Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

PROVIDENCE

CHAPTER 10

A WEEK LATER

"What do you say?" Kathryn asked Hazel as she showed the girl a smoking hot nutroast. "Fit for the Commander?"

"Oh yes," Hazel replied. "It looks and smells delicious. Did you make it?"

Kathryn smiled and put the roast down on a small table she had set for two. "Let's just say I baked it."

Hazel laughed. "I see. A packet?"

"With the simple instruction...just add hot water and cook for fifteen minutes."

The girl laughed again. "Sounds like something I would do. But Chakotay doesn't have to know. Your secret's safe with me."

Suddenly, there was a sound of scratching on the wall behind them. The two women turned around and saw a frantic Chancer clawing at what looked like a hatch but was actually a vent.

"Oh, honey," Kathryn said, going over to him, "there's no need to run away. Hazel won't hurt you, she's a friend."

Kathryn was now keeping the animal in her quarters as the fourth, and final, stage of his domestication. The cat was quite satisfied with this state of affairs as he loved his new fluffy bed and all the tasty treats that came his way, but he was not yet ready to share his living space with anyone but Kathryn.

"He really is a scardy cat, isn't he?" Hazel said as Kathryn scooped him up. "Why is that? Do you think he was mistreated?"

"Quite possibly," Kathryn replied. "I'd say most likely."

"Poor thing. But he really seems to like you. It's like you're a cat whisperer or something. He won't let anyone else near him!"

"I guess we're just kindred spirits," Kathryn smiled. "But his heart is beating wildly so I'll put him in my bedroom and close the door. That should relax him."

"Good idea. He'll only freak out again when Chakotay arrives...which should be any moment now so I'll make myself scarce."

"Ok. See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Enjoy your roast."

Hazel then left and Kathryn took Chancer into her bedroom. The poor thing was trembling violently and she could only pity him. Pity him and empathize.

"Poor honey," she said, sitting on her bed and cuddling him. "You've had a rough life, haven't you? People can be so cruel. People of all races and species. Too many people. If only the universe was a nicer place. If only there was more kindness. But it's hard to find, honey, even in our supposedly enlightened age. Hearts are hard, and hands...they too often hurt us. But no one will hurt you here, Chancer. Not even Seska, though I'm sure if looks could kill I'd be dead by now. But if you'd rather live with me than here, and I'm sure you would, I'll ask Chakotay if I can take you with me when I leave."

There was a moment's silence, then Chakotay's voice spoke.

"He's not mine to give."

Kathryn looked up in surprise and saw him standing in the doorway. He was dressed, as always, in black and was holding a bottle of cabernet sauvignon.

"Chakotay," she said, "I...I didn't hear you come in."

"Hazel let me."

"I see."

Slowly, Chakotay walked towards her. "And I agree. The universe is not a kind place. Sometimes I think it's hell."

"Me too. But we must never lose hope or faith. In the face of all adversity we must always cling to those. Otherwise what is left?"

"Nothing worth living for. "

There was something in the way Chakotay said those words that concerned Kathryn.

"And life is worth living," she said. "Do you doubt that?"

"Sometimes." But then, uncomfortable with the conversation, he changed the subject. "But by all means take Chancer with you when you leave. I know he'll have a good home."

Sensing Chakotay's discomfort, Kathryn didn't press. Instead, she followed his lead. "Thank you. I have to confess, I've always been more of a dog woman than a cat, but I've become very fond of this little fella."

"Well, I'm glad you've found a friend. But I hope he's not the only friend."

Kathryn looked up. "So do I."

For a moment, just a moment, their eyes locked, then Chakotay gestured to the bottle he was holding.

"Cabernet sauvignon. Real not replicated. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

Kathryn put down Chancer, who wasn't as freaked out by Chakotay's familar presence as Hazel had feared, and got to her feet.

"And tonight is a special occasion?"

Chakotay nodded. "Our last in the deadzone. I've just had word from B'Elanna and we finally have a cloak. That means it's Operation Crab tomorrow."

"I see. Excellent."

"The cloak will only hold for ten minutes at a time, but that should suffice."

"More than. I've made far riskier escapes with much less."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "Riskier than the deadzone at warp?"

"Oh, yes. The devil's eye at maximum."

"Wow. That's impressive. Not even seasoned captains would dare!"

"Well, when it's dare or die, you dare."

Chakotay laughed. "Good point."

"But you're right. It's not for the faint hearted. And it earned me a promotion."

"I can't say I'm surprised. More feats like that and you'll be an admiral within a decade!"

"I hope not. How dull! But come on, we have a dinner to eat."

"And it smells delicious," Chakotay said as they left the room. "Nutroast?"

"That's right. Fresh out of the oven. For sides there's pasta, spiced veg, and salad."

"You've been busy"

"Oh, I can only take credit for the nutroast. Everything else is replicated." She gestured to the table. "Please, sit." Then, to Chakotay's amusement, she laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Me," she replied. "Acting like I own this place. I'm the guest and this your ship. Forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive. I'm glad you feel at home."

"I do. Strange, isn't it? I should be counting the days until we're back in safe space, and I was at first, but now I'll be kind of sorry to leave."

Chakotay could tell from the way she said those words that the sentiment was genuine. And he felt the same. He was falling in love with her, a little more each day, and he didn't want to part with her.

"You don't have to leave," he said. "You're welcome to stay."

Kathryn smiled. "And be a Maquis?"

"If you want. You'd be a good one."

"Thank you. And I can't say I'm not tempted. I think your cause is just. But I have a life to get back to."

"I know," he said sadly. "But you can't blame me for trying. I really enjoy your company and...and I feel like I've known you forever."

He looked deep into her eyes, and Kathryn could hardly breathe. She felt the same. Felt for him what she hadn't felt since Justin. The attraction between them was powerful, almost hypnotic, and yet, at the same time, she felt completely comfortable in his presence, as though she was in the presence of a friend. It was like they belonged together.

If only they did.

For the situation was hopeless. He was a Maquis warrior and she a Starfleet officer. Their worlds could never collide.

"I feel that too," she said. "And I wish...Well, I wish things were different."

"Me too."

They gazed into each other's eyes, losing themselves, but a sudden shake of the ship brought them back to reality.

"What was that?" Kathryn asked.

"I don't know," Chakotay replied. "But I mean to find out." He hit his commbadge. "Chakotay to the bridge. Report."

"No cause for alarm, Sir," B'Elanna answered. "We're just passing through an intense electrical storm. We'll be through it in an hour. Two at the most."

"Acknowledged. Chakotay out."

There was another jolt and Kathryn almost lost her footing.

"That's what I get for saying I'll be sorry to leave," she said, "a full on electrical storm."

"It'll soon pass. But I'm sure it's spectacular to behold. Shall I open the blind?"

"No!" Kathryn cried instinctively. Then, feeling foolish, she tried to justify her outburst. "I mean... the flashes are annoying and...and the table is reflective."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow, eyes twinkling. "The table is matt black."

Kathryn pretended to look. "Really? Matt black? I thought it was glass!"

Chakotay smiled, unable to resist the tease. "Not a brontophobic, are you?"

"Me?" Kathryn exclaimed, mortified that her only irrational fear had been discovered, "a brontophobic? Don't be ridiculous."

"You are," he laughed. "I can tell."

"Oh, really? Brontophobia is the fear of thunder. I'm not afraid of thunder."

"And of lightning."

"I think you'll find that's astrophobia. And I'm not afraid of anything astro."

"Semantics, Kathryn Janeway. Astrophobia and brontophobia are the same thing."

"They are not. Two different words, two different meanings."

"Like starship and spaceship?"

Kathryn curled her lip, as amused as she was annoyed, and then opened the bottle of cabernet sauvignon.

"I'm not going to argue," she said, filling their glasses. "Think what you like. I know better."

Chakotay said nothing, despite his urge too, and just watched as she sat down and picked up a carving knife.

"Now, shall I carve up the roast?"

"Yes, please," he replied.

Kathryn set about the task, digging the knife into the roast and slicing, but halfway down she stopped and groaned.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked.

"The damn roast!" she cried. "The middle's as hard as a brick!"

Chakotay could only laugh.

"And it's not funny, Mr Chakotay. I've slaved over it for hours!"

"Evidently hours too long."

"You think it's my fault? You think I overcooked it? No, Siree! I followed the instructions to the letter! It's your oven's fault!"

"How do you figure that?"

"Because the damn thing has microwaved my baby instead of roasting it!"

"Sure you didn't set it to part both?"

"Part both? You mean it has that option?"

"Yes, and is set to automatically. Didn't you check?"

"No. I just assumed that..." Then she was laughing too. "Oh, trust me for that! I can't cook to save my life, even from a packet!"

"You made it from a packet?"

"My only hope of making something half decent."

"Well, you succeeded," he teased. "It's half decent."

Kathryn almost scowled. "Recycler decent. And that's where it's going right now!"

"I'm sure we can salvage some of it."

"Some of it is not enough for hungry bellies!"

With that, she got up, took the roast over to the recycler, and recycled it. Then she replicated a fresh one and made her way back to the table. However, just as she was about to sit down, the ship shook and the dish slipped out of her hands and crashed to the floor.

"Oh, no!" she cried. "Dammit!"

Chakotay roared with laughter.

"And there you go again!" she exclaimed. "Laughing! No matter that invaluable resources have been wasted!"

"You worry too much about that, Kathryn."

"And you not enough! Only yesterday you let Seska replicate herself ten gold bracelets. What in the universe does she need with ten gold bracelets?"

"It was actually ten dozen," he declared. "For the beast we have downdeck that eats them."

"Very funny, Mr Chakotay."

"It's true. The beast's our warp core and it devours them. The how and they why are a long story."

"Hmmm, well, maybe someday you'll tell it me. But, right now, I could do with some assistance. Specifically, a vaporiser. Could you?"

"Replicate one? What about our invaluable resources?"

"With me on board, do you think it's not worth its weight in dilithium crystals? Besides, I've already replicated one. Center cupboard, top drawer, next to the rolling pin."

Chakotay went to get it and found, to his amusement, that everything in the drawer was neatly placed in order of size.

"Thank you," Kathryn said when he handed it to her. "But what's so funny now?"

His amusement was obvious.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Something. Tell me."

But before Chakotay could speak the ship shook again with an intense lightning bolt. Then, seconds later, there was a loud bleep.

"What now?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh, nothing for you to worry about," Kathryn replied, glad the blind was still shut. "It's a Chancer alert."

"Chancer alert?"

Kathryn nodded. "I've put a collar on him that tells me when he's gone into a hatch. He hasn't for days, but with this storm, who can blame him?"

Chakotay's eyes twinkled. "Not a brontophobic."

Kathryn pretended not to hear that and began to vaporize the nutroast.

"Instead of just standing there," she said, "you might want to make yourself useful and replicate another roast."

"Yes, Ma'am," Chakotay teased. "Which would you prefer? With cranberry or tomato sauce?"

"Tomato, I think. No, make it cranberry. I love cranberries."

"Then cranberry it is."

While Chakotay replicated the nutroast, Kathryn finished vaporizing. Then, when the old roast was gone and the new in place, she returned the device to the drawer and joined Chakotay at the table.

"Mmmm, smells delicious," she said, sitting. "Every bit as delicious as my real deal...if you can call a packet the real deal. Which begs the question of why bother cooking in the first place? No one can tell the difference between replicated and real, anyway!"

"In your case, indeed why bother?" Chakotay joked. Then he fell serious. "But I'm sure you'll make a fine meal of the crab tomorrow."

There was such sincerity in those words, such faith, that they touched Kathryn's heart. Her heart that was more his by the second. But if they succeeded, and they would, it would not be a solo triumph. It would be a joint victory.

"Thank you," she smiled. "But we'll succeed together. You, me, and your crew."

"I don't doubt it. I just wish...well, that it doesn't have to mean goodbye."

At that, Kathryn reached for his hand. "So do I. But it doesn't have to mean an immediate goodbye. It could take us days to find a Starfleet ship. Besides, we have a chess game to finish and I never leave a chess game unfinished."

Chakotay smiled, eyes moist, and squeezed her hand, her precious hand in his. "Is that a promise? You'll stay till we finish?"

Kathryn nodded. "It's a promise."

END OF CHAPTER TEN