me...he really didn't love me.

Bing

I looked down at me phone seeing Alex flashing on the screen. I opened the message, reading it over.

Ella, please. I honestly didn't know he was going to do that. I'm surprised. I was being honest when I said he changed. I guess I was wrong. Please Ella, your my best friend. I don't want to lose you like Nick did. Please?

I shut my eyes, burying my face into my pillow, letting the tears roll out of my eyes. I gasped for air lightly, sobbing into the white, feather pillow. I placed my arm on my stomach, feeling slight pain. I read towards my bedside drawer. Opening the drawer, I grabbed a bottle of pills, opening the lid, staring inside.