A/N: Hi, my beautiful readers :D

I'm so happy to know that I managed to surprise you with that twist in the previous chapter. And I'm happy you like my casting for Tommy.

I love reading your reviews so keep them coming :D Also, welcome, new readers, Hope you'll have fun reading this AU.

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

The Pain of Realisation

Sitting at the bar and twirling his mother's cigarette box, Jax observed Tara and Thomas.

The two were sitting in the booth and talked enthusiastically, with fucking smiles plastered on their faces.

Thomas's hands were on Tara's, and every once in a while, they would laugh at something that one of them said. Tara would tilt her head to the side in that cute way of hers and look like she was completely absorbed in whatever the crap story Thomas was telling her.

The anger was boiling in Jax.

She'd been avoiding him for two straight days, two days! And the moment Thomas showed up, she never left his side!

-"You look pissed." - Gemma noted, taking her cigarette box from his hands. Jax frowned.

-"I'm not pissed. I'm just surprised." - he tried to hide the hurt.

Gemma sat beside him and lit a cigarette. Taking a long drag, she breathed it in and puffed a cloud of grey smoke. She narrowed her eyes and looked at her son.

-"Bullshit. So, that's your 'friend'." - she nodded in Tara's direction.

Jax rolled his eyes and sighed.

-"Ma, she is a friend, nothing more."

Gemma pouted her lips. She wasn't a fool and she could clearly see that her son was in love with this Tara girl.

-"How come you don't know Tara?" - asked Jax, after a few silent moments.

Gemma just shrugged, finishing her cigarette.

-"They probably didn't date for long. Besides, you know your brother. He' just as secretive as you."

Yeah, well this was a pretty big secret, Jax thought.

Gemma and he talked for another half an hour, and all the while Jax kept stealing glances at Tara and Thomas.

What the fuck did they have to talk about for a fucking hour?

Ten minutes later, Neal walked in and the atmosphere in the clubhouse visibly changed.

Jax noticed how Neal's jaw clenched, his hands balling in fists as he looked at someone. Jax followed his gaze and realised that Neal was looking at Tara and Thomas.

As if sensing his eyes on him, Thomas looked up and his face, which up to that point was all grins and sparkling eyes, became rigid, his eyes locking with Neal's.

Tara noticed the change and turned, her eyes going wide. She stood up immediately and went to Neal, grabbing his arm and pulling him away.

Thomas got up and started walking towards them, but Tara waved him off, lacing her fingers with Neal's and leading him outside.

Jax came behind Thomas, whose eyes were still on the door, waiting for Tara to come back.

-"What's goin' on, man? What was that about?"

Thomas's head snapped at the sound of his brother's voice. He scowled, as if remembering something.

-"A few months after Tara and I broke up, she met him." - he sneered at the last word. -"I wanted to make up with her, but that guy kept showing up and... We had a few altercations. Later, they started dating and... she and I became distant." - he said sadly.

-"Why did you broke up?" - Jax asked, forcing himself to sound casual.

His brother sighed, pain becoming visible on his face.

-"I did something stupid. I cheated on her. The worst mistake of my life. If I could go back in time..."

He sounded regretful and Jax almost felt sorry for him. Almost being the key word here, since he was still jealous that Tommy even came close to Tara, more so that they had been in a relationship.

Truth be told, Jax was glad that they broke up. He would have felt much worse had he came to like his brother's girl. This way, what he felt was not so bad, right?

-"I'm gonna talk to ma."

Thomas walked past him, leaving Jax somewhat confused.

He still wanted to ask him why Tara had welcomed him so cheerfully if he had been such an ass to her.

############################################

-"Neal, please calm down." - Tara pleaded, holding his hands.

Neal shook his head, his face still an angry grimace.

-"What is he doing here?" - Neal asked angrily.

-"He's Jax's brother. I had no idea, I swear." - she looked straight into his eyes. -"Baby, please, don't be like that. We've been over this."

Her hand went up to cup his cheek.

-"Please, act civil. Tommy and I are long over, you know that."

His blue orbs changed from ice cold to warm and loving. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

-"I know. It's just... I will never understand how you could forgive him and-"

-"I forgave him because we were friend long before we started dating. I cherish our friendship more than I hated him for his betrayal." - Tara answered honestly.

-"You are amazing." - Neal said before he kissed her passionately, almost as if he was making sure that Tommy was indeed gone from her mind.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he spun her around and pinned her to the wall, resting his hands on the wall at either side of her face.

He teased her mouth with his tongue earning himself a few moans.

Tara pulled him by his shirt so that he was practically on her. She felt his erection and smiled against his lips, then licked his lower lip as her hand travelled down his torso, resting on his belt.

########################################################

After talking to his brother, Jax wanted to check on Tara and Neal. He hoped that Tara had managed to calm him down, because judging by the look on his face earlier, he was all but ready to go into a fist fight with Thomas.

When he stepped out of the clubhouse, he heard muffled voices which he believed to be Tara and Neal's. As he walked towards them, the voices ceased.

Jax came round the corner and what he saw made him sick. Sick to the point of wanting to beat someone to a pulp.

Tara was leaned against the wall, Neal all over her. He was kissing her neck as Tara moaned. Jax saw her hand lowering down and brushing against Neal's obvious erection. Her hand disappeared in his pants and seconds later a ragged "Fuck, baby!" came out of Neal's mouth. Tara chuckled.

Jax was in trance, not believing his eyes. But luckily, something in him shook him to his senses and he quickly turned and walked away.

He was heaving, his nostrils flared up as he stomped into the gym via the back entrance.

The gym was empty since most of the guys were either in the clubhouse or they went somewhere else.

Jax wrapped his hands and went to the punching bag.

His heart pounded hard against his chest.

He started punching the bag hard, then charging at it full force.

With every punch, every kick, an image of Tara stroking Neal flashed in his mind, that Jax kept hitting it and hitting it, wanting to erase that fucking image out of his mind.

He wished he had never gone to look for them. Wished he had never heard their voices. Wished he had never seen his Tara enjoying the kisses of another man while her hand stroked his cock.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

His every punch was followed by a scream.

His face was already adorned with beads of sweat, his shirt completely soaked. He sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. Taking off the wraps, he tossed them aside. He drew his knees to his chest and rested his arms on them.

He looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm his breathing. He couldn't remember when the last time was that it took him this long to catch his breath.

He felt like a ton of bricks was laid on his chest, and like someone just kept adding and adding the fucking weight.

He felt tears pricking his eyes as he gasped for air.

-"Jax, are you ok?"

He heard footsteps and next thing he knew, Wendy was kneeling before him, her hand on his back as she instructed him to breathe.

He did as she said, taking deep breaths. A few moments after that, he was calm enough to speak.

-"What're you doing here?" - he asked, turning his head to her.

She sat beside him.

-"We haven't talked in a while. I wanted to see how you were doing. I guess I came at the right time."

He looked at her, feeling a lump forming in his throat again.

-"Wanna talk about it, get it off your chest? Might make you feel better."

Jax sighed, biting his lip. He fought the tears that had formed in his eyes, but eventually he couldn't take it anymore.

He started crying.

Small sobs escaped his lips as he covered his face with his hands. His whole body was shaking. Wendy patted his back, not saying a word and just letting him cry his pain out.

A little while after he started laughing, wiping his tears.

-"I'm an idiot."

Wendy gave him a weak smile.

-"Why? Does this have something to do with a certain brunette that's currently in the clubhouse talking to your mom?"

He sneered, then smirked.

-"Am I that obvious?"

Wendy shrugged.

-"Maybe. But I've known you for a long time and I've never seen you like this."

Jax just sighed. He wasn't sure whether he should say anything or not. However, the pain he was feeling was too much for him. So he spoke.

-"I've no idea what's happenin' to me. I get jealous if one of the guys even looks at her the way I don't like. Tonight I felt like someone had ripped my heart out when I saw her hugging my brother the way I wanted her to hug me. I... I wanted to hit him for not telling me they used to date. Which is stupid, since he and I didn't talk much over the years and I didn't even know her." - he took a deep breath before continuing. -"And just now I saw her making out with her boyfriend and touching him-" - he could say it.

The mere thought of it choked him.

-"I feel like I'm goin' crazy. Fuck, I just cried like a little girl. Jesus Christ, I'm fucked!"

Wendy took his hand and rubbed it.

-"You're not an idiot, silly. You're in love."

Jax's eyes bulged before he started laughing hysterically.

-"You're telling me this is what love feels like? I can't breathe, I can't sleep normally, I think about her all the time. My chest hurts at the thought of another man's hands on her. I am going crazy. I see her face in my head when I fuck other girls. I keep thinking 'I wish this was her'. And when I get angry just by thinking or seeing her kiss him... I lose it. I want her. Fuck, I want her." - the last thought was said as a sort of realisation. "I'm... I'm... Fuck, I love her."- he breathed out.

Wendy smiled at him, still holding his hand.

-"I'm a mess. A fucking mess."

-"Well... I'm here if you want to talk."

-"Thanks, Wendy. You're a good friend."

She kissed his cheek and he kissed hers. They both leaned back, and Wendy leaned her head on his shoulder.

-"Jax? What are you going to do now?"

She heard his sharp intake of breath.

-"What can I do? She's fucking engaged. She's my brother's ex. I can't do anything. Ever." – he answered in a defeated manner.

They sat in silence, their breathing the only sound in the gym.

(Let me know what you think of this chapter. Love you all xoxo)