"Tell me not to. Tell me that you love me too much to let me go. Tell me that you need me, that you need my love. Hell just tell me no." She pleaded with him as tears ran down her face. She seemed so tiny standing there in front of him, her lower lip trembling as her usually tame hair whipped around in the wind. Her mascara smeared as if she were Courtney Love. "Just tell me no and I won't do it."
He let out a shaky breath he hadn't realize he'd been holding. He fought the urge to reach out and tame her wild locks. He hated himself for what he was going to have to say. "You know I can't do that. I can't tell you no. I can't let you do that. Your family needs you."
"But I need you."
"You'll move on. Michael is a good man. He'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He'll give you a good life and most importantly your family will be safe, Johnny will be safe." Ric wanted so desperately to be selfish. He wanted to pull her to him and kiss away the tears. He loved her with everything he had but he knew they couldn't be together. He refused to be Romeo and Juliet.
She stood there for a moment just letting his words sink in. She let out a deep breath. She knew what he was saying was right. She nodded and then leaned in to him. "Can I just have one last kiss to last me the rest of my life?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and hoarse from all the tears.
He smiled sadly and then bent down to place a gentle kiss upon her lips. He silently watched as she made her way inside to call her father. He sighed as he felt his heart break.
The memory had been playing over and over again in Ric's mind since the moment he walked into his old bedroom the night before. Now sitting on the back porch, the exact spot where the memory had taken place, he felt his heart break again. In the hours, days, weeks, months, and even years after that memory took place he still found it painful to think of her, of this place, of the Zacchara family. Once she married Michael, he found it too hard to be around the only family he'd ever known. Over the course of the last ten years he'd had his share of his highs and lows but nothing that really made him feel the way he had felt before saying goodbye to her.
"What're you thinking about?" Johnny asked quietly as he sat down in the empty seat next to Ric. He'd forgotten just how much of a morning person Ric had always been.
Ric smiled sadly. "Not thinking as much as remembering."
"I guessed as much. There's something unsettling about all the memories buried in the walls of this old place."
"Is Lulu still asleep?"
Johnny nodded and grinned. "Yeah she's pretty tuckered out from the long trip. Thank you for bringing her."
"It was nice not to have to do the trip by myself. Makes flying a little less boring. How long have you two been…?"
"Uh not long I guess. I'm not sure. You know how it is. Plus she's got an asshole waiting for her back in Port Charles." Johnny frowned at the thought of Logan. How someone could hurt her so badly and then still feel as though he deserved her blew his mind.
"It seems to me that if she really cared about him, she wouldn't be upstairs right now." Ric pointed out. "But then again what do I know?"
Johnny looked over at Ric and saw for the first time just how tired he looked. His eyes which when he had been younger were the same shade of blue as the Mediterranean now seemed dim. His stubble, which had always made him seem older, now made him appear disheveled. It was almost as if he was a shadow of his former self. He had been so young when everything had happened. He hadn't really understood the gravity of the situation. In all actuality all he knew was that one day his sister was dating Ric and the next she was marrying Michael Barony. It wasn't until now upon looking back that he realized just how dramatic and difficult the situation had been. Life had been tense in a way he had never experienced before. Bullets, curse words, and death threats were flying. Security had been at least doubled. At the time he'd only been twelve years old, all of it was lost on him. "It never occurred to me how much things changed that year. I mean things happened but it was like I had all these pieces to the puzzle and it took me ten years to put them together."
"You were twelve Johnny. You were kept in the dark on purpose. Children aren't supposed to worry about half the shit you would have had to worry about. Between my father's stupidly starting shit with the Marquez', you father's mental stability or rather instability, and then your sister and I trying to keep you safe everything was just so wrong. You think you're screwed up now Johnny? Imagine what you would have been like if we hadn't kept you in the dark that year?"
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Lulu woke up to the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. At first she thought she must have fallen asleep to one of those relaxation cds, but upon further inspection of her surroundings she remembered where exactly she was. She couldn't help but smile as last night flooded back to her. If their first kiss had made her melt this one had woken up a passion in her she thought had disappeared. The desire was so strong that last night it had taken a lot of self control to pull herself away from him. There was just something about Johnny. She knew he was bad for her. She really did. She knew that by being with him she was putting herself at risk. A life with him would be a life full of secrets, but that didn't sway her from wanting to be with him. She slowly got out of bed and walked to the window. She smiled when she saw him sitting on the back porch with Ric. Of all the things the two of them had talked about the night before, how exactly he knew Ric had not been one of those things. She watched them for a minute longer before turning and getting in the shower.
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Logan walked into Kelly's expecting to find her looking bored behind the counter. He frowned though when he instead found Georgie's head buried in a text book. He checked his watch to make sure that it was indeed time for her shift. "Where's Lulu?"
Georgie's head shot up. She frowned at the sight of him. She was less than a fan of Logan Hayes. "I don't know. She just told Mike that she was going to be taking time off and that he should probably find someone else to take over for her. Don't you live together?"
"Yeah and she didn't come home last night and no one has seen her all day." At first Logan had been worried but at this point he was just flat out pissed. Whatever this game was she was playing it was wearing on his nerves.
Georgie had heard through the grapevines that Lulu had disappeared last night with Ric. Coop had been telling Maxie about how Ric had quit soon after Lulu came in. While she may have known all of this she didn't feel like sharing it with Logan. Let him find this stuff out on his own. "Well I don't know what to tell you other than I'm covering her shifts until Mike finds someone new."
Logan shoved his hands in his pockets and then let Kelly's just as suddenly as he had shown up. He figured Luke was his next best shot. If only he knew that there was a note sitting on his kitchen table waiting for him.
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He stood outside her door wondering whether or not he should knock and risk waking her up. He sighed and knocked, figuring she wouldn't want to sleep away the day. When she didn't answer he decided to just go ahead in. The first thing he saw upon entering the room was not her sleeping in bed but rather towel drying her hair in nothing but a towel. He blushed like a schoolboy dealing with his first crush. He started to just back out of the room but that was the exact moment she decided to look up. She screamed. He cringed. "I'm sorry. I was just…I thought…I didn't know you were awake and well in a towel."
Lulu self consciously held the cream towel tighter to her body. "It's uh okay."
"Well yeah I was just coming to see if you were awake because I thought we'd go sailing today but yeah I'll leave now. See you downstairs."
She watched him leave and let out a flustered sigh which soon turned into laughter. His face was priceless. She knew that ten years from now this would be a moment she'd use to tease him with. She got up off of the bed and tried to figure out what exactly you wear when you sail.
I realize that there was very little Johnny and Lulu in there but that was for a reason. I needed to progress the story. So you probably have some questions brewing and I'm excited about that prospect. I'm sorry it took me forever to update. It's all Sarah Dessen's fault. I had to read Just Listen before I could focus on anything else. Thanks for reading. Please review. I'll update as soon as possible.