Trying to move the story ahead and keep it more concise until I get to the meat of it, so expect some skipping around! Thank you for your patience.

"That was close." Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. He cast a glance to the left where Edd was huddled underneath his jacket, three seconds from a panic attack.

Before he'd had a chance to even think about calming Edd down, a nearby policewoman must have heard Edd's scream. As she mosied her way over to the two of them, Kevin fought his rising panic as Edd made no attempts to hide how disturbed he was. When she saw Edd acting terrified, it had taken Kevin a long time to convince her that no, the two of them were not having sex, and Edd was just afraid because he'd...seen a shark.

"Really," she said doubtfully, eyeing Edd who refused to meet her eyes. According to Kevin, the two of them had wanted to go skinny dipping and Edd was just cold. The fact that he was shaking could be attributed that. The scales that littered the ground were a little more farfetched, but either she didn't notice or didn't care, because she left it alone. He wasn't sure he wouldn't have broken down himself.

Eventually she left them to their business, making them promise to return home as soon as possible. "Or I'll tell your parents you were out this late," she told Kevin. "Your mom and I play tennis and I know where you live."

God, could his life get any weirder? "Seriously," he lamented. "What is my life?"

"What is your life?!" Edd screeched. At Kevin's beseeching look he managed to lower his voice, but not by much. "What has my life become? My tail, it's—" he swallowed, looking very close to being sick. "My scales. Kevin, what could have caused such a travesty? Do you have any idea what this means? I—I..."

Kevin winced when Edd started hyperventilating. His fingers clawed uselessly at his hair.

"Look," Kevin said, raising his hands placatingly. "Just calm down. This is," he let out a laugh, "crazy, but let's just...calm down and think about what we can do to fix it." Kevin reached out towards the scales littering the beach and began collecting them. As if he had forgotten that such a thing was possible, Edd jerked to life and followed Kevin's example, scrambling to pick up every piece.

"Maybe there's a way to put them back on," said Edd, his voice wavering dangerously. Kevin couldn't blame him; he'd want to cry if he'd suddenly grown a tail and been thrown into the ocean.

"I dunno," replied Kevin. "Maybe." He examined the thin pieces, but with the full moon now covered by a large cloud, it was difficult to see. The way that Edd was clinging to each piece, he wasn't sure he'd get a chance to see them later. "Or maybe we just need to, uh, get you wet again? Maybe mermaids turn into people—humans—when they get dry."

"I suppose," said Edd after some debated. He scooted himself towards the water, looking disgusted by the graceless way his legs moved. "How do you control these things? They're revolting."

Kevin tried not to take offense as he helped Edd, keeping his eyes averted. When he was submerged up to his waist, the tide licking at his abdomen, they waited a good thirty seconds before either of them spoke.

"It isn't working," Edd moaned. He covered his face with his hands and cried out in frustration. "This is not good!"

Kevin scratched his head, brain working at overdrive. "I have no fucking clue what's going on. If that's not gonna work...I don't know what will." When Edd shivered violently, he held out his hand. "For now, we should get you out of there. If you're human for now, you can catch a cold. The water gets chilly at night."

Edd reached for his hand. He was unprepared when he was suddenly jerked forward and up, stumbling like a newborn foal. Kevin supported his upper body as he stared at his legs, willing them to work. "How do you move with these?" While he knew of walking theoretically, it had never occurred to him that he may find the action useful at any point in his lifetime.

"Uh." Kevin looked up at the sky, trying his hardest not blush. It was so awkward holding up another naked guy. "I've never had to explain it before. You just...put one foot in front of the other."

"Your help is invaluable."

"Just give me a sec," said Kevin. "Okay, you know what, let's start off sitting down. I probably need to explain most of this to you."

"I do have some knowledge," argued Edd, recalling little from textbooks he had managed to salvage. The names of body parts eluded him, but he could recall most of their functions.

"Right, well it'll be way easier for me to assume you don't know anything." Kevin pointed to his shoe. "This is a foot. Actually it's a shoe, but underneath the shoe is a foot."

Edd watched him go through a series of strange motions to pull the shoe off of his foot, which both puzzled and intrigued him. How did it fit in there without pain?

"May I see?" he asked, reaching out curiously.

Kevin pulled back, keeping it just out of his reach. "When you can walk, we talk about shoes."

Edd huffed. "Very well. Continue."

Edd spent the next hour learning to walk like a relatively normal human being. Kevin gave Edd his pants, figuring being out in his underwear wasn't his biggest concern at the moment. Edd was taking it surprisingly well, mostly because interest in the human world kept him from reflecting on his situation too much. He was a surprisingly quick study, catching on very quickly. His legs didn't seem to suffer from any type of atrophy; the muscles seemed in proportion to the rest of his body, which was too freaky for a sleep-deprived Kevin to think about.

"I am so fucking tired," exclaimed Kevin once Edd was able to keep up with him without stumbling. "I'm glad you're smart, because I think my brain is dead."

"Not to rain on your parade," cautioned Edd, "but there is one small problem." He bit his lip, rubbing the top of his head self-consciously. "I don't have a home in this city. I regret to ask more of you—"

"Don't worry about it," interrupted Kevin, too tired to argue with him. "You'll stay at my place. I'll think of something in the morning. My parents will be asleep right now, thank god."

Edd opened his mouth as if to argue, then thought better of it. "Thank you," he said, going uncharacteristically quiet. The silence stretched on, the two of them far too exhausted to break it. Kevin's house was about a twenty minute walk from the beach, but it felt like it was much longer.

If they got any weird looks, he didn't notice. Edd was lost in his own thoughts. Occasionally his tongue would slip out between his two teeth. When Kevin found himself staring, he had to physically shake himself awake and refocus his attention in front of him.

Once they reached his house Kevin quietly slipped the door open and helped Edd up the steps to his room. Their hands were clasped tightly, radiating heat that traveled up Kevin's arm and reminded him just how cold he was.

"In here," he whispered, ushering him in. Once the door was shut, he turned on his lamp light and pulled out a bunch of blankets for a makeshift bed.

"What are you doing?" Edd asked, blinking owlishly. His curiosity was somewhat renewed as he watched Kevin hop around the room, moving around various implements. Finally having the opportunity to see a lightbulb up close made him particularly curious.

"How do you normally sleep?" said Kevin, interrupting Edd's thoughts.

"The surface feels very different from underwater," Edd admitted. "Assuming it works the same way, I tend sleep on the smoother surfaces in my cavern." However, any surface seemed appealing in that moment.

"Right. You can take the bed just in case you're not used to the rest of this. I think I have a plan for tomorrow, but we're gonna need to do it right. I'll explain it tomorrow," he assured, waving a hand. Kevin would have explained the bed more thoroughly, but he was already falling asleep. He just told Edd to lay on the surface like he would anything else and rest his head on the pillow. When Edd followed his example, Kevin plopped down onto his pile of blankets and fell asleep within minutes.

Long after Kevin's snores filled the room Edd remained awake, his mind turning the chain of events over and over. How long will I be trapped like this? he wondered.

Forever?

Edd did not get much sleep that night.

Kevin woke up at the feeling of the sunshine warming his face. After a jaw-splitting yawn he spent a few minutes blinking at the clock in a daze, wondering why he was on the floor and not in his bed. At the sound of quiet shuffling it all came flying back at him in a dizzying rush.

"Fuck," he hissed, straightening. He stretched, threw back the blankets, and got off the floor to see what Edd was doing.

"Good morning," Edd greeted, turning to face him. He had cast aside the makeshift outfit from last night and was wearing another pair of Kevin's shorts and a sweater. There were dark circles under his eyes but the expression on his face put Kevin's worry on hold. He was messing around with Kevin's iPad, fingers moving items on the screen with fascination. It showed how quickly Edd was able to adapt to any situation that he had discovered touch screen. His eyes met Kevin, a vibrant shade of blue.

"That's the customary greeting, is it not?" Edd went back to fiddling with the iPad, his cheeks slowly coloring. "I hope you don't mind that I have...made myself at home, so to speak. I have a habit of keeping things clean. I hope you don't mind."

The rest of his sentence went one ear and out the other as Kevin took in the state of his room. It was sparkling. "Woah," he breathed. It hadn't been this clean since his mom had to force the door open to wake him up and she'd helped him a couple of years ago. "It's clean. Really clean."

"I apologize if it not to your liking," Edd hastened to say, setting down the iPad very carefully. "I couldn't sleep and the mess was a successful distraction."

"I don't mind at all," said Kevin. Edd had taken the example from his closet and hung up most of his clothing—including his pants. "Rad. I can't believe you spent the whole night doing this. And you didn't wake me up"

"It was fun. Well, for me," Edd replied. "As you can imagine, my current situation has left me feeling a little discombobulated."

"Yeah, I guess." Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't so good at comforting people. "You must be wondering what this is, huh." He pointed to the iPad. "Don't get much down in the ocean, do you?"

"No. Please explain." Edd betrayed his excitement when he stood up and sat down next to Kevin. Apparently overnight he had almost mastered the art of walking—at least somewhat. Kevin was beginning to realize that the intelligence in Edd's eyes and the fancy language wasn't just for show; he was really smart.

"Well—" A knock at his door interrupted the two of them. Kevin thought for a second she might come inside and experience a mini-heart attack. Edd went white, scooting himself against Kevin's bedframe.

"Kevin?" his mother called. "It's almost noon. Are you ever going to get up? You'd better not be playing those games again."

"I'm not, mom! Geez. I'm getting changed!"

"Well hurry up! I made sandwiches and you can have some if you come downstairs."

"I got it!" called Kevin. He waited until her footsteps faded before he helped Edd to his feet. "Okay, change of plans. I'll explain more about everything once we've got your situation all figured out. And what I was thinking was that we could pretend you're a foreign exchange student."

At Edd's look he quickly explained what that entailed. "I don't know if she'll believe it, but it's all I've got." He sighed. "Also, you're wearing my clothes. Kinda hard to explain that, so we'll need to do something about that."

"If I remember correctly, humans buy things from stores. We have similar methods, although our currency is probably very different."

Kevin found it hard to concentrate on so much new information all at once. It was going to take a while before he stopped wondering when things would make sense. "Uhh, yeah. I was thinking of using some of my own money to buy you a couple outfits." He eyed the scar running along Edd's head. "And a hat if you'd like. I mean, I dunno how you feel about that being on display."

"They seem like they would be uncomfortable to wear, but..." said Edd, touching the top of his head. He looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I'd like a hat. To some mers my scar is a sign of bravery." He let out a short laugh. "It's far more accurate to say it was dumb luck."

"What happened?"

Edd shook his head. "Shouldn't we focus on the task at hand? Your mother's waiting, and I've never had human food." It would certainly be an experience.

Kevin grinned. "I can't wait to see your face when you eat fried chicken or—well, pretty much everything. It's gonna be so great."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to enjoy this?" Edd drawled.

"Oh you will." Remembering to stay on task, Kevin grabbed a jersey and some shorts from his closet. "Just not as much as me. Remind me to buy a couple peppers for the road. Also you should probably change into something without as much fabric. You're gonna sweat like that." He grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt that he'd outgrown but hadn't yet had a chance to throw away and tossed them in his direction.

While he was in the middle of pulling his shorts over his hips, Kevin glanced at Edd to find him carefully peeling the sweatshirt off of his body. The pants were far too big for him and started to slip down his hips. Kevin stumbled, choking on his words. "Hold on a sec. Actually, there are a few more things. We lowly humans have to dress in layers."

"Ah," said Edd. He blushed. "I remember something about that in those books I read. I apologize for future offenses that I'll probably cause."

Kevin couldn't blame him for being embarrassed; if he'd been thrown into another world, he'd probably feel pretty embarrassed to be caught with his pants down. "Dude, no. You're okay. I doubt you could offend me 'cause I've got thick skin."

He explained the how clothes and their various layers worked, leaving the coming fall for another day. Once Edd was dressed in an orange tee that Kevin almost never wore and a pair of khakis, they were ready to execute the plan.

"We're going to sneak by your mother, be away for hours, and she won't be curious to know where are you?"

"Nah, she won't," assured Kevin. "She knows I like to run around and do stuff with my friends. Speaking of them, I really hope I don't see them today." He grimaced. "I'll worry about that later. Let's just get out of here."

"Gladly!" Edd smiled, some of his former exuberance showing.

Once they were on the street Kevin could breathe easier. He had to resist the urge to grab Edd by the hand and pull him away from every shiny object that caught his attention. When they were passing a store that displayed a television playing behind the glass, Edd pressed himself against the screen to get a better look.

"Come on Double Dweeb," Kevin hissed, glaring at the display. He grabbed Edd by the shoulder, sending him stumbling backwards. "We gotta go. We're getting you some stuff, remember? Sight-seeing can wait."

"Do you have to do that?" Edd adjusted the shirt along his shoulder. "This is the first time I've seen any of your world. Give me some peace!"

"Look man, I'm sorry but we should—" He watched in horror as Edd ignored him and walked into the doorway of the shop. "No! Don't go in—fuck."

He jogged to the door and burst inside in a futile attempt to apprehend Edd before anybody he knew saw them. And by anybody he meant—

"What's up, Kev!" Nazz waved at Kevin from behind the counter. She barely spared a glance at Edd before giving Kevin her full attention. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to get near the tech; I know it confuses you."

Kevin rolled his eyes, inching closer to Edd. He was staring at Nazz he'd discovered the meaning of life. Surely the mermaid world had to have pretty mermaids. Kevin tried to grab him without Nazz noticing, but she didn't miss much. The moment Kevin caught Edd's attention, she shifted gears.

"Who's this?" she asked, clearly trying not to stare at the scar on the side of his head. "You know 'im?"

"Yeah." Kevin started backing up, pulling Edd with him. Of all the people to see… The rest of his friends would know about his 'new friend' by sundown. Kevin faked a laugh. "Study abroad student. Before school you know. I'm just showing him around." He pushed the door open with his back and tugged on Ed's arm. "Nice talking to you Nazz. Bye!"

"Wait!" she called. "I want to talk to you and you know I can't follow you out there." She pouted. "Kevin!"

As the door closed behind them, Nazz waved to Edd, her pout transforming into a dazzling smile. "I guess I'll meet you later," she called. "Don't let Kevin get you into trouble."

Kevin sighed and started pulling Ed towards the mall. "That's Nazz. You've seen her before I think. She's awesome, but nosey."

"S-she does seem outgoing," Edd stammered, wiping beads of sweat from his brow.

Kevin rolled his eyes. Why did every guy have to go googly-eyed over Nazz? She was a better friend than a partner. "Don't bother with her. She's all about being 'smart' these days." He made the appropriate air-quotes. "Plus, there's the whole mermaid-man thing."

"What? I—no—I didn't—" Edd's face burned. "I was not making eyes at her. She just has a certain...charm."

"What're you trying to say? I don't have charm?" He bumped Edd with his shoulder.

Edd had been around long enough that he could recognize a show of affection. He rubbed his shoulder and smirked. "You have your own charm, although I may have a bias; you're the first person that I've actually met."

"Still very weird to think about. I dunno if I want to know any more just yet. I've got a headache already."

"Knowledge is power, Kevin," stated Edd. Before he could say more on the matter, Kevin saw the sign for the bus station and waved for Edd to follow him.

"If you've never ridden in a car, you're in for a treat."

"No, but I do recognize the name—"

Suddenly a rumbling, giant machine hurtled towards the two of them at a great speed. Edd let out a horrified squeak as it stopped just in front of their position. A loud hiss echoed and then the door slowly drew open. He'd seen machines like this before, and cars weren't unknown to him, but this was an intimidating version to see up close.

"I've got a bus pass but you don't, so I'll just pay." Kevin started fishing out coins and pulled Edd up the steps. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"That is the furthest thing from my mind!" He grabbed onto Kevin's arm and made a futile attempt to pull them back.

"Don't worry, Double Dork." Kevin pulled him to a seat by the back, sitting them down along an elongated cushion. "It's just a bus. You've probably seen this kinda stuff before." When Edd jumped, he patted his arm. "We're completely safe."

At that moment the gargantuan bus began to move. It's hissing evened into a dull roar and started descending down the hill at a very accelerated rate.

"How long will this last?" he asked Kevin in a whisper.

Kevin glanced at his watch. "About ten minutes, depending on traffic."

Edd swallowed.

Man, working in those show references. *wipes sweat*