---

six
FLOWERS

I bought you flowers but they died on the way
I brought you dead flowers

I guess they feel the same
so take these dead flowers
keep these dead flowers
so you can forever think of me

in exchange for these flowers
I'll take back the hours
I spent trying to feel that way

Flowers, Never Heard of It

---

"Yo, Sakura. Ino."

Shikamaru twiddled his thumbs around the cloth of his pockets- he had to bite his lip slightly to keep him from revealing the torrent of confusion and wild speculation whirling through his overwhelmed mind. The silence- the silence was unnerving, and he struggled to put on the front that he usually so effortlessly held. Talk, damn it! He thought desperately. You women are always yapping anyway! Something,anything,to distract from the chaos that was his thoughts.

"Sh...Shikamaru..." Ino blinked. He looks much better now, she thought, looking him up and down. Maybe Sakura was right. Maybe she did just worry too much. There was something in his gaze, the smirk on his lips, and somehow she couldn't find any words.

Sakura glanced between the two chuunin, and somehow she felt like she was the one interrupting something. Despite his greeting, Shikamaru hadn't taken his eyes off the blonde kunoichi.

"You look better, Shikamaru," Ino said finally, with a bold smile on her face- slightly teasing, mostly relieved.

"Ah, yeah." Sakura watched as Shikamaru raised a hand to scratch at his head. "Thanks, Ino." The grin on his face... it looked almost nervous. And he was clearly here to talk to Ino, who had been worrying about-

A small smile crept over Sakura's face as she put two and two together.

Nails. Skin. Nails on skin. Flesh. Sounds. Groans. Shikamaru's thoughts were disjointed, hazardous, and he fought for control- something he wasn't used to. He should've stayed at home, he should've just stayed in the silence of his room where he could rant it out all he wanted, but now he was here in front of Sakura and Ino and- what was that look on her face? Wait... was he acting nervous? Yes, he was- Shit, she couldn't think-

"Ahh!" Sakura exclaimed suddenly, leaping to her feet. "I almost forgot! Tsunade-senpai will have my head if I don't get back- sorry Ino, I'll talk to you later-" she ran out of the door in a blur of pink hair and smiles, only looking back briefly at the doorway at Shikamaru's questioning gaze to offer him a small wink.

Oh shit, she could

He had never felt this bewildered before. Wild images kept racing through his mind's eye overlaid with the world before him, thoughts screaming an arguing- he fought hard to fight his quickening pulse, his shallow breaths. Of all places he was here now, and he couldn't show Ino anything. Anything.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Shikamaru," Ino said, smiling. Sakura had made a rather sudden exit, but it didn't matter, if she'd stayed they would've just continued their argument. She wasglad her friend was feeling better, and they needn't give him a splitting headache- Ino knew just how Shikamaru felt about what he described as the troublesome tendency of women to talk and talk, and she'd decided to try and hold back this time, as much as she could. "Did you want to talk to me or something?"

He could almost hear blood pounding in his ears- and fainter still the sounds of deep groans, soft echoes that resonated through the memory. Agh... she asked you something! ...answer, damnit! "Ah, I just want to thank you, I guess," Shikamaru said finally, grinning again. And in the midst of the relief of finally finding words, he realized that he was just standing there awkwardly in the doorway with a stupid grin on his face.

Ino grinned back. "That's sweet of you, Shikamaru!" ...and rather uncharacteristically so. He's fidgeting, she noticed- his fingers were twitching, his weight shifting slightly from side to side... Sweating. His breathing... a little quicker than normal. Her training as a medic-nin came into play- she was not as much of a reader of people as she knew others (especially Shikamaru) could be, but she could pick up the signals. Interpreting them... not so much. But she tried. Symptomatic of... various diseases ran through her head. She frowned slightly. But first check for... fatigue. ...Nervousness? But why would Shikamaru be nervous?

Okay, okay, you can salvage this... wipe that damn grin off your face! No no, don't just stand there like a zombie- fuck... controlling himself was difficult, it was as though everything that always seemed to run itself was now to Shikamaru's manual control. Breathe in, breathe out, blink. But no matter what he did, there was only one thing that was appearing before his eyes and he couldn't force it away... and the only thing even vaguely sane was the voice in his head pestering him. This is too much, it whispered, You can't handle much more. You don't just need a distraction.

I know, he told it, I need to make Sasuke fuck off.

"...Shikamaru?" ...was he just standing there? Ino blinked. Shikamaru's eyes were still fixed at her, but staring straight, as though looking at something beyond her- glazed over, almost. Maybe he wasn't feeling better after all... "Are you alright?"

No, thanks for asking. Wild memories drifted through- the smell of sweat and blood, mud and grass, the gentle feather-light brush of black silken hair, so unlike the cold fingers that grasped everywhere else- but ah, it felt so...

"I'm fine, Ino," he said, whirling around quickly- he muttered a quick curse under his breath and took the moment to massage at his throbbing forehead and grit his teeth in frustration. Should he get out of here? But Ino could help him, she did before- kind of. It was amazing what that visit did for him earlier- and Chouji was nowhere to be found. And besides...

You don't just need a distraction.

No,he told himself firmly, No. I can't just manipulate Ino like that. I can't do that to her.

"You sure?" Ino had stepped forward and turned around curiously. "You don't look it..."

Shikamaru drew himself upright slowly and forced an uncaring shrug and a deep sigh (that was not forced and may have had it's sources elsewhere). "Telling you again is troublesome. If you don't believe me, you don't."

Ino paused, and grinned widely. Thatsounded more like the Shikamaru she knew.

He had no reason to stay now... but he needed to. He wanted to go back to his room and tear at the walls and bedsheets in frustration, and while that was the easier choice he knew it was not he better. His friends had helped him before, and they would help him again- they didn't need to do the specifics. They could do it. Just by being there. "...what if I help you out a little?"

"Ehhh?"Thatdid not sound like the Shikamaru she knew.

"It's been ages since I hung out here," he shrugged. "Besides if I go home they might send people after me... I've skipped out on some of my chuunin duties, after all. They don't know where I am now."

"Alright then." That made sense. I guess. Ino had spent most of the day worrying anyway, and some of the flowers needed tending to. Not that Shikamaru had any idea how to. "ButI'llhandle the work." Ino supposed Shikamaru was still shaken from... whatever it was that happened to him, that maybe he just wanted some company.Not that he'd ever admit it.

Ino watched as Shikamaru shrugged- he wasn't about to protest not being given any work to do! But she did have somethingShikamaru could help with. "I've got a few bouquet orders and I haven't picked out the flowers yet. Why don't you do that?"

"You're troublesome, Ino."

"You're the one who wanted to help!" the blonde kunoichi stuck out her tongue. "Just pick out ones you think look pretty," she said teasingly.

"Yare yare," Shikamaru shrugged. "It's better than doing paperwork."And it's something to distract me with.. agh. He turned wordlessly and started wandering the aisles, pausing now and then to look at the flowers, trying to ignore the incessant voice in his mind and the memories that kept hovering before his very eyes.What the hell did you do?Damn... Fuck you-

---

"Sasuke."

The black-haired genin tore his gaze from his own reflection in the water. His legs dangled off the edge of the platform, his feet just barely skimming over the surface, every small twitch creating ripples that warped the image that stared back at him with empty eyes. He wasn't sure who he was expecting to see (maybe Naruto, that idiot), but he did not expect Kakashi.

His mentor gazed down at him- Sasuke grit his teeth. He hated the knowing look in the jounin's eye, the quiet superiority... the pity. What does he want now? He thought bitterly, turning his eyes back to the water. Bastard.

"Where were you?"

Oh, so he was just here to reprimand for not being at training. Sasuke had wanted to go somewhere where he was sure Naruto and Sakura wouldn't find him. He would've went to training the next day. At the time, he had just wanted to be alone- and he wasn't, not anymore. He didn't know much about Kakashi, but he hated what little he knew. For someone who was supposed to be helping him grow stronger, he didn't seem like much. Never on time, never did much for what training sessions they already had. All he ever did was read that book- the pervert.

"Here," he answered- there was no respect in his tone of voice, no acknowledgment of the man's status as his mentor. He knew that scolding was coming, or something along the lines thereof- harsh words and idle threats that he knew many to use. None of them ever got to him, of course.

But there was no reply. No change. Sasuke sensed Kakashi take a few steps forward until he was directly behind the genin- if not for that, Sasuke might've thought he was no longer there. He drew his breath and waited for something to break the expectant silence that hovered between them, but it never came.

Threats never worked on him because of what threats were. The way to get what you wanted out of someone, the way to manipulate them- the key lies in knowing what they wanted. Knowing their greatest desires, their greatest fears. But no one knew what he made his life's goal- no one understood what he wanted, what he feared, what he loved. No one knew what he saw in the water, what he saw in his own reflection.

The sun was beginning to dip past the horizon and the area was flooded with pale red light, the clouds painted with oranges and yellows. Other people might have looked at it and seen beauty. Other people might have found inspiration, the glories of life. But the only thing that Sasuke could see were the colors of fire that brought destruction and madness and death.

He saw Kakashi's reflection rippling in the water, standing just behind him. The jounin seemed to be gazing in the water as well, hands tucked casually in his pockets, body weight slouched to one side... it was with a jolt that the realization came- Kakashi was not gazing at his ownreflection, but at Sasuke's.

"So this is what you've been doing all day, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said finally, a teasing air to his tone. "Staring at your reflection?"

Sasuke said nothing, but kept his gaze determinedly fixed in the water, at his own rippling eyes that flashed with annoyance. He couldn't believe Kakashi was still here. Couldn't the old jounin get bored or something and just leave him alone?

"Now now, Sasuke-kun," his mentor said cheerily, smiling (Sasuke never understood how he could do that with just one eye). "You arecute, but even still staring at yourself all day must be boring."

"What-!?" Sasuke snapped his head around, staring at his teacher (I can't believe that pervert is supposed to be my teacher!) with an expression of indignant surprise, disbelief and disgust. "What are you-"

"Don't need to thank me," Kakashi said, the smile still ever-present, completely ignoring his student's reaction. "I thought you'd like looking at my reflection better."

"You thought- what!?" Sasuke sputtered. This wasn't something he was counting on.

"After all," the jounin continued, bringing his gaze back to the water, his tone lowering slightly, "You don't see yourself at all, do you?"

Sasuke froze. His eyes searched the jounin, the wild shock of silver hair, the mask and headband covering most of his face- his expressions were unreadable, his intentions unknown. He was right- Sasuke never did see himself even in his own reflection. But...

"I know that look in your eyes all too well," Kakashi said, interrupting Sasuke's thoughts.

"..How did you-?"

He didn't finish the question, but somehow he felt he didn't need to.

"I did the same too, once."

Sasuke blinked. "You did... the same?"

Kakashi never took his eyes off the water as he replied. "Tried to find myself in the water," he said simply, "Only to see himinstead."

He remembered that day all too well.

It was the first time he started to feel any form of actual respect for his mentor- although he never called him sensei.

Sasuke made his way through the crowds, walking through that felt distantly familiar- as though he was returning to a long-lost home that he once knew so well. Things had changed- not much, he knew, but it still felt so different. He took in the vibrant colors with distaste, pointedly ignored (but quietly reveled in) the whispers that passed from ear to ear as he moved through the sea of people. This world was much too bright for one such as he- no wonder he didn't want to come back.

Kakashi was following him. He didn't bother to check. He didn't think, heknew.

Sasuke himself was confused nowadays- a feeling rather unfamiliar. No matter what he tended to encounter in his life, he had never wavered, never known uncertainty, simply because everything in the end only served to bring him closer to his vengeance or bring him further from it. The former to be found, the latter to be avoided- everything else, not worth his time. So why all these worthless thoughts and feelings now- questions he had not asked since before he made the choice to be labelled as a traitor?

And why the hell was Kakashi stalking him?

Perverted bastard.

---

Hmm?

Kakashi leapt silently from rooftop to rooftop, eyes steadily following the figure that vanished and reappeared constantly through the crowd. It was too much to hope for that Sasuke hadn't noticed him. What did surprise him was that Sasuke probably knew he was being followed- and wasn't doing a thing about it.

"I haven't bothered to conceal myself for days, now."

The silver-haired shinobi frowned slightly. He still didn't understand what Sasuke had hoped to achieve from allowing himself to be found- and he hardly understood why Sasuke was in the village now. After Sasuke vanished that night, Kakashi had managed to track his undisguised trail towards the village gates, and sure enough Sasuke was within Konoha itself. Part of Kakashi wanted to believe that his former student had seen the light and was merely returning home in an attempt to rebuild his broken life- but he knew that it couldn't be further from the truth... but Sasuke never did something without a reason, either. He must have had a purpose here in Konoha, something he was after, something he wanted- something that might inevitably prove to be part of a greater plan. Probably one to pursue the man that had haunted Sasuke's dreams and nightmares ever since that fateful night...

Itachi.

Sasuke never knew this, but Kakashi had known Itachi briefly. Not as a friend (he never did have friends) but not just as a far-off name, either. Itachi's brief career at the ANBU covered many ranks, so rapidly did he advance through them- they had eventually ended up in the same team- fittingly enough. People had whispered of how Itachi was the epitome of Uchiha genius, that his innate talent and skill at his young age had never been seen since the likes of- well, since the likes of Hatake Kakashi.

They had never talked, but then it was the ANBU- you never talked. There was no time for talk. A wasted second was the difference between life and death in the world of the shinobi, with the ANBU more than anywhere else. But they had known each other- on the battlefield your life was your comrade's, and their life was yours.

Itachi... seemed to be the exception. The ANBU were a seamless team, almost psychic in their abilities to complement each other in battle. Itachi had no such worries for the safety of his comrades, and paid little heed to the general flow of battle. As far as Kakashi could tell, Itachi simply slaughtered and killed, treating everything as a test, a measure of his own incredible power.

Everyone was nothing in Itachi's eyes, worthless, meaningless, powerless compared to his own strength. He did not acknowledge his superiors, and hardly bothered with respect. Kakashi had always thought it was because of Itachi's upbringing- treated almost as a God of shinobi, superior and gifted even within the elite Uchiha clan, but yet constrained by their traditions, bound by their rules- perhaps he saw ANBU as an escape, an outlet. In the ANBU, names were never used- it was a place where he would be known only by his strength in the battlefield. Kakashi had been one of the few people Itachi would so much as acknowledge. Kakashi had always thought that Itachi was... different, unstable (more than anyone else in the ANBU that is), and he knew the opinion was shared by many.

But no one- no one- expected the slaughter.

Least of all you, Sasuke.

Kakashi still remembered when he first found out he would be teaching the great Uchiha Sasuke, the last heir to the tragic legacy of the Uchiha. The jounin had at the time heard many great things about the young shinobi, about how his genius surpassed that of anyone his age tenfold- but while no one would speak the name aloud, Kakashi knew that he was simply not as fast, not was great, as Uchiha Itachi.

He must have just been like any other child, before that day- a genius, true, living in his brother's ever-lengthening shadow, but still a child. And to have everything, everything,pulled from beneath him in one day- Kakashi could not know entirely, but he could imagine what it felt like. And he knew what he could do. And so he asked them their greatest ambitions...

...To kill a certain man.

As dedicated to vengeance as Itachi had been to power.

...Hm.

Kakashi couldn't find Sasuke in the crowd anymore. He backtracked, scanned the crowd- leapt down from the rooftops in order to check up close, but he could not find a trace of it. He did not bother to try and track Sasuke by scent- if Sasuke did not want to be found, he knew very well how to do it, and would make no mistakes. So why did he come back- why did he not disguise it before? Did Sasuke want Kakashi to know he had returned to Konoha? For what purpose? Where was Sasuke now?

And Kakashi had one sneaking suspicion...

---

"Ah. Really?"

Shikamaru laughed half-heartedly, wiping a hand across his sweating brow. It wasn't because of the work, walking around picking random flowers was hardly physically taxing, as troublesome as it was. It was because while the chaos in his mind was slowly beginning to fade, it still kept him on the verge of panic. Ino had been tending to the flowers, snipping and rearranging and spraying and all manner of flower-type-chores Shikamaru didn't understand, and they had kept up their idle conversation. Ino didn't know everything, but she knew enough. She knew that whatever happened to him, he didn't want to talk about it. She knew that he was here for a reason- and she knew at least one of those reasons was keeping his mind of things. It may have been the first time that Shikamaru was truly grateful for Ino's incessant chatter.

"Yep!" Ino said cheerfully, adjusting some daisies in their vase. "Sakura's finally giving that idiot Naruto a chance. I mean not finally, they've been kind of at it for ages,but Sakura just decided to make it official-"

Maybe she doesn't know anything, Shikamaru grumbled in his thoughts. She's such a gossip... how troublesome.

He had a better grasp over his thoughts now, and for that he was grateful. His eyes wandered over to the vases in a corner where he had already set down one bouquet of flowers- he'd been picking them out scarcely aware of his surroundings, muttering half-hearted answers to Ino's attempts at conversaiton, too busy at trying to tame the wild thoughts that tortured him- he'd expected them to be a downright mess that he should fix to be mildly acceptable before Ino had his head.

It actually looked alright, although all the colors were rather large and colorful and there were hardly any complimentary blooms- Ino always talked about how flowers shouldn't compete for attention and should instead support each other.

" - It's about time, really," he heard Ino continue in the background, "I understand it must have been hard for her, but really she should've gotten over Sasuke-"

Sasuke.

He nearly lost his balance- he grabbed a nearby shelf to steady himself. Ino had been facing the other way and didn't notice- it wasn't her fault, not even a slip of a tongue, she couldn't have known- she had no idea. The images came again, unbidden in his thoughts- his breath grew ragged and his hands started to tremble, struggling to act normal he continued to look over the flowers-

"Good."

The whispers came unwanted- memories and lingering echoes of the cold voice, mingled with gasps and moans- the low words Sasuke had hissed into his ear...

"So very... obedient..."

His eyes widened slightly- the flowers, the flowers, he just realized, weren't so haphazardly picked out after all- the voices in his mind rang clearer than Ino's, and he realized, he had been picking out those flowers while struggling with thoughts of him-

"Don't close your eyes..."

Jonquil... baby's breath. Maidenhair ferns. Could it be? He choked slightly, and he could hear Ino ask something with concern in her voice, but he could hardly hear her now-

"Almost... subservient."

Primroses, red carnations- those umbels, white to pale pink, were they corianders? Bright purple heliotropes-

"Open your eyes."

Jonquil- want for return of affection. The voice in the back of his mind rattled off the meanings systematically. Baby's breath- everlasting love. Maidenhair fern- a bond of love, a secret one. It couldn't- it can't... was that acacia..?

"I want you to see me-"

The commentary continued, relentless. Primroses- a message, "I can't live without ou". Red carnations- an heart that aches. He stumbled again and his arm caught himself- Ino was coming towards him now, hurriedly. Heliotropes- devotion and faith. Loyalty. Coriander- lust. His eyes caught sight of one dark bloom in the middle of it all-

"- I want you to look at me-"

Black rose. "You are the object of my obsession."

His eyes slid down and stared at the flowers he held-acacia, maidenhair fern- they were the same, he realized, the same...

"- So you can't pretend-"

"Shikamaru? Shikamaru-" Ino shook her friend worriedly. He'd just collapsed randomly with heavy breath, wide-open eyes as though in delusional shock, one hand still holding on to flower stalks, the other clawing weakly at his chest. What was it, some kind of... nervous breakdown? It was all she could make of it, but she'd simply never known Shikamaru to be the kind to suffer from panic attacks- and what here could have set it off? If she could just get him to lie down abit she could use some medical ninjutsu to calm him down a little- her eyes caught sight of the flowers. Trained eyes took it in quickly- and her eyes widened. Did... did he pick those on purpose? There was no way he could just randomly pick flowers like that and have them all mean.. whoever that guy was, was hethe reason behind all this? "Shikamaru- the flowers. You- is it- who are they...?"

Damnit- Ino noticed, she's worried, Shikamaru yelled at himself- I can't let her- can't let her know about- shit... What can I do?

"Shikamaru- can you hear me?" This wasn't good- should she call for help? Was he blacking out?

"- That it's someone else..."

Shikamaru pulled himself upright slowly, realizing that Ino was helping him up- e was recovering slightly- it was just a random thing, a flashback, brought on by Ino's mention of the name- even as he thought this he could hardly keep his thoughts straight- he couldn't let her know, he had to come up with something-and without thinking he shoved the flowers he held into Ino's hands, forcing her to take them.

"So you can't pretend..."

Ino blinked, staring bewilderedly as Shikamaru's hands weakly guided hers to close around the flower stalks. ...me? But- is this why Sakura- but- what? "Sh-Shikamaru...?"

Oh shit, what troublesome shit have you gotten yourself into now? Idiot... agh. He drew shallow breaths, trying to think his way out of it, even he could hear the cold fading voice still whispering in his ear-

"...That it isn't me."

---

A/N: I hope this works the way I'd want it to... some of it didn't quite turn out how I had hoped and I might go back and tweak it later. I'm relatively happy with it, though, so here it is.

What's poor Shika got himself into now...?

As always thanks for your reviews and your support! I hope you liked this chapter as much as the rest, and as always let me know! I'm always glad to hear from you.

Now to actually do homework... and then on to chapter seven!