"Tell me what you've gone and done now."
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Killua stared dumbly at the screen for the past five minutes before he finally let himself sigh out the breath he forgot he was withholding this entire time. Another lost cause; it was the fifth try in finding out any lead on this 'Wife held at knife point by young boy' and still no use. He really wanted to avoid contacting Milluki but his options were running thinner by the second and it was already half past noon, too. If Killua spent all day on this assignment, he'd never get enough extra time to do all the other things he had to do before the Hunter Exam began. And god-knows how long that could take him to finish.
He needed to find out the information over this incident. Now.
Pulling out the printed copy of the photo, Killua scanned over the woman's face for the seventeenth time since this morning; scowling in earnest. To him, she wasn't even that pretty really – What with short, wavy black hair and blue eyes; a tiny stature with a frail figure that looked like it could break from the slightest breeze. She was ready to blow over and fall apart because she was so thin and gaunt. Her chest and bosom were lacking and there wasn't a hint of womanly curve there, and she certainly played the helpless role alright, deducing from her appearance taken in this photo.
There was real fear in her eyes, at least.
As there was also real anger in Gon's eyes, too.
Once I find out who this woman is, I can speak to her directly if I can't find any information about her on the web concerning the incident. Killua concluded to himself, arms crossing with the crumpled up photo stuffed in his arm pit. It was all he left to go by and since he was doing this solo, Killua had wiggle room to play dirty if need be.
Even if that meant getting his pig-of-a brother involved, in the end.
I'll try one more at least before I risk it.
Pulling his chair back up the internet cafe's spare computer, he dropped the photo next to the mouse and clicked himself back into the browser and typed something different.
Police reports and incidents involving Methamphetamine.
Results flooded through like wildfire, some old and some new and he picked through the first several links and scanned over them. But there was so many reports, interviews, and information that Killua's head was spinning from just a few. Only a couple minutes passed and the pounding in the back of his skull was excruciating. He clicked out of them, feeling overwhelmed in the flood that hit his system and shook his white locks all over, ruffling at the mane of hair and taking in a deep, ragged breath to calm himself down. There was goosebumps on his clammy skin, sweat sticking his bangs to his brow, and Killua shivered.
Man arrested for being charged with rape, murder, and violent acts against several hundred people while under the influence of Meth.
Couple found smuggling Meth packets across the borderline.
One woman and her three kids dead in a Meth lab explosion.
A teenage girl arrested for stealing and committing violent acts against innocent bystanders on the pretense of getting Meth.
Several underage teenagers arrested for abusing Meth at an illegal party, including use of alcohol and other illegal substances as well.
Two boys stand trial for murder and rape of three teenage girls under the influence of Meth.
Ten found dead from overdosing on Meth. Their corpses lay in an abandoned factory and are now being identified.
Meth. Meth. Meth.
It was all about Meth.
And as Killua read through the articles; watched the photos and the headlines flash before his eyes, he imagined Gon caught in all those possible scenarios.
Gon arrested for rape, murder, and violence on innocent bystanders under Meth influence.
Gon smuggling Meth.
Gon dying in a Meth lab explosion.
Gon arrested for stealing and assaulting to obtain Meth.
Gon abusing Meth and alcohol at an illegal, underage party.
Gon held for trial of rape and murder of teenage girls while on Meth.
Gon overdosing on Meth.
Killua felt sick. Sick and horrified at the same time.
"Ulp." Killua choked on incoming bile, slapping a hand over his mouth and the dizzying thoughts slammed into him, again and again. He could smell the sweet chemicals in his nostrils and there wasn't a hint of the drug around. Killua peeled his shirt up, sniffing at it, testing it for any hint of Gon on him after he had just recently bathed three times to rid of all the dirt and grime build up. But the smell was haunting him, because it was there; and Killua barely flung himself to his feet and rushed into the nearest latrine to vomit into the only available toilet there was. Many people gave him odd looks and quickly avoided confrontation. He registered the slam of the door as people filed out and left while he was hurling into the empty space his head hardly fit into.
It hurt; the bile burning in the pit of his chest, up and out of his throat, and his entire mouth felt like it was stuffed with hot embers and coals. It was on fire and his tongue would probably swell but Killua could focus on nothing but that horrible odor and the sickening twist in his stomach, wrenching free from the horrors of all the possible scenarios Gon could be in – At any given time really.
Gon was so unpredictable at this point that it exceeded beyond his expectations; his limits. With drugs involved, Gon could end up in any number of problems and without Killua to be there, to aid him from this endeavor, well, he could just as well find Gon's name showing up on that site the next day, the next second, in big bold letters flashing straight across the top of the computer screen.
Another teenage boy found dead because of Meth use.
The thought alone wrenched another few heaves and the splash of his earlier breakfast flickered in front of him, chunky and dark mixed by the toilet water. He paled at the sight; more than normal, and pushed himself back so hard he flung onto the floor where the door should have been closed, but it wasn't. And in his haste to throw up he had forgot to shut the god damn door, so he rolled and doubled over on the floor, vomiting there as well from the abrupt spin he forced himself into unknowingly. His world was spiraling before his sight, light dancing there, and Killua yanked himself to the toilet before he retched anymore onto the floor and had more to clean up in the long run.
It lasted about a minute, but it felt like forever in his mind. Like hours upon endless hours had passed and the Hunter Exam was long since gone and so was Gon himself. Both were done and Killua was alone with nothing left but hollow emptiness; a void in the depths of his soul just as his stomach was when he dry-heaved the last few gulps of rancid air on his tongue before sagging to the floor with a sob. His head was pounding, worse then a migraine, and he wrapped both his arms around his head in a dumb, comforting gesture that was the least bit sating.
It hurts.
It hurt. Killua bit on the inside of his mouth, appreciating the metallic tang in comparison to the sour taste leftover from purging his food contents out of his gut. Shakily, his hand wiggled its way into the spare pack he brought along and fished out a small canteen of alcohol; sloshing the bronze liquid around a few times before taking a quick swig when he popped the cap off with his thumb alone.
I haven't had one of these in a long time.
The cool, bitter liquid splashed down his throat and chilled the burning there. Killua sighed with relief, pulling himself to a sit on the floor and letting his head slide against the plastic wall of the bathroom stall. He took a few more careful sips, waiting for the ache in his head to calm and keep him from hurling any bit of air left in his stomach, before he threw the emptied container to the side and hiccuped. His mind thought back to the news articles and thankfully, because he was drowning in a buzz of alcohol, he was able to think more clearly about what he's seen.
Methamphetamine was one powerful drug to push so many people into such wrongful acts. There were several spots highlighting how most people were hitting something called a 'Tweak' or were on a drug binge, which is what drove them to feats of insanity and relapse. That was when they were most likely to do something illegal, in a fit of desperation and need; even if it meant committing an unforgivable act of violence.
Stealing. Harassment. Threatening. Rape. Murder.
Suicide. And death.
If Killua was correct, Gon had been on the drugs for quite awhile. He'd first need to research the steps in which a person influenced by Meth would act, so he could plausibly decipher which stage Gon may be in.
And prevent the rest that follows, from ever happening.
I have a lead.
Sitting upright, Killua's wobbly hand pressed down on the lever several times, waiting until the toilet flushed for awhile and was back in the clear again to get back to his feet. Although his legs were like jelly and his mind was still in a haze, he had enough energy to devote himself to standing. He dragged his shoes forward, careful to stay away from the splattered remains of his own bodily mess, and slumped over the sink. Some splashes of water over his face later and much rinsing of his mouth out; was Killua finally able to attend to the disaster on the floor. It took almost half a the dispenser of paper towels and all his sheer willpower not to add more to his growing disgust, but he did it.
Once it was spotless; even if the nasty smell lingered behind, Killua marched out feeling a little bit more renewed and energized, albeit empty and stomach churning with the lack of its fill there. Killua popped open another tiny bottle of booze he kept hidden in his backpack; all the stash he had collected from Greed Island, and started drinking from it as he walked down the bustling streets of Zaban City, a few miles out of Dolle Harbor's reach.
If he was going to get a snag on this woman; the crowded, well-populated city would be his best bet within reach. He wasn't in Yorkshin where the likelihood of encountering this woman was far and few between, so his chance was at least to stick to the cities where information ran plenty as did the people.
There was bound to be someone who could feasibly lead him in the right direction.
Killua walked some blocks down across the sidewalks, weaving in and out of huge throngs of random bystanders, until he paused at a four-way intersection and hummed against the crisp opening of his bottle of whiskey in tow. His free hand flicked on his phone; only one eye scanning through his list of contacts in consideration of dialing his brother Milluki to ask for help, when something else caught in his opposite line of vision that made him stop and not press that Call button.
There was the woman; the exact depicted version of her from the photograph, standing across from him on the other end of the intersection. She had a phone pressed in the space of her shoulder and ear, mouth moving as she talked, and grocery bags in hand. But after studying that photograph ten times over and then some, he had her features and face down to a tee. It was her.
Killua's mouth dropped, as did the alcoholic beverage he held in his hand and he paid little attention to the loud clatter of glass crashing to the street below. She moved, not noticing the shatter sound of his shock, and moved in the other direction he was headed, fading into the background of the crowd that jammed forward in unison.
"Wait-!"
He tried to say, in vain, and was bounding across the street blindly in an effort to catch up; phone clutched tightly against his palm. Cars screeched, frantic not to hit him and Killua dodged, left and right with inhuman speed, around the few that lacked good-enough braking to stop in their effort not to crash. He made it to the opposite end and shoved into the tiny spaces of bodies jostling around, crying out again even if his voice was drowned in the bustle of everyday life around him. He still had to try.
"Wait- Hey lady! Wait!"
Killua rammed through the last leg of bodies much to strings of protests and curses flung his way, in order to bust out of the mass and break free back into air. There was a space of emptiness there, where very few walked, and Killua fought to regain his breath as he panted; sapphire eyes darting every which way to spot the woman from earlier.
If I lose her, it'll all be over.
Luckily, she was now on the other end of the street, still walking in the opposite direction, and Killua placed a hand to his chest in relief. I didn't lose her yet. He was still in the clear. She wasn't that far out of range now.
His heart back flipped against his rib cage and Killua sunk momentarily to his knees, staring at the phone in his hand with Milluki's number visible on the screen, high-lighted and the little question mark of 'Call?' was there in huge bold letters.
Killua felt the slightest bit of a smile on his lips and promptly, and without hesitation pressed 'No'.
Knock. Knock.
Killua tailed the woman all the way to what appeared to be her house. Doesn't she live in Yorkshin? He blinked, looking at the numbers '405' displayed there, wanting to chuckle himself how it was the same number Gon bore during the Hunter Exams. It was quite a coincidence.
But she had went inside; pulled out a ring of keys and everything, and entered on her own accord with nobody there to greet her. So, it must be her house – Or a relative. Somebody she was acquaintances with. It didn't matter, she hadn't left yet, so it was Killua's opportunity to finally start questioning and get some answers.
He waited ten minutes to start knocking and he was still waiting for another five until the woman eventually opened the door, her left brow raised in concern. She wore a fluffy baby blue apron over her everyday clothes and Killua figured she was either cooking or cleaning. He held back a laugh at how tacky it looked. This was the woman Gon held at knife-point and threatened to kill – It was time for him to get serious.
Focus, Killua.
"Can I help you, young man?"
"Yeah. You can actually." Killua perked, stepping forward and the woman held up her brawny fist in warning. He stopped moving, sensing the flash of fear awaken in her eyes and also something else; much more dangerous and prone to attack if need be. "I want to ask you a few questions."
"Questions about?"
"Uhm, well.."
"If it's not that important, then you can go before I call the cops or stay and get arrested for all I care."
She moved to shut the door on him and Killua's hand flew out, slapping over the hard wood with a wince. The woman's eyes widened and out of reflex, her fist decked Killua straight across the cheek as his mouth opened to protest. He fell sideways and hit the porch railing in the front lawn and sagged down onto his bottom, blinking through the glassy fog in his vision then rubbed his cheek. There was a big lump there and a bruise, too, and he spat out a wad of blood to the side and laughed.
"Wow, nice punch."
The woman's navy eyes narrowed but her fist did not lower, kept upright and shaking as Killua got back to his feet still nursing his wound with the back of his arm and giggling insanely.
Why was he giggling again? Oh, right.
"You know, you punch a lot like a friend of mine."
Gon.
Both her brows raised.
"He's pretty stupid, actually. He's got this ridiculous hair-style where his hair sticks up straight like an actual porcupine. He's got huge ass eyes that sometimes shine like the sun when the light hits them but they look so goofy when he's staring at you in general that you just want to laugh forever. His skin is so tan and dark brown it kind of looks like chocolate. He's kind of short, well shorter then me, and a little scrawny but he's got huge arm muscles and so much energy that he'd run a mule to death. He goes on and on doing any kind of physical exercise he can do but when it comes to mental things, he's totally a dumb ass."
The woman stepped towards him but Killua ignored her in favor to keep talking. It was all he could find himself to do for some reason. The only thing.
Had he just snapped?
"He has the tackiest clothes ever. They're always green and when we try to pick him out new clothes they're still green. He wears these itty bitty little shorts and this funny-looking coat that actually kind of looks good on him. Then he had these giant lace-up boots that, of course, are green. He's pretty fast sometimes when he wants to be and can probably out run me longer then I could since he has so much energy and stamina it's insane. Generally, he's a pretty enthusiastic kid who grew up in the outdoors, spending his time in the forests and around animals so I kind of think he's like some wild child or a monkey or something. Maybe related to Tarzan?"
"Uh-?"
"Gon's pretty talented and naturally gifted, also. When we competed together to become Hunters he was picked first before me of having a higher chance of becoming a successful Hunter. I had been training all my life and all he's ever done is run through the forest like some manic ape and they still picked him. Isn't that funny? Gon is just so.. So Gon. Everybody likes him. Everybody is drawn to him. He's got this weird magnetic force that attracts people and just wants to make you be with him, in anyway you can. I can't help but be drawn to him, too, sometimes. Like I could live my life forever by his side, content and happy and never need anybody else. Isn't that insane?"
"Excuse me-"
"He's my first friend. Probably my only friend anyway that I've ever had in my entire life. We were so close. He came and saved me from my family when I was all fucked up. And then we traveled around together and we went to fight and earn cash at Heaven's Arena." Killua smiled, to himself more then anything. "That was so much fun. We met our Nen teacher there and another weirdo kid too that was pretty bad ass when he wanted to be. And I watched Gon beat the shit out of that psycho-pervert Hisoka. It was great. Then we went to visit his Aunt Mito and I got to meet her and his grandma. We played and fooled around for a month relaxing and it was then that I realized I had a crush on my best friend."
Why the hell am I telling all of this to a total stranger? Killua wondered, wishing he was able to stop talking. Yet the words kept on coming, flooding his system, and all he did was spew them out as they came, piled up and tumbled down from his lips unbidden and relentless.
It felt good. To talk for a change. Even if nobody was listening to him. He just needed to talk.
And that punch was apparently all he needed to crack that unbreakable shell.
"I didn't want to tell him, though, about my feelings because if I did; I was afraid he'd reject me or something and leave. So I kept it in and when we went to Yorkshin; I found myself finding more and more reasons to love him. We joined up with our friends – Well Leorio at least since Kurapika apparently was too focused on his own work to care much. And then we were hunting for ways to raise money to bid on the Greed Island game that Gon wanted so badly. It had clues to find his snobby ass father so I was more then happy to help him if it meant he was happy. But then we got caught up in the web of the Phantom Troupe. Kurapika was hunting them down too so we kind of got mixed in together and fought with them for some time."
"We also met this cool, punk guy named Zepile along the way who helped us earn money and find a way into participating in Greed Island. He had the freakiest eyebrows though that looked like a giant mustache. Kind of like that Satotz guy from the exam who also had a mustache for a mouth. It was so funny. But he was cool and helped us out greatly."
"Anyway, after we did some bad ass things, Kurapika kicked the leader's butt, and Gon was awesome like usual standing up to those guys, we were getting ready to go to the auction one night when Gon and I stopped because we smelled something weird."
The memories were crashing in now, like tidal waves only radioactive and ready to explode, and the words continued to fall into him with no sign of stopping. Killua felt like he was drowning; but his mouth kept moving regardless and he choked on a breath of air, eyes watering from the strain that made him talk now, when he so desperately thought it would be best to stop. It no longer felt pleasant to speak and here he was, unable to quit.
What the hell is wrong with me?
"Gon, he- He smelled drugs and the idiot ass hole was as curious as ever. He had to go find out what that smell was and I didn't stop him. Can you believe that? My best friend. I didn't stop my best friend when he went forward and they offered him drugs. The friendly bastard that he was; curious and interested in everything, willingly tried it. They gave it to him and just went and fucking tried it and what did I do? I didn't do anything. I stood there like a complete idiot and did nothing."
Killua's voice dropped to a whisper as the woman lowered to a crouch in front of him, the fist she used to hit him now relaxed out into just a simple hand, reaching out tentatively. She was frowning and Killua was shaking his head, curling in on himself and away from her – Away from everything that plagued him in his mind, his heart, and his soul.
Guilt was, in fact, his own monster.
And maybe, so was Gon.
"I didn't do anything."
His earlier thoughts; screaming echoes in the far cries of his consciousness, returned and Killua hugged his knees to his chest as he screamed involuntarily into them, soundless.
It's all my fault.
I did this to him.
I let him do it.
It was me.
Killua was about ready to blow like a bomb; throw it all away, when suddenly-
"Stop!"
A hand slapped him, hard, in the face and Killua whirled to the side from the sheer force of it; that he threw out his arm to catch himself from falling over as his blue eyes blew out of proportion and stared at his perpetrator – The wavy haired dark woman.
"Calm down." It was an order and Killua swallowed, sitting upright again and staring with a stupid, dumbstruck look on his face. "Just, stop. Okay? Stop."
He didn't say anything, only stared, and she rubbed her temples between her forefinger and thumb with a sigh.
"Let's just- just go inside already. I get it. Whatever it is you're talking about, I get it."
She stood up, leaving Killua to sit there, and walked to the door and held it open for him, gesturing inside.
It's my fault.
His head hummed but Killua's heart said otherwise, thumping in his chest with its own song; a soft, remorseful one and hopeful nonetheless.
But I can fix this, can't I?
"Come on in. Let's talk."
He pushed himself up and paused, feet heavier then cement. It took him a moment to recollect his thoughts and then nod resolutely, following her inside as asked when the weights from his feet disappeared. Just not the weights from his heart. Because, he wasn't going to let his emotions get the better of him. Not this time. And whether they lingered or not, Killua wanted to do something for a change.
Cover up for the mistake he did from the start.
This is my only lead.
Just take it.