Chapter Six- Rip out the Wings of a Butterfly.

[Nalyne]

CRASH,

I walking into the house and closing the door, I hear a loud shatter of glass.

"E?!" I shouted.

There was no response. I walked over to her door, knocking on it lightly and waiting for an answer. Yet, there was none.

"E?" I asked for her again, but nothing. I reached for the door knob, jiggling the knob, noticing it was locked. I looked at the door in front of me and back down at the knob. I lifted my hand, slamming it down on the wooded object, repeatedly.

"E! Open the door," I shouted. I heard muffled voices on the other side.

"E! God dammit, open the fucking," I yelled hysterically, banging on the door harder.

Pressing my ear against the door, I heard heavy breathing.

"E!" I shouted.

Suddenly the door opened. I pushed it, stepping in, seeing my best friend on the floor, pale as chalk.

[Estrella]

"E! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Nalyne shouted, busting into my room.

I stood up off the floor and rushed through my room. Grabbing everything in my closet in one arm hug full, throwing it on my bed. I knelt down on the floor, grabbing my boxes from under the bed.

"E!' She shouted.

I turned to look at her. "I gotta get out of here. I have to leave," I breathed.

"What are talking about? What's going on?" she waved her arms, staring at me, as I moved around.

"I have to leave. I can't see him. He knows where I am now," I freaked.

"What? Who? E, what are you talking about?" she asked, desperately.

I tapped my fingers along my bottom lip, looking around to see if there was anything else I needed. Nalyne turned, seeing the bottle of Goose and my pipe, Luna.

"OK you're not all there. Are you on a bad trip? How do you feel?" she walked closer to me.

"I didn't smoke that much and I only drank a few shots," I breathed, sitting on my bed to fold my clothes into the suitcase.

"Well you could have fooled me. You're freaking out," she pointed.

I sighed. "Nay, you remember that story I told you? When you asked me why I came," I waited for her too answer and she just nodded.

"The guy that did that to me, the one that I mentioned in the story, He's Nick," I stared at her.

"OK, Nick. OK," she said, not really getting it.

"No, you don't understand. It's Nick...Nick Carter," I explained further.

She continued to stare, her eyes slowly widening in shock. "You're the make-up artist that he dated," she pointed at me. "That's why they were so interested in you," she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

"I didn't tell you because, I...I didn't want someone to have a bad image of him," I answered silently.

"Bad image, for Nick? E! E, he did all that to you. He deserves a bad image. Maybe what Paris said he did to her was true," she placed her hands on her hips.

"No. It's not true," I argued.

"How can you say that? After everything he did to you," her brows furrowed, as she argued.

"He was sick," I cried, "He was on drugs. That's why he acted that way. The real Nick would never hurt me," I defended.

Wouldn't he? The small voice asked. He did tonight.

"If that is so, then why did you leave? Why didn't you stay with him and help him?" She crossed her arms.

I stood there, not really knowing what to say. I looked at her, in search for an answer.

Why did I leave? I know why I left.

"You really think you're important to me?" Nick yelled.

I sat at his feet, my face in my hands, crying all the pain I felt.

"You think I love you?" he growled.

"E? Why?" Nalyne asked again.

Tears began to roll out of my eyes as I fell to the floor.

"You don't understand," I responded.

"What don't I understand E?" she walked over to me, kneeling on the floor beside me, running her hand up and down my back, "Is this about what happened when we met? Did you know about it? Is that why you left?" she asked, concern dripping from her voice.

I shook my head frantically, swallowing hard. "No. I didn't. I wanted to help him. I tried, but how can you help someone when they can't and won't even help themselves?" I sobbed.

Nalyne brushed her hand through my hair, pulling me into her arms, and holding me close. My sobs were being muffled, as I pressed my face against her shirt.

"Are you going to tell him?" she whispered, almost unable to hear her.

I pulled away. "What?"

"Nick, are you going to tell him?" she asked again.

I shook my head, standing quickly.

"No. No I won't...and you won't either," I pointed.

She stared up at me.

"I mean it Nay," I yelled.

"You're sick E. You have to tell him," she pushed.

"It's not like I-," I was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

We both stared at my bedroom door before turning to look at each other, then the clock on my night stand.

It was three A.M.

Nalyne stood up, walking out of my room, me following suit. We walked down the hall, to the front door, and peeked out through the side windows.

AJ?

Nalyne and I looked at each other. I walked over behind the wall, heading to the second hallway, standing near the corner. I peeked my head out a little, seeing Nalyne turn and open the door.

"Um, Hi. I know it's late," AJ started, moving his hands around, something he does when he's nervous.

"Yea it is," Nalyne cut him off, leaning against the open door. "What are you doing here?"

"I followed you here. I figured maybe you could tell me where Ella is. You're her friend right?" he paused. Nalyne didn't respond, just stood there, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Can you point me to the direction to her house...anything?" he asked desperately.

Nalyne kept the same pose, before nudging herself upright. Sighing, she faced the floor, shaking her head, answering, "She lives here,"

I threw my hands in the air.

What the fuuuuck.

"She does?" he asked, excitedly.

Nalyne nodded.

"Can I talk to her, please?" he took a step forward, but Nalyne kept her ground.

"She sleeping," she lied, "and if this is about Nick, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to talk," she added.

"You know about Nick?" he asked, confused.

"Yea. She just told me, but I figured it out a while back,"

My brows furrowed.

Did she just say that? What the hell does that mean?

"How?" AJ asked intrigued.

"I found a box in her closet," she answered quickly, "look, it's best you go, cuz she isn't going to talk to-,"

"You went through my stuff?" I marched up behind her. Nalyne turned to look at me wide eyed and AJ's eyes lit up.

"Ella," he began.

"I can't believe you went through my private stuff," I yelled. "When did you look through it?" I asked, sternly.

She sighed. "E, I didn't look through it," she explained, turning fully towards me.

"Then what? Because I know pretty damn sure that box was sealed and at the top of my closet," I explained, getting more furious out of nowhere.

"I was looking for an outfit. It was after I moved in, obviously. It was like, I don't know last year, two years ago? That's why I kind of threw the news about Paris at you, seeing if you would at least tell me something. I was just looking for something to wear, because of that one date I had, and I know sometimes you keep your clothes folded up there, so I was trying to pull something out, and the box fell, and it busted open," she continued. "Things fell out, when I was trying to put them back in, I noticed the photos and small notes," she looked down. "I just didn't understand why you didn't tell me," she looked back up to me.

That's why she mentioned that little note about Nick's girlfriend, 'the make-up artist'. We pretty much kept our relationship on the down low.

"Didn't you trust me?" She asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Don't play that," I answered, "You don't understand,"

"What is there to understand E! Dammit what is it?" She yelled.

"Look at the way you reacted in my room when I actually told you," I threw my arm behind me, pointing at the direction of my room. "That is why I didn't tell you. Plus you were, ARE a fan. That would have just made it worse," I argued.

"And what about now? Why did you tell me now?"

I stared at her, not knowing exactly what to say. I shook my head, moving and my gaze to AJ.

"What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you anymore," I growled, arching my brow, as they furrowed.

"I...I just I needed to talk to you," I answered softly, pain filling his eyes.

"I don't want to talk to AJ," I tightened my arms at my sides.

"Ella...please," he pleaded.

"NO!" I screamed. I looked between them. "You," I pointed at Nalyne, "I don't even want to see you right now,"

"Don't forget I know something everyone doesn't," she responded in matter-of-factly.

"Is that a threat?" I growled, stepping forward.

AJ looked between us.

Nalyne sighed. "E, don't do this," her face soften.

"Ella what is she talking about?" AJ stepped in.

"What are you still doing here? Do you not understand...I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU? I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU. GET OUT," I yelled, shoving him out, slamming the door at his face.

"E, what's wrong with you?" she asked softly.

"EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE," I gripped at my hair, stomping to the closest room, which was the restroom I noticed, as I slammed the door shut.

I tried catching my breathe, sliding down the door, bringing my knees up to my chest.

What's wrong with me? I'm not mad at them. My anger is not towards them, it's towards Nick. Why am I even getting so mad for? OH God, and the way I just acted with Alex. Oh my God. That was so...fuck. I'm a horrible friend.

I covered my face with my hands, sobbing. Running my hands through my hair, I pulled with anger. Letting go, I stand up, opening the door, and stepping out to look for Nalyne.

"Nay," I called out.

Walking closer to her room, I heard snapping. I walked toward the glass door, seeing a light flicker. Stepping out, I Nalyne standing beside a tin barrel, lit full. The fire danced in the wind, growing bigger as she threw something in there. I stepped closer, catching sight of a torn box, at her feet.

My steps slowed in pace, as I watched her wide eyed. She bent down, retrieving a dark blue, jean jacket. As she stood back up, preparing to throw it in, I ran to her, snatching the piece of clothing away.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled at her. I pressed the jacket against me, holding it tightly.

"E, you need to get rid of all of this. You'll never let go if you hold on to...to," she bent down picking up a few more things in her hands, holding it up, "to this," she readied her hand, about to throw the pieces of paper in them. I dropped the jacket, pushing her away from the barrel.

"You have no right to decide this," I growled.

"You have to move on," I argued.

"I don't have to move on from anything, Nay," I got down on my knees, trying to put everything back in the box, as Nalyne stepped forward, squatting down picking up Nicks TB Bucs jersey. I got to grab at the end of it, trying to pull it away from her.

"Let go E," she fought.

"No," I growled, pulling at the jersey harder.

"You have to erase him. Look at what he's doing to you," she tugged.

"It's not your stuff. You have no say," I yelled.

We fought tug of war, until suddenly, there was a loud ripping sound, and we both stumbled back. I stared at the torn piece of the jersey in my hands, looking up at Nalyne. She looked at me intently, moving to the side, dumping the piece in the fire, snatching the other piece from my hands, and throwing it along as well. She reached down, once again, to retrieve more things, as soon as I shoved her away, she looked at me. I picked up the box, looking in it to see what was saved...which by the looks of it, it wasn't much. I walked back into the house, grabbing the jacket from the grass, heading inside with tears streaking down my cheeks.

Entering my room, I walk to the head of my bed, kneeling in front of my treasure chest, I unlock it, putting all the contents from the broken box into the chest. Grabbing the jean jacket, I press it against my lips, inhaling lightly, still smelling Nick's scent on it. I laid it inside the chest and closed it, snapping the lock closed. I stared at the closed chest, hearing a soft knock at my door.

"Go away," I yelled.

"E, you have to understand my point," she answered from the other side.

"No you have to understand, it was not your fucking place," I gritted, standing up, turning towards the door.

I stomped over, swinging the door open, seeing her for a second, before pushing my way past her. I grabbed my car keys from the small table at the side of the door, opening the front door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, concerned.

"None of your business. Just out. I can't be around you," I answered, stepping out, and into my car.

I walked down the side of the small lake that laid near the park. I inhaled deeply, taking in the night sky reflecting against the water.

How did this happen? Everything was going fine. Great even. Out of all the places, this one was the one he had to end up in.

I sighed, shaking my head, running my hands over my face.

I have to call Alex and apologize.

I pulled out my phone, ready to dial Alex's number.

"Well, well, well, we have the tendency of running into each other," I heard a slurred speech in front of me.

I snapped my gaze up, seeing Nick stumbling at the opposite side from me.

"What are you doing here...at night...alone...by yourself?" he smirked, eying me over.

I looked at him confused and a little scared.

"I could ask you the same question," I answered quietly.

He chuckled, his face showing a very sinister look, before softening.

"Why don't you want me?" he stepped closer.

I stumbled back. "Why do you think?" I asked.

"What about what happened earlier? You're going to ignore that?" he raged.

"What about the fact that you 'changed'? How about learning to keep it in your pants? You going to ignore that information I so happened to obtain?" I shot back.

"Jesus you're not going to let that go are ya?" he stomped. He reached out, wrapping his fingers around my arms.

"I'm talking about earlier. When there were millions of girls calling for another tumble in the sack from you. Or the fact that some of them labeled themselves as you girlfriend," I gritted.

"What does it matter? I wasn't with you. It shouldn't matter," he defended.

"And you're still not with me. And it should matter. That was a problem when we were together," I spat.

His grip tightened.

"Would you have gotten back with me if those calls didn't exist?" he asked sternly.

"Let go of me, your hurting me," I tried wiggling my arms out from his grasp.

"Answer my question," he demanded, lowly.

I stopped my movements, looking into his eyes, seeing only seriousness and hurt and anger.

I clenched my jaw.

"No," I sneered.

"Even after the night before? Would you have even let us have the talk I wanted us to have?" he added.

"No," I replied, through my teeth.

"No?" he tilted his head.

My heart began racing, my chest tightening, my breathing quick and short. He stepped forward, guiding me back. He moved his hand up to my hair, grasping my short hair into his fist, pulling my head back. I groaned lightly.

"You never use to say no to me," he breathed, his face inching closer to me.

"Well I'm saying it now," I grunted, placing my hands on his chest, attempting to push him away. He covered one of my hands with his free one, pressing it tightly against him.

"Do you feel that?" he stumbled a bit, as I tried pushing him. He moved my hand up his chest. "Do you feel my heart? The way it beats for you?" he breathed deeply, this time his warm breathe hitting my face, giving my a big whiff of his alcohol stained breathe.

"You have no heart," I gritted, moving my face away a little, as he brushed his lips against the nape of my neck.

He growled, pulling my hair forcefully. I yelped in pain, feeling some of my hair come out from my scalp.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly, his face softening.

"You've already asked me that. You know the answer. Now, let me go," I tried pulling my head away from his grasping hand.

He crashed his lips onto mine, kissing me harshly. The pressure from his lips, hard, making blood leak from the inside of my mouth. I whimpered from pain. He grabbed my wrists tightly, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands moved down, past my hips, onto my thighs lifting me up, and slamming me down against the hood of my car.

"Nick what are you doing?" I asked, fear seeping through my voice.

His lips latched onto my neck, dropping sloppy kisses all over.

"Nick please," I began, feeling my eyes begin to sting.

I slid my arms away from his neck, wrapping my fingers around his shoulders, pushing him back. His shoulders flexed back, but his lips were still stuck on me. My hands slipped off his shoulders, causing him to slam his body into mine. He grunted as he bumped into me, rubbing his lower half against mine.

"Nick, don't do this," I pleaded, the ocean from my eyes, falling down the contours of my face.

His tongue slithered up the side of my neck. He hummed lightly.

"You taste so good," his grabbed my hands pinning them above me. "Just like I remembered," he chuckled, looking down at me.

I stared at him, crying silently. His eyes, a dark blue, matching the night sky. His free hand brushed against my cheek, stoking it lovingly with his thumb. He leans down, brushing his lips against mine, as I pressed my lips together, trying to avoid the touch.

"Your so beautiful...my precious Star," he whispered against my lips.

"Nick...you don't want to do this. Please," my lips quivered against his.

He kisses my softly.

"Sh sh, everything is going to be OK baby," he soothed. "I'm going to take care of you," he kissed me again, pressing his lips roughly against mine. My two blushing pilgrims, dieing a bleeding death. His hands moved down to my face, down my shoulder, passed my sides, landing at my hip. He thrust lightly against me lightly, moving his lips along my jawline. His hand slowly moves down to the hem of my jean skirt, slipping under. I begin to jerk my hands away from his lock, setting them free, quickly shoving him away. He stares at me startled, quickly back handing me, repositioning himself in his prior position. I held my hand against my burning cheek, sobbing loudly. Ripping my underwear off, he pins my arms down at my sides. I screamed, begging and hoping someone would here me.

"Let me love you," he breathed against my neck. "You love me Star," he kissed me roughly.

"Help me. Please somebody...please," I cried, as soon as his lips left mine.

"Shhh its going to be OK baby," he soothed.

"Nick," I started, once again. He stopped, staring at me. "Please, if you love me, don't do this," I shook my head slowly, tears pooling out of my eyes, as I sobbed.

He smiled a small smile, leaning down giving my a small kiss, as I whimpered.

"I do love you," he answered, placing small kisses on my cheek, "and I'm going to show you just how much,"

Nick laid on top of me, panting. I laid under him, staring lifelessly to the side. Through the middle of my nightmare, I gave up. My tear stained face, showing no emotion. My dried lips, tearing slowly.

Nick pushed himself off lightly, laying on his elbows. He stared at me, a small smile forming his lips. He lifted his hand brushing my bangs out of my face. I flinched and his smile fell.

"Star?" he asked, concerned.

I didn't answer.

"Star, baby?"

I didn't respond.

"Star please look at me." he adjusted himself.

I turned slowly, facing him. "Nick," my voice cracked, "please...go back to the hotel and sleep this off," I tried not to cry again.

He stared at me, his eyes slowly widening, "Star I-"

"Just go...please," my lips quivered.

He nodded, standing up straight, and moving out of me. I flinched hearing the slick, wet, squishy sound coming from the loss of contact. I turned back to the side, hearing his footstep fade in the distance.

Once his footsteps were no longer heard, I broke down, lifting my hands up to my face, sobbing. I slowly slipped myself off the hood of my car, feeling the fluids slide down my legs. I grabbed the neck line of my shirt, pulling it back together, covering my chest. Reaching into my jean skirt pocket, I pulled out my car keys, pressing unlock, opening the door, and slipping in, pressing lock again. I grabbed onto the wheel, taking in a deep, shaky breathe. I coughed out another cry, seeing my phone lying in the cup holder, blinking. I grabbed it, seeing I had text messages and missed calls. Dialing a number into my phone, I press it against my ear, silently crying.

[phone conversation]

"911 what is your emergency?"

cries

"Hello...what is your emergency?"

coughs "I...I..." sobs "I've been raped."

"Where are you right now ma'am?"

continues to cry

"Ma'am? Is there anyone around that can help you?"

Weeping continues

"Hello? Ma'am?"

dial tone