***WARNING***

Due to some feedback I thought it necessary to add this warning.

There is reference to, and threats of, rape in this chapter. Please be aware if this topic offends you or makes you uncomfortable.

There is also talk of suicide and murder in this chapter.

I am not here to offend anybody and will try to be more accurate with my warnings in the future.

**Author's notes**

Alright, I had wanted to get more finished with this chapter, but it was getting long and I figured I'd go ahead and post what I have so you wouldn't have to wait longer.

I am going to be trying something a little new with this chapter and will be including some things from Remus' perspective. I had been focusing on Sirius' perspective since Remus was a mystery, but now that we're getting to know him better I thought I would include it to add some new dynamics to the story. Let me know what you think, or if it was better the way I had it.

Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers, and please keep up the feed back!

-Laughs- The more reviews I get, the faster the updates come! ((Yes, I know I'm shameless ^^; ))

Remus grinned wickedly as Sirius opened his mouth for air, the expression seeming foreign on his face.

"Are you afraid of me now, Black?" He asked and loosened his grip enough that Sirius could get a few gulps of air. "Answer me!"

Sirius took a moment to catch his breath, then, to Remus' horror, smiled and laughed.

"I'm surprised… but still not scared, Little Lupin." He teased up at him.

"I'm about to kill you! You should be terrified!" He growled at him in frustration.

"Um, attempted suicide? Why would I be afraid of dying?"

Remus looked so angry that he didn't know what to do with himself, though his fingers were still holding onto Sirius' neck. Sirius would never tell Lupin that the reason he wasn't afraid was because he could feel the slight tremor in his fingertips, and knew that he wouldn't follow through with his threats.

"Fine. If you're not afraid of dying, then maybe I'll wait and rape you in your sleep." Remus threatened, trying a new tactic.

The threat only made Sirius grin wider, as he tried not to laugh at the comical image he had of Remus attempting something so outlandish.

"That's very flattering, but I really don't think it's possible." Sirius said smoothly, his fingers ghosting over Remus' knee where he was straddled across his stomach, wanting to laugh when he felt Remus squirm.

"Oh? Think I'm not strong to fuck you into the mattress?" He threatened again, putting pressure on his throat again until he heard Sirius grunt a little, then he lightened up.

"Heh," Sirius said as he caught his breath, "Actually, I figured that your raping me would wake me up… It'd be hard to do something like that while I'm sleeping."

"Stop doing that!" Remus suddenly shouted at him, looking like he was running out of ways to handle the situation.

"Doing what?"

"Making me sound stupid!" Remus shouted again.

"You do it to yourself, Remus."

"Shut up!" Remus started putting pressure on his throat again. "If you don't shut up and leave me alone I swear to God, I really will kill you!"

He looked so frustrated that Sirius imagined he saw a slight shimmer of moisture in his eyes. The glare was gone a moment later, though, as he felt Sirius's hands take hold of his wrists and he tried to pull away, but was held fast. Sirius was looking up at him with a kind of force that he hadn't seen in him yet. He wasn't playing or teasing him any more. The intensity of emotion in his gunmetal eyes sent a shiver down Remus' spine.

"Do it." Sirius said with raw ferocity in his voice and eyes. "Choke me to death. Right now." He pulled Remus' hands closer to him. "I won't even struggle."

Remus hesitated momentarily, but then grit his teeth and leaned in, putting weight on his hands as he squeezed around Sirius' neck. Sirius watched him resolutely, doing nothing to stop him save for tensing his neck muscles. This was a battle of wills now, and Sirius refused to be taken in by what he was sure was a bluff. Even as his eyes began to blur, and Remus' growling began to sound tunneled, Sirius refused to break eye contact. He watched as a battle waged on Lupin's attractive face, and then it was over and his neck was released.

"What do you want from me?" Remus nearly screamed , his shoulders slumping and his head hanging forward. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Sirius could feel Remus' body shaking where he was still sitting on top of him, and while he was distracted he used the hold on his wrists to yank him down so he was laying chest to chest with him. Remus stiffened at the proximity and Sirius could hear a breath hitch in Remus' his throat. Sirius was sure that Remus would be able to feel the effect he was having on him pressing hard against his hip, though he fought the urge to smile, feeling like his point had to be made.

"I want you to stop being such a twat." He said, anger sharpening his words into honed points. "I want you to stop threatening me when it's obvious that you cant follow through with any of it, and I want you to stop with the aloof princess act." He pulled him a little closer as he felt and heard Remus begin his rebuttal. The jerking motion silenced him and Sirius dropped the sharpness of his tone, saying more gently, "I want you to tell me."

Remus was still shaking subtly, though he found himself frozen in place, the smell of Sirius' shampoo and sweat making him feel fuzzy headed. This man scared him. He never knew what Sirius was going to do next, and just his presence made his will power feel shaky, like prison walls turning to loose sand.

"Tell you what?" He found himself asking, almost in a whisper before he could stop himself.

Sirius finally let himself grin as he turned his head, brushing his cheek against his and saying in a low, dulcet tone, "Everything. I want to know all of your secrets…"

As the word "secrets" left his lips they were touching Remus' ear, and Sirius could feel the tremor that ran through his body and just thought that he felt a hardening response against him when Remus yanked himself away from his touch, though to Sirius' surprise, he didn't hear the door slam shut.

As Sirius sat up, still feeling a little light headed from the lack of oxygen and raised blood pressure in his head, he saw that Remus was sitting at the foot of his bed, one knee folded under him, the other pulled up near his chest, looking resigned, but edgy. Sirius smiled uncertainly as Remus glanced at him, then looked back at his knee where he was picking at a thread of his sleeping pants.

"Are you actually going to stay here and talk to me?" Sirius asked.

"No!" Remus snapped out of reflex, then looked down again, brows still pulled angrily. "Maybe."

Sirius crossed his legs under himself, bringing a hand up to his mouth to try and keep from laughing. He watched Remus for a long time in silence, suspecting that pressing him would just set him back. Instead, he played spectator to an obvious battle waging across Remus' handsome features.

Remus felt his stomach pitch when he glanced at Sirius and saw his slate eyes watching him so very closely. They were gentler than he was expecting them to be, but it didn't cool the heat they left behind where they bored into him. From the moment they'd met, Remus felt those eyes could strip even his flesh away from him, could see past any defense that Remus put up, straight down to all of his secrets. Feeling panicked he jumped up off the bed, but instead of fleeing he started pacing back and forth between the two beds, chewing nervously on his thumbnail needing an outlet for his nervous energy.

Sirius had never seen Remus like this, with so much uncertainty waging in his mind. Fear and indecision came off of his pacing body in waves that Sirius thought were almost tangible. He watched Remus' mouth open several times, only to snap shut again, seeming to be unable to decide on a single course of action, though after several attempts he finally spun around to meet Sirius face to face again.

"You're so unfair!" Remus said a little more loudly than was necessary as he waved an arm frantically.

"Oh?" Sirius hummed.

"Yes! You're always snooping into my business but you wont even offer up any of your own! You're a hypocrite." He said, going back to his pacing, trying to shift the focus from himself to Sirius. .

"Well what do you want to know?" He asked, suppressing his urge to laugh at his suddenly childish behavior, he smiled as Remus stopped his pacing yet again, the look on his face telling him that he wasn't sure what he wanted to ask him.

"Why are you here?" He asked quietly, still watching him with his brows furrowed in distrust.

"Well I tried to kill myself, but you already knew that, didn't you?" He remembered the way that Remus was able to read him during their first meeting.

"See? That's what I'm talking about! You're so full of yourself!" Remus raised his voice again. "You expect everyone to give you everything but you don't offer anything in retur-" He was cut off as Sirius continued in a surprisingly quiet tone, though it silenced him as though he had been shouting.

"My brother, Regulus, killed himself a year and a half ago." He said quietly, his eyes locking on Remus'.

Sirius wasn't sure why he was telling him this. Remus was right about him, after all. He wanted everyone to tell him their secrets, but he protected his own violently, knowing what people like himself did with secrets once they'd found them. He told himself that it was a bartering tactic, that he was using his own information to garner trust that would allow him to hear Lupin's. Whatever the reason was, he felt his amusement and his fire slow to a weak crackle as he continued.

"He was my parents' golden child. But even though he walked like them and talked like them when he had to, I knew that he wasn't like them. Not really." He smiled faintly to himself as kind memories of his brother filled his head. "He was always trying to keep everyone happy. It was a flaw, really, he never knew how to say 'no' to anyone."

Remus sank down to sit on the edge of his own bed, sitting directly across from Sirius now. He'd never seen Sirius like this. The smile on his face was heartbreaking, so different from the mischievous grin he usually wore and he felt a stirring of sympathy for him.

"I could tell that my parents were demanding too much from him." Sirius continued, his smile fading. "Every time I came home from boarding school he seemed worse and worse. Finally they told him that he'd been betrothed to a girl he'd never met from some famous family in Spain. They wanted the marriage to build ties between our families. Apparently it was too much for him. He jumped off the balcony attached to his room on the fourth floor."

Remus stayed silent as he watched Sirius' face, the other boy seeming lost somewhere in his head. This hadn't really been the information that he'd asked for, but it was still a sign of trust that he was divulging it. Just as he opened his mouth to redirect the story back to Sirius, he got what he wanted.

"After that, my parents decided I would fill his shoes." Sirius said, any sentimental emotion gone, his voice tight now and harsh. "They started dragging me to their parties to meet people who didn't even know Regulus had a brother. And I was told that I would take over Reg's betrothal." He paused again, then grinned. "So I did everything in my power to make their lives hell. Eventually, I jumped off the same balcony my brother had. I thought it would be funny if they lost both of their kids the same way." He reached out toward Remus. "Gimme your hand." He said, not leaving room for argument.

Remus hesitated before extending his hand. Sirius' long, warm fingers closed around his and he tugged Remus toward him, forcing him to stand as he pushed his hand into his long, black mane behind his left ear. Remus could feel a tiny bump there.

"They had to reconstruct part of my skull. I wasn't as lucky as my brother was." He gently let go of Remus' hand, smiling when he felt Remus continue to feel around the area without his insistence. "So my mother dumped me off here. She said I can go home when I straighten up and learn what my priorities are." He finished off-handedly.

Remus seemed to realize that he was still rutting around in Sirius' soft hair and pulled his hand way, sitting back down across from him.

"Sorry my story's a bit underwhelming. Like you said, I'm just a selfish guy who was going to kill himself to make people angry." He said, grinning a tight grin that was obviously there to hide something more vulnerable.

Things were quiet between them for a long time and Remus wondered if he should be happy to know this about Sirius. The more he knew about the black haired man, the more he wanted to put distance between them. He was uncomfortable with the emotional proximity of friends.

"Well?" Sirius' voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

Remus looked up at him and saw that Sirius clearly expected him to take his turn and divulge his secrets. He knew he wasn't ready for it, so he stalled.

"You're really cruel, you know that?" Remus said quietly, glancing at him through the gentle swoop of his bangs.

"And my parents aren't cruel for denying their children any dreams of their own? Or for driving my brother to suicide?" Sirius said, quirking his already arched brow.

Remus couldn't think of anything to say. His parents were cruel for treating their children like that, and Remus knew that he had no room to speak, but he still felt that Sirius' flippancy regarding his parents' feelings was brutal.

"It's your turn, Remus. Tell me what your relationship with Greyback is." Sirius pressed gently, afraid that if pushed too hard he'd scare Lupin away.

"I…" Remus paused before he could even start so he could take a fortifying breath. "I killed Jona."

Sirius thought that his confession had much more weight to it this time, and as unlikely as it seemed to be, Sirius couldn't help but believe him now.

"Fenrir helped me cover it up… So I wouldn't be sent to jail." Remus finished, looking down at his fingers where they were holding onto each other.

"What do you mean by 'cover it up'?" Sirius asked carefully. "Everyone still thinks you shot him with that arrow."

"The arrow was staged." Remus said so quietly that Sirius had to lean in to hear him. "Fenrir thought we could make it look like an accident if we did it that way."

"Then… How did he die?"

Sirius felt his heart racing, the excitement of nearing his target information sending jolts of excitement through his body, though he realized that the almost tangible electricity flowing through him was tinged with a trepidation that left him feeling shaken. He watched as Remus pulled his feet up onto the edge of the mattress, taking hold of them with both of his hands, his chin resting on his knees as he finally murmured his answer.

"I strangled him in his sleep." Remus raised his dull, brown eyes back to Sirius' as he spoke.

Sirius stared at him searchingly for a long time, unable to formulate his thoughts coherently. He still had a hard time picturing Remus murdering any one. And if he had killed a close friend, why had he been unable to kill him just a few minutes ago when he had sanctioned it. But the force of emotion behind the confession made it clear that Remus gained nothing from lying about it. Sirius asked the only thing he could think to:

"Why would Greyback want to help you cover something like that up?"

Remus worried his lip with his teeth for a moment before answering.

"Because he loves me." He said quietly

Sirius had tried to press Remus for more information, but he had shut down afterward his mention of Greyback's feelings for him, Sirius' inquiry regarding Remus' feelings toward the teacher seeming to be the trigger. He angrily pointed out that they had each answered one question, and that he had technically answered two of Sirius' questions, so there was no reason for him to say anything else. Sirius had found the childish argument endearing in a way, and stopped pressing him, though for the rest of the night he teasingly threatened that they would have to exchange questions again. He didn't press too hard, though, glad that Remus had chosen to remain in the room with him instead of running off again.

The next day Remus was furious to find that Sirius had gone through with his threat to join the archery club. As soon as he saw his black haired roommate walk onto the range he grabbed him by his arm and yanked him out of earshot of the others.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked through his teeth.

"I'm here for practice, what does it look like?" He grinned cheekily.

"You said you wouldn't come if I told you all that rubbish last night!" Remus sounded like he wanted to shout, though he was keeping his voice hushed to keep eavesdroppers out of their conversation.

"If you remember, I never actually said that I wouldn't come. You assumed that." Sirius said, knowing that it was a low blow, but too stubborn to give up now that he's made it so far under the other boy's skin.

"God damn it, Black, You're such a fucking liar." He was still angry, but there was an undercurrent of something else, perhaps an affection, in his voice. It sounded like a close friend admonishing you for something stupid , even if you know they've already forgiven you.

Sirius smiled at him and was rewarded with a twitch at the corner of Remus' mouth, as though he were trying to keep himself from smiling back. As he glanced over Remus' shoulder, however, he caught every member of the club staring at them. Most looked horrified, others looked excited, as though expecting a blood bath. But one pair of eyes caught Sirius' attention over all the others. Greyback was watching them, his eyes looking black and Sirius thought he could feel them boring into him. He could feel the jealousy coming off the man in waves, so Sirius smiled at him. It was a cocky smile, and just to punctuate it he slid his fingers up Remus' arm and pulled him close, dropping his voice to tease him.

"You better be careful, you make me hard when you get angry like that." He said quietly enough that the others wouldn't hear, though Remus' blushing face and jerking motion away from him gave them both away.

The other students started whispering amongst themselves, the gossip being generated in a frenzy, though Greyback reeled them in quickly, then called Sirius and Remus over, telling them not to interrupt the other students. Sirius felt the heat of anger as Greyback's eyes seared into his, though the cool stony pools put out his fire before it could intimidate him.

I feel like the last two chapters that I have done have had a lot of talking in them. In my next chapters I am hoping to start wading into the thick of things, and we should see a bit more action!

!ATTENTION!

I thought it would be fun to have a forum dedicated to this story. I have been dying to have more conversation with my readers and reviewers, and would love anyone who would like to leave a review to also pop over to the forum so we can chat it up.

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