The room they were allotted in the palace was just as grand as one would expect. Plush furs and fine silks lined the beds, a crackling fire pit inlaid into the floor to keep the room warm, and a grandiosely decorated stained glass door that opened to a balcony overlooking the city.

Under normal circumstances, Jude would be delighted to be staying in such fine quarters during a bleak, snowy night. But he had been ordered to stay put, to not leave his room for his own safety; a command handed down from Gaius upon further explanation of the risk Jude faced by simply being out in the open. Above all, Jude hated to sit around when he could be helping, but that was exactly what he was told to do.

It gave him too much time to think about what was going to happen after they completed their task. Once the lance was gone, would his job remain? He could only imagine what sort of story Balan and Mary were fed to keep things under wraps. They likely thought him just a crazed researcher that had gone off the deep end due to stress. Did they know about the Otherworld Reactor Plan? Were they aware of where their research was going? And even if he was allowed to come back, how much of their funding would be cut after Exodus was removed from the picture? Would they even be able to continue their research? How far up the chain did Exodus have ties?

Though his future as a researcher hung in the balance, Jude's mind continued to drift to issues closer to home. Namely Alvin, his involvement with Exodus, and what he would do when this was all over. Jude recalled the letter from the archive, the name listed there. Gilandor Yul Svent… Svent wasn't a common name from what he knew, so the leader was likely a direct relation to Alvin. Whom and how close, Jude wasn't sure, but he obviously had enough pull in Alvin's life to tie him up in the sordid path of crime and deception.

Regardless of their relation, Alvin was just as likely to suffer the consequences of his betrayal as any other member of such a dangerous organization. Imprisonment, torture, execution… Jude shuddered to think what outcome Alvin would face if and when he was found. But Alvin must have known the dangers, and despite this he still volunteered to join up with the Chimeriad in searching for the lance's location, leaving Jude to wallow in his own thoughts for the time being.

He hated it, feeling so useless as he did, but Rowen's words as they were splitting up still remained in the forefront of his mind. "You are the one they are after, and it is your knowledge that will mean the difference between their success and failure."

And yet he couldn't remain inside as he was told. The room he was allotted was cozy, but in his current state it felt stifling, claustrophobic. As anxious as he was, he couldn't keep still, and being in such an enclosed space was only making him agitated. It was this that led him outside, standing out on the frost-covered balcony, watching the snow drift down from grey clouds in the night. He told himself it was only for a few moments. He'd be safe if it was only a little while, right?

It was freezing, his breath puffing into white clouds before his face as specks of white powdered his hair. But the frigid temperatures kept him awake and alert; the last thing Jude wanted to do right now was to sleep when his companions were in danger.

With a sigh he leaned against the railing, wondering where the others were, if they were safe, if they had found anything useful. Rowen had said that they split up to check out some leads Alvin had drummed up from his contacts. Where those contacts came from remained a mystery, but Jude had to remind himself that this was the best way, and that he needed to trust Alvin on this.

Trust Alvin…

"I thought people from Leronde hated the cold?"

The decadent voice came seemingly from nowhere, and a blur of blue and black landed expertly on the railing. Jude gave a startled yelp before stumbling back, nearly losing his footing on the slick stone. Presa laughed through her nose at his reaction, delicately stepping off the railing and onto the balcony proper.

"P-please don't scare me like that." Jude rattled, taking a slow, deep breath to calm his already harried nerves. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed this woman had it out for him. Perhaps she did, judging from her incessant teasing since their first meeting.

Presa regarded him with a tilt of her chin before leaning against the railing herself, looking out over the city dotted with lamplight. "My lead didn't check out, but the others are still looking." She paused, glancing his way again, expectant. "Alvin's out there as well. I imagine we will hear from them by morning."

"So still no sign of the Lance of Kresnik…" Jude took his spot near the railing again, regarding Presa curiously. This woman… Even if she was not involved in the situation that forced Jude from his job and home on this wild goose chase, she seemed intimately aware of the situation they were facing. They all did, now that the thought of it. How long had they been watching Exodus, waiting for them to make a move? Was it their own observations or Alvin's intel that gave them the information needed?

In the end, he looked to Presa for answers. "How much do you know about what happened to me?"

"A fair amount." She answered nonchalantly. "I know that Alvin was hired to keep your research going while masquerading as your bodyguard, and I heard about the events that were staged in order to facilitate your escape." She paused, her expression suddenly growing grim. "I have to say I'm disappointed. This scenario is certainly not his best work. He's become sloppy in his age."

"Scenario?" Jude repeated, bordering on feeling offended. "Are you saying it's all an act?"

"You believe it isn't?" Presa countered, and Jude had to take a moment to consider her words. Yes, much of what happened was planned to gain his trust and cooperation, but even so, the emotions displayed said otherwise; his own feelings weren't an act, and neither were Alvin's.

Right?

Jude didn't want to believe that Alvin was acting. He wanted to believe that those times of comfort and tenderness, the raw emotions displayed in their moments of weakness were just as genuine as Jude's own feelings. After all they had gone through, Alvin wouldn't be lying about this, would he?

But Presa had thought the same thing before, right? When it was Alvin and her, save that they were more deeply involved than he and Jude. And she had been left behind, betrayed. Had she seen it coming or was she taken by surprise? Was that why she was being so cold about it?

"…Presa, what happened between you and Alvin?" The question left his lips before he had time to consider the consequences of his words. Presa looked at him, shocked, as if she too had not expected such a bold question from the purportedly shy boy.

And yet she smiled, resting her elbows against the balcony as she spoke. "I suppose it's only right to tell you, considering."

Jude wasn't sure what she was considering, but stood quietly and let her speak regardless.

"Alvin and I were both on assignments. At the time I was working for a small rebel group, gathering intel on the soldiers that would pass through Talim. I met Alvin, he was a soldier, and a handsome one at that." She looked off in the distance, hand resting against her cheek, wistfully recalling better times. "I hadn't told him of my mission; to him, I was merely Mink the secretary he had fallen into bed with. But seeing him every day, his charm, his smile, his strength… It was hard not to fall for him. He swept me off my feet with pretty words and promises of a brighter future."

Presa straightened, bracing both hands against the railing as she recounted her tale. "When he proposed to me, I thought: This is it. I can get out. I can live happily… I came clean, I told him everything. I wanted no secrets between us. And he understood, accepted me fully…" Her expression grew dark, as did her story. "Then he sold me out to the Rashugal army and had me thrown into jail."

"He turned you in?" Jude had heard at least this part from Alvin. He had called it an act of self-preservation, that her feeding information about him and his fellow soldiers put him in danger. But if that were the case, couldn't it have been done differently? He loved her, right? And she loved him… They could have ran, or at least in an ideal world that was an option. Jude had never considered himself the type to think that love conquered all, and yet…

Presa sighed, brushing back a strand of hair as a means of composing herself. "I was… coerced to give up the information I had gathered. My old group almost didn't want me back after that. I had been compromised, I couldn't be trusted. I'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere if it weren't for Gaius…" Her arms were crossed over her chest as she turned to face Jude, seemingly gauging his reaction. "Meanwhile, Alvin had moved onto his next mission, leaving no ties to the men he sold me out to."

"That's…" Awful, horrible, inhumane. So many words to describe, and yet he couldn't bring himself to actually voice them. Was it because it was Alvin they were talking about?

Presa shook her head, cutting Jude off before he could speak. "You can see why I was so upset to be called on after so many years, as if the situation meant nothing to him. Even now, I feel like I was only worth the bounty on my head to him."

The two were silent, Jude having to process this information. While the details of her story were different, the situation as a whole sounded so similar to his own. In spite of himself, Jude had fallen for Alvin. His kindness, his laugh, the way he would dote on him and joke around. The way he'd call him kid and worry over him constantly even when Jude insisted he was fine. Those nights they spent at each other's side, just existing together…

Were these the things that Presa felt four years ago? The same qualities that Alvin had displayed to gain her trust and affection? Had Alvin known of Presa's mission all along, or had he truly been sideswiped by her confession to the point that he felt compelled to tell his superiors?

And for that matter, why was Presa telling him all this? To divulge something so personal to someone you had only met a few hours ago, and had only seen in passing before. Was it because of Jude's involvement with Alvin, whom she had seen firsthand how crooked and dangerous he was? An attempt to scare him away? Or… Was she trying to prevent another tragedy from unfolding?

Suddenly Presa's words held a purpose in Jude's mind. "You think the same thing will happen to me, don't you?"

The woman nodded, canting her hips to the side. "You're just a child, Jude. You don't know what it's like to be strung along, to think you were part of something profound, only to find out you were used."

"But I do." Jude interrupted. "I do know what that's like."

Once again Presa was caught off-guard by the boy's words, but her shock was quickly masked by a quirked brow and a sardonic smirk. "Do you now?"

Jude nodded. "All this time, I thought I was working to help save the people of Elympios, but then this whole thing with Exodus… All my research into safely harnessing spirit energy was going into the weapon to annihilate my own people, and I hadn't a clue." To say it out loud still hurt, but Jude continued, determined to prove that he wasn't just some inexperienced child blind to the ways of the world. "It may not have been by someone I loved, but I was used, and that's why I'm here, making sure they don't do it again to me or anyone else."

Presa gazed upon him, shock fading into satisfaction as she chuckled lightly into her hand. "I see why Alvin has become attached to you… Your convictions…"

Jude could feel his ears burn. Alvin was… attached? Somehow that conflicted with everything Presa had said to him so far. "I… I don't understand. Weren't you just saying he was acting?"

"I never said that." She stated bluntly, running finely manicured fingers through her pale locks. "I merely stated that his scenario was sloppy. He was careless, getting so attached to his target."

"You tricked me." Jude stated with a huff. No wonder this woman did so well as a spy; she played him like a fiddle. Or was she merely testing his faith in Alvin?

The woman chuckled, turning to lean against the railing once more. "Alvin is… Kind, but he doesn't trust people. It's not that anyone gives him a reason to; it's just that he chooses to distance himself. He used to say he couldn't connect on that level, that it took a special person for him to tell anything to." Presa glanced to Jude, smiling almost sadly. "Even when we were in love, I found him hard to read. I could never really tell what he was thinking. But I was okay with that, because I had secrets myself…"

There was comfort in knowing that even those close to Alvin knew little about him. But her words begged the question; did Alvin trust him? He… wanted to trust Alvin more than anything. He wanted to think he had changed, that he really was trying to get out of that life and start over. But Presa's words once again cast doubt on those ever wavering convictions of his, and Jude found it difficult to voice these fears.

"Jude." Presa called him from his thoughts, her eyes seemingly staring right into his soul. "Do yourself a favor and don't get further involved with Alvin until this is all over. You never know where a turncoat stands until they show their hand."

Her words shouldn't have come as a shock, yet Jude found himself taken aback by them never the less. "You think that Alvin might turn against us?"

She shook her head, pushing away from the balcony and heading for the door. "I can't say, and that alone is cause for concern. Alvin sides with himself above anyone else." She looked his way, her eyes a warning. "Do not repeat my mistakes, little Judy."

"J-Judy…" Jude sputtered and Presa laughed. She definitely got a kick from getting a rise out of the boy.

The glass doors were pushed open and Presa entered the room, brushing the snow from her hair and onto the stone floor. "I must report to Gaius of my findings."

"Will they find the lance in time?" He asked, following her into the room.

"I'm certain something will be found. No one can hide from the Chimeriad at full force."

Jude wanted to express his relief, but his mind was still stuck on the conversation they had on the balcony. So much had been revealed, and yet the information only brought more questions. Alvin's loyalties and where they lay. The fate of Exodus and the man that Jude had come to love. Whether Alvin had placed any trust in him…

Instead of any of those queries, he spoke the first one that came to mind.

"Presa, do you still love Alvin?"

The woman paused, and without turning to face Jude she merely snorted, arms crossed. "Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. I don't trust Alvin, and you shouldn't either." Such strong words, and spoken with so little bite… Perhaps she still held feelings for him after all.

"Get some sleep, Jude. We will move as soon as we have information."

And with that she pushed past the heavy oak doors into the main hall, leaving Jude to mull over the facts he had been given. He should have been thinking of their next move, what he would do once they found Exodus's hideout, or trying to figure out where the lance was being kept, yet all he could think about were Alvin and Presa's words. Trust, attachment, dedication… Did Alvin even trust him? Would Alvin abandon what ties he had made with Jude for the sake of saving his own skin? Would he turn him in to Exodus, just as he had turned Presa in for the bounty on her head?

Too many unanswered questions, none that he had any hope of resolving without Alvin at his side. She said not to trust him, and yet, Jude did indisputably. And Jude wanted it to be mutual. He wanted Alvin to rely on him just as he had for the last few months. He wanted to bridge the gap between his painful past and the brighter future, offer Alvin a means to start a new life free of those ties that held him to Exodus.

But could he? Would Alvin even allow it? Or would he run, just as Presa thought he would?

Nothing would be answered by simply repeating the questions to himself. He needed to speak to Alvin on this when the time was right. For now, however, they needed to focus on their mission; it was the only way for any of them to get out of the situation they were stuck in. If they just kept going, then Alvin would have the chance to start over with his life, and Jude would be able to continue on his path.

Jude lay upon one of the plush beds, hoping to get some rest. And yet, as expected, his mind would not allow him such luxury. He merely remained motionless, staring at the whirling snow that filtered past the decorative window, wondering if the others were out in it, or if their leads had brought them to warmer climes.

He wondered what Alvin was doing, if he was staying true to his own convictions and doing what he could to help them.

"Alvin sides with himself above anyone else."

So if it came down to self-preservation… Would Alvin betray us? Would he leave everything we've worked for and just…

The heavy door opened, a sliver of torchlight cast upon his still form. Jude froze in place, half-expecting a hostile party, only to be greeted by a familiar voice.

"You awake, kid?"

Alvin called from the entryway, yet Jude did not answer, only continued to lie quietly. Jude suspected he'd leave if he gave no response, feigning unconsciousness as an excuse to save his words. But instead of the expected silence, Jude felt the mattress dip, Alvin taking a seat on the opposite side.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry… For everything." The man recited the words as if he had been practicing them all day, as if he was finding relief in an audience that was supposedly not awake to question him. "When this is all said and done, I promise to never trouble you again… When Gilland is gone, I'm going to bow out of your life, everyone's lives…"

So this is it. Jude thought, trying to keep his breath even, his body completely still through Alvin's confession. He's really running away. Somehow he hoped that Alvin would reconsider his plan, come back with him to Trigleph and let things go back to how they were before. Before the incident at the lab, before Exodus sent them running and shattered what hopes Jude held for their future.

"I don't know where I'll be going, or if I'll ever come back but… I just can't do this anymore." He sighed, and Jude felt the bed shift once again, and a warm hand came to rest gently on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jude. It's better for you this way."

It's better this way? How is it better?

You could stay, we could figure this out... If you're not happy with where you are, then let's change it. Let me help you. Isn't that a better idea? But… that's not an option to you, is it?

No, you want to run. You want to cut ties. But why do you speak as though you're marching to your death? You… You don't think you can be saved, do you? You don't think you can come back from all of this whole.

So many things he could say, yet with a broken voice Jude spoke only one. "It's hard for you, isn't it?" He reached up to gently grip Alvin's hand, causing the older man to flinch. "To get close to others? To rely on them?"

"Jude…" Alvin attempted to pull his hand away, as if having his confession heard had thrown his confidence completely off-kilter. Yet Jude would not allow him to run, not when this could be their last night together, their last chance to speak of their feelings.

Jude gently laced his fingers in Alvin's as he spoke. "Then… Do what you need to do…" It hurt. It hurt so badly to hear that he was going to disappear, that he would never see him again. He didn't want Alvin to leave, but Jude couldn't force him to stay either. It would be selfish to demand that of the older man, so in the end, he wished to at least close the last door.

"Alvin, do you trust me?" He asked quietly, his grip on Alvin's hand tightening if only to prevent him from fleeing before his query had been answered.

Alvin remained silent for what felt like ages, and Jude didn't think his heart could hurt more from the lack of answer. Then, the man spoke again. "Yeah, I do. I know you'll make things right. That's your mission, after all."

Jude had thought those words would lessen the tightness in his chest, but it only served to coil it up more. He wanted to cry, but held it in, squeezing back the tears along with the urge to throw his arms around Alvin and beg him to stay at his side.

He couldn't do it. It would be selfish to tether that man when he so desperately wanted to get away. Jude could only make the most of this night, and hope that it would be enough to ease his aching heart.

"Then… Will you stay with me tonight?"

It took a long moment for Alvin to respond, and Jude feared that he would decline, choosing to spend the night on his own like he had been. But after another long moment, Alvin complied, finally pulling his hand away and settling down to rest at Jude's back.

One could call it desperation or even impulse, but Jude felt no reason to justify turning over and pressing himself to Alvin's chest, burying his face in his shirt. This was their last night, and he wasn't going to try and hide his feelings anymore; fear, longing, uncertainty, love… He could not put them into words, but he wanted to convey them with at least this action.

Alvin seemed to understand these unspoken words, wrapping his arms around Jude and holding him tightly, shielding him from the cold and his own thoughts. He needed it. They both needed it, and it was a wonder it took so long for either to act on it.

As Jude finally began to succumb to his exhaustion, he muttered a quiet thank you against Alvin's chest. He hoped it was heard.