Note: Unedited. No Beta. Slow update.

This story would contain SLASH! Any homophobes or people who don't like that, hit the back button immediately. I don't want to receive flames about this.

Of Magic and Death

03:

"Are you sure you won't tell us who Castor's father is?"

That was James' opening line while he had drank firewhiskey in the Potter Manor's resting area in the garden while they were both looking at a two-year-old Harry and a five-year-old Castor playing whatever game they wanted with Lily and Peter supervising and joining at the same time.

He spluttered and spurted his drink in front of him – which was unfortunately where Remus was sitting while reading a book and he was giving him a dark glare. He raised both his hands and pointed at James, who were looking constipated at suppressing his laugh while at the same time looking apologetic.

"You better get me cleaned up James Charlus Potter or I swear I would hex you to smell like the fart of a skunk," Remus growled, pulling his wet shirt a little and giving disgusted look when he touched his face that was also hit by Sirius' spraying liquid..

"Alright Moony. Geez, you act like a woman in a period," James casually said, swishing his wand and saying incantations under his breath. At an instant, Remus was cleaned up and freshened.

"Would you like me to say that to Lily?" he asked sweetly, making James pale and Sirius to give guffaws of laugh. James immediately shook his head.

Lily? She would just make his life suffer for that comment! He love Lily but she could be downright scary when angered.

"Come on Moony, I'm only joking!"

"Well, it's not funny," he grumbled. He looked at himself and sniffed. He nodded but still gave a disgusted shiver.

"I am so showering after this talk. I still feel the firewhisky clinging into my body,"

"You can go ahead and get cleaned up then. There would be no talk," Sirius said, cleaning the firewhisky that was spilled on the table before pouring himself one on his glass and drinking it again.

James and Remus looked at each before James cleared his throat.

"Padfoot, you can trust us," he said softly.

"I know. I just don't want to tell anyone. It's safer this way,"

"Safer? What do you mean? What in the world really happened Paddy?" Remus said seriously, obviously sniffing something wrong in his sentence. He cursed openly as he realized that he slipped. He's giving clues before he realized it.

"Nothing. Nothing happened," he said quickly, downing the liquid immediately and pouring one once again.

James stopped him from drinking the drink on his glass. "This is not 'nothing'. This sounded serious,"

"Of course it is. You're talking to me," he grinned, using the old joke towards his name that he created in his Hogwarts' years. They didn't fall back to their usual reaction of groaning to the – admittedly – bad joke that already got ugly the first time he used it. They only gave him a too serious look.

"Sirius…"

He sighed, knowing that when his friends became like his, nothing would derail them.

"Just… just leave it please," he softly pleaded. He looked at them intently, imploring that he didn't want to talk about it. James and Remus looked at each other and sighed.

"Alright. We'll leave it," he sighed in relief. Remus looked at him sharply. "For now. Don't think we'll leave it alone Padfoot," Sirius nodded. He already knew that. His friends would demand answers sooner or later. He just bought himself some time.

He would tell them of course. They were his friends, eventually anyway. When that 'eventually' will be, he didn't know. Just that he's not ready to tell them.

Not yet.

Besides, he didn't know if he was ever going to be ready for that time. Or if it would be a good idea to even contemplate on telling them. But not saying was not out of the question. He knew his friends wouldn't abandon him. He just didn't know what they're reaction would be.

Especially if they knew the truth, as even he still couldn't believe it. He love Castor to the bottom of his heart. He was the center of his entire universe. He was the person who makes his entire world bright. He was the love of his life. But sometimes, he couldn't help but see Castor's father on some of his mannerism, especially his green eyes.

He shook his head and got rid of that thought right out of his mind. He didn't want to think about it. Not when he was right there in front of his friends with Castor just a few feet away from him who would instantly notice and see his reaction.

Because he knew that he would cry of heartache and loneliness remembering him.

Because he's still quite madly in love with him, even if he represented everything he had fought and escaped from just to be free.

. . . . .

"Dad?" Sirius looked at his now eight-year-old son who was looking more and more beautiful than handsome as he grew older. Castor looked like his feminine features were dominant than the masculine ones but he was sure that's just because he was still growing. And even if that were the case, that just meant that he had to look out for people who would do his son harm more than ever.

"Yes Castor?"

"Can I… Can I ask about my… father?" his son asked uncertainly, looking at him with hesitant but curious and hopeful eyes. He froze, not sure on how to react. He knew that Castor would be asking about his father again. He's still just a kid, albeit an intelligent kid. And they were all curious beings. His son, though he acted mature than any other eight-year-old child, still had that curious attitude. Not to mention kids would always seek their parents.

He took his time to answer, uncertain about it but he didn't want to disappoint his son. He had already disappointed and worried Castor whenever the topic of his father was concerned. He knew that was the reason why Castor was only asking that now again. Because the first and last time Castor asked for his father, he broke down in front of him.

But was this the time to tell him, at least a little? And was this okay?

As he didn't speak for a long time, he noticed that Castor's eyes were turning melancholy and understanding before his son gave a sad smile.

"It's okay dad. You don't have to say anything. I understand,"

It was then he made up his mind. He could say something about his father. Maybe not all of it. Just a little. It was unfair not to say anything after all. And this is Castor, his beloved son. Someone he wanted to be always happy. And if his reluctance to say anything about his father seemed to hurt him, he would try his best to make him happy again.

Even if he had to recall about him.

"Your father was… handsome. Very handsome Castor," he started tentatively. He watched as Castor looked at him in disbelief. He looked like he couldn't believe he was saying anything considering how he didn't want to talk about it. But he also had a glint of interest and curiosity in his eyes that made him smile and continue.

He smiled.

"He was intelligent, witty and always made me feel special… loved," he gulped at the last word. Loved. He still didn't quite know if the emotions he had felt from him before was genuine or only a ploy to make him fall for him for ulterior motives. Perhaps because he was the Black heir?

'But how would he even be able to plan an ulterior motive when he didn't know who you were from the start?'

He shook his head the questions and uncertainties that was running inside his mind because he knew that if he continued, he would just end up tearing and hurting himself. He wasn't an emotional person and few could tug his heart. Unfortunately, he was one of the triggers. He took a deep breath, released it and then laughed a little.

"Dad?" Castor asked hesitantly. He looked at his son who was looking at him cautiously. He motioned for him to come towards him and patted the space beside him. He sat and held his hand on his small and delicate looking hands. He drew some strength from his son.

"Your father and I didn't really start like how a conventional couple started. We first met in an unusual situation," he started. He knew Castor was still an eight-year-old child. Wasn't even due to arrive at Hogwarts for another three years. He might not understand what he was talking about. That he was already telling him how his relationship with his father started.

But Castor is an intelligent child who was more mature than even himself. He knew from the bottom of his heart with even his mind agreeing that whatever he say, Castor would understand even the hidden meanings.

And this was the only way he'd be able to tell Castor about his father. About the good times, the innocent ones. This way was best for his son. He's still just eight after all.

'I have to tell him eventually' he inwardly sighed at that thought since he couldn't deny that. It's a fact. He had to tell him. 'Soon, when he's old enough to fully understand and accept it.'

"You know that your dad was an auror before right?" he continued. Castor nodded, looking at him intently. "Well, I was doing undercover work with your Uncle James. I was under Polyjuice Potion at that time, the one that was tinkered by your Uncle Sev," he said. Again, his son nodded. The polyjuice potion that Severus had tinkered was new and improved. They didn't taste anything contrary to what was usual even if the thickness was the same and more importantly, the effect lasts till twelve hours.

Only their group – meaning the Marauders, Severus and Lily knows. Of course with Castor and Harry since Severus was privately teaching them potions since apparently, they had the talent – knew about it along with all the existing potions Severus had improved. He didn't want everyone to know about what he did. He didn't even want them to know about it because despite his friendship with Lily, Severus and the marauders still had bad history. They only saw each other as acquaintance and tolerated each other because of Lily and the two kids who seemed to like the sour man.

"I took the form of a black-haired girl at that time," he looked at his son's face, watching as Castor's eyes widened in surprise.

"You were a girl when you met father?" when he nodded, he looked at him in amazement. "And he didn't know since your undercover right dad?" he nodded again. "Whoa! And father fell in love with your form?" his son asked eagerly. He laughed, unrestrained and genuine for the first time since he willingly thought about the past before everything changed.

"No. Your father didn't even notice me that time. I was almost caught by the bad guys that time when I just grabbed your father, dragged him into a slightly dark alley and kissed him senseless. Tongue and all," he said absentmindedly. He blinked, returning back to his senses when he heard a squeak. He then remembered that he was talking to his son. To his eight-year-old son casually about kissing his father senseless. With some graphic words.

Oh shit.

He looked at his son who was red-faced in embarrassment. He was covering his mouth and when he saw him looking, he dropped his gaze on his own lap and his ears looked to be reddened even more. He was about to speak to his son about his crude words – He was talking to his son for Merlin's sake, not to his friends! – when he suddenly stopped and stared hard at his obviously embarrassed son.

Wait a minute. Wouldn't an eight-year-old kid, no matter how intelligent would not react like he knew about kissing someone senseless? Wouldn't they be like confused since they didn't know what that really was? Did his son read on his numerous books something like that? Or...

"Castor, why are you blushing?" he asked in suspicion. Castor turned into a tomato red even more than before. Tentative ideas cropped into his head. Did someone went ahead and did that to his son when he wasn't looking? His hands curled into fist angrily at the thought. If they did, they would feel and see why Blacks were feared in general. "Castor… do you know about kissing? Did you saw someone?"

Castor squeaked a little before he spoke in a soft voice. "I… I saw Uncle James and Lily do that in their kitchen with Harry before…" he answered. He blinked and then laughed out loud.

'Was that the time when Lily was so furious with James and why Remus looked like he was trying to get out of the house immediately that day?'

"With Harry?" Castor nodded and looked at him in the eye, though he still looked embarrassed and his cheeks was still tinted a little red.

"Umm… yes. He asked Uncle Remus why Aunt and Uncle are exchanging spits. And he said it was yucky," again, he laughed loudly.

Imagining that scene in his head made him laugh even more hysterically. His heart lightened up. He was relieved that that was the case and what he had feared was only his hyperactive imagination. And this light temporary end to their talk about his son's father is making him relax despite the memories swirling inside his mind that he willingly tapped just to tell his son about his other parent.

Talking about the past to his son, talking about him wasn't and wouldn't be easy. He knew that. But if in this way he could make his son happy, then he's okay with it.

He could do this. Just one step at a time.

Castor just stared at his dad with a small smile on his lips. His dad didn't look too sad remembering the past now.

He's okay.

And he's happy about that.

A/N:

Hmmm…. I'm not that satisfied with this chapter… I feel it's lacking... oh well *shrug*

The father of Castor and Sirius' greatest love would not be revealed yet. But you're free to tell me about your suspicions. As for pairings... I'm not sure. I haven't plotted about that yet. But if I do stick him into a relationship, it would be to a male. just a heads up homophobes! Warning was already stated above!

See you next chapter!