Hey everyone! Welcome to chapter 12! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. I'm pretty nervous about it!

I'm going to try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but don't be too surprised if it takes me longer than normal, as it is going to be the final true chapter to the story. I am planning an epilogue after chapter 13, but chapter 13 will be the climax of the story. Because of this I want to take my time and make sure that it is perfect.

Reviews are always appreciated!

No real warnings to speak of other than violence and language.

Enjoy!

Time seemed to slow down, and for a moment Sirius thought that he was just having a new rendition of his nightmare, though the clammy feeling of thick fingers around his neck somehow told him that this was grim reality, and he felt pure fear spear through him. His panic was heightened by his feeling of helplessness as he realized that his right arm was trapped under Remus' still sleeping body. Remus hadn't moved an inch, even with the struggle going on beside him, and Sirius felt another layer of anxiety added to his cacophonous emotions as he worried if the other boy was still alive at all. Greyback's dark eyes darted toward Remus' body, as though reading Sirius' worries. The grin he turned back toward Sirius was sickening, and in his daze Sirius could almost imagine his teeth being razor points.

"That's right, Black, squirm for me. Nothing's gonna wake him up." Greyback's voice was low, like the groaning of iron bars under great pressure. "I'm afraid that poor little Remus is going to have to wait to find you dead in the morning. I wonder if his little heart can take another break like that." He sneered down at Sirius, who was still struggling desperately against his superior strength.

Sirius could feel his heart racing as he tried to keep his eyes from crossing. Somewhere amidst his panic he felt a small thrill of excitement, as he'd just received a confession from Greyback. Sirius knew there had been a night when these same events had happened, only it was Jona, and not himself, that was trapped under this monster, fighting for his life. That thrill, he imagined, was the only thing keeping him from blacking out. He had to make it through this. He had his confession, now he had to survive to take advantage of it

Finally, Sirius was able to yank his arm out from under Remus, whose body rolled toward the wall lifelessly. Before Greyback could register his new found freedom, Sirius struck his fist across the older man's face. Do to the angle, the distance, and his current state, it did not hold enough force to knock Greyback off, but Sirius did not let that deter him. As his other hand suddenly flung out to the bedside table, knocking things about in an attempt to find something, anything to fight back with , his other hand just cocked back and struck again and again.

Greyback let the boy continue to hit him. He would bruise, but it was a pain that he could endure to get the job done. Sirius had been a thorn in his side since he'd arrived, and from the start he'd known that he would be a greater challenge than Jona had been. Jona had been a very gentle, passive boy, making his murder all the easier. He could see the dangerous fire in Black's eyes even when they'd first met in the halls, and he had known that it would come to this eventually. He chastised himself for not taking preemptive measures and ridding himself of the nosey brat long ago.

The room kept fading in and out for Sirius, though every time it faded to black he somehow managed to force it back into focus a moment later.. He would not let Greyback beat him. He would not leave Remus alone with this monster. Sirius felt water splash over his scrambling hand as it knocked Remus' drinking glass over. Out of reflex Sirius' fingers wrapped around it and brought it over Greyback's head as hard as he could. He heard the glass break and felt a few of the shards dig into his fingers, but as the body above him lurched from the blow he did not let the blood that was lubricating his hand stop him from digging the shattered base into the man's shoulder blade. There was a deep howl of pain from the man, and his fingers finally withdrew.

Now able to get a lungful of air, Sirius was able to shove the startled body off. He heard, as well as felt, Greyback's lumbering frame tumble off of him and onto the floor. Sirius was trying to right himself and catch his breath at the same time, though he was still feeling dizzy. He came around just in time to get a foot up to ward off Greyback's next lunge, though a moment later Sirius was yanked off of the bed by his ankle. What followed was a messy tangle of fists and knees. Fists met jaws and guts. Bodies were pushed and thrown against furniture and walls, both struggling for the upper hand. After a few excruciating minutes of fighting, Greyback secured a grip in Sirius' tangled hair, using it to throw Sirius against Remus' desk. Sirius knocked his head on the wall, and while it was not hard, he let his body fall onto the desk top as though it had knocked him nearly unconscious, hoping to fool Greyback enough to gain a few seconds to catch his breath. As he milked his recovery he palmed a pen, hoping that his now cocky opponent hadn't noticed.

Sirius heard Greyback chuckle, deep and dangerous in his chest, not needing to speak to know that he would move in for the kill. As the man lunged at him again Sirius managed to turn, getting his make-shift weapon between them and felt the push as it met resistance against the man's stomach. It had happened so quickly that Greyback was unable to stop his momentum, and with his full weight coming down on the point, the skin quickly gave and Sirius felt it force it's way in. Greyback froze a second, his eyes bulging before he stumbled back away from him.

Sirius's now bloody hand was shaking as he looked at the red stain that had formed around the pen base where it protruded from Greyback's belly. He couldn't get himself to move as he watched the older man pull the slimy pen from his would, and was too shocked to stop him as he stumbled to the door and disappeared.

Sirius had been in fights before, but never had he felt his life threatened in the way it had just been. The room was silent save for his heavy breathing. He could still feel his neck throbbing, but the adrenaline kept him from feeling the other bruises that were rising on his body from the struggle.

He glanced back toward the bed and saw that Remus was still laying against the wall. Immediately he launched himself from the desk where he was still leaning and moved to Remus' side, pulling him onto his back.

"Remus?" He croaked out, his throat throbbing as he tried to speak properly. "Remus, wake up!" He shook the boy as hard as he could, but received no response.

He felt his mind racing. Greyback must have drugged Remus earlier that evening. This was supposed to be one of his fits, he was sure of it. Had things gone the way Greyback wanted, Remus would have woken up in the morning thinking he'd killed Sirius the way he thought he'd killed Jona, and Greyback would have been able to keep him emotionally enslaved. Sirius knew they couldn't stay there. He had managed to fend Greyback off, but he knew that the wound was mostly superficial, and would probably not stop him for long.

Dressing quickly, Sirius slung his bag with the last of the things they needed onto his shoulder before wrapping Remus up in the blanket they had been sleeping under. Once he had him bundled up, he lifted the other boy into his arms, adrenaline still pumping through his veins, and left the room.

It didn't take James more than a few seconds to realize that the banging at his bedroom door that woke him up was Sirius. He was out of bed, letting him in before Peter had even begun to register anything happening at all.

"He just tried to kill me!" Sirius said in a panic as he hurried into the room, taking Remus directly to James' now empty bed and laying him down.

"What?" James sounded shocked, but seemed to believe him immediately. "What happened to Remus?"

"He's been drugged. I think he's okay, though, just out cold." Sirius said quickly, still trying to catch his breath and calm his shaking.

Peter was sitting up in his bed now, his eyes wide, wrapped up in his blanket. He was staring at the blood that was still on Sirius' hands and smeared on the blanket that he'd wrapped Remus up in. He wondered suddenly if Remus' murderous habits had rubbed off on him. James noticed Sirius' state as well and took him by his arm firmly, guiding him to the bathroom.

"He's fine. He can sleep right there. Let's get you cleaned up." He said as he brought his shaking friend into their bathroom.

He immediately put Sirius' hand under the faucet to clean the blood away, revealing bits of glass protruding from a few of the deeper cuts. Just as he was opening his mouth to ask Sirius what, exactly, had happened, there was a loud thump that made them both start. Turning they saw that it was only Peter who had entered the bathroom at a panicked run, his blanket wrapped around him, covering the top of his head like a hood. He looked embarrassed for a second.

"I didn't want to be left alone with him." He said weakly as an explanation, feeling more embarrassed as the other boys huffed at him, James rolling his eyes and Sirius looking insulted.

"So what did happen, exactly?" James asked, ignoring Peter now.

"We were in bed. I was trying to sleep.' Sirius swallowed, his mouth and throat feeling suddenly dry. "I thought we were having a bed check, but I guess it was Greyback sneaking in. Next thing I know he was trying to choke me to death!" Sirius said angrily. "I knocked him over the head with a glass and stabbed him in the gut with a pen."

"You stabbed a teacher?" Peter gaped at them.

"Well it sounds like you did what you needed to. I'm sure you can woo Remus with your story of bravery when he's up." James said jokingly, trying to calm his friend and help him ignore Peter's sputtering.

"It wasn't that bad of an injury though." Sirius was shaking his head. "We don't have any time to wait, we have to get this thing started tonight."

"We've only put together two of the bombs, though." Peter said. "What are we supposed to do with just two? "Then we'll make the rest of them right now!" Sirius snapped at him.

"That could take all night." Peter whined.

"Well it'd take less time if you'd stop complaining and start working." James said irritably as he covered the deepest wound on Sirius' hand with a bandage. "You'll be fine, mate." He said to Sirius, who didn't seem to want any coddling.

Sirius pushed past Peter and went back into the bedroom, going immediately to check on Remus. Finding him still sleeping soundly he grabbed his own bag and dumped the contents onto the floor. James grabbed the other two bags while Peter begrudgingly opened the window, hating the smell of the gasoline. Without much conversation they all set to work. Sirius continued to glance in Remus' direction every few minutes, wanting to make sure he was still breathing, terrified that Greyback had accidentally overdosed him, though rationally he figured he had gotten the dosage perfect over the years.

It was a tense atmosphere as the boys worked silently for several hours, all of them jumping every time they heard the slightest bump. Sirius, particularly seemed on edge. His mind kept returning to Greyback, wondering where he was at that moment. He would surely want to do something about Sirius before morning, as he wouldn't want him going to any of the teachers. From what Remus had told him, he figured that Greyback was devising some plan to frame Sirius, absolving himself of any guilt. And according to Remus, he was damn good at it.

As the sky outside the window began to grey, and the silhouette of the landscape became outlined in silver, they all heard the blankets on the bed shift. Sirius immediately stopped what he was doing and moved to the bed as Remus started stirring. They were finishing up the last batch of explosives, and were just trying to decide what to do with Remus while they set to work.

"Remus?" Sirius spoke quietly, brushing hair out of Remus' face. "Come on, Rem, you've gotta get up now." He said a little more urgently,

Remus groaned a little as he was forced to wake up. After a bit of resistance he finally cracked his eyes open, seeming offended by the bright lights. The other boys in the room let out a collective sigh, not realizing that they were all holding their breath in suspense. Sirius felt a wave of relief wash over him, glad that, other than being a bit slow, Remus seemed fine.

"Why're the lights on?" Remus asked with a small slur, trying to roll away from Sirius, and from the light, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Thank god." James murmured, mostly to himself, shocked by just how relieved he is.

Hearing James' voice seemed to bring Remus around very quickly, though, and he sat bolt upright, ignoring the way the room spun around him as he turned wide eyes toward the other boys. It was obvious to the others that his world was spinning, though, as his body swayed where he sat. As the blanket that had been draped protectively around him fell from his shoulders at his sudden movement, Sirius tried to catch it, knowing that Remus was too groggy still to realize that he was mostly bare beneath it, and he had a hunch that Remus would not want the others to see his scars. Unfortunately he was not quite fast enough and he could hear both James' and Peter's sudden intake of air as they caught sight of some of the gnarled flesh. The hissing breath seemed to make Remus suddenly aware of the situation as well, and as Sirius pulled the fabric quickly back up around his shoulders he pulled it tightly around himself.

"What are you two doing here?" Remus snarled at them, his anger trying to hide his embarrassment, even as the red crept into his cheeks.

"Holy shit." Peter muttered to himself.

The blonde boy had never expected to see anything like those scars, and felt slightly ill. He felt a strange mixture of sympathy for, and fear of, Remus now, but he was still compiling a list of the people he would tell first. While he was compiling the list of his audience James elbowed him hard in the rib. James knew that Peter was not sensitive enough to notice the flicker of humiliation that was just beneath Remus' anger.

"Remus." Sirius tried to get his attention off of the other two, gently guiding his face back to look at him. "It's fine. We're in there room. I brought you here to keep you safe."

"Safe from what? My own privacy?" He growled into Sirius' face

Sirius' still frayed nerves made Remus' attitude hard to deal with. He knew that Remus used his anger to hide his fear and vulnerability, but after having someone try to kill you, it was hard to keep your patience. He stood up, taking Remus' arm in his hand.

"Come on. We should talk in private." Sirius said sternly.

"Let go of me!" Remus snapped, yanking his arm out of Sirius' grip. "You're not my mother! You cant tell me where to go!"

Sirius found himself barely able to keep his temper under control. Normally that would be a mildly insulting comment, but knowing Remus' history with his mother and father, and the emphasis he put on it, he felt more deeply wounded than he had ever expected. Now furious, he took hold of Remus again and yanked him to his feet, ignoring the shouts of protest. It was obvious that Remus was weak on his feet, but Sirius did not stop as he drug him toward the bathroom.

As the door shut and the Remus' continued shouting was muffled James and Peter turned to each other, both looking a bit terrified. A second later they both darted toward the door, their ears pressed against it.

Sirius lightly slung him toward the sink counter and Remus had to let go of the blanket he'd carried with him with one hand to steady himself on the counter top. He just glared back at Sirius as the other boy paced back and forth in front of him, looking like a caged animal. He was obviously trying to cool his temper before speaking. Finally he moved toward Remus, rooting a hand on either side of the slighter body so he couldn't escape.

"What the hell is this?" He asked quietly, though it was clear that he was still angry.

"I don't like being here." Remus said simply, staring right back into Sirius' eyes, refusing to show his fear, though he could barely hide the slight tremor in his shoulders.

"Think you could have asked why we were here before acting like a twat?" Sirius said through his teeth. When Remus didn't answer he continued. "And you really think I'm acting like your mother? Am I acting like a mother or like your mother? Because I'm thinking that makes a huge difference."

Sirius finally saw Remus' eyes soften as they turned to an expression more closely resembling confusion.

"After everything I've done, is that really how you see me? As someone who wants to control you?" Sirius practically growling now.

"No, Sirius, I didn't mean to say you were like my -" Remus tried to explain but Sirius just spoke over him.

"Do you think I brought you here to humiliate you or to piss you off? Did you even stop to think that I brought you here because I'm trying to protect you?"

Hanging his head, Sirius took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to cool himself down, as Remus' eyes were starting to look suspiciously wet. It hadn't been his intention to upset him, and he was quite sure that he'd made his point. After a few seconds he sighed and brought a hand up to wipe under one of the other boy's eyes with his thumb, feeling guilty that his eyelashes were so damp.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, feeling guilty for his outburst.

Remus shook his head, as though to say that he shouldn't be, but didn't seem like he wanted to speak as he fluttered his eyelashes to dispel the tears that had been growing there. Bringing his slightly shaking hands up he hooked them both around the back of Sirius' neck and pulled him down until their foreheads were touching, staring at Sirius' nose, feeling too guilty to look him in the eye.

"I didn't mean to say you were like my mother, Sirius. I'm sorry." He finally said quietly, once his voice was steady enough to trust.

"I'm sorry I got so angry. It's been a bit hectic since you fell asleep." He smiled ironically at his oversimplification of the situation.

"What happened? I remember going to bed with you. How did we get here? Did I," He paused, licking his lips nervously. "Did I have a fit?" His words were no louder than a breath.

"No, Remus, you didn't have a fit." Sirius said quietly, their foreheads still touching, Remus' finger tips rubbing back and forth on his neck. "I don't think you ever have."

Sirius' final words made Remus' fingers grow still and after a moment he leaned back away from him, putting his hands on the counter again. He didn't like this conversation. He knew that Sirius wanted to prove to him that he was wholly innocent, but he found it impossible to believe. He could still remember the sound of bones crushing, the feel of blood and brain matter against his hands, the gurgling noise as blood leaked down into his parents' sinus cavity as those delicate bones broke apart. He was not innocent, and he knew that he was all too capable of the things he'd done during his fits.

"Sirius, I don't want to talk about this again." He said weakly.

"I have proof this time, Rem." Sirius said, taking his chin and forcing him to look at him.

Feeling annoyed by his forcefulness, Remus struggled slightly, until he saw Sirius pull the collar of his shirt down, drawing attention to the still darkening bruises around his neck, the lines of fingers clear. Remus felt himself go cold, and could tell by Sirius' reaction that his face had drained of color. He was horrified, suddenly. He'd tried to do to Sirius what he'd done to Jona. He felt cursed, doomed to destroy anyone he cared for, which is why he was destined to be with Greyback.

"What have I done?" Remus breathed, his eyes filling with tears again.

"What? Remus, no, you didn't do this!" Sirius said quickly, having not expected this reaction.

"God, it's just like Jona." Remus murmured to himself, his eyes going out of focus.

'No! Remus, look at me." Sirius said, taking the other boy's chin in his hand and forcing him to look at him. "You didn't do this to me. Greyback did."

"Fenrir," Remus began quietly. "He keeps me from doing these things to people. He keeps everyone safe."

Sirius felt a jolt of fear. He'd never seen Remus like this. It was like he was drifting off somewhere else, somewhere that Sirius couldn't get to. It was a place where reality was twisted into something else, where all of Greyback's lies were undisputed truth.

"He told me that I would end up hurting you if I got close. I knew I should have listened to him." Remus continued vaguely.

"No! Remus, snap out of it! You came back to our room last night, remember? You were tired, so we went to bed. We kissed, remember?" He said desperately, bringing his lips to Remus', though he felt another nauseous wave of panic as Remus' lips were unresponsive, as though he were sleeping with his eyes wide open. "While you were asleep, Greyback came into our room. He attacked me. He attacked me just like he attacked Jona."

"Stop it!" Remus suddenly shouted at him. "Fenrir wouldn't do that! He tried to protect Jona from me! He warned me that I was putting him in danger, but I wouldn't listen! Just like he warned me about you!"

"He's a monster, Remus! Look at what he does to you!" Sirius shouted back, feeling angry and helpless that he's lost the ground he stood on.

"I deserve this!" Remus said, tears defying gravity on his lower lashes.

"No one deserves this!" Sirius said, yanking the blanket down off his scarred shoulders. "He does this because he's sick! Because he gets off on it!"

"You're wrong! He does it because he loves me!"

"Damn it, Remus! I love you!" Sirius suddenly shouted into his face. .

Both boys were still now, and silent. Remus' eyes had grown large, his mouth hanging open slightly as the tears on his lashes finally trailed down his cheeks. Sirius was trying to catch his breath, all of his anger draining from him as the tears dripped from Remus' frozen face. After a moment he dropped his forehead to his again.

"I love you, Rem." He repeated, his voice soft this time. "Please believe me."

Bringing his hands up to cup his cheeks, Sirius kissed him softly on the lips again, and he could feel them tremble slightly, though after a moment they returned the caress. Sirius kissed his lips several times before pulling away enough to speak again, his forehead still touching his and his hands moving up to comb through the light brown curls.

"You have to believe me." He said quietly. "You were out cold when he came in. He'd given you medicine right before you came back, didn't he? He drugged you, Remus. That's how he makes you think you have fits. He drugged you and came in to kill me. He wanted you to wake up, thinking you'd done it."

"But…" Remus tried to respond a few long moments later. "But Jona, I know I-"

"You didn't." Sirius insisted gently. "He did the same thing that night.

Remus began shaking his head slightly, obviously finding it hard to let go of the guilt surrounding his lover's death.

"I want to show you something." Sirius said before he could get too wrapped up in his self loathing.

Remus resisted slightly as Sirius pulled his thin hands up to wrap around his neck, His fingers trembled against his skin, and he felt sick.

"Look at the bruises. They're too big for your hands, aren't they? There's no way you could have done this to me." Sirius said sternly.

Remus stared at his pale hands wrapped around Sirius' neck, and saw that Sirius was right; There was an entire finger line left once his hands were around it. The hands that had done this were much broader than his own. Remus felt a sob of relief shake his body and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug, whispering comforting words into his ear until his body stopped trembling. They stayed like that for a long time.

It was jarring; the feeling of his mind readjusting. He held onto Serious tightly, afraid that he'd float away as the guilt that had weighed him down for so long began to lift. He felt a sudden freedom that terrified him, as though he were lost in the middle of a field, finally free to go any direction he wanted.

After a long moment of silence they both were startled by a soft knocking at the bathroom door, followed by James' voice.

"Sorry to interrupt, you two, but it's almost morning. We need to get this thing going." James said quietly through the door.

There was a moment of silence as they both stared at the door, their stomachs squirming nervously for different reasons and for the same reason. They both knew that this was it. Everything was going to end tonight, whether it went according to their plan or not, and they would have to adjust to whatever new life they found themselves in.

"Do you trust me?" Sirius said quietly to Remus, who was still watching the door.

"Yeah." He smiled, turning back to the boy he loved.