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6. Wild fox

"You want to know what lust feels like? Very well... don't blame me if you don't like it."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Her mind had barely had time to register his words, when the fox-youkai's lips came crashing down on hers. For a moment Nozomi thought that her heart would stop entirely and that she was going to die from the sheer shock. It was all she could do to stare blankly at his furrowed brow; the only thing that snapped her back to reality was the feeling of his other hand tangling in her hair. At first she thought he would do what he always did, which was to stroke the silky strands. She certainly hadn't expected him to clench his fist and pull on it until she felt compelled to tilt her head back so much that her neck muscles protested at the uncomfortable position. When his fingers stopped putting pressure on her cheeks she thought he would withdraw; instead he only grasped her chin and bit into her lower lip, forcing her to open her mouth until he could shove his tongue in between her lips, seeking hers.

She couldn't deny that she liked it, but at the same time this untamed side of his was something that scared her. He'd never revealed this part of him before, and she had no idea how to react to it. It did, however, serve to remind her that he wasn't a stiff prince with perfect manners. No, he was every bit the wild creature that stories made him out to be. Timidly, she did her best to keep up with the pace he was imposing in the kiss, but her staggering attempt was rendered useless when his hand suddenly vanished from her chin and dove in between her legs. With her eyes widening again, she was utterly unable to hold back a moan when he pressed his palm to her womanhood through her pants and started to harshly rub the sensitive area there.

It was that sound which made Kurama's ear twitch, and he ultimately withdrew his hand, leaning away from her mouth just enough so he could speak while allowing her to feel his hot breath on her lips, now reddened and slightly swollen from his assault.

"Now you know what lust feels like."

Though he hadn't really meant it, he actually bared his fangs at her while speaking, his golden eyes seemingly trying to burn holes into her silvery ones. He wouldn't deny that the way her scent had changed during that kiss had been enough to start an erection in his pants. He had indeed fancied the idea of just going all the way right then and there, but in the end he didn't want to scare her more than was needed. What he definitely hadn't expected, however, had been to see her crumbling right before his eyes, until her face was drenched in tears. Exhaling a sigh, he softened his gaze and released her hair, instead pulling her against his bare chest.

"Lust is an ugly thing... you're better off staying away from it."

'You're better off staying away from me...' was what his mind droned on.

The heavy silence that followed his words was broken when the girl finally found her voice again.

"Then it's not lust..." she muttered in contemplation.

Now that he seemed to have reverted back to his usual self, she had discarded her fear. Upon seeing his inquiring gaze, the girl actually took him by surprise when she smiled.

"I'm not jealous because of lust."

His heart sank at those words and he found that for once he was speechless. Had he not just shown her that he could indeed be a monster if he wanted to? That he wasn't what she thought he was? He would have preferred to hear her say that she lusted for him more than any other woman alive... it still would have been better than to hear her saying that she loved him.

"You know... that side of you is... a bit scary."

To his credit, Nozomi didn't feel the jolt in his body when her words surprised him. Instead she fixed her gaze on his again and smiled.

"Even so, I think I like that part of you just as much as I like this one."

While she spoke, the fox-youkai merely stared at her unable to muster a word. For a split second it did cross his mind... if he were to compare the way Nozomi had said she loved him, with how Amaya had so long before, there was no denying it that the girl he was currently holding in his arms, loved him more. After all, Amaya had been spared from seeing his darker traits, whereas Nozomi had been subjected to them just moments earlier and still she said she loved him. As much as he wanted to deny it, in his heart he already knew that the wall he'd tried building around himself was starting to crumble.

Yes, he so missed the bouquet of emotions that stemmed only from actual love, rather than mere lust. He was so tired of women desiring him only for his body and never actually wanting him. Perhaps Nari was right and he needed to restrain his bodily urges... the elder youkai seemed to think that Nozomi could help him do that, and Kurama had seen it firsthand that she could drive away his lust just by being near him. But not on that night... no, even as he held her, there was a certain tone of lust burning in his chest. He hadn't felt that particular emotion in so long that it actually seemed entirely new. Without a word he slipped an arm beneath her knees to cradle her, before he stood and began the walk back to their camp.

Startled by that unexpected action, Nozomi watched him with a puzzled gaze until it became obvious that he wouldn't even look at her much less offer an explanation of what was going through his mind. Had she... upset him with what she had said? She was only being sincere with him, as he had always asked of her. Upon seeing them, Nari did arch a brow; he had just opened his mouth to call out to Kurama, but the fox-youkai merely stepped into his tent with the girl, apparently ignoring everything else around him. Yet despite what it looked like, Kurama's thoughts were quite far from any impure trail.

"I... should go back and let you rest..." she muttered once he had set her onto one of the many youkai furs in his tent.

"You won't be sleeping in Nari's tent anymore."

Blinking at his reply, the girl silently watched as he at long last retrieved his yukata from the floor. Though he had intended to put it back on, however, her voice stopped his hands in midair.

"And what should I do... when you bring other women... here?"

Looking to her over his shoulder, he finally indulged himself a smirk.

"You'll watch and learn."

When her cheeks turned red, he lightly shook his head and resumed clothing himself.

"There's no need for you to concern yourself with that."

"Does that mean... you won't bring them here anymore?"

With a soft sigh he turned to face her whilst adjusting his sash to hold his yukata around his body.

"There's only one woman I truly want... and I can't have her. So don't worry about that."

For a brief moment Nozomi noticed something in his gaze. Was it... longing? She'd seen that in her own eyes for so many years whenever she looked in the mirror, that it wasn't too hard to recognize it in his.

"But... you're Yōko Kurama. You can have any woman you set your eyes on."

"Except one."

"Is it... because she's dead?"

His eyes briefly widened at that, before he narrowed them in thought; he had actually been talking about her, but why was she speaking of Amaya? Had Nari told her anything?

"What did he tell you?"

The sudden coldness in his tone startled the girl, but she gulped down her fear and held his gaze.

"Everything..."

"I see. Then how can you say that you feel something else for me, other than lust?"

"Because I do. Nari told me you blame yourself for her death... but he never thought you were guilty of anything. I'm sure she knows that too... that if you were strong enough back then, you would have saved her."

Finally lowering her eyes she placed them onto her hands, gathered on her lap.

"I may not know much about feelings or love. But I know what it feels like to love someone so much that you would give everything for them. So please... don't say it was your fault. I'm sure she never blamed you either..."

"Enough!"

Though he had turned his back to her by then, the sheer anger in his voice struck her harder than any weapon ever could. Toning down his voice a bit, he exhaled an angry sigh.

"Enough..."

"But... it's not right to carry that burden when you shouldn't..."

She hadn't really meant to insist on it, but she hadn't expected him to give her that murderous gaze either, when he suddenly whirled to face her.

"I said enough!" he ordered. "Don't talk to me about how I should feel... you know nothing of it!"

With the girl utterly stunned as she stared at him, Kurama stepped out of the tent, nearly tearing the flap when he pushed it aside. He needed to get away for a while... how in the Makai could she make him lose his cool like that? It was as if she knew just what to say and how to say it, to cause him to crumble and give in to his anger. Ignoring Nari's calls, he moved into the forest to cool down and settle his thoughts back onto their logical trail. It didn't take more than a few moments after he left, for Nozomi to suddenly realize that her face was drenched in tears again. She wouldn't deny that his gaze had made her believe for a split second that he would slash her throat open with his claws.

'Dangerous... so dangerous...' her mind chanted over and over.

Shaking her head, she clenched her fists onto the soft material of her pants.

"No... if I start to fear him, there'll be no going back." she muttered to herself.

Still, he was right; who was she to talk of feelings when she was just starting to learn about them? Not wishing to further anger him by leaving his tent before he came back, she lied onto the fur beneath her, crying silently until sleep ultimately claimed her. It was quite late into the night when Kurama finally returned; again ignoring Nari, he headed into his tent... his first priority, after all, was to talk to the girl and try to somehow repair the earlier situation. What caught his eye, however, was not the fact that Nozomi was asleep – as he had expected that – but the sight of tears still glistening at the corners of her eyes. Carefully gathering her from that spot, he placed her onto the thicker furs which made up his bedding and covered her, before seating himself at her side.

A while later he was still intently watching her; he didn't even want to imagine what she was dreaming of, to make her cry even in her sleep. Ultimately he could take no more of it and felt compelled to lean down, gingerly kissing her tears away.

"I just... want to help..." she muttered.

His ear twitched at the sound of her voice, but he soon realized she was talking in her sleep. To think she would be dreaming of him even now; he actually... didn't dislike that. Giving in to his own feelings, he lied at her side and wrapped an arm around her until he could feel her against him.

"I... want to... help..." she muttered again, grasping his yukata as though she knew he was there.

"I know..." he whispered, placing a kiss to her forehead.

He didn't sleep anymore that night; not that he could have with Nozomi sniffling in her sleep all the time, which kept him incredibly alert at the fact that she was still crying. It was barely dawn when she woke up to the faintly familiar sight of his yukata and the pale skin revealed by the sleazy material.

"Why...?" she whispered to herself, thinking he was asleep.

"What is it?"

With her eyes snapping wide open, she stared at him and realized he was fully awake already.

"Do you know you talk in your sleep?"

When her cheeks again reddened in embarrassment, he trailed the back of his fingers along her skin, enjoying the warm softness of it.

"What... what did I say?"

Going silent for a while, the fox-youkai merely lowered his hand to her chin, his thumb gingerly trailing her lips.

"Nothing I didn't already know." he finally replied.

Unable to utter a sound, Nozomi stared at him as he so intently watched her lips. There it was again... that shade of longing she had seen the previous night. Was he... longing for her?