"His fingertips, were melted to the bone."
"I'm so proud of you guys! I can't believe you managed to do it."
Leorio was patting both Gon and Killua's shoulders, laughing nonstop. Gon, too, was joining in the cheer, chuckling under his breath. Killua was impassive as ever, settling into a subdued, quiet giggle but keeping his line of vision nowhere near their overly happy faces. How uncomfortable he really felt compared to how he appeared was a clean understatement.
"Yep. We did a pretty good job, didn't we Killua?"
"Yeah, yeah, idiot. I know." Killua snorted, sensing Gon's giant, impish grin trained on the back of his head. He would not look. Definitely would not look.
"What will you do now, then, Leorio?" Gon turned his attention back to the doctor-in-training and Killua let out the sigh of relief he didn't know he had been holding. "Are you going to return to studying to become a doctor?"
"Damn right I am! I'm going to be a doctor in no time, just you wait. When I come back next I'll be rubbing that medical license in your faces. Just as soon as I cram myself to the brink of death and pass those crazy exams. And with this," He flashed his hunter license with a smile, "I'll pay all those ridiculous entry fees and breeze through the whole thing." Leorio boomed, full of his usual piss and vigor as he fist pumped the air.
"I'll be glad to have that rubbed in my face then, Leorio."
Killua rolled his eyes even though no one saw it. "Nasty. I'll pass."
"Heh." Another ruffle of both their hairs caught both boys attention onto him, and Leorio was smiling, genuinely smiling; at least Killua thought so anyway, "I'm going to miss you guys a lot."
"I'm going to miss Leorio, too." Gon answered, Killua bobbing his head in wordless agreement.
"Don't worry. I won't be gone too long." Leorio gave his two-fingered salute to the pair and laughed when they responded with their 'Osu!' they had learned from their Nen master, their arms comically swinging cross-ways in front of them. "See you two soon, alright? Don't forget to call and drop me a line or I'll be sure to spam your phones! And believe me, when I say spam, I mean spam."
"Osu!"
Killua was the only one who caught the strange look of concern flashing across on Leorio's face when they turned and parted ways, but he took no heed of it for the time being. He figured it might had been just a trick of his sight that picked up on it.
That had to be it, right?
As Killua and Gon were making their way back towards the hotel for the night, the snowy-haired teen blinked down at the fact Gon's hands were held securely fastened inside his short's pockets; a strange habit being mimicked from Killua himself most likely.
But the nagging curiosity he had since they stepped out to see Leorio off on his travels was gruesome, relentless. He gave in too quick.
"Hey, Gon."
"Hm?"
"Why are your hands in your pockets? Are you cold?"
"Oh," Gon said, unblinking and looking straight ahead down the street they walked, "No reason. I just felt like it."
"You never stick your hands in your pockets because you felt like it, Gon. Are you copying me?" A wiggle of Killua's eyes suggestively, just for the hell of it.
"What if I was? Is Killua going to do something about it, if I am?" Gon retorted, returning the gesture with a smug grin, nudging Killua hard in the side.
"Maybe." Killua fought back a toothy smile and returned the nudge, twice as hard into Gon's rib cage. The two of them erupted into a playful round of pushing and shoving each other through the hustle and bustle of the crowded Yorknew city streets, all the way until they landed themselves back at their front door. Not once did Killua manage to pry Gon's hands from his pockets however.
"Hey, Gon. I'm serious." he said, pocketing their room keys once he fumbled with the door knob enough to get it open, "What's with this new habit? You never put your hands in your pockets. It's just not.. not you."
"What is me then, Killua?" Gon asked, following behind his comrade through the door of their hotel room. He didn't even bother to shrug off his coat onto the hanger like he usually did, striding right off and straight into the kitchen.
As Killua took in a deep whiff of air, he realized the entire room reeked of drugs and alcohol and not the nice, sweet spice and musk he was used to breathing in every time he entered a place Gon had filtered through. He grimaced at the thought.
He'd take being stranded in a forest with nothing but trees and animal life, no civilization or even electronics for that matter; if it meant remembering just a bit of what Gon smelt like before all this had happened.
He couldn't even really explain what this was, anymore.
This isn't you.
"Well?" Gon broke the chain of silence, popping around the corner to the kitchen, holding out a beer can towards Killua. "Answer! Killua is so slow!"
Killua opened his mouth to retort immediately; his flaring insults right at the tip of his tongue, but his gaze was all-consumed by the warped, disfigured things that were once Gon's hands, clutching onto his precious beer can. The scars from before were now even more prominent, weaving a pattern along his tan skinned wrists and a few pecking at the edges of his bony elbows. Killua's line of vision traveled up and back down again, as if double-checking there wasn't anything new he should know about, before he wound back up at those grotesque set of fingers holding onto the can of booze.
His fingertips were completely gone.
There was a nasty, crimson darkness hanging on the tips of each finger; like he had dipped them individually into a burning vat of hot oil and left them there to soak for awhile. His skin was burning visibly, glowing in a halo of angry red. The rest of what remained on his nail beds were chalky white, powdery and coated from Meth; he guessed, but underneath he could see the faint outline of crusted blood. It was nothing like how Gon's hands used to be; strong and powerful and eager, curious to the world and always waiting to reach out towards something, grasp and hold on for dear life and never let go.
Gon used to have the hands of an innocent young boy.
You're not Gon.
Now they just looked downright poisoned, impure; ripped from childhood and straight into reality.
"Earth to Killua." Gon tapped the can of ice cold beer against Killua's brow, snapping him from his stupor. "Are you going to answer or just get straight to your drink? You do look awfully cute when you're all drunk. Even better when you're doing the harder stuff! Killua's face gets all puffy and red and silly and-"
"You-! You're so embarrassing. So, no! I'm not going to answer, sheesh! And shut up!" Killua hissed at the sudden intrusion but took the drink anyway, flicking off the tab and taking the biggest swig he could, all in one gulp. Once he had his fill, his gaze fell down to Gon who was relaxing against the nearby wall in the kitchen, absently browsing through the last bit of food still surviving the insatiable hunger raids that were Freecs and Zoldyck. He had a tiny, rolled up white cigar perched on his lips; a plume of fog and smoke drifting up and around his head like a halo, and Killua felt his eyes instantly drawn to the sight.
Gon's moist, parted mouth look absolutely delectable; better than any sweet dessert Killua managed to get his hands on.
But..
You're not Gon. Not anymore.
Killua turned away and didn't stare too long. He knew that if he did, he too, might admit that he was lost and no longer the same person he was once, so long ago; all as he sipped on his alcohol the same way Gon did his drug.
Thoroughly addicted and no longer the same.