Monster.
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here,
Looking through the window.
Mia
Since my parents died, I had to deal with the pain of these monsters, capturing and trapping me in my own dreams, and somehow ended up following me out into my real life. Images of the things haunting me always pop up, like my parents deaths. But tonight flashes of Deno and his magic appear, plus blurry images of things I can't quite make out.
I had worked so hard to get rid of these monsters, but they're stealing my dreams from me once again. I don't know why've they come back, but I try to push them away.
Claws are grabbing at me, pulling me towards them, ripping at my clothes and pinching my skin. But I can't see anything, only feel it happening. I can only see within my own mind, and all I see is blood. I try to scream out, but I can't. No words are coming out, my lips are barely moving. And I feel the monsters coming for me again, trying to lure me back into their relentless mental torture. It's been a long time since I've experienced them. I'm trapped. I'm trapped in their clutches and I can't get out. And the pain, the pain, the pain is horrific.
I'm torn out of my nightmare but the sound of a door slamming.
"Mia! Where are you?" I hear the Aussie voice downstairs. I wipe the tear from my eye and shout to him, "I'm up here, Jax!"
A moment later he appears in the doorway of his room. I'm sitting in his bed, trying to not let my childhood nightmare get to me.
"How was your day off?" he asks, entering the room and setting his bag on a chair. He takes his leather jacket off and hangs on it on a rack.
"Fine," I lie. He gives me a doubtful look, but decides to accept the answer anyway. "How was school?" I ask.
"Awful, as one would expect. I don't know how people get all this damn homework done without magic," he says. Typical lazy wizard, taking the easy way out of things. Jax is no stranger to this way of life, of course. He pure, 100% wizard boy. Magic is all he's ever known. His family, and their success, rely on it. The Novoas are nobles in their societies. Rich, powerful. And I'm just a kanay. One of only a few left. My power is nothing to them.
"We call it work. You should try it sometimes, it may be exhausting but it the end it provides satisfaction," I reply. He laughs.
"Mia, I do plenty work. I'm just not going to waste my energy on homework after a day at school. I can only take so much."
"So much of what? Thinking? Sorry if it hurts your pea brain," I joke. He gives me a scowl. "Ha ha," he says nonchalantly. I realize I'm still comfortable under the covers off his bed and get up. I'm still wearing nothing but the black tank and shorts I woke up in.
"Hey, little witch, could you," I make a swirling motion with my finger, mocking Jax's signature move. "I still really don't feel like going home and these clothes...can you change me?" I ask. He smirks at me.
"You know what I mean," I say. I look away from him, feeling a little embarrassed.
He conjures up some blue cloudy magic and shoots it at me. I'm surprised it doesn't push me back at all, and I feel an unusual warm softness spread over me, and in a short moment I'm dressed in my army boots, brown jeans, and maroon top.
"Not bad, Novoa," I tel him, looking down at my clothes.
"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. Just don't be calling me "little witch". Got it, kanay girl?" He smirks at me again, and I catch myself smirking back.
"You've been cooped up in here all day. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? We'll do whatever you want," he says. I think about it for a moment. Soon the words are coming out of my mouth, and I can't believe what I'm doing. I look at him, serious.
"I want to show you something. Something only I've ever seen. But we're going to need a little magic to get there."
"Where are we?" Jax asks, letting go of me as we land in my nightmare. I can't see him, because I can never see anything with my eyes in this dream. I only see the flashes. It's starting again. The blood. My parents. The principal. Daniel. Milo. Deno. The blurry images.
All the things that seem to be haunting my mind. I feel the scratching, the claws. Somehow it's worse because I'm not asleep. It's overwhelmingly. For a moment I forget Jax is here, but I soon remember and grab his hand, making sure he's here with me. "Do you feel it, too?" I manage to ask. Somehow I have my voice, but it's taking everything out of my talk.
"I...I do. And I'm seeing all these people I don't know, but also the principal and Daniel...Mia, what is this?"
"My nightmare." Then an awful feeling runs through me, for a second it feels like I'm dying. Then we're back in Jax's bedroom. I notice I'm still holding his hand and quickly draw it away.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yes," I say. But no, I'm slightly sweating and I have this pit in my stomach.
"Are you sure? That dream was extremely freaky." He pauses for a moment, then tenses up. "Did I see your parents?" he asks. I nod.
"Those were my parents you saw. Did you also see them die?" I say, giving him a sad shrug as my voice breaks a bit. "Those-those dreams are all the bad things that have happened to me. They are all the things that haunt me. And the clawing and scratching...it's a pain I've learned to fear. And in the nightmare I can't fight back. I think that's what scares me the most," I admit. He looks up at me.
"So you're terrified of not being able to protect yourself from these demons in your sleep?"
"I'm terrified of not being able to protect myself and the things I care about. Without my powers, I'm nothing? Who I am? Would I be able to keep myself safe? Would my parents be alive?" I take a deep breath in, trying to find my voice. "I'm scared of not being able to fix things. I fear I'm never going to get over the things that go wrong. Like last night. The images just keep replaying in my mind."
"It's okay to be afraid. No matter how magical we are, we still have the human parts of us. Fear is part of being human. And sometimes we can't protect ourselves, but that's okay but we have people that care about us," he says. I'm trying not to break down anymore. I bite my lip and look down. I hate this. I hate my emotions.
"Hey," Jax says, lightly grabbing my wrist. "You're aren't just nothing without your powers. You're still you." I know he means what he says. I know he cares. He makes me realize something.
My nightmares can't control me. My demons don't define who I am.
I regain my composure, straighten up, and give Jax a bad ass little smile.
"I have one other thing I want to do."
Emma
"Good morning, Emma. Today we have a few more tests to run, and we'll have the results by the end of the day. If all goes well, you will be out of here and back in you home by the end of the day," Dr. Goodkin tells me. I hope my results are what she's hoping for, because I'm already to leave this hospital. Andi is the only thing keeping me sane.
"Okay," I say flatly. She exits, and then a few minutes later a nurse comes in with her little box, making her way across the white hospital flooring in her hideous tan Crocs. She pulls out needles.
"Emma, I'm going to be giving you a few vaccines, a few basic ones, like for witch flu, but also one that helps fight any cells in your body that are carrying the Cross Syndrome virus. Most cross witches have cells that carry the disease, even if they don't infect the body. Then I'm going to take some blood. Are you alright with this, Emma?" She asks. I nod my head.
She gives me both shots in my left arm, and they make my arm really sore. Then she takes the blood, which leaves me feeling a teensy bit dizzy.
"When do you think they're going to be done with all these tests? When do you think we'll be able to get back to Miami?" I ask Andi.
"I don't know, Em, maybe tonight, if things go as planned." She looks down for a second. "Em, what if you have the disease?"
"I guess there is a chance of me getting it, but I really don't think I should be overly anxious and worried. That will just cause stress. I'm sure I'm fine," I say. I'm trying to convince myself.
Maybe this is all just cautionary. To be 100% sure, right? I'm the chosen one. I've never even gotten witch flu, and before a few minutes ago I'd never had a vaccine. I know Maddie's gotten it, and so did Jax when I was with him. I made him chicken soup and he kept trying to hold my hand or something but I was too worried he would infect me. He did up kissing me, but I never got sick. I guess I assumed I didn't get the witch flu.
Andi asks me about Daniel. "So tell me about the boyfriend. Spare all the really gushy stuff, though." She makes one of her classic faces.
"He's different," I begin. "He's changed. He's no longer the little boy who showed me around school when I first came here. He's grown up. He understands me better, he understands my needs. But at the same time he's still the Danny that tells me how beautiful I am and holds my hand extra hard when there's other people around..." I muse on about my boyfriend, but then realize what I'm doing and quickly stop.
"Sorry," I apologize.
"You're fine," Andi says, but I can tell she's not okay with it.
"No I'm not. It's not fair that I get all this wonderful stuff with my powers and Daniel, well except for this medical thing right now, but you deserve that, too! You deserve to be a human guardian. You deserve to find someone who loves you like Phillip did. And I'm sorry I can't give that to you, because I would in a heartbeat if I could," I say. Andi smiles at me.
"I know. Phillip was awesome, but at the same time, he wasn't real. I want something real. He was my fantasy, and I needed to let go of fantasy," she says in a very serious tone.
"That's very mature, Andi. Good for you," I say smiling.
"It's just part of growing up."
There's still a few more hours before we have the final consultation and I get the results, so we decide to marathon some more Grey's Anatomy. Andi always says how's she in it for the medical drama aspect, but I know she's secretly super invested in the relationship. She loves shipping, no matter how much she argues she doesn't know what an OTP is.
"Let's do something..." I say mischievously, raising my eyebrows with a huge smile on my face.
"I thought we were going to start season 8 of Grey's..." Andi says, giving me a questioning look.
"I wanna do something fun," I state, my mind bouncing around a mile a second.
"Marathoning GA isn't fun enough for you?" she jokes. I get out of my hospital bed and grab her hand.
"We're going exploring..." I drag her out the door, looking around to see no one in the corridor. I let go of Andi's hand, and take of running. Once I'm a few meters down the corridor, almost to the heart of this wing of the hospital, I stop and turn around. "You coming?"
Andi looks unsure at first, but slowly grows a smile and sprints down towards the end of hall. When she's near me, I take off again, rounding corners and taking turns to not only avoid any staff, but try and loose Andi. But she's too fast for my games, and eventually catches up. We find ourselves in the pediatric wing. When I see the name of the wing, however, I'm shocked. I recognize the person the wing is named after.
The Leon Novoa Pediatric Wing
Leon Novoa. Jax's uncle, Jake's brother. Why would the wing be named after him? Jax's father is rich, so maybe his uncle is, too. It's the most logical explanation. Andi sees the name, too.
"Novoa? Relative of Jax?"
"Uncle," I reply. "But I didn't know about this." A little girl, about 11 or 12 comes up to us. "Who are you?" she asks innocently.
"My name's Emma, and this is my friend Andi. Who are you?" I ask sweetly. She has a chin length, thin, blonde hair and stunning blue eyes.
"I'm Emily. Witch in Training," she states proudly.
"Cool! Nice to meet you, Emily. But why are you in a hospital? Where are you're parents?" I ask curiously.
"Somewhere around here."
"Well are you looking for them?"
"No. I'm just waiting for the doctors to get back with my results." She pulls up the sleeve of her sweatshirt and shows me the cotton coving the inside of her elbow, probably where blood was just drawn. "I have leukemia, blood cancer," she says. "Or maybe it's had. I don't know anymore. I was put in remission almost a year ago, but I'm still not in the clear. I'm here for a routine blood test. I'm here all the time for these kinds of things, but I've never seen you before...so why are you here?"
"I'm here because I'm getting tests to see if I have Cross Syndrome. Andi is here with me for support."
"Oh. One of my best friends from when I was in the hospital had CroSyds. It was hard to watch, almost as hard to watch as cancer. I hope you don't have it..."
"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be fine," I reassure her. But there's still a chance I won't be fine, and I can tell by the look on Emily's face that she already knows this.
"Well, let's just hope things turn out good for the both of us," she says. "My first year at WITS Academy is this year. I'm missing training sessions for this. If I don't graduate because I'm sick...I don't know what I'll do. My dad is always hiring tutors to come and teach me while I'm in here, but I just wanna go back to the academy," she says somberly. I can tell she really loves magic, and she really cares about her training.
"You're from the academy? I dream of going there!" Andi chimes in.
"I think you're too old to be practicing magic there," Emily says.
"No, to be a guardian."
"Really? I'm looking forward to working with a guardian. My own personal protector and advisor...maybe they'd protect my from getting sick, too. But I'm positive guardian don't possess that ability." It's strange to see a little girl so acquainted with illness.
"Why don't they use magic to cure cancer?" Andi asks. Emily looks up at her, as though the answer is obvious.
"Because," Emily says, "they've tried that in the past. Magic has no effect on it. Yes, here in the magic hospital they use magic treatments, but they can't produce a cure. Magic doesn't have a firm grasp on human diseases, like some think. Injuries, magic can repair. But diseases like this? Or any types of magic diseases like CroSyds? Magic will never be the answer, never be the cure."
A announcement blasts over the intercom.
"Emma Alonso, you are needed in your room for consultation. Emma Alonso, please report back to your room immediately."
I look to Emily, "Sorry. We have to go. See you another time? And good luck, Emily. With the tests, and with the academy."
"Thanks, Emma. It was really nice meeting you." I give her a smile, then me and Andi rush back to room.
"Am I cleared to go yet?" I say impatiently as we enter the room.
"Please, sit down ladies," Dr. Goodkin says. I give her a puzzled look, but proceed to sit down on my bed, while Andi sits in the chair beside me.
"Emma," the doctor begins, "there's no easy way to put this. You know the risk you're at and the severity of the disease. Unfortunately, you're test results were positive for Cross Syndrome."
I shake my head in disbelief. "What?"
"You can't be serious," Andi says, mouth to the floor.
"We found that you carry the immature pathogens that cause Cross Syndrome all over your body. You'll need to check into the hospital and start treatments immediately, and we'll have to expose the Realm to your father, because he has to know about this."
Everything around me seems to go into slow motion, as if I'm in a movie, because this can't possibly be my real life. It hits me.
I'm sick. And...I could die. How long have I taken my health for granted? How long had I seen sick kids like Emily as just cute children with bad luck? How long had I been stupid enough to think I was coming out of here clean?
Will I even come out of here, or will I die before I ever see my home again?