A/N: Thanks for those that are taking the time to review. I appreciate it.
Luckily, I wasn't required to do anything that required my brain to be engaged that afternoon, because I couldn't have concentrated on anything.
It was too full of thoughts of her.
Of how she'd look.
Of how she'd smile.
Of how she'd smell.
…
Of how she'd taste.
I kept trying to rid myself of the thoughts.
Especially the last one …
There was no future for us.
I needed to keep reminding myself of that.
This was a one time thing.
I'd probably never see her again.
But that just made me even more focused on looking forward to it.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder", they say.
I couldn't agree more.
If I kept thinking about her, I could add to that.
"Abstinence makes the dick grow longer."
I rubbed at the hard on that thinking about her had brought on, looking for some relief, then realized all I had to do was think about Theresa and it disappeared in an instant.
I shouldn't be doing this.
Theresa wouldn't be happy.
But then she didn't need to know.
She'd encouraged me to spend some time with my friends.
And now, with a baby growing inside Theresa, that's all Marissa could ever be.
But it didn't stop me looking forward to seeing her.
It was all I could think about.
---
At four, I made my way to the local bar with the guys from work and indulged in a beer. There was plenty of light hearted banter and they used some of the time to tease me about my lunchtime calls again. But they were impressed that I'd actually managed to break away from the 'little woman' for once.
I tried to nurse my beer until it was time to leave. I've never been a big drinker and I wasn't about to start now. I've seen too many lives wrecked by the effects of alcohol. But the boys from work had other ideas.
I was the baby on site and this was the first time that I'd been out with them. So they kept lining up the drinks in front of me, like it was some sort of test. Little did they know that I had no intention of playing their game?
I had something important to look forward to and there was no chance that I would take the chance of ruining the evening by being too far gone.
No way.
I kept looking at the clock, wondering when I could make my escape. About five, I excused myself and went to the bathroom, the guys all teasing me that I couldn't hold my liquor.
But I was more than happy to put up with the teasing, as long as I could get away on time.
I washed up as well as I could in the small washroom, trying to rid myself of the layers of dirt that I'd acquired during the course of the day. It wasn't entirely successful, but it was an improvement. My clothes were still filthy, but it was the best that I could do.
I joined the guys again and made my good byes, telling them that I didn't want to upset the little woman by being late or she wouldn't let me out again.
They all laughed and said that I should join them again next week.
Who knows? Maybe I will.
I exited the bar and quickly walked the few blocks to where I'd agreed to meet Marissa. It was in the opposite direction to where Theresa would head if she was going to the movies.
Just in case.
I arrived just before five-thirty but she was nowhere in sight.
I lit a cigarette to try to calm my nerves.
Why was I nervous?
I was meeting an old friend for coffee.
Nothing more.
It was totally innocent.
The fact that the old friend just happened to be a female that had ocean blue eyes, legs that went forever, hair that fell in waves about her shoulders and breasts that filled my hands just so …
I was startled as the car pulled up beside me.
"Wanna lift, mister?" she teased.
I know that I must look surprised because I fucking am.
Besides that fact that she's caught me fantasizing about something that I no longer had the right to, the fact was, the car was …… fucking HOT.
We needed to get it out of here, out of Chino, as quickly as possible.
It was the sort of car that people around here would talk about for days ... weeks even.
If anyone I knew saw me getting into it, then word was sure to get back to Theresa somehow, some way.
And I knew that she wouldn't be happy.
I glanced about to make sure that there wasn't anyone watching and quickly got in the car.
"Nice wheels," I said, my eyes instantly drawn to her legs. She was wearing a short skirt and it had ridden up high on her thighs.
"They're actually called legs," she teased, taking in my line of vision.
I blushed. I couldn't very well disagree with her.
"They're nice too," I had to admit.
She smiled demurely, but I knew that it was all an act.
She knew how much I was attracted to her.
I always had been, from the moment I first saw her.
I always will be.
But now, it couldn't lead to anything.
Ever.
"Where to?" she asked.
We needed to put some space between us and Chino, or I would never be able to relax.
I directed her back on to the freeway.
If I kept looking at her legs, I wouldn't be able to relax either.
I tried to think of somewhere we could go where the car wouldn't stand out, where we wouldn't stand out.
Finally, it came to me, and I directed her to Ontario Airport. At least, at this time on a Friday afternoon, it would be busy.
There would be too many people coming and going for anyone to notice either the car or us.
Plus, not too many of the people that I associated with now had the spare cash for a plane trip anywhere. If they did, then they wouldn't be living in Chino. They would have gotten out.
Like I once had.
But I'd been sucked back into its murky depths.
I needed to keep in mind the fact that this reprieve was only for a couple of hours.
I'd be going back soon enough.
As the few miles flew past, I used the time to look at her.
She'd lost some weight.
But she was still stunning.
"I like the hair color," I commented.
"So do I. You picked well," she said, teasing me.
I'd been worried that this meeting would be filled with angst, but she seemed to be treating it more as an adventure. I wasn't sure if it was natural or whether she was working at it. I'd need to be able to look into her eyes to have any chance of guessing.
And I was scared to do that.
Scared of what I might see.
Scared of losing myself in them.
Maybe it was just me who expected angst if we spent time together.
Maybe it was just a visit with a friend to her.
Maybe I was the only one making more of this than I should.
She pulled into the parking lot and we headed for the terminal, looking for a coffee shop.
"So I gather that Theresa doesn't know about this?" she asked.
I shook my head.
"No. She might not understand, and I didn't see any point in upsetting her."
Marissa nodded.
"I'm not trying to cause a problem for you. I just wanted to see you," she explained.
"I wanted to see you, too."
She glanced at me and as our eyes met and held, I felt something shift inside me.
I pulled my eyes away and added, "She did tell me to spend some time with my friends."
"I hope that I'll always be your friend."
"I hope so too," I agreed, holding the door open for her to enter the terminal.
We found a relatively quiet Starbucks, got our coffees, then took a table in the far corner, out of sight of most passers by.
I had an amazing fascination with watching the steam rising from my coffee.
Anything to keep from looking into her eyes.
I knew that the sparks that existed between us were still there.
I had to keep them at bay somehow.
Theresa had a baby growing inside her.
And it might be mine.
Even if it wasn't, it was my responsibility.