"Found out he pulled a knife on someone's wife and held it to her throat."
Eighty three text messages and forty seven missed calls.
That was what Killua found on his beetle cellphone the second he touched down from the boat leaving Greed Island and back into Dolle Harbor; back in the real world.
He didn't bother checking his emails. They were probably twice as bad.
Flipping on the power button to illuminate his screen, he started walking towards the location of the large cedar tree Gon mentioned; where he would find the Navigators whom would guide him in the direction of the Hunter Exam testing site. He'd already registered per-landing, showered and freshened up in cleaner clothes, and was just now passing the huge map display sign that showcased the layout of Dolle Harbor and Zaban City. Because the tree was on the highest up hill in the port town; it would be a cinch for him to reach it with his destination clearly in sight.
"Leorio.. Leorio.. Zepile.. Leorio.. Milluki, what the hell, bastard must be prank calling me. Leorio.. Unknown number.. Leorio.." Killua read off, pressing the down button and scrolled through the mass among the missed everything piling on his poor little device. More then 75% of whatever he skipped was from Leorio.
Sighing, Killua carded his fingers through his slightly damp silver tresses from the earlier dew of the breezy ocean travel. Although he regretted not having his phone on (since they were in a game after all), nor believing he could receive any kind of electronic signal in Greed Island, he felt pretty damned bad for purposefully (and slightly accidental) ignoring Leorio for so long. How long had it been? Months? Wasn't it half a year, Biscuit mentioned, since we started?
Shit. He checked the calender and dates on his phone, where he marked them leaving to play Greed Island. Just a few days over half an entire year. Oh, shit.
He could imagine how pissed off the Medic-to-be was.
Moving from his insane amount of missed calls to his text messages, he went to the most recent one and read. It was a big paragraph, no less, and Killua garnered it was to scold him or something about not answering his phone in very detailed orientated death threats that would have even the Zoldyck family cringing in mild fear.
It wasn't.
[3 days ago] Leorio Paladiknight: 'Killua, please respond to one of your messages as soon as you get this. I know you're playing Greed Island, but I really need to talk to you. Zepile got a hold of me not too long ago and it was apparently something really bad and problematic and I'm really scared that it might be even worse. Hell, Kurapika's not answering or responding to his messages. Gon's phone apparently is out of service or some shit. And I can't even get a hold of you now! I'm not even sure if you know about it, but, please, please call me as soon as possible. Text. Email. Something. SOMETHING. Killua, please. Please. I need to talk to you about Gon. So when you get this, you better fucking answer, or so help me god I will kill you and-'
The message cut off there and Killua's brow creased in puzzlement. Something problematic and bad? What could be worse then Gon still doing drugs?
He narrowed down the list, watching simple messages pass by like 'Please just fucking respond asshole' from Leorio in many several worded lengths and using various, descriptive cuss languages; then towards the bottom where he found a few from Leorio and Zepile a long, long while ago that he didn't recognize nor remember ever seeing. How did I never notice these? He didn't even remember having Zepile's number entered in his phone, but here it was, labeled and everything.
[4 months ago] Zepile: Hey, what's up?
[4 months ago] Zepile: Why didn't you tell me Gon was using drugs?
[4 months ago] Zepile: What kind of drugs is Gon using? Is it the smoking kind? Or the snorting kind? Digestives? Patches maybe? Or is he using needles? The method in which he's using drugs is really important so you should know beforehand the dangers of each one at least. Do you at least know how he's doing them? Let me know as soon as possible because I'm concerned. Later. - Killua started wondering this himself, actually, but saved that thought for later.
[4 months ago] Zepile: Killua? Are you okay? What happened with you two? Why were you fighting? When were you guys going to tell me Gon was using drugs? Has he been doing drugs since we met? Please answer when you're able to. I know we haven't known each other very long, but we're still pals, you know? I want to make sure you guys don't do something you might regret. Answer, when you can, please. Thanks.
"Zepile." Killua murmured, closing his eyes, thinking back when he had amazingly found his way to the wild-brow appraiser through a sea of people in Yorkshin. He wasn't sure what compelled him, but after that intense fight with Gon and the brutal struggle between them until Gon escaped he blamed it on a possible panic-attack that drove him to Zepile. Maybe it was because Leorio and Kurapika were gone, leaving Zepile the last available source of support; the last one still offering some comfort in this confusing and painful-addled world.
Perhaps it was because of Killua's panic-filled lapse of judgment that guided him to Zepile; a lost child seeking out an adult figure-head for guidance and help. He still couldn't quite explain why he ended up with Zepile but it was too late now to turn back and regret his decision.
Zepile knew. What was done was done.
He glanced back down at his phone and found himself frowning right off the bat.
[3 months ago] Leorio Paladiknight: Zepile told me Gon is using drugs.
Apparently, Leorio knew too. Well, damnit.
Maybe Killua did regret it, a little bit now.
[3 months ago] Leorio Paladiknight: Were you ever going to tell me? I mean, about this so-called fight of yours Zepile told me about. He told me everything, all the details. About finding you in the streets looking all beat up and shit in the middle of midnight AND in the pouring rain. On top of that, the fact you were chasing Gon who just stole drugs! Why did you lie to me before? You're the one who denied him using drugs. Was it always him or did you do it, too? When are you ever going to tell the truth and stop lying to us, Killua? Come on, we're your friends. Why can't you act like we are for a change and grow up?
[3 months ago] Leorio Paladiknight: Did I mention that I know you've got a drinking problem now, too? If I find out you're doing drugs AND drinking I will personally come find you in this stinking 'Greed Island' game and I will kill you a million times over that you won't even know what living feels like anymore, you brat.
He wasn't really surprised by Leorio's words, honestly. Killua was the wary type; trust didn't come easily to him and he assured forgiveness wouldn't come easily in accordance for his actions, either. He had a hard time trusting other outright, likewise people found it hard to trust him because of his behavior. It was a lose/lose situation.
[3 months ago] Leorio Paladiknight: Please just answer your messages already, Killua. I'm really worried damnit.
[3 months ago] Leorio Paladiknight: Killua.. come on.. where are you? You're still alive right? I mean, your phone obviously is, but are you? Gon's phone is completely disabled now so it's not like I can turn to him to stinking respond. Why won't you just answer already? Say something. Anything is okay, too! Call me whatever you want. You can call me an old man too, every single day, if it gets you to respond. Please, just answer, Killua. ANSWER YOUR PHONE!
Normally, Killua would have laughed at how Leorio's texts gradually became more bi-polar; ranging from heavily upset and pleading to downright pissed and angry, screaming bold-faced and dramatically about how Killua can just fuck himself and all sorts of flowery goodness. But, as he scrolled, what placid, straight-mouthed expression he was wearing slowly became a deep, painful frown that made his face hurt the harder it pushed on his jaw, his cheeks, his heart.
It was probably guilt, too, that made him flick the button a few times until the big green Calling. . . message showed up and he was pressing the speaker to his ear and hearing Leorio's shrill, mighty yell bouncing on his ear drums.
"FUCK, Killua, is that you?! FINALLY. Shit, I mean, damnit, I was so worried – Hell, you don't know how worried. I was frantic and hysterical and-"
Leorio started babbling and the ache in Killua's chest was the grim reminder that he still cared for the bumbling oaf of a guy, pausing right outside the town to stare at the bleak dirt path headed into the forest; to the highest cedar tree.
Leading him back to the Hunter Exam where all of this began.
Leorio may have been rambling for five minutes or more by the time Killua cleared the blockage from his throat and found the right words to speak, even if they didn't feel the same on his tongue when he said them. "Hey, Leorio. Look, I'm really sorry, okay? For everything and all the shit I've done. I'm really sorry and I-"
"Sorry?" Leorio hissed and Killua found himself flinching when usually he'd shrug it off like every other time, "What the hell do you mean by sorry?"
"I'm sorry-?"
"Sorry ain't going to cut it you little shit! You think sorry is going to get you out of this, you're dead wrong."
"I- I know. But I felt like I should say it, that's all."
There was a string of curse words on Leorio's lips that Killua could feel through the phone, but he heard a low, throaty sigh and some shuffling before, "Okay, okay. It's fine, just, let's worry about getting proper apologies later. Right now, the real issue is Gon. Why didn't you ever answer to any of my calls or texts?"
"We were playing Greed Island. I guess I didn't think about my phone at the time, that's all. I mean, we are inside a game after all."
"Sigh. Fine, whatever. Where are you now then if you aren't playing the game? Where's Gon?"
"I'm in Dolle Harbor. Gon's still in the game. I left because I came to pass the Hunter Exam real fast before the deadline is up so I can zoom back to him on Greed Island."
"The Hunter Exam? Oh-" A snap of Leorio's fingers could be heard then a whistle, "Oh, right. I totally forgot about that. It's coming up n the next few days, isn't it? The deadline for registration is just before the end of the year so you should make it in time to enter."
"I' m already registered and on my way to meet the Navigators as we speak." He glanced again at the arrow sign pointing towards that same path again, kicking at a stray rock for the heck of it. "But then I was reading through all my missed notifications and found Mr. Daddy-kins all worried about us and I just had to answer to keep him from worrying so much. It was rather endearing."
Killua wished Biscuit was here to sense the mockery in his voice, but Leorio's reaction was constellation enough to win him over for the lack in joking about his own mentor.
"Fuck you on every level, brat. Fuck. You."
"I heart you too, Leorio. Heart. You."
A loud, obnoxious groan could be heard and Killua giggled against the back of his wrist to stay quiet. "Anyways, let's move on before I try to strangle you through the phone." Leorio changed topics, rolling his words carefully on his tongue. Killua knew this by the way the older guy would make weird, soft exhaling breath sounds that seemed off, like he was thinking too hard and forgetting how to breathe properly at the same time. "I want to talk to you about Gon."
"What about him?"
"I know he's doing drugs. Zepile told me."
"..Right." Killua picked at his words deliberately so as to not arouse suspicion because he definitely did not need Leorio on his case. Not now anyway. "Well, about that, you see-"
"You can't lie to me now Killua. I know the entire story and you aren't getting out of this that easy. Give in and fess up."
"Fine." He resented without thinking and was shocked at his own willingness to drop it like that. Had he really become that hopeless in the steadfast decline of his best friend into the world of drugs?
Probably so.
"What kind of drugs is he using?"
"Meth." The hand that wanted so desperately to cover his own mouth; cover up his own words, cover up Gon's own tracks and mistakes, was shaking, but not quite moving yet. Why was it so easy to confess when all those earlier times had been so much harder?It didn't make sense.
"When did he start using them?"
"Sometime a month before the Greed Island games were being auctioned off."
"Did you use them too?"
"No."
"Then what about that stuff I found on your pants? The smell? At that restaurant back then?"
"We were bunking in the same room, Leorio. We throw our clothes wherever and all our stuff is always mixed up. Some of his stuff got on my clothes and I didn't realize it. That, and the whole place stinking smells when he smokes, okay? It reeks. And since I just so happened to be staying in the same room of course I was going to smell the same way, too."
"Makes sense." Leorio hummed and Killua gawked at how easily the man believed him. "The smell of drugs linger and sticks to clothing better then anything so it'd be pretty simple that it was just the odor of his Meth stuck on your clothes that we smelled."
Killua rolled his eyes to the none-too obvious information coming as no surprise to him. "Wow, loving the vote of confidence here after you and Kurapika so kindly yelled and blamed me for the whole ordeal."
"Yeah, about that. I'm real sorry, man." apologized Leorio, the sweet ring of his regret may have been music to Killua's ears if he was paying close enough attention. But the pit in his chest locked behind his bruising rib cage was more then a distraction to this testament. "What we said back there was harsh and out of boundaries. I apologize."
"Whatever, just get to the point already." In a way, it was Killua's own personal manifestation of forgiveness and he felt Leorio's smug grin straight through his speak phone.
"Awe, how cute. Someone's all flustered."
A red blush colored milky white skin and Killua hissed. "Shut up, wrinkly bastard."
"Yeah, yeah, you snot." scoffed Leorio and he cleared his throat, "The point of the matter is, Gon is using drugs and we have to stop him. He's still doing drugs now, right?"
"Well, yeah. When I found Zepile he told me that he'd quit, and he did as far as I thought. He went cold-turkey and stopped using them altogether, and then some other shit came up, and we kind of-"
Killua bit on the inside of his mouth to stop himself. Had sex, he almost said, confessed to their underage crime, and he forced himself to halt before he made things even more worse with the accentuation of involving drugs into their lives. If he added in sex, they'd be so screwed. He couldn't afford to tell Leorio all the truth, so he'd have to weave himself a good web of lies to avoid more conflict, get stuck in a dangerous and inescapable position.
"-Kind of just got pretty lost and depressed. I stopped drinking and he stopped doing drugs and for awhile we were doing sort of okay. And then sometime during the game I found Gon had gotten a hold of more Meth. I don't know how but he did."
"They seriously have Meth in a game?"
"They sell alcohol, too. This game is pretty realistic if I had to say so myself. They have food you can eat and places to sleep, hell, you even have to use the bathroom in it. I don't know what type of game it is, but it definitely feels real. The only thing it doesn't follow is that it uses card spells and has its own currency. Otherwise, it seems just like real life."
"This game must really be pretty well-made then. Wasn't it made by Hunters, too?"
"Yeah."
"One sec." Leorio muffled and movement was heard. There was more shuffling then, a few things creaking and groaning, and Leorio's loud, thunder some footfalls on carpet was made known. Killua picked at his teeth in the meanwhile, blue eyes tracing the lines of the bushes dotting the forest edge. A door slammed shut and Leorio spoke up again, voice more subdued then before. "Okay. Real quick since I have to go shortly, but how exactly is Gon using the drugs?"
"Zepile said something like that." Killua commented, thoughts returning to earlier and all those methods Zepile mentioned that a drug could be taken. He never paid much attention to the way Gon used them as much as he was simply using them in general. "I guess I've only ever seen him smoking in it little white wrapper things. And once or twice I saw him trying to snort it but he said it burned his nose too much and I don't think he ever tried it again."
"Okay, that's not so bad then." Leorio started only for Killua to sputter and shake the phone in an exasperated breath.
"Not so bad? What the hell is that supposed to mean, you bastard?! Gon's using drugs and you said it's not so bad. You're an asshole!"
"Calm down, Killua. I am only referring to how he's using them. If he started using needles or something else more dangerous, he could get seriously sick or worse. If he's wrapping it up and just smoking it, then his dangers are much less at least. And I am not an asshole."
Killua grumbled but said nothing, and the squeak of a chair as Leorio plopped into it came next. "Since that's settled, I wanted to ask if Gon has ever stolen anything that you know of."
"Stolen anything?" The ex-assassin wondered, scratching at his nose. If Gon was stealing, he'd never find out. Gon had a Steal card which busted him out right off the bat, but what he was stealing couldn't be easily guessed. Killua figured it'd be money to buy drugs, since Gon would not be able to tell what players already had drug cards in their binders. In turn, that meant he had a source and he simply needed to feed his income to feed his addiction. "Probably money. That's all I can think of him doing, honestly. Money is kind of hard to get in Greed Island so I can imagine he might steal money if it meant he needed drugs."
"Nothing else? Come on kid, there has to be more then just that."
"Oi, I'm not a kid." Killua retorted, though his voice sounded lazy and bored more then anything. "And I guess he had some woman's rings once. I found a letter in his backpack from his Aunt Mito saying she sent them to him, but he never told her why. Later on we discovered he was selling them for Greed Island currency if that amounts to anything."
Leorio's lips smacked together noisily and Killua hated that sound with a passion. "I heard about that, actually. His Aunt tried to get a hold of me asking if I've spoken to Gon recently and that she needed to make sure he was okay. And about something else that was urgent."
"Guess that confirms Gon wiggled his way into the jewelry, then, in order to make some quick cash. Even if it means he lied to his Aunt about it." Those words were bitter on Killua's tongue and he'd rather taste poison then this, honestly. Gon was not much for lying, ever, but Gon was neither the same person he was before, either. Not anymore.
"Alright," breathed Leorio, voice strained, "Then this means we have a serious issue on our hands. That's all the conformation I need to know this is getting real out of control and needs to be dealt with."
"Why is that? He's stolen rings and cash. How is that, that bad?"
"Because." Leorio started and his next words swept Killua away in a tidal wave of change he wasn't remotely prepared for.
He's grown up with Gon these past years, lived and breathed the same air; the same space their own world. His best friend and the only one who's ever known him rightfully, supported him and had his back as he's had Gon's. But the brutal truth that reality wasn't so sweet; sweet like Gon's caramel skin or his forest mint flavor on his tongue, or the sweet caress of his words in his ear, his body moving on his in joined unison, and lastly the sweet ring of their voices mingled in a song of mocking love and unjust passion – Hurt him.
It hurt, more then Leorio's own words, because he had been denying this fact for so long that it had become ingrained and he believed it. But now, what was there to believe?
"Because, Zepile told me Gon pulled a knife on someone's wife and tried to slit her throat. He tried to kill her, Killua. He honest-to-God tried to kill some random, innocent bystander for drugs."
The phone dropped and Killua didn't catch the last thing Leorio said because he was too busy shoving his fists into his eyes and fighting back all the sobs and screams he wished he could bring to the surface.
But all that came out was mute sound, nothing but air; and since nothingness was Killua's world all along, he was ready for it.
Just not ready for all the pain it rained down upon him in the process.
Gon, wasn't Gon anymore.