Disclaimer: I do not own Emmerdale or anything to do with Emmerdale, it all belongs to ITV.

Hope you enjoy! Here's the first chapter

This is a Ross/Debbie fic, there won't be much action between them at first so you'll have to stay tuned and see how it pans out…

Same Me…

Chapter One

Ross's arms were shaking and so was he remaining leg as he tried to take his first awkward steps. It had been a few weeks since his operation. His recovery taking longer due to his initial injuries and the traces of infection. After he was deemed fit enough, Ross had spent most of his time in the gym, rebuilding his muscle tone. Although he was still extremely skinny, he found he'd had little to no appetite lately and so re gaining weight was difficult.

Ross had now begun a walking trial. Learning to walk all over again. It made Ross feel pathetic and childlike. He knew how to walk. Screw them!

Ross hated to admit it however, but walking was harder then it looked.

He'd been strapped into this thing called a PPAM Aid (pam aid). It was an inflatable leg that was supposed to reduce the swelling in the stump and help him to walk again. Ross felt like a prick.

"That's it Ross… Small baby steps!" Finn coaxed from the other head of the parallel bars. Ross was seriously regretting asking him to come.

"Stop talking like I'm a baby! I know how pissing walk!" Ross hissed back.

"Err language…!" Finn chastised, clocking the disapproving look the fit male nurse helping another patient shot them.

"Shut it Finley!" Ross smirked, also clocking the nurse.

"Ross!" Finn grumbled as he saw the male nurse smirk before escorting the patient out of the gym.

"What? Did I steal your eye candy?" Ross grinned.

"Shut up!" Finn grumbled, but secretly he was smiling. This was the most he'd gotten out of Ross in days.

But unbeknown to Finn, Ross was slowly dying inside. It wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Walking was so difficult it seemed he'd never get his independence back. He would be a cripple in a wheel chair for the rest of his life.

Pete had been dozing on the sofa when Finn had returned. The images from the farm house playing over and over in his mind. They haunted his every waking moment and every sleeping moment too. He was glad Finn was here to distract him.

"Hey mate how's he doing?" Pete questioned as his brother sat down next to him.

"As well as can be expected! He was learning to walk today" Finn grinned at his big brother. "You know, I think he's finally come to terms with it!"

"Really? Well the fact he's walking is massive progress! Did he say if I could visit? Or mum or dad?" Pete asked eagerly. He really did want to try and help his brother through this. They could help each other.

"Oh no. He didn't mention you or mum and dad… and he's learning to walk again. He's finding it quite difficult. His balance is all off but I think he was good!" Finn beamed.

It occurred to Pete that maybe Ross was playing the same game that he was and putting on a front and pretending everything was all okay to Finn. But then again Ross had always been close to Finn so why wouldn't he open up to him?

"Do you think he'll ever want to see me?" Pete asked quietly.

"Well he'll have too! He'll be home in a few weeks. The builders getting on okay?" The house was being modified to accommodate Ross's needs and make things easier for him to move around. It was already difficult with Ross's bedroom being on the top floor so a chair lift was being installed. The landlord had been shocked when the Barton Boys had got together the money to buy the property off him, but being short of cash and wanting to palm off some houses anyway he accepted.

Ross had been completely mortified when he'd heard what was happening with the house. He didn't want people treating him any differently or his life changing in any significant way, he just couldn't grasp that things would never be how they were.

The hardest part of all this was keeping it all a secret from everyone. Ross only wanted close family knowing. So really only Pete, Finn, James and Emma knew what had really happened. Pete didn't know what Ross planned on doing when he got home, probably hide his prosthetic under his trousers hoping no one noticed. They had already had to pass the building work off as renovations. Surely they couldn't keep this pretence up for much longer, but if it helped Ross recover then it was worth it.

Debbie had been round a lot asking why she wasn't allowed to visit the hospital anymore. Ross had told the nurses not to let her in either. It hurt Pete to know that she still had feelings for Ross and him her but he had come to terms with it. Ross didn't want her knowing what had really happened to him, so it was unlikely their relationship would ever develop.

Would Ross ever let anyone in again? Let them find out what had happened to him?

"Well then I'm going to see him next time you go. He needs to snap out of this!"

and Pete needed reassuring that if his brother could make it through whatever he was going through. So would he.

Ross was already in the training room when Pete and Finn arrived. Making his slow steady steps towards the end. He had been practicing all morning and was starting to get the hang of it.

"Looking good mate!" Pete said cautiously.

Ross looked up sharply. "What you bought him here for?" Ross asked Finn.

"Err he wanted to come!" Finn stuttered.

Ross gave Pete a long look before sighing. "Okay. Whatever." And carrying on practising, his face creased with concentration.

"Why don't you get us a coffee" Pete turned to Finn. "Let us talk for a bit."

Finn nodded and left, leaving Pete and Ross alone in the training room.

"So… long time no see! Seeing as I saved your life and all!" Pete joked half-heartedly. But Ross didn't laugh or even smile.

"Just wanted time to get my head together, you know?" Ross panted, the effort was really exhausting him.

"Why don't you take a break mate?" Pete asked gently.

"No!" Ross snapped back. "I can handle this!"

"Are you sure?"

"Pete…. It's just walking!" Ross snapped.

"Whatever you say!" Pete answered and Ross scowled in irritation. "Debbie keeps asking about you."

"Don't you dare tell her!" Ross looked up sharply, eyes wide.

"You can't keep it a secret forever mate" Pete said reasonably.

"I can try!" Ross retorted.

"Are you coping with this Ross?" Pete asked quietly. Ross remained silent and looked down.

Pete put a comforting hand on Ross's shoulder.

"Ross, are you okay?" Pete asked. Ross looked up slowly.

"I'll get there… I always do" Ross managed to give Pete a half-hearted smile. "And how about you Peter?" Ross took in the dark circles that rimmed Pete's eyes.

Pete didn't know what to say. Everyone had been so concerned with Ross that no one had really asked how he was.

"I'll get their too" Pete returned Ross's smile.

Both brother's burying their pain, each unable to admit to it.

It was only a matter of time before it all bubbled to the surface.

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