Everything was quiet, peaceful.
He felt as though he was floating, unable to control his body, or what remained. Weightless, yet wholly unable to move, drifting aimlessly with the ebb and flow of an unseen tide. But Jude did not feel pain, the lack of discomfort both calming and alarming to him in his current state. He had been injured badly, hadn't he? Shot, bleeding out, caught in that explosion. He vaguely recalled fighting, falling, dying, death… He was dead, wasn't he? It felt… Not in any way he would have imagined. There was no fear, no dread to fill his chest, only all-encompassing darkness to engulf him.
Just nothing; a void, an abyss that wrapped him in cool arms as he continued drifting alone with only his scattered thoughts to occupy his time.
I wonder if the others were able to escape…
Others, who all was there? There were people who were needed, ones he trusted, weren't there? Jude tried to place the faces, pin the names, and yet found he could not even recall who stood at his side in those final moments. Were they friends? Allies? Enemies? Mentally he reached for them, yet the more he tried the further away they felt, as if the very act of recalling them was too much for his already weakened consciousness to handle.
Were there others? Was there… Anyone? Has there ever been anyone?
Jude tried to pull his head together, grasping for his thoughts, only to have them slip between his fingers as if he were grabbing at his own reflection in a pond. His home, his family, loved ones, the events that led to his demise… Everything that shaped him into the person he was, all dissipating, becoming one with the darkness around him, lost to the abyss.
The sensation that overcame him could only be described as fading, the very essence of his being coming undone, unraveling and taking everything he was with it. Soon, he realized, there would be nothing left of him; his soul would become one with the abyss, and that would be the end of it.
The "Jude" he was would cease to be.
This fact should have alarmed him, terrified him so deeply that he'd struggle, beg and plead to remain whole. And yet Jude didn't feel the need. He felt himself beckoned, pulled further and further into the infinite nothingness.
"Do not struggle."
A voice carried across his thoughts, calming and child-like.
"I am here to end your pain, the suffering you endured in your life."
My pain… Was I in pain? I can't…
"Soon your soul will be cleansed and you will be created anew."
Created anew… Oh, but… What will happen to me then?
"Your rebirth, a new beginning. A new life to start again."
I… That sounds… Nice…
"Don't give in."
"Soon you will know no pain, no hardship…"
I… I'd like that… I don't want to…
"It is not your time to go."
"A chance to live happily, far removed from those who have hurt you before…"
I… I don't want to be hurt anymore… I want…
"Don't you have a mission to fulfill?"
A sudden flash and Jude was no longer floating, instead lying curled upon something cool and hard. The ground, he realized, but try as he might he hadn't the strength to open his eyes and survey the area around him. He sensed someone nearby, no, several someones, all standing around him where he lay.
The echoing clack of heels against stone, the shuffling of fabric, and then, a soft touch, fingers tracing across his jaw line. Was the void brighter? Had it been bright all along?
"You're a strange human, aren't you?" The voice, a woman, spoke tersely as she sat at his side. "Struggling to gain the trust of others, yet you continue striving to help the people who harmed you."
Strange… Jude repeated in his own head, unable to speak just yet. I guess that is strange.
"I must ask you." The woman began again, a gloved hand resting against his shoulder. "Why was it you tried so hard for people who cared so little? They destroyed their world, then sought aid from you without a single ounce of thanks." Her voice was stern, the faintest hint of malice. "Would it not be easier to let them live with their mistakes? To save yourself the heartache such endeavors wrought?"
"That's…" Jude mumbled, his voice slowly coming back to him. "I… I wasn't asking for thanks… I just…" Just what? The woman was right; it would have been so much easier to have just dropped the project after Professor Haus died. No one would have blamed him for wanting out after watching his mentor murdered. Or when he was attacked in the square, or his apartment broken into… So many times he could have quit, left the work for someone else and avoided all the pain he had gone through, and not a single person would wrong him for it. He was just a kid, a scared kid who just wanted to do right.
But that was just it, wasn't it? He wanted to do right. He wanted to help and that was why he stayed. It didn't matter that no one thanked him, nor that people still scorned him for being a Rieze Maxian in Elympios. He just wanted… "…I wanted to help them. The Elympions… They're afraid to lose the life they know… And… Even if they're afraid of me… I want to help them… So we…" People flitted across his mind, faces that started to come into view, names like whispers in his ears. Memories, emotions, the reasons, his mission.
"I want to help… So everyone… can live peacefully…"
That was his mission.
Something feather soft ghosted across his face, tickling his nose, and the woman laughed quietly. "You truly love this world, don't you?"
Jude couldn't tell if he was smiling, so unsure was he of his own form in that moment. "Yes… I do love this world…"
He felt himself lifted into warm arms, his face nestled against the woman's bosom, like a mother would a child. "That is what I wished to hear…" Lips pressed against his forehead, a warmth unlike any he had felt before radiating from the touch. After another small struggle, Jude finally cracked his eyes open. The world was too bright, nearly blinding, but he could just make out the face of the person holding him. Blonde hair, brilliant eyes, a knowing smile. Jude knew not her name, but his heart leapt at the very image. Beautiful, enough so to be a goddess…
"You…"
She silenced him one gloved finger against his lips. "It's time to go back, Jude." The arms left him, yet he did not fall as the world around him began to fade again. "I look forward to the day that you restore balance to that world."
Jude reached for her, hand just barely caressing the woman's as he fell. He called out, wanting answers; who was she, where was she going, what was going to happen to him. But his voice had abandoned him once more.
As the world went out around him, she just smiled, fading too as she spoke her last words;
"Do not forget your mission."
He felt his body being yanked violently, swept up in the forces of the tide, and the pain hit him so suddenly that he gasped, choking on saltwater and brine.
Then, nothing.
His head hurt.
That was the first thought that entered Jude's mind as he blinked into waking, eyes trying to focus on his surroundings as they came into view. A shelf overstuffed with books against the wall, family photos set on the side table, depicting a mother and child smiling happily. A window adorned with white curtains, swaying gently with the ocean breeze, the sound of seagulls coming in from the coast…
Leronde.
Home.
He was home.
He was alive.
Jude lifted his hand to touch his forehead, a task that was proving far more difficult than he originally anticipated. He noted bandages along his arms, more wrapped about his head. And if the tightness around his stomach was any indication, he had plenty more there as well. His injuries had been seen to, but the questions remained; where were the others? How did he survive? That woman… Did she have something to do with this?
"You're awake."
Jude jolted, head whipping to the side almost too fast for his vision to keep up. Sitting upon a chair next to the bed was Presa, dressed much more conservatively than last he saw her. But unlike last time, she didn't wear that teasing, all-knowing grin, but a grave look of concern aimed his way.
"I'm…" Jude pressed at his forehead, trying to calm the ache that was already threatening to worsen with the effort of speaking alone. "I'm… How did I…"
"Your answer is as good as mine. To be honest, we thought you were lost when the lance self-destructed." Presa rose to her feet, grabbing a remote from the shelf and clicking on the small television set that had been placed on the desk. From his spot on the bed Jude could just barely see a news program, photos of smoking debris floating along with the tides taken from an airship, the ticker reading 'Terrorist Attack Thwarted: Spirius Under Fire'.
"This is all that's been on since the incident. Elympions do so love their scandals…" Presa set the remote down, taking a seat once again. "You were fortunate to have survived at all. The explosion decimated half the ship in an instant. We were able to evacuate using a commandeered airship, but…"
She turned her head to watch the news feed, a clip of Bisley Bakur being escorted from the Spirius building, dozens of reports clamoring to him, shoving microphones in his face. The headline 'CEO Bakur Under Exodus Influence?' scrolled just beneath. It cut to a clip of Chancellor Ilbert giving a speech, the Prime Minister of Elympios at his side. Camera flashes lit up the room as he answered questions about the current situation between the two nations, to discuss if the open border was to continue, or if the foiled attack was considered an act of war. Thankfully the esteemed strategist seemed to be handling the situation gracefully, assuring the press that there was currently no intention to retaliate so long as justice would be served. The Prime Minister added that they intended to cooperate fully in this regard.
The reel cut back to the wrecked ship, or what was left of it. It had been reduced to scraps floating atop the water, the vessel itself likely having sunk to the bottom of the sea. Seeing only made Jude wonder just how he made it out alive.
If anyone else in that room did.
"How did I… How did I live through that? I was…" Shot, bleeding, his mana almost entirely depleted thanks to the lance. For all intents and purposes, he should have been dead.
Presa shook her head, her gaze surprisingly gentle for someone who only a short time ago had acted so coldly to him. "We're not entirely sure ourselves. You were found washed up on shore near Sapstrath. Your injuries were… Not light, and your lack of mana has hindered your recovery."
Jude nodded along, trying to process what she was saying. Those final moments seemed so surreal; the lance, that crazed man's grand scheme, the fight… But as he fought to piece the timeline together it became more garbled, less cohesive, until he could only recall the pain and the sound of a voice tell him not to give up, the soft touch of Alvin's fingers before he…
"Alvin!" Jude bolted upright and immediately regretted it as a pulse of pain emanated from his stomach, causing him to double over. Alvin. Alvin was there with him. He had been trying to reach him, telling him to run, that he could still escape… But the floor collapsed, the ship blew… Jude looked to Presa, wanting, no, needing answers. "Alvin, where is he?"
The woman's expression fell and she got to her feet again, seeking something just out of Jude's view. She returned a moment later with a familiar jacket, torn and stained with blood.
Suddenly Jude felt the urge to vomit and cry all at once, and he clapped a hand over his mouth to hopefully prevent both. No, he… He couldn't… Tears stung at the corners of his eyes, shoulders shaking as he slowly reached for the jacket, pulling it into his lap. The smell of his cologne had been completely washed away, replaced by the pungent smell of sand and brine. But it was unmistakably his, the custom tailoring, the unique pattern, the bloodstains and burn marks…
"When you were found, you were wrapped in that."
Jude's head jolted up at those words, fretful eyes staring in shock. "When I was…" It took him unusually long to process this information. This was the jacket Alvin was wearing on the ship when Gilland attacked them, so… "Then, Alvin is…"
Presa shook her head, taking a seat once more. "He wasn't there when we arrived. We searched but…" Her expression grew somber again and Jude knew what she was trying to convey. Alvin was gone. Missing, possibly dead. His wounds had been terrible, hadn't they? Unable to walk, desperately crawling to him in those final moments even though escape was completely futile. The terror in his voice rang in Jude's ears even now; more than anything, Alvin didn't want him to give in, he wanted him to live even if he was convinced he'd die himself in the process.
And perhaps he had.
But as Jude's arms wrapped around the musty fabric, a soft smile crossed his lips. Even when faced with death, Alvin had still thought of his safety, wanting to protect him even if it meant losing his own life.
A tear slipped down his cheek and Jude made no attempt to wipe it away as he held the fabric to his chest. You took the bodyguard cover to heart, didn't you, Alvin?
A deceptively delicate hand was laid upon his shoulder, giving Jude a reassuring squeeze. "That man always wanted to go out in style." Presa muttered, seemingly lost as to how to comfort this boy over a man she once loved herself. "But you know, Al is too stubborn to just die."
Jude snorted, wiping at his tears, smiling all the same. "I know. He… He had said he was going to leave when this was done…" He sniffled, eyes falling to the jacket in his lap. "I just have to trust that he'll find what he needs to, and that he'll come back someday."
Presa's hand fell away from his shoulder, seeming surprised at Jude's response. "You believe that he'll come back?" Though she didn't say it, Jude knew what she really wanted to ask: You believe he'll come back to you?
He could only nod, lifting his head and holding it high. "I know he will, when he's found the 'Alvin' he wants to be, and accepted the 'Alvin' that he is now."
For a moment Presa stared, unable to find any witty retort to counter Jude's words. An unfamiliar emotion flickered across her expression before she smiled, slowly rising to her feet again. "Hm… I feel like I should concede to you, Jude." She made her way to the door, sliding it open. "Good work."
"Huh?" What was that supposed to mean?
But before he could ask for clarity, the door to his room slammed the rest of the way open as Leia made her entrance. She pushed past Presa and all but pounced Jude, wrapping him in a tight hug. "You're awake!" She proclaimed, already near tears. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
"L-Leia… It hurts…!" Jude managed with gritted teeth. Leia wasn't that heavy, but the pressure on his stomach was enough to send him reeling all over again.
"Oh!" She loosened her grip, smiling at him as she fought back tears. "You big idiot! First you disappear and then I get a call saying they found you half-dead! Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
Jude chuckled, reaching up to pat her head with one bandaged hand. "I'm sorry, Leia. A lot of things happened…"
"I'll say! You better tell me everything! Every. Last. Detail." She pulled out her notebook from seemingly thin-air and began hastily writing. "This is gonna be a huge scoop!"
"Leia…" Jude sighed, reaching back to prop up the pillows so he could lay more comfortably. Even though he had just woken he was already feeling drained, the excitement alone leaving him feeling utterly exhausted. "Wait till I'm on my feet again, then I'll give you your scoop."
The tone of his voice seemed to be enough to get his point across, as Leia set the notebook aside and instead took the seat Presa was occupying before. "Sorry, I probably should have asked with an easier question. Like, how are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"
Jude shook his head, his attention going to the latest news segment, this one with a headline even closer to home. 'Spyrix Research Suspended Pending Investigation'.
"Guess I'm out a job…" He sunk further into the pillows, reaching for the remote and clicking the TV off. Jude figured it would end up like this, and he was fairly certain that his short-lived career as a researcher was swiftly coming to an end. He wondered what he would do next; continue school? Pick up a different job? Move back home? He couldn't afford an apartment in Trigleph on financial aid alone, so it seemed that moving back home was soon to be his only option.
Leia placed a reassuring hand on his knee. "Hey, we'll figure something out…" She offered with a smile.
Jude nodded, pulling the jacket closer to his chest. Even though it smelled too much of salt and iron, it brought him no small comfort to have the article so close. Alvin's final act of kindness before his departure was to offer him warmth, give him whatever he could to keep him safe. Even if he felt he was no longer worthy of staying at Jude's side, Alvin still wished to protect him.
And now Jude could only hope he would come back someday.
The silence between them was broken by a growl from Jude's stomach, causing the heat to rush to his face. But Leia gave him no grief, only smiled. "Hungry?"
Jude nodded, trying to adjust the blankets to more properly cover his bare chest. In the end, Leia had to do it for him, setting Alvin's coat to his side in the process. "Do you think your dad would make me that soup I like? With the oranges?"
"I'm sure he will!" She leapt to her feet with renewed vigor. "I'll go help him make it and be right back, so sit tight, okay?"
"I don't think I could go anywhere if I tried…" Jude snarked, but it was only met with a playful smile. He was grateful to have Leia around, especially now.
But something had been bothering since he woke. That woman, the one that had spoken to him before… "Hey, Leia, was there someone else here? Aside from you and Presa?"
"Hm?" Leia pressed a finger to her chin in thought. "I don't think so? Your mother is overseeing your treatment. Is that who you saw?"
Jude shook his head. "No, that's…" It wasn't anyone he recognized, but he felt like the woman was familiar somehow, like an old friend. But he was sure he had never seen her before. "Don't worry about it."
"Are you sure?"
Jude smiled. "Yeah. Don't worry about it. Tell mom I'm awake on your way out?"
"You bet! I'll be back in a hot minute."
As soon as she left to fetch his meal, Jude immediately missed her presence. Alone in the quiet of the room, Jude's only company was his thoughts, those of which he needed to sort through before he could figure out his next move. Exodus in shambles, his job on an indefinite hiatus, Alvin gone…
He sighed, fiddling with the button of one of Alvin's jacket's pockets, noticing a familiar lump. He undid the fastener and pulled Alvin's GHS free, rich brown accented with gold paint that had chipped off over time. Curiously, he flipped it open, attempting to power it on. It buzzed menacingly but otherwise did not respond. The seawater likely did it in with no hopes of recovery. But there was something else that caught Jude's eye, something metallic that had slipped from the pocket along with the phone.
A charm in the shape of a six-pointed flower with a small stylized J at the center, attached to a keyring. On it was a single key, one that Jude recognized. The apartment that Alvin and he shared for that brief time. This key… Did he make it for me before…?
Jude clutched the key to his chest, smiling to himself. In that moment, for all the uncertainties he held in his heart, he decided what it was he needed to do. He'd keep moving forward for himself, hold tightly to the mission he undertook for the sake of the people of this world. I'll keep moving… And finish what I started no matter what.
And maybe, just maybe, he'd see Alvin again.