***WARNINGS***

This chapter contains graphic references to, and depictions of murder, child abuse, and animal abuse.

Thanks for coming back for the next chapter. Things are getting a bit darker, so pay attention to the warnings if you're easily bothered or offended. Please review and let me know how you feel about the turn!

Sirius quickly learned that he was offensively bad at archery. He was clearly not made for the sport, as it was all patience and precision and Sirius was nothing but unpredictability and head-first-no-questions. He was easily the least talented person there, and he hated every second of it. But he went back the next day, and the day after that. He hated it more each day, but was stubborn enough to continue, refusing to let the gap between himself and Remus expand again after the pains he'd gone through to knit them closer together. He also found himself amused by the looks of hatred that he caught from Greyback when the man thought he wasn't looking. He particularly enjoyed making the man try and explain technique to him over and over, knowing that the 'good teacher' façade must test his patience. The other students were able to sense the tension between the two, and had no qualms with staying out of it. Were Sirius sensible, the intimidating air the man had about him may have affected him, but luckily, Sirius was not sensible.

Remus pointedly ignored Sirius while they were on the range, though he had become more amiable while alone together in their room. Sirius was starting to see that Remus was mostly a normal young man, not all that different from himself in interests, though his sense of humor was terrible and even Sirius' best jokes couldn't even get him to crack a smile. Being with Remus more often, Sirius also became privy to his habits, some of which made his stomach squirm with curiosity. Several nights a week Remus would not return to their room after dinner, but would come stumbling in well into the morning, collapsing on his bed, rarely managing to get himself under the covers.

Sirius had tried to stay up one night to help him into bed, but the chilly welcome his attempt received left him feigning sleep on those nights instead. He had tried several tactics to get Remus to tell him where he went on those nights, ranging from pleading to threatening, but nothing worked. He had been able to guess on his own that he spent the time with Greyback, though Remus would never tell him why he stayed out so late, or why he always seemed worse-for-wear when he got in. Sirius thought that he may just be sexually exhausted, but he lacked that afterglow giddiness that usually accompanied such a state.

Some nights, when Remus seemed less exhausted he would manage to change into sleeping clothes, and Sirius would watch him from his place in bed. He was certain that what he saw on Remus' body were tattoos and was also certain that most of them were words, though he was still unable to make them out. He had tried leaving the curtains open one night , hoping that the light coming in from the grounds would allow him to read the text, but Remus seemed to be wise to his plan, or just thoughtful of Sirius' comfort, and had closed them before changing.

Sirius had also been impatiently awaiting an opportunity for their next round of questions, but every time he brought it up Remus would say that there was nothing about Sirius that he wanted to know, and would refuse if Sirius tried to give him other incentives, as he said that he was a liar and a cheater. It wouldn't have been so infuriating if it weren't true.

Sirius and Remus continued this way for several weeks, their tentative friendship slowly beginning to strengthen, though Sirius always felt that the foundation of their friendship could crumble with the simplest mistake, so he was careful about when and how he pushed Remus.

"Nice of you to fuckin' join us for a change!" James said loudly as Sirius sat down with them for breakfast.

"Aw, I'm sorry, darling. Have you been feeling neglected?" Sirius teased. "Couldn't wait to get your hands on me, could you?" He winked and James laughed at him.

It hadn't taken James long to sort out Sirius' sexuality, not that Sirius had been very secretive with it. James didn't seem bothered by it and often played flirting games with Sirius, though he was always the one to throw in the towel, usually around the time that Sirius started groping his ass, or sliding fingers tantalizingly up his thigh.

"Sorry, Black. But you know you're not my type." He winked back playfully.

"Oh, that's right. I wouldn't want to make your girlfriend jealous, would I?"

James glared at him and Peter as they both fell into laughter, spearing his eggs violently, pretending they were his friends.

It had been nearly a week since Sirius finally learned what had landed James at Slughorn's, and he'd been laughing at him for it ever since, taking any opportunity he could. Peter had told him:

"He claims he's being stalked by an invisible girl." He'd said, trying to sound serious, though his cheeks were turning pink from the effort of not laughing.

"She's not invisible!" James had argued. "Its just that she disappears before anyone can get a good look at her!"

"Of course, James." Peter had patronized.

"I'm serious!" He'd insisted noisily, "I hear this popping noise and there she is! Usually standing down a hall or around a corner watching me! Then when someone comes along… 'POP' and she's gone! It's like some freaky kind of magic!"

Peter had given Sirius a look then that told him not to bother arguing with him, and then they both sat there and listened to James as he spent the next hour describing her, going on about her beautiful red hair and her 'hauntingly' green eyes. After the poetic monologue Peter had informed Sirius that the doctors thought it was a strange form of schizophrenia, which started James on another tirade.

"Speaking of girlfriends," James finally said, interrupting their laughter. "How's yours doing?"

"Pretty damn well, actually." He said with a chuckle, knowing that he was referring to Remus. "I'm only down here with you wankers because he'd taken off somewhere before I'd gotten up.

Peter was shaking his head disbelievingly, as he often did when they were talking about Remus. While James had come around a little after hearing Sirius talk about his normal nights of chatting with Remus, Peter was still convinced that he was a ticking time bomb, and Sirius would be found hung up in their closet by his toes one of these days.

"So have you learned anything juicy yet?" James asked, leaning in closer to him, grinning mischievously.

Sirius opened his mouth to tell him about the secrets he'd uncovered several weeks ago, but just like every other time he'd tried to divulge the information he felt a sharp pang of guilt that made his stomach turn. He smiled pathetically and shrugged.

"Not really." He lied.

Sirius wasn't sure what was happening to him. The more information he tapped out of Remus, the less he wanted to share with his friends. He'd never felt bad for exposing someone else's dirty laundry, but for whatever reason, he felt compelled to help protect Remus' secrets.

"Jesus, Black." Peter said, sounding a little irritated. "It sure it taking you a long time to find anything out."

Peter had been beside himself with curiosity when Sirius told him that he would be sticking close to Lupin to learn his secrets. He loved gossip, and he loved it even more when he was the one with the tantalizing information that everyone else fell over themselves to hear. Sirius had promised that Peter would be the first person he told. James seemed to be a little more in tuned with what was going on and drew his lips into a tight, understanding smile and nodded once at him, as though to say that he admired his decision to not spread rumors.

"Well, if you don't have anything interesting to say about him, then I guess I'll have to." Peter said, grinning as he got their attention, reveling in the spot light.

"Oh? What have you learned? Sirius asked, as though talking to a child who just got home for kindergarten, liking the indignant huff he got in response.

"It might actually explain where he is this morning, and where he goes on those nights he's out late." Peter said petulantly, irritated that Sirius wasn't giving him any respect.

Sirius had let slip early on about his late nights. That was before the nauseating guilt started keeping him in check.

"Oh?" Sirius asked again, looking a little more interested now.

"That's right." Peter said smugly, glad to have Sirius' real attention now. "People have seen him sneaking around the back fence in broad daylight. They think that he goes into the woods on the other side."

"What for?" James asked.

"How should I know?" Peter looked shocked.

"No one's ever gone out there to see what he's up to?" Sirius lifted a brow at him, which always made peter jealous, as he never could get the hang of such a suave expression.

"Of course not! If someone went out there to see, they probably wouldn't come back!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and told Peter that he would just have to go check it out since everyone else was too busy spreading rumors to actually make sure they were accurate. Peter seemed put off by Sirius' irritation, though James told him to let it go, and that he would explain it to him when he was older, which pissed Peter off, but successfully distracted him from his irritation with Black

Getting to the back fence was more difficult that Sirius had anticipated. All the out door fields and ranges for the various clubs were fenced separately. There was a much larger field for school wide events that made up the rest of the ground, and around that an even larger fence with a slanted line of wire around the top. It was the only think that really reminded Sirius that this was not just another boarding school. Outside there were also cameras, as there were in the hallways, that were constantly swiveling back and forth.

Sirius paced around for a while, trying to figure out how to get into the main field of the grounds, and then how to get to the back fence, not even bothering to figure out how to get past that one. Exiting the back of the school he made his way along the open walk way, shaded only by a roof and chain link on the sides, toward the church. He was starting to think that he was out of luck, but then, just before entering the church something caught his eyes. The corner pole which grounded the chain link near the entrance to the church had a bit of a gap between itself and the brick of the church. On the other side Sirius could see the grass laid flat, as though it had been walked on regularly. Glancing around for a moment and not spotting any cameras, Sirius flattened his back to the wall and managed to squeeze himself through.

Grinning triumphantly, he followed the wall of the church around to the back side, where the rest of the school was out of site and was able to make a straight shot across the grass to the tall fence that separated the neatly clipped grass of the grounds from the wild tangle of brush and trees on the other side. He felt like he stuck out, nothing around for him to duck behind if he thought someone had spotted him. In the back corner he found that the chain link had come unattached from the corner pole in a few places and crouching down, he was able to slip through.

Good to know there's a way out if I ever feel like taking off… He thought as he walked toward the line of trees.

Once on the other side of the fence, Sirius was able to make out a very narrow path that led back through the trees. You had to be lined up with it perfectly to be able to see it at all, and without thinking much about consequences, he followed it. He was just beginning to think that he wasn't going to find anything out here when he heard a rustling noise that had not been caused by his own feet.

Creeping forward and quietly as he could, he felt his heart begin to race a little, finally starting to wonder if this had been a good idea. He would never be afraid of Remus, but Greyback could be out there with him. Sirius knew that Greyback would not do anything that would jeopardize his position at the school, but out here in the woods where there were no witnesses, he wasn't sure what the man might do. His fears eased a little when he heard a laugh that he didn't recognize. The fluttering in his stomach turned into the twisting of curiosity that he'd grown accustomed to, and he continued, the trail finally opening up into a small clearing, though being only about ten feet across it was heavily shaded by the surrounding trees.

Sirius thought that he had never seen a more beautiful smile in his life as the gentle one that softened Remus' features. Something leapt in his stomach as he heard the soft lilt and tumble of a chuckle that escaped Remus' curved lips as he scooped a little round puppy up into his lap. He was sitting in the leaves on the ground, reclined against the trunk of a tree, three balls of pudge and fluff tumbling around in the lap of his crossed legs, a larger dog resting her head on his knee, watching her babies gnaw on each other playfully. Sirius knew that he should say something, but he was so shocked and so moved by the sight that he was speechless. Remus was beautiful just then, looking like he was glowing, and Sirius realized that he was finally seeing the other boy for who he truly was. This was Remus without his walls or secrets, and Sirius knew right that second that he was hopelessly enchanted by him.

"Careful there…" Remus said softly to the pup, his voice light and smooth and Sirius thought he may faint. "Oh Christ!"

His shout sobered Sirius quickly as he realized that he was the cause of it. Remus had caught sight of him from the corner of his eye, and jumped so violently that it made the puppies warble and the mother lift her head from his knee.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Sirius said quietly, still in awe of the view.

"God damn, Black." He said, sounding a little breathless from the shock. "Do you have a tracker on me or something?" He seemed annoyed, though Sirius could tell that he wasn't angry, as he didn't immediately tell him to piss off, as he still did some times when in a poor mood.

The black and brown dog at his side laid her head back down on his knee when she saw that there was nothing to worry about.

"You know you'd miss me if I didn't follow you around." Sirius teased gently, staying where he was, knowing that it's best to let Remus move things at his own pace and suddenly feeling intimidated by the beauty he'd just seen, feeling like he'd broken some cosmic rule, certain that no human should be witness to something so wonderful.

"Well don't just stand there." Remus said quietly as he tilted his head to the ground next to him, inviting him to sit.

Sirius didn't need to be told twice and immediately took a seat next to Remus, their knees brushing accidentally, though both boys felt a warmth spread from where they'd touched. Remus cleared his throat and then deposited a fat puppy in Sirius' lap as a distraction.

"Help me occupy these guys."

Sirius had learned that his pushy techniques from his first weak at the school were not the most effective way to deal with Remus, and found that patience and kindness got him further most of the time, though there were still moments when a good shove was in order.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh as the puppy rolled into his lap, having a hard time wiggling himself off of his back. The puppy's mother watched her baby carefully, but didn't move her head from Lupin's knee, seeming to trust Remus' judgment.

"What is this?" Sirius asked around another chuckle as he let the puppy lick some breakfast flavor off his fingers.

"It's a puppy, Sirius." Remus said and Sirius thought he'd imagined hearing the joke slip past Remus' lips.

"I can see that." He said, grinning widely at Remus now who actually smiled back at him.

His chest started to feel like the puppy suddenly, warm and fuzzy and soft and he knew he must have looked ridiculous as his grin just kept getting wider. Remus' elusive smile made him feel giddy and hyper and content and calm all at once.

"I've been taking care of them since she showed up pregnant a while back." Remus elaborated, his hand moving to rest on her head, rubbing between her eyes gently. "Fenrir helped me build a little shelter for her to have her puppies in. He said he's going to find people to adopt them soon."

Sirius didn't much enjoy hearing about Greyback at the moment, but he let it slide since Remus was still wearing that bone melting smile.

"My mother would never let me have a dog." Sirius said with a chuckle, rolling the puppy onto its back again and patting it's warm, pink tummy.

Sirius wished he hadn't brought up family, as Remus had grown quiet in a way that Sirius recognized. He knew that the other boy was thinking on one of the many things that he kept to himself. Sirius hated to ruin that smile on his face, but the draw to learn more about the other boy was too strong. He had realized, in that moment he first saw Remus with the puppies, that he no longer wanted to learn his secrets to satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to learn them because they belonged to Remus, because they were part of who he was. And now that he'd seen his smile, he wanted to learn them so that he could somehow banish them and let Remus smile like that all the time. That's why he pressed on.

"How about you?" Sirius asked cautiously. "Did you have any pets growing up?"

Remus looked over at him a moment before looking back down at the two puppies in his lap, one of which was trying to nap while the other chewed annoyingly on his sister's ear. His nod was almost unnoticeable.

"Will you tell me about it?" He continued gently.

"Will I be able to ask you something too?" He asked after a long pause

"Sure." Sirius said immediately, his stomach beginning to knot and turn in anticipation.

Remus nodded, then was silent for a long time, as though trying to organize his thoughts before finally speaking, nearly three minutes later.

"Growing up, I had the best dog." Remus actually smiled a little. "Sometimes when I find your hair in the bathroom I think its his. He had black shaggy fur, like you."

"What was his name?" Sirius encouraged, smiling along with him and feeling his heart leap with joy as he heard Remus compare him to his beloved pet.

"Padfoot. I couldn't even remember getting him. It was like I'd always had him."

"Did you have to leave him at home when you came here?" Sirius cautioned and immediately knew that he'd tapped into something painful for Remus.

Remus' eyes came up to meet his, almost seeming shocked that he would ask such a question. Sirius could see his body start to lock up and the walls go up behind his eyes to keep people from reading him.

"Tell me?" Sirius asked quietly, a sort of mantra he'd used on numerous occasions when trying to get Remus to open up to him.

"He's dead." Remus said, turning his attention back to the mother dog as she licked at her sleeping puppy. "My parents killed him."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, anything that would relieve the stony expression that Remus had plastered back onto his face. Now that Sirius knew what he looked like when he smiled, the expressionless mask that he wore most of the time seemed so heart breaking.

Remus glanced at Sirius and saw his brain working frantically to find words to try and comfort him. He hated opening up to people, but something about Sirius impelled him to open up. He had been insulted at first when Sirius had told him that he would dig up all of his secrets, but now he find himself fighting the urge to just spill them all at his regal feet. He wanted Sirius to see every corner of who he was, and that terrified him. He considered getting up and racing back to the grounds, but instead he opened his mouth and continued talking.

"I never did find out why my parents hated me so much." He said almost casually, both puppies asleep in his lap now, his hands pinned where they were cradling them. He didn't bother looking at Sirius as he continued." It wasn't the hitting or anything that bothered me the most, though. Sometimes, when they would go out, or when they were just angry, they would lock me inside this little closet in the back room and leave me there. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was that they'd throw Padfoot in behind me. Somehow, him being there made me feel a bit safer."

"Remus… I'm sorry." Sirius whispered after a few moments of silence, not sure what to say. His mind raced back to everything he'd said to Remus since they'd met and he scrutinized his words through the lens of what Remus must have been feeling, and he felt like an ass. He wanted to go back and try to explain himself, but knew that it didn't matter at such a late point.

"You shouldn't feel sorry for me." He said, his voice edged with a hostility that made Sirius uncomfortable. "After they killed Padfoot… I found the hammer they'd used on him… and I beat them both to death in their sleep." He paused, his jaw tight, looking at a leaf a few feet in front of him, though Sirius was sure that he wasn't able to see it at all. After a chilling moment, Remus looked back down at the puppies. "I was seven. I was sent here after my relatives refused to take me."

This confession felt so different from Remus' confession about Jona. With Jona, Remus seemed distraught and incredibly ashamed. He did not seem to feel remorse for his parents. Sirius was stunned silent, everything he'd thought he'd known about Remus had been flipped over. He'd been so sure that Remus would never be able to harm anyone, but now, seeing the hate in his eyes, and the angry tremor in his shoulders, he wasn't as certain.

"I know you're disgusted with me… but my mother held me and made me watch as my father beat my dog's head in. The sounds that Padfoot made," he had to stop and take a shaking breath. "I still dream about them. I don't think there's a sound in the world more terrifying."

Sirius saw fat tears gather at the border of Remus' eyelids, though a quick flutter of lashes reined them in. Remus swallowed audibly and looked over at Sirius, the venom in his eyes sending a chill through Sirius' body and made him feel suddenly nauseous.

"I killed them both on the first swing." He said. "It broke straight through their skulls. But I didn't stop. I kept hitting them. There was nothing left when I was done."

The wavering of his voice at the end of his sentence and the threat of tears in his eyes again broke the ice that had encased Sirius, and it was replaced with something incredibly warm. Sirius's hand moved up to brush his finger tips over Remus' cheek and he heard himself whispering before he could even think on the words.

"You're not a bad person." He said with a certainty he didn't think he had any more. "What your parents did to you… they were bad people."

Sirius saw Remus' chin quiver slightly before he swallowed and blinked back his tears, not seeming to agree with Sirius, but not in a state to argue with him either.

"Do you want to ask your question now?" Sirius asked gently, his hand now combing through his hair gently, trying to sooth the shaking he could feel in the other boy's frame.

Remus nodded, but stayed silent, still trying to get his ribcage to stop vibrating and his eyes to stop stinging. He was surprised by Sirius' reaction to his story. He had expected the other boy's face to twist in abhorrence, but for every bad reaction that Remus expected, he received a gentle one instead. He had never thought that Sirius could be capable of such gentleness. Their first days together had been tense and bordering on violent, but the more time he spent with Sirius, the more he realized that he's capable of incredible acts of kindness and understanding. He wondered for a moment what he should ask him, but decided on the question at the forefront of his mind.

"Why do you want to know these things about me so badly?" He asked, his face tingling and warming where Sirius' fingers were touching.

Sirius' breath caught at the site of such vulnerability in his eyes and his heart ached a little.

"Because I care about you." He said instinctively.

"You're such liar." Remus said, in the same way that he often called Sirius a liar, though it was more tentative this time, as though asking him indirectly if he were being honest.

"I'm not lying this time." He said with a soft smile. "I really do care about you. I… I want to try and make you happy." He found himself confessing before he realized he was doing it, then felt his heart speed up.

Remus' eyes wavered and fell to the puppy sleeping in Sirius' lap, his cheeks warming and his mouth going a little dry. This was a bad idea. He knew it was. He'd already let Sirius get closer to him than he was really comfortable with, but the situation was going in a direction that he knew would only cause trouble. His head was telling him that he needed to get up and leave before things got carried away, but his body refused to move and when he felt Sirius' dark hair brush against his bangs he lifted his chin complacently and let Sirius brush their lips together. Though it was nothing more than a feather-light touch, Remus still felt his breath vacate his lungs, and he thought for a moment that he was suffocating.

Sirius felt his nose press against Remus' warm cheek as his lips swept across his, barely touching. Feeling emboldened by the lack of dissent, and by the small sound he heard in Remus' throat, he pressed in again, this time for a proper kiss. Remus' malleable lips cushioned him so perfectly that he imagined for a moment that they'd been molded to fit together. When Sirius felt Remus lay his hand gently on his knee he felt his head spin and leaned in, sliding a hand behind Remus' neck to hold him in the kiss that was quickly becoming more that the mere touching of lips.

An electricity passed between them that was surprising to both boys, though just as Remus felt the impossibly soft touch of Sirius's tongue on his lip he felt the dog on his knee lift her head and let out a grunt. Vaguely curious, Remus managed to lift his heavy lids and immediately felt his veins fill with ice. He tore himself away from Sirius , startling the dog and her puppies with the abrupt motion. All color drained from his face as his eyes locked with the dark orbs as Greyback stood at the opening to the path, watching them fiercely, venomous intent evident in his features.

Okay, I'm not wholly pleased with the last bit, but am having a hard time concentrating, as I fell and bumped my head during a break right before the kissing scene. My friend and I were reading some hysterical fan fiction and I leaned a little too far forward, causing my chair to slide out from under me, the back rest catching me on the back of my head. How I wish someone had caught it on film.

Anyway, I may re-write it in the near future. I'll put an announcement at the beginning of chapter 7 if I do.

Also, I got the link for the forum that I made wrong. If you're interested, try this one instead.

http : / forum . fanfiction

.net/forum/Slughorns_Sanitarium_for_Troubled_Boys_Discussion/98497/