The Sight

Disclaimer- Does not belong to me but Joss Whedon and whoever else has the rights.

Synopsis- Xander has trouble coping with the revelation about Buffy and Giles. Cordelia puts him in his place.

Xander sat there pouting even though the thing Cordelia was doing with lips on his neck and her hands on his thigh would usually elicit squeals of joy from a red blooded anything.

However, he could not get the slayer and watcher off his mind. The thought of the of the elder Englishman caressing, kissing, making sweet, sweet, no his jealousy allowed no such gentility . . . fucking her made his heart crack and bubble like an egg dropped carelessly in boiling water.

Cordelia knew how hard her beau had crushed on Buffy in the past. Natch, her ego just knew her feminine wiles would be enough to sway any man let alone a horny high schoolboy. Or so she hoped anyway.

She moved her mouth up to his ear when she the sadsack expression on his face struck her as odd to say the least.

"What?" Cordelia huffed.

"Where does Giles get off?" Xander grimaced.

"Probably on top on her. Down her throat. Being the slayer, she is used to warm, sticky fluids splashing on her face so she is probably into that as well," Cordelia said hoping to hurt his feelings like he had hers.

"I am serious. Maybe it is a spell or maybe it is not even them. The real Buffy and Giles are unconscious in a cave somewhere."

"What is so unbelievable about two attractive people who spend all their time together hooking up? That is what happened to us," Cordelia's emotional pendulum was going from sympathetic to jealous with each passing moment.

"You do not understand. The two of them together is like when Tyson bit off Holyfield's ear or when Joanie loved Chachi, it makes no sense. Out of all the men in the world, she chooses-"

"Not you? That is what you are really driving at here, isn't, Alexander? Damn the fact you have a perfectly beautiful woman right in front of you who by the way was gearing up to maybe blow you like I am sure Buffy has probably done to Giles at some point.

Just so we are clear, oral is totally off the table now in case you want to feign confusion. Instead of focusing on me, you are thinking of her. I knew earlier when you made fun of her harder than any one of us that you were hurt. I know enough about you to know that is how you deflect.

How could she pick the kind, older, handsome man who from I can understand literally exists to serve her over some grunt under the impression he is her friend because she is too much of a glory hound, attention whore or too nice of a person depending on your point of view to tell you to go the hell away."

Xander stammered, "B-b-buffy is not like that. Sh-"

"Let's compare, shall we? He always smells good and is very put together. Which is more than can be said about you on any given day. He does that pouty pucker thing with his lips when he's thinking. The whole being British automatically makes him sexy. He can read.

Exactly, what do you have to offer a freak like her? You barely have anything to offer an extraordinary girl like moi."

"If I am so gross and a loser, why are you with me?"

"You're a good guy, Xan. A nice guy. In case you have not noticed, she does not like nice guys. You will never stand a chance with her."

Xander pouted and said, "Giles is not a bad guy. Just old."

"He is not that old. Once when he got knocked out cold, I went into his wallet and checked his id. He was born in 1954. So, he is forty-four. It is not young like us but he isn't AARP material yet. From what I gathered Slayers do not live very long. So, in slayers years she is basically thirty-five like in dog years. The poor thing is doing the best she can. You need to get over it. And besides, good guys do not make deals with demons when they are teenagers nor do they bang seventeen year olds when they are not. And you saw how he beat the breaks off that Ethan guy. I think they used to be gay together. Not being a homo makes you a bad person but still."

Xander laughed a little at her comment as did she.

"He did have a certain Ripper why did you leave me baby, you know I love you Unbreak My Heart vibe," Xander grinned hunching her with his elbow.

"You can tell Giles used to be a total babe when he was our age, a little older. He turns heads now but in a hey, your dad is kinda hot and I feel like a slutbag for noticing sort of way."

"You think he and Buffy are serious?" He asked choking on the question like it was morning phlegm.

"Are we?" She asked.

He turned and looked at her with sympathy. She sounded so vulnerable.

"Of course, Cordy." He caressed her cheek.

"Then why are you so concerned about what's going on in Barbara Gordon's panties when you have Selina Kyle sitting right in front of you."

Turned on and shocked by her Batman reference, he kissed her hard before saying, "I knew you were nerd."

"Eww. Bite your tongue," she giggled.

"How bout you do it for me? Better yet. How about, I do to you what you pondered about doing to me?"

Cordelia blushed then smiled.

"Why, Xander. Who knew you were a cunning linguist?"

"We are about to find out," they kissed as Cordelia turned out the light.