Willow's green anime eyes looked like they wanted to pop out of her skull in surprised disgust. Buffy scrambled to recover.
"I mean he drives me home and I go to bed in my bedroom and he goes to bed in his, I guess. Oh, damnit," Buffy knew she had been found out.
So she acquiesced, "I was not imagining things when I saw Cordelia's ass the other night was I?"
Willow shook her head no.
"Oh, god. I, she, who else has he she told? He could get deported. I will not be eighteen until January. This is October. This is all my fault. I know better than p.d.a. How did you find out?"
"Cordelia. She only told us."
"Says she. Can you really be sure of that? She has a big mouth and no problem running it. That girl has verbal diarrhea. Nothing but streams of shit comes out," Buffy was really getting panicky and nauseous.
"She will not tell because she likes Xander. She did call the two of you Lolita and Humbert."
Overcome, she slid the van door open and puked for a lengthy period of time. Willow looked over her shoulder and saw remnants of peas and what looked like potatoes and lots of paste that she could tell used to be saltines.
After she was done, Willow gave her a box of tissues to wipe her mouth off with and her half drank Sprite to rinse. She wrote off the incidence as nerves even though it did not explain why she had puked the day before at the shoe store.
Buffy has a little stomach flu. There is no way Mister Cautious is scuba diving without a suit or at least that is what she had hoped to herself.
A moment, Buffy acted as nothing had happened then said, "That makes it sound so cheap. Humbert Humbert was a pathetic pedophile and Lolita was sex crazed, manipulative bitch who loved no one. He and I are not like that. I mean yeah, we have you know knocked boots but it is not pervy per se. I mean come on. Lolita was twelve. Who else knows?"
"Other than Faith and Amy, no one."
"Who told them?" Buffy demanded stomping and putting a dent in the van's floor.
"They both figured it out on their own."
"How? It is not as if we walk down the corridor with our tongues shoved down the other's throat. We act normal. Like always. I thought," she looked like she wanted to cry.
Feigning sympathy poorly, Willow said, "Do not worry."
"Do not worry? I have a bad enough rep as is as the ax-crazy girl who runs around stabbing things who burned down her old school's gym. Last thing I need to be known as is the girl banging the librarian."
Willow shuddered and said, "But you are the girl banging the librarian."
"Why are you being this way? I mean it is not like it happens all the time. It is not like we planned it. The first time anyway. You see, we knew you guys would react horribly."
Willow thought, Oh, the two of you are a we now? How quaint.
"No, this is a normal person's reaction."
"Since when are we normal people?"
"I don't know since always? No one else knows. Cordelia said she told you as much."
"In the rudest way possible. Giles is right. That girl had no tact. Well?" Buffy asked.
Willow did not even attempt to hide her disapproval when she shook her head in questioning manner.
"What do you want to know first?"
"How long has it been happening?"
"You want the truth?"
"No, I want you to lie to me by omission for weeks, possibly months and you are not having rebound sex with the one consistent adult man in your life; pretend nothing is going on with you while you simultaneously ignoring me and shirk all best friend duties because damnit it is all about you," finally she admitted her real anger. She cut out of her life. She felt unimportant.
"It is not rebound sex. It is something else altogether. What I do not know and neither does he. I am beginning to suspect he only says that for my benefit. Besides, we have decided to keep things professional. I thought we were anyway. Though, I do admit today was a bit touch and go. During lunch it was all he could do to bore Faith out the library because things were just getting perky before she just barged in there. I initiate it usually except for the times that I don't."
Willow winced.
"You two were practically naked compared to how many clothes you had on earlier. For f sakes, you threw off his glasses. What reason on earth would you have to snatch his glasses off his face other than they were in the way? It is like you two want to get caught or something. At school? Anybody could have walked in. What if it had been Snyder?"
"We are not careless. We usually wait until night or when we are at his place. Today was extenuating circumstances. We had a fight you see. That Saturday night, Sunday morning. We made up," she hunched a little embarrassed at the admission.
"I do not understand. Make me understand," Willow said emphatically with flailing arms.
"I just confessed. I don't know what else you want."
"The whole truth," Willow insisted not sure what she meant herself.
To purely annoy her at this point Buffy said teasingly, "You mean details. Like he is packing a ten inch English cucumber? Those type of deets?"
She wanted Willow's cheeks to be red as her hair.
"I was going to say if it was only intrinsic to the reason why. Really, he's that . . . Boogie Nights?" Willow made that impressed face again. Feeling a bit pervy about imagining them together.
"But, you still have not told me how this happened. You or Giles never do things just to do them."
She gave Willow a smirk that said sometimes we do. The same one Giles gave her earlier.
Willow thought, Oh, goodness. They are picking up each other mannerisms.
"I am just upset Cordelia knew you two were a couple before me. I mean, Cordelia. Ech," she whined.
"I get it but I have to correct you. We are not a couple."
Willow frowned at her incredulously. She then pursed her lips and asked a thoughtful question.
"How often do you two make it a point to spend time together since you have been back?"
"He is my watcher. The spending time together is kind of a prerequisite but nearly every day. Not this Sunday though," she said scowled. She was still sore about it.
"That is why you were such a sad sack, crybaby yesterday. You missed your boyfriend," it began as a tease before Willow hit herself upside the head softly at the realization.
"Nun-uh. The argument bothered him more than me. He is not my boyfriend. Besides, they did not have my size. I really wanted those shoes," her voice cracked. She was not about to admit how badly she had missed him.
"You cried over Keds. No one cries when they cannot get a pair of Keds," she scoffed.
She simpered, "I do."
Willow turned beet red before asking, "What about the you know?" She knocked two her two fists together.
Buffy rejoindered, "What about you and Eddie Munster? You two mated for life yet?"
"No. We have not made it that far yet. Mostly hands over underwear. Him topless. I undress down to my bra. We almost did once but my dad came home early. I haven't got up the nerve since."
"So, second, rounding third?" Willow nodded.
"I knew beneath that bookish exterior was a sexy little minx," Buffy laughed.
"See, I shared. I know just because you have seen his . . . vegetable does not necessarily mean you have experienced it yet. He seems like the type who likes to take his time. How far have you two gotten? Home run yet?"
"Try the World Series," she replied smug with superiority. It was the only way she could combat her friend's blazing judgement.
Willow replied the opposite of she had expected her to.
"Eww. It's good, isn't? I bet with all those books of his, Kama Sutra is bound to be one of them," Willow hunched. She seemed to be softening a bit to the idea.
"He's more of a Joy of Sex, Nine and a Half Weeks type of guy. Minus the mind games, avoiding my friends, the crossdressing, prostitutes, hideous music. And bondage. Except that one time by accident," she chuckled.
"You forget about the nervous breakdown part. You totally had one earlier."
The light got the sadness in her green grape eyes and she lamented, "My friends were whispering about me behind my back and I could sense it."
Guilty, Willow changed the subject back, "So, basically, you two do it every other time you're alone. Which is often. So, I assume the s-e-x is good then?"
Buffy scoffed, "I would be an idiot to keep doing him if he sucked. Which he does really well."
Willow grimaced even though a part of her wanted to have an open mind about it.
Buffy groaned, "That is not like that is all we do, Will. We still patrol and train too. Which admittedly as of late has a tendency to go from TV-G to TV-MA but you know, still," she blushed and put her hair behind her ear.
"Like when was the last time?"
"What time is it?" Buffy asked.
"Three thirty on the dot."
"Dut, dut, carry the one, about an hour and a half ago on his desk.
That's how my work really got deleted. He steadied himself on the keyboard without realizing. Heat of the moment and all. That other we told you was improvising. We usually do not do it at the school but today was extenuating circumstances. We were making up. We kind of had a fight."
"I thought it sounded suspicious. I should have known. Hell, deep down I had naggings but I figured I was projecting and seeing loving everywhere because I have it now. All the signs were there. You brush off your friends, talk about him way more than you used to, you practically live in the library and go to his place way more often than you used to. Hell, he smiles now and actually has a sense of humor. You still don't though," Willow laughed and poked at her.
"I smile politely and nod when you guys attempt humor like just now," she stuck her tongue out.
Willow moved on, "How often do you spend the night?"
"I was over there four times last week. Made it back home before my mom woke except a couple weeks ago. We overslept and my mom called looking for me. He told her I was there in his bed. I liked to have died. Then he told he told he was on the couch and he said we were hunting some vamps and one got away and he feared it might follow me home and put her in danger so he thought it would be best if I stayed at his place and that I was supposed to call and tell her so. Then I could hear my mom chirping about how irresponsible I could be. I could have hit him in the face. He made my mom scold me as if she and I do not have enough issues."
"Did she believe him? It was a pretty thin lie even for him."
"Who knows? The other day, she asked me in so many words had Giles ever hit on me or try anything that night and why did he monopolize so much of my time? I said oh, yeah, mom and Giles and I get it on everyday like Clinton and Lewinsky. Wanna see my blue dress? Call Kenneth Starr?"
"Buffy!"
"My mom had the same reaction except she asked me very pointedly, was he taking advantage of me. That if he was, it was not my fault because he was older and my teacher and how he should be ashamed and how she would have all these bad things happen to him."
"What did you say?" Willow asked with a slack jawed expression.
"Then I told her she was crazy and gross and she was just mad she could not hurt Angel or dad for that matter so she was going to take it out on him."
"Harsh," Willow sighed.
"Yeah, it was. She cried and left. I felt like such shit afterwards. I called him crying and told what I said. He scoffed and said is that all? I told my parents worse than that before breakfast when I was fourteen. He told me what to say and it all blew over mostly. I did not even get grounded."
Willow thought, So good sex makes her listen.
"Sounds like he gave you some good advice," Willow said aloud.
"Apparently, he had to kiss a lot of ass after that whole I hate the world so I sold my soul thing. Who knew that sort of thing was looked down upon?" She half laughed.
"I know, right? So, um, back to what I was saying? Do you do things for each other like remember how he likes his tea-"
"Sugar and cream with a little Earl Grey mixed in. Did you know family is the world's fourth largest producer of bergamot?"
Willow made an impressed face that read 'Really? So, he is well off? Makes sense explains a lot. Like he is afford all those weapons and one of a kind tomes."
"The way he dresses. He always looks clean, you know?"
"Do you think he is handsome?"
"I am not blind. Don't you?"
"Well, yes. But, you know."
"He has a nicer body than you would imagine."
"I am not shocked. He is the one who shows you how to fight."
"True. What else do you want to know?"
She continued, "He remembers your favorite sandwich order?"
"Eggplant with lots of lemon basil aioli. Or lobster po'boy. Which food truck he passes first. But, mostly, he cooks. He is good at it."
Willow scoffed and said, "You know the evidence is piling up against you, right?"
"You wish."
"Ever told him something you would never tell anyone else and vice versa?"
Buffy hunched, "Maybe."
"So, you two are a couple. That is like the definition. You two in . . . love?" Both young women shuddered after she said it.
"I am going to tell you like I told him Saturday when he broached a similar topic," Buffy began. "We are two people put in an unusually close situation who happen to like being physically intimate and have one thing truly in common. Me," she said unaware she was cradling his jacket close to her body like a child does a favorite teddy bear. This gesture betrayed her bravado. After all, she knew that comment among others was the reason why he avoided her that Sunday. She had hurt his feelings though he acted as if nothing had happened on Monday.
"Oh, I get it. You turned into a dude over the summer," she decided to let her friend have her pride for now.
"As if. I just don't want to pretty things up with titles. If you slap a name or designation to something then you either have to live up to it or get heartbroken by it. But, there is one title I would not mind having," Buffy laid his jacket across her lap and went into her backpack and pulled out her English literature book.
She rifled through its pages in search of the poem, The Flea by John Donne. She had hidden a photograph there. When she found it and traced over it with her finger.
"I think it looks like an upside tornado to me in the middle of a whirlpool or white noise. What do you think?" As Buffy was about to hand her the photo, Oz returned. Buffy quickly put it back away.
"Sorry. I think the barista had to teleport to Java and pick the beans and roasted them himself on the way back," Oz said dryly.
"Was his name Clark by chance? See, I am funny," Buffy was bothered by Willow's accusation of being humorless.
"Nah. His name was Barry, though. Could be the Flash."
They all laughed.
Willow's curiosity was now heightened to Spiderman levels of tingling.
She had to know what the hell caused the seismic shift between her compadres.
Oz dropped Buffy off by her house. Willow walked her to the door.
"You still have not told me why or when. I got to know everything. I mean everything. Who pursued it?"
"Both of us and neither. It is weird," Buffy said.
"How long has it been going on?"
"Well, um, a year and a half ago. I kinda, sort of kissed him and he did not push me neither. Another time, well, we, his hand found its way in my panties. We were training and things got sweaty. That did not suck at all. But, he was apologetic about it the next day. Took all the fun out of it. That was about a year that thing with the statue of Cetera-"
"Sidero," Willow corrected.
"Nothing happened again until this summer."
"As in when he told us he couldn't find you? This summer?" Willow was pissed now. The idea of being lied to and needlessly worried for so long felt like another betrayal. She did not know either of them anymore.
"Yes. But, it was my fault he done that. He did not want to. So, be mad at me," she said touching her arm.
"I am. Believe that. I got to go. I will, uh, talk to you later unless you are too worn out from all that patrolling later. From the sound of it, the two of you have been patrolling vigorously."
Willow began to walk away. Buffy ran in front of her.
"The average slayer dies at twenty. The one before me died when she was nineteen. The oldest living one ever was only twenty-four. She had a son and Spike killed her."
Willow stopped in her tracks and turned around.
She felt compassion.
Only Buffy could make her go from bitchy to mama bear in the blink of an eye.
"I am sorry to hear that. But, what does that have to with you and Don't Stand So to Me?"
Buffy frowned then laughed.
"I am going call him that later just watch his face go all red. It's adorable," she put her hand over her mouth she did not mean to say adorable.
Willow just shook her head.
"Well?"
Buffy went into her literature book and pulled out the envelope again.
"Do this for me. Read the Flea by John Donne then look at it. After that, come meet here tomorrow and we'll skip school-"
"I have never skipped school. I did not even miss school to go to my meemaw's funeral. I loved my meemaw, Buffy."
"I really need you. And I really do need to tell someone what's going on with me right now. I don't want to do it alone. I just thought you did not care anymore. So, I tried to cope on my own and that is another reason why I have clung to him so close. He is the only who really gets me."
"I want to get you. I used to. Plus, I have read the Flea. It is open to all types of interpretation. They all have to do with the consequences of sex. What are you saying?"
"Just come by in the morning. If it were the other way around, I would do it for you in a heartbeat," Buffy said.
"Okay. What if I want to talk before then? Wouldn't make more sense for me to hang out with you tonight?" Willow was still determined to get her away from him if only for a couple hours.
"Do you want me to get back into the van with you and Oz?"
"Not really. But if you did I would not resent you. "
"Most times I do not care but I kind of have to tell him something and I need to do it alone. But, you will know everything tomorrow."
"Why wait is all I am saying. I will blow off Oz if you blow off Giles. Fair is Fair," Willow was serious.
Buffy made a squinty face and huffed.
"You remember when you told me I was the sister you never had?"
"Yes. I mean it still."
"You do anything for family, right? I am no meemaw but will you please miss school tomorrow?" She asked batting her eyes.
Over the summer, she had got being manipulative down to an art form.
It was never to hurt anyone but only to get what she wanted for a change.
"Okay. You win this time, Gadget. I will see in the morning. Bright and truant," she said still paining to say truant.
"Tomorrow will be ours we will make a whole day of it. Shit, I will pay for everything. Just give me tonight."
Willow rolled her eyes then nodded.
Buffy reiterated, "Come tomorrow." Then she paused. "Oh and Willow," she said before opening her front door.
She nodded yes.
Buffy said, "When you look in that envelope I want you to know after the year I have had, I just want something no one can take from me."
"No one can take me from you. Not even you," she said.
They both melted and met each half way and hugged.
They waved bye and Willow returned to the van.
"Did she admit it?" Oz asked.
"Yeah."
"So, when will we be godparents?" Oz asked.
Willow looked at him sideways and asked, "Huh?"