Chapter Eight- Every time I close my eyes.
You know that moment when...you are having the time of your life, laughing, joking around, being with friends, and then...you get the call that totally crashes that? Yea...this is one of those moments. I'm sitting here, seeing the unconscious body of a man, laying in front of me, on the hospital bed, in the hospital I was in. Yea, I know. What the hell, right. Let me explain...
"This is so coooool," I squealed. Jumping around the room, from object to object, seeing and touching the sound board, the mics, the sound system, laptops, everything, "I don't know how I will ever repay you, but thank you thank you thank you," I bounced from foot-to-foot rapidly, running towards Aaron and hugging him.
He laughed, hugging me back, "No problem. You can just play my music from time to time. That's enough payment for me," he pulled away shrugging.
I gasped, "We should celebrate. Yes, yes, yes, yes," I clapped.
"To the clubs," Nalyne shouted, dancing.
We let out a loud 'Whoop' before locking the building and driving back to the house.
My hand in the air and the other running through my hair, as I moved my hips slowly from side to side. The heat radiating off our bodies spread through the dancing frenzy, like wildfire. I have never felt this good. My blood was pumping, the music rang in my ears, my skin was tingling. I was hot. My mind was high, my mouth was dry, and my heart was banging against my chest. I whipped my growing, white hair around, slowly rolling my hips.
"Your so hot," red sweater guy whispered into my ear, clutching my waist tightly, pulling me closer to him.
"Your not so bad yourself," I responded.
The song ended and I pulled away, giving the guy a thankful smile, and walked away. Reaching the far corner, towards the back of the club, I saw Aaron sitting at our table.
"Hey," I through myself to sit next to him, "Why aren't you out there, dancing away with some willing female?" I nudged him lightly.
He chuckle and shrugged. "Can't find anyone," he scanned the people passing in front of us. "Your phone rang by the way," he pointed.
I reached into my side bag pulling out my phone, seeing four missed calls from AJ and one text.
Call me back...NOW. A.S.A.P
OK...
[Nick]
Sick. That's how I felt. Truly sick.
I stumbled down the dark side walk, once in a while being put under the spot light as I passed the street lights. I took a swig from the bottle in my hands. The liquid burn my throat as it sank and settled into my stomach. I sniffled, reaching up to wipe my stinging eyes. Feeling wetness (ha is that even a word?), I let the tears fall. I rubbed my eyes with my sleeves, coughing lightly. I closed my eyes, trying to regain control.
Giggle
I shook my head. I haven't been able to sleep. She's in there. I close my eyes, I see her face. I sleep, it starts off good. She's there, next to me, in my arms, and just when things go further, it turns into a nightmare...I see what I did to her.
"I'm sorry," I cried silently, dragging on my 'sorry'. "I'm so sorry, baby," I sniffled, looking down at the, now, empty bottle. Throwing it, it smashed and breaks against the brick building I was walking next to. "Star," I called out.
Nick, please...stop.
I groaned, closing my eyes, and seeing her again. Feeling my tears spill, I wiped them away forcefully.
Nick don't do this, please.
I screamed, "Baby, I'm so sorry,"
You hurt me Nicky. Why?
"I don't know baby. I'm so sorry," I walked, clutching my chest, feeling the large pang in my heart.
I thought you love me.
"I did. I do baby. I never stopped," I answered.
But you hurt me. Your not supposed to hurt those you love Nick. You of all people knows what that feels like.
"I know. I know," I swallowed my tears. "I..I don't know why. Star, I'm so sorry," I croaked.
Sorry doesn't cut it, Nick. Sorry won't fix anything.
I sobbed, throwing myself at the wall, hitting it fiercely with my fists, squeezing my eyes shut, seeing her crying. Banding my head against the concrete wall, the images began to leave. Opening them again, I turned to see I had reached my destination. I fiddled for my keys in my pocket. I clumsily pulled them out, unlocking the rental car, and climbing in. Starting the car, I immediately drove off. I drove, wiping my tears away.
Where am I going?
I passed the hotel, but kept on driving. I reached a stop light, slowly slowing down the car, I stopped. Sick. My heart hurt, I had a bad gut feeling. I needed to talk to her. I need to tell her I was sorry. I had to do something. I began to drive off again. Hearing a honk as the sound came closer and closer, I turned seeing bright lights getting bigger each second. Last thing I heard, was the loud screeching sound of the tires against the pavement, and the clashing of metal.
[Estrella]
I ran down the white hall way, looking from side to side frantically. Reaching the split three way hall way, I stopped, turning from side to side.
"ELLA!" someone shouted behind me.
I turned seeing AJ standing with all the guys with him. I ran towards him. He hugged me tightly, then pulled away holding my arms.
"How is he? Is he OK? Have you talked to the Doctor yet? Have they told you anything?" I asked, panting.
He shook his head.
"No...no what? AJ answer me please. Is he OK?" I shook him, my breathing beginning to catch in my throat.
"Ella calm down," Kevin stood up, moving behind me.
"The doctors haven't told us anything. Just that...it was really bad L, the car was basically bent in half," AJ swallowed.
I gasped, covering my mouth, I clutched my chest with my free hand. Suddenly my legs gave out causing me to fall to the floor, letting out a loud cry. Kevin and AJ quickly went to grab me, seeing Howie, Brian, and Kristen stand quickly.
"No...no, no," I shook my head vigorously.
"Ella. Breathe, your need to calm down," Kristen soothed, rubbing my back carefully. "Being like this isn't going to be good for Nick," she whispered.
I nodded, trying to swallow the little saliva held in my mouth.
"Take a deep breathe," she commanded, leaning to the side slightly, trying to see my face. Her hand moved over my back a bit faster.
I breathed in deeply.
"Good. We just need to be patient. Nick will be OK," she said, calmly, wrapping her arms around me, taking me to the chairs, sitting us down.
I let out a shaky breathe, leaning forward, placing my elbows on my knees.
"Can't believe this," AJ scoffed.
Everyone turned to see him.
"After everything, you still care," he pointed at me, "After everything he did to you!" he exclaimed.
"AJ!" I stood.
"What is he talking about?" Brian stepped in.
"Nothing," I answered quickly, glaring at AJ.
"OH, sure, nothing. Right," he exasperated.
"Shut it," I snarled, stepping closer to me.
"Why are you mad at me?" he fought.
"Right now is not the time," I responded.
"Why should you care L? He des-,"
The room filled with gasps, as I stared at Alex wide eyed.
"Don't you say that. No one ever deserves this," I choked.
"I see...and you deserved everything you got?" he clenched his jaw, retorting silently.
"Why are you even getting mad? You called me and told me what happened. What did you expect?" I inhaled sharply, seeing a Doctor carefully walking towards us.
"Carter?" he called out.
I pushed past Alex, walking over to the Doctor, hearing everyone's footsteps behind me.
"Doc?" Kevin asked, before I could form any words to ask.
"He's stable. He has a broken arm, a few broken ribs, no internal bleeding, and a small gash at the side of his head. We were able to remove the broken glass that was impaired into the left side of his stomach. He lost a lot of blood, but other than that he's OK," he announced.
That doesn't sound good at all.
I gasped, feeling Kevin and Brian wrap a secure arm around each of my shoulders. I shook my head again, gloomily muttering, "Can we see him?"
The Doctor stared at me before moving his gaze to Kevin and Brian, as they rubbed my shoulders, feeling my breathing elevate every second the Doctor did not respond.
"I don't think right now is possible. We need to make sure he is completely stable. Then we have to wait for at least one family member to show up," he noted.
"He's not really in speaking terms with his family," Brian advised.
"No, no wait. Hi-his brother. He...he's here," I cleared my throat.
As if on command, ran around the corner, with Nalyne following suit.
"Aaron!" I yelled for him.
He turned, walking quickly over to us.
"How is he, is he OK?" he grabbed my giving hands.
"The Doctor," I began.
"Are you a relative?" he pointed.
"Yea I'm his brother," he answered calmly.
The Doctor took a hold of Aaron's arm, taking him away and talking to him in a low whisper.
"E, what's going on?" Nalyne took a hold of me.
"Nick...he was...he was in an accident. His injuries, they are bad Nay," I whispered, hugging her tightly.
"Have you seen him?" she asked.
I shook my head. "I just want to know if he's OK," I sniffled.
She sighed, "E," she began.
"Don't...please, just...don't," I pulled away.
"Yea. It's best to save your breathe," Alex announced.
I stepped aside to look at him, as he stood, and Nalyne turned around.
"She didn't listen to me either," he snarled.
I stomped towards him, getting in his face, "How can you be like that. That is your best friend in there," I pointed at the direction of Nick's door, "He's your little brother. What he's done doesn't matter to me right now. If you didn't want me to react like this, then you should have just kept your mouth shut," I spat, walking around him, shoving his shoulder with mine.
"E!" Nalyne called out to me.
[Nick]
Beep Beep.
We won't be able to take that out Doctor.
We have to, it won't do any good. It will just cause internal bleeding every time he moves.
What the...
How did I end up here? Why am I in an operation room?
"Um, hey, can someone tell me how I got here?" I asked aloud.
No one answered.
"Hello?" I called out again.
Still...no answer.
"Hello?" I hung my hello, waving my hands in the air.
And still, no one paid attention. They were all running around and calling out things and numbers. I barely understood any of it.
"Doctor Phillips!" A nurse yelled.
The Doc sighed in frustration, "What is it nurse?"
"Mr. Carter's heart rate is dropping,"
Wait...what!
"Dad!" I yelled. I stomped over to them, shoving the nurses out of the way
"Hang in there Mr. Carter," Doctor Phillips demanded.
The flat lining continued, as I stared at Doctor Phillips charge the metal pad things. They placed it against his chest, yelling 'clear', and sending electric shocks, nothing happened.
"Dad, wake up," I walked over to the head of the table, looking down at...myself?
"What the?" I backed away, "What is this?" I yelled looking at everyone as they tried to revive...well...me.
"Hey!" I snapped, shaking one of the nurses. "Yo, can you hear me? Hello?" I jumped, waving my arms around.
The straight beeping began its natural beats again.
The Doc sighed in relief. "Your gonna be alright Nick," he said softly.
I took deep heavy breaths, stepping back, bumping into the two sliding doors, and stepping out of the room. I wasn't in a hospital anymore. The room was dimmed. The smell of ocean breeze filled the air. The flickering of a fire shadowed everywhere...I knew this place.
"Hello?" I quietly call out.
"Nick," a voice said. A very familiar voice.
I sighed, closing my eyes. Loving the sound, even though it should sound angry and filled with disgust as it says my name.
"Star?" I merely whisper, opening my eyes.
I heard her exhale deeply. "I'm scared Nick," she responds softly.
"There is nothing to be scared of baby. I'm here...it's me," I hear myself, say.
I turn around, following the voices, walking closer as I see the familiar head of brown hair, then myself next to her. I was caressing her cheek softly, giving her small soft kisses on her lips.
"I know, I just..." she trailed off. I slipped my fingers under her hair, massaging her scalp lightly. Nudging her head with mine, I move my lips grazing her neck.
"I won't hurt you. I'll be gentle, I promise," I whispered in her ear.
My feet shuffle closer, slowly sitting at the end of the couch, on the arm rest.
I knew this memory. It was the first time we made love.
She nodded her head, slowly, leaning into my hand. Placing her hand on my wrist, she glided her fingers up my arm, outlining it up to my shoulder. "Kiss me Nick," she breathed, her lips brushing against mine.
I kissed her softly, taking her bottom lip in between mine, as I sucked on it lightly, she moved on to her knees, deepening the kiss. My hands slowly sliding down her sides, stopping at her thighs, she placed each hand on either sides of my neck, holding on as she climbed onto my lap. Seeing her ass softly press on my thighs. My fingers inch up under her shirt, seeing her soft skin as I begin to lift her shirt.
"I love you," she whispered, whimpering a little, as our lips pull away.
I stared at her, looking into her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I just...I felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest if I didn't tell you sooner," her body shook, noticing the goosebumps spreading on her tanned skin. She shook her head, looking down at our bodies, sliding her hands down to my chest. "That was totally corny," she chuckled nervously, "Forget I said anything,"
I grabbed her chin between my finger and thumbs, lifting her face up to look at me. Her eyes shifted and I quickly capture her lips, kneading my fingers through her long, chocolate, locks.
"I love you too," I replied quietly against her lips.
She smiled through the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck. Grabbing a hold of her hips, I shift onto my knees, slowly pushing her on to the fur coated carpet, me hovering over her, our lips never leaving each other. My starts to sneak under her loose t-shirt, rubbing her skin as I reach to the edge of her bra.
I remember tracing the fabric teasingly. She began to whimper, wanting me to go forward. I broke the kiss quickly, slipping her shirt off of one arm, and over her head, seeing her lime green, black laced trimmed bra. I pushed a cup aside, sliding the strap off her shoulder, revealing her breast, and already erect nipple. I looked up to see her face, as she watched me with her hooded gaze, her chest rising and falling quickly. I licked my lips before latching them onto the small pebble. She gasped, arching her back, wiggling her hips slightly. My tongue flicked over it, then circled around it, before taking it into my mouth, and sucked on it harshly, my lips pulling on it as I pulled away. Star began rubbing her foot against the back of my leg, biting her lip. My eyes moved over her face, loving how aroused she was getting. I was getting there, a bit, myself. I watched as I took a long lick across her luscious breast, my thumb repeatedly gliding over her nipple. My fingers danced down the length of her body, rubbing it in circular motion, reaching the elastic band of her underwear. I watch as my fingers teasingly slip in and out of her wanting spot. She begins to writhe under me. Using my teeth, I take the other strap from her bra, moving it over and off her shoulder. What looked like I was burying my face in between her full breasts, I was actually trying to push the cup down, while my arm held me up, and the other had busy, teasing fingers.
"The clip is in the front," Star muttered.
My face lifts up from where it was and I stared at her. She lifted her hand, tapping on the clip in front of her bra. A smirk spread across my face.
"I always loved when she wore those," I muttered, to myself obviously.
My tongue peeked out, licking the center of her stomach, lightly. She smiled, biting her lip. My tongue stuck out again, this time licking my way up to the simple clip. Snapping my teeth around it, I pulled at it, then I bit down hard breaking it.
She gasped, "This was my favorite bra," she squeaked.
I bit the mangy cup, pulling it away.
"I'll buy you another one," I muttered, looking down at her yearning breasts.
"I'll hold you to that," she chuckled.
I took my fingers out of her undies, passing them between her breasts, then over one, giving it a light squeeze.
"I love your tits," I leaned forward, licking her perky, unattended nipple.
She moaned quietly, "Very...romantic...Nick," she breathed.
I chuckled, "I try," I hushed, at the same time the other me said it.
Trailing back down, my finger hooked onto the elastic hem of her underwear, lifting it up, and letting go, allowing it to snap against her skin, making her jump, but not protest. My fingers slithered under the thin fabric, putting down a little pressure. My fingers stopped just above her slit and they began to move again, only staying in the same place, massaging in circles creating, from the sounds she was making, a wonderful friction for her. I moved up, kissing her hard, pulling my hand away, only to relocate it between her legs on top of her only barrier. My hand pressed lightly at her core, massaging while kissing her passionately. Her hands snake around to my back, running her fingers over my muscles, as her back curves up, pressing herself closer to me. Her mouth slowly opens, allowing me to slip my tongue in, rolling my tongue around hers.
"Nicky," she muttered against my lips, breathlessly.
Pulling away slowly from her lips, with a smacking sound, I gazed down at her.
"I want you," she whimpered.
A smirk slowly spread across my lips, "I'm right here baby," I responded coolly, moving the crotch of her panties to aside, sliding my finger down to her opening and up to her clit, over and over. "My my Star. Your really wet," I breathed, licking her bottom lip.
She whimpered, lifting her hips off the carpet.
"Ah, ah. None of that," I moved my finger away from her moist pussy, placing it right above her clit.
She turned her head away, biting her bottom lip, moving her hands away from me. Turning back to look at me, she stared into my eyes, reaching up, placing a hand on my cheek. She looked at me so intensely, with so much love.
I looked down at my lap, rubbing my eyes with my fingers, feeling the salty water that leaked from them.
How could I have screwed that up?
I looked back up at the scene playing before me and gasped loudly. Star laid there, alone, on our bed. Her arms wrapped tightly around the pillow I usually laid on. I stepped closer to the bed, carefully sitting down on the soft mattress. My eyes gaze down at her sleeping form as she clung to my pillow. My hands lift from my knees, grazing my fingers along side her face. She stirred, twitching her nose a little. I chuckle at the cute gesture she always did when being bothered from her sleep. I hear the rustling of a door knob, then a loud slam. Star immediately sits up, looking around.
"Nick?" She calls out.
The bedroom door opens, and I quickly turn to see who it was. Seeing myself stumble through the thresh hold.
"Heeeeeey baby," I grinned.
"Nick? What time is it?" she rubbed her eyes, with the palms of her hands.
"It's time for you to give me some suga," I responded, throwing myself at her, causing her to fall back onto the mattress.
"Oh God," she turned away, as my lips latched onto the side of her neck.
"Mmm, you taste so good baby," I mutter against her skin.
"Nick you reek," she shut her eyes.
My hand roughly moved down her body, lifting the loose shirt she wore, "Damn, no panties? Fuck," I smirked, moving my hand forcefully over her pussy lips.
"Nick, your drunk," she clenched her small hands into my bare shoulders.
"Mm just had a few baby. It's nothing," I nibbled at her ears, seeing the sea of chills spread over her soft skin.
"Nick...no," she began pushing me.
"Come on Star, I need some," I whined, rubbing my thumb over her bud.
"No Nick. Not tonight baby," she pushed my shoulders back.
I tsked, sitting back onto my knees, groaning, slamming my arms on the mattress, at Star's sides.
"What is it with you? Do I not attract you anymore?" I yelled.
I stared at her frightened figure. Her arms were pressed together, tightly against her chest, as if blocking herself from me.
"It's the new guy on the crew right? You want to fuck him? You was his dick in your pussy," I sneered.
"Baby, what are talking about? I just don't want to do it tonight," she explained, slowly moving the same way I was sitting.
"Just like every other night," I growled loudly. "You don't love me anymore," I crossed my arms over my chest, sticking my bottom lip out.
"What?! Nick your saying stupid shit...of coarse I love you," she reached out to me, but I shoved her hands away.
"No. I'm 'broken'. Nobody wants a 'broken' Nick Carter. Not even my fans," I huffed.
She shook her head, looking at me like I had grown two heads, "I think you should go to sleep," she suggested.
"NO! I don't want sleep. I want to fuck and I'm getting some," I reached towards her, grabbing her arms, pulling here near me, and slamming her back onto the mattress, hooking my hands at her knees, pulling her legs apart roughly, moving into them.
She slapped her hands onto my chest trying to push me away.
I look away, digging my face into my hands.
"Oh God...I've done this before," I my eyes widened.
I turned back around, my eyes moving around the new scenery, seeing it was my bathroom. I turned towards the door, seeing Star moving off the bed slowly and carefully, as I slept there. She walked over to the restroom, completely naked. She stood in front of the mirror, staring at herself. She squatted down, opening the sink cabinet, pulling out her make up kit box. She placed the metal box on the ceramic corner, opening it up, pulling out a sponge, she continued to rummage through the cosmetics. She pulled out a bottle that had paper tape that had 'E's Concealer'. She dabbed some of the tan fluids onto the sponge. She placed the container down, slowly looking back up to the mirror. With her free hand, she hooked her bangs behind her ear.
I gasped seeing the big black and blue mark on the side of her face. She swallowed hard, slowly applying the concealer on to the bruised area.
"It's going to be OK. Nothing happened. It was only one time. It was nothing," she whispered to herself while she smeared the contents.
Her lips began to quiver. She closed her eyes and faced down to the sink. She lifted her hands, dropping the sponge, and covered her face. She sobbed loudly, causing me to stir, and breathe in sharply. She quickly covered her mouth, her neck being sucked in.
"Star?" I called out sleepily.
She swallowed again. "Yes?" she croaked, placing her make up back in the box, and placing the box under the sink. She turned, walking back into the bedroom.
I followed behind her, seeing myself rubbing my eyes.
"Hey," I gave her a lazy smile.
She returned the gesture weakly. "Hi."
"Why are you naked baby?" I chuckled deeply.
"I...I got hot in the middle of the night," she whispered.
"Come here," I waved her over, "your so far away,"
She walked over next to me, kneeling on the ground. I placed my hand at the side of her face, tugging her down, kissing her lips softly. She sniffled and I pulled away.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concern written all over my face, as I gently caressed her cheek with my thumb.
"Nothing. I just had a nightmare last nigh. I'm still a little shaken up by it," she offered a small smile.
I leaned in giving her a small kiss. "Everything is OK. I'm here," I recited.
I closed my eyes, shaking my head.
How could I be so stupid? How did I not even think of the night before?
Opening my eyes again, I had Star pinned to the bed, slamming into her. My groans and growls echoed through the room. My arms were outstretched, my hands on her shoulders.
"Fuck you feel so good," she moaned.
I tilt my head to the side, paying attention to the voice. I stepped closer seeing a head of blonde hair. Stepping closer, I see a girl with her mouth gaped open, screaming with every thrust I gave.
I remember this...Oh God...No.
"You like that, don't you dirty bitch" I growled, leaning down and sticking my tongue into her mouth.
I close my eyes looking away. Suddenly I hear a door slam.
"Nick, what the fuck are you doing?" snapped a very confused and angry Star.
I turned to look at her.
My other self turned to look at her over his shoulder, still moving in and out of blondie, "What...does it...look like," I grunted, turning back to look down at blondie, who was far gone to acknowledge Star.
Star marches over to the side of the bed, quickly shoving me hard off the other girl, "Get the fuck out," she growls.
The girl stayed there, not moving an inch, panting, as she looked over to me, watching me as I wrapped the duvet around myself.
"OUT!" Star yelled, pointing at the door. She bent down grabbing what she could of blondie's clothes, chucking them at her. "Scram bitch," she reached down grabbing her from the wrist, pulling her forcefully off the bed, literally, kicked her out of the room, not giving her a chance to get dressed.
She's so hot when she's mad.
She spun on her heel and stared at me, looking really pissed. She ran to the bed and began smacking my arms and chest, with strength that indicated she didn't really want to hurt me.
"You fucking bastard. On our bed. I could you fucking do this to me," she cried.
I lifted my arm, in terms to block her weak hit. Getting frustrated, I snatch her wrists, shoving her away, casing her to fall back off the mattress on the the floor.
"What did you expect? You've been denying me for weeks now, I had to find some attention elsewhere," I shrugged, staring down at her, as she propelled herself on her hands.
"I fucking hate you," she spat, shuffling to her feet, she stomped over to the drawers, angrily opening them, pulling out clothes.
"What are you doing?" I asked coolly.
"What does it look like," she responded icily. "I'm out, I'm not taking anymore of this shit," before she could open another, I jumped off the bed, running to her, slamming the drawer closed, my arms on either side from her.
"Move," she demanded.
"No," I breathed.
She pulled at the drawer, but I kept my hands there, "Move God dammit," she shouted.
I kept my ground. She turned and stared at me, before placing her hands on my chest, shoving me hard. I fell back, looking up at her in shock. She had never been forceful with me. She never wanted any harm done to me.
She looked down at me with a disgusted look on her face. She strode towards the door turning the knob. I immediately jump back up, pouncing towards her, grabbing her waist, and pulling her away from the door. "Your not going anywhere, did you not hear me say that," I growled into her ear, as she jumped and wiggled, trying to break free.
"Let me go," she fought, I dragged her away from the door, intending on taking her to the bathroom. She impaled her platform heel into my foot, causing me to yell out in pain, and release her. She turned to face me, seeing as she was about to say sorry, but soon turned and ran to the door. I limped towards her at a fast pace, catching her before setting foot out the bedroom. I pulled her by her arm, into the room. Loosing her balance, she slammed on to the floor with a horrible crack. She held the back of her head with one hand, while pushing herself away with the other, as I limped towards her. I walked behind her grabbing her by the hair, pulling her towards the bathroom.
"Nick stop, please that hurts," she wailed, holding her hair, trying to relieve some pain.
"You don't think it hurts you leaving. Everybody leaves me. They just want a little of me then leave," I growled, letting her go.
She moved onto her knees, as she began to crawl away.
I quickly turned away from the scene, grabbing at my chest.
"You don't love me," I heard myself shout.
"Nick please stop...NO," Star bellowed after me.
I heard myself grunt over and over, hearing Star's whimpers, and the loud smackings I wanted to forget.
"God...Please, help him," Star muttered.
I turned around, seeing her sitting at the front of a Chapel, crying.
"Don't take him away. Please," she sniffled. "I know...I know he's done me wrong, but please...I don't want to let him go...I...I still love him," she stifled sob, looking down.
"Star," I breathed.
She gasped, turning to look at my direction. She looked around, scared. Her chest rose and fell quickly. My footsteps abated as I glided towards her. Positioning myself in front of her, I squatted down, shifting my cold hand to the side of her face, attempting to make her see me, only too have go through her. Still, it had the same affect. She turned to look at me, well through me.
"I'm sorry," I meekly whisper my apology, I sheered, bestowing a phantom kiss on her rosy lips. She sighed keenly, dropping her gaze, "Nick," she croaked, "please, don't go," tears began to pool at the crease of her eyes.
I shook my head vigorously, "I'm not going anywhere,"
"I know you've hurt me...more ways than one, but leaving us...leaving me, will hurt more than anything you've every done. So please, I beg you, please, don't go," she blubbered.
"Ahem," someone cleared their throat.
Looking over Star's shoulder, AJ stood there momentarily just before walking over, and sitting next to us.
"What do you want?" she asked coldly, wiping her tears.
"I...I wanted to apologize. You were right, he's my best friend, and even at moments like this, I shouldn't be thinking the way that I am," he croaked. "And I really didn't know what to expect when I called you. I guess," he sighed, squinting his eyes, and rubbing them with the palms of his hands, "I don't know. It just...it bothers me, I irks me to know..." his gaze altered, watching her, as he trailed off.
"Alex," she said softly, placing a friendly hand on his knee.
"No," he stood quickly, "Why couldn't you have noticed me? Why did it have to be him? None of this would have happened," he argued.
"So your saying this is my fault?" she peered at him in disbelief.
"Yes...NO! God. What what I'm trying to say is," he knelt beside her, placing his hands on her knees, "I could have treated you better than him. He hurt you...physically and emotionally, yet here you are," he reached up, wiping her falling tear, from the curve of her cheek, "crying for him praying for him. It seems like everything he does...hurts you...even when he's not trying," he finished with a whisper, caressing her cheek.
My eyes veered between them, mostly concentrating on AJ's hand.
He leaned up, closing his eyes. My eyes widened as I saw his lips get closer and closer to her. Star closed her eyes, turning away, causing AJ to drop his head, and sigh in disappointment.
"I can't," she said, looking down at her hands.
"Why...why can't you? Your not his any more, he obviously doesn't care about you anymore," he looked back up at her.
She inhaled deeply, placing her hands on either side of AJ's face, gazing back up at him, "Alex..." she paused, looking into his eyes.
"I love you," he breathed.
"WHAT!" I shrieked, "Dude...how the hell can you do this to me? Your like a brother to me," I roared into AJ's ear.
I heard Star breath, as I turned to look at her. She closed her eyes, "AJ, I love you...just...your my best friend," she started.
"You can learn to love me as more than that," he pleaded (no pun intended. I wasn't even thinking until I reread that lol)
"I can't. I know I can't," her voice shook.
"Why?" she cried silently.
She smiled at him weakly, shrugging lightly, "Because when I gave my heart and I left, I never really got it back," she answered silently, tears beginning to form again, "My heart is and will always belong to him AJ," she breathed.
"I get it," he responded flatly, "I guess good guys do always finish last," he stood.
"AJ," she pleaded, reaching out for his hand, but he pulled away.
"No. I guess I'll have to be an asshole to get attention from someone like you," his jaw clenched, as he glowered down at her.
"That's not fair," she shook her head, crying.
"Whatever," he muttered, walking out of the chapel.
Star turned back around, facing the front of the small chapel, wrapping her arms around her midriff, leaning forward, sobbing onto her knees.
"God, when will all this pain just stop?" she wept.
When will this pain go away?