March 2nd
Steviekins!
Dear, Darling, Stephanie.
Princess.
Let me profess my love for you in this letter, because, just like in the fairytales, this will make you swoon and I'll catch you. Remember that time I did actually catch you? Well, I do. And I remember how surprised you looked. And how you hung on to me, like you never wanted to let go. Well, I never wanted you to let go.
Do you remember the time we went 'scuba diving' in the lake at camp? You had those adorable swimming goggles and we went looking for fish. It's a shame we didn't find any. But you looked beautiful. I thought you looked like a mermaid. That was the first time I realized how much I loved your laugh. It's very musical, did you know that Steviekins?
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what writing love notes entails. I hope so far I've done well- If I haven't then I'm going to continue anyway.
You know what I love about you? You're so willing to try anything. Remember that time we went on a late night walk? Or more like you dragged me on a late night walk? And you told me to pretend to be a cat because then we wouldn't get caught. It seemed silly at the time, but now it actually makes sense. I remember you producing cat ears from your closet before you left, why did you have cat ears Stephie? I've always wondered that.
This letter seems of adequate length (that sounded pretty formal, ehh?) so I'm gonna finish it now.
Your very happy and enamored (I think that means I really like you- or at least, that's how I meant it.) boyfriend,
Zander
March 3rd
Zanderina Ballerina.
Next time we go on a late night walk I'll provide you with bunny rabbit ears.
Let's be honest, sometimes you remind me of a rabbit. You're all cute, and your nose twitches when you think really hard. And rabbits either tend to run away or sit really still when they're scared and then when they get comfortable they're like mini dogs. They roll over and let you pat their stomach and be all cute…
Rabbits are cool!
I don't know what to put in a love note either. But I like writing them.
HEY! What do you think would happen if Kacey or Kevin or Nelson found one of these? Hehe… I'd like to see the looks on their faces! Do you think they'd be surprised?
But, I like the way things are now… even though it's only been a few weeks. I like sneaking around and no one having any idea. And I like knowing that none of your fangirls have a chance with you because
YOU'RE MINE.
J xxxx
Your Favorite person EVER!
Stevie
March 5th
Dear My Favorite person EVER!
Rabbits don't roll over… not like dogs anyway…. Didn't you have a rabbit once?
… What did you do to it? Did it roll over? Strange rabbit… Also, if I'm like your rabbit, it must have been very good looking. ;)
When we tell everyone else I'm sure they'll be surprised, but it doesn't matter, because when they do find out I'm going to kiss you senseless.
You know Steves, I've kissed quite a few girls in my time, and you are by far the best kisser. You are also the prettiest. And the cutest (don't hurt me over that).
When my fan girls find out, I'm going to kiss you in front of them to.
I am yours, and you are mine.
Yours,
Zander
April 14th
. Stevie
I feel it's appropriate to put a fullstop before your name because before you there was nothing but stopping and now it's just… HAPPIENESS!
So, right now I'm sitting behind you in English. (I love your hair. I want to touch it. It's so pretty.) (I also love your jacket. It suits you.) (OH! And I love you : ) )
I usually like English but studying the Indian prayers or whatever it is were supposed to be doing is really boring. So, I drew you a picture and I'm attaching it to this letter.
ZANDER!
April 14th
Zander,
Are we on a dinosaur? It's a very impressive drawing, but, what are we doing on a dinosaur?
Ok, so I know this sounds stupid and probably childish, but, my favorite type of dinosaur is a Velociraptor. And I've always wanted to dress up like one for Halloween. But no one's ever wanted to help me make the costume. (I saw this cardboard Velociraptor costume on Tumblr and its SO COOL! I want to be that. It has giant googly eyes.) Wanna help me this year?
Also, we are studying Native American tribal songs. It has nothing to do with India.
Xxx Stevie
April 14th
Stevie baby, I would be delighted to help you with your veloco velocio velocia- dinosaur costume. Zander
May 15th
ZANDER!
Hello adult! Haha you're 18!
Happy Birthday Z!
I drew you a picture of I tyrannosaurus rex eating cake.
Xxx the birthday Princes Princess
May 25th
LOVE LETTER 100!
Stevie.
I love you.
Love,
Zander.
May 26th
Zander,
I must confess I was a little disappointed that you didn't use letter number 100 to do something special. Never mind because this is
LOVE LETTER 101!
And I'M going to do something I rarely do. Stroke your ego.
You absolutely have every right to look in a mirror because, darling, you are perfect. I love your face. I love your hair, I love your eyes and the little crinkles they get in the corners when you laugh.
I love your laugh. I love the way every time you laugh it sounds like a song.
I love the way you talk, like the wonderful things you say can bring about world peace. (They probably could. YOU probably could.)
And so, you have every right to be vain, because I'm vain about you being my boyfriend.
There are so many sappy things in my head right now.
I BLAME YOU. You and your perfection have done this to me. Your smiles, and your peace and your kindness.
I never thought I'd like being sappy, but I don't mind so much with you.
I'm going to save the rest of the sappy things I have to say for another time.
Lots of very, very sappy love,
Stevie
June 5th
Today is doughnut day. We're going out for doughnuts. –Z
June 6th
Z,
Since yesterday was doughnut day, can today be ice cream day?
x S
June 18th
Steves, if you want to get a hall pass and skip all this talk about self harm and stuff… I'll come keep you company.
June 18th
I don't. I'm fine. Besides all you want to do is makeout.
/-/-/-
June 18th
Baby, isn't that what you want to?
June 18th
No, idiot, it isn't.
This is PD- PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.
Not getahallpasssoyoucanmakeout class.
I plan to learn.
Also, don't call me baby.
June 24th
Date tonight? ;)
-Z
June 24th
Write me a proper love letter and I'll consider it.
June 24th
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Love,
Zander
June 24th
Shakespeare wrote that. And you copied it straight of the handout.
June 24th
Shakespear might have come up with it originally, but I meant every word of it as I copied it on to the paper for you.
Love you baby ;)
-Z
June 24th
Do you even understand what you just said to me?
Also, don't call me baby.
Also, you spelt Shakespeare wrong.
June 24th
It means, I think you're beautiful.
June 24th
Kacey's reading every word you've writen over my shoulder.
June 24th
KACEY! I LOVE STEVIE! AND I THINK SHES BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND WONDERFUL!
-Z
June 24th
…. I love you to.
June 26th
Guess what! LOVE LETTER 300!
Haha! we win!
Screw the haters!
Xxx Stevie
July 4th
Happy 4th of July Baby!
You're amazing!
July 4th
How many times have I told you not to call me baby?
July 21st
Stevie,
I know you're mad at me, but no matter what I will still write love notes to you.
This isn't about the fight, I can't write down my apology in a letter, I wouldn't know what to put.
So, I'm going to tell you all the reasons I love you. So that way, you'll always know.
I love you because you make me think, you challenge me. You're not like any girl I've ever met, you have no interest in following me creepily or flirting with me incessantly.
I love you because you still have more of an interest in music than in me. And I admire that.
I love that I don't need to look in a mirror anymore, because you interest me more than a mirror ever could.
I love that you're so protective of your friends, and I love that you always look after us
I love the way you laugh, and the way you smile.
I love that you don't care what people think.
But most of all, I love spending time with you, I love it when you tease me and when you take off your high heels as soon as we walk out the door and carry them around all night. I love every second of our dates.
Stevie, I don't ever think it will be possible for me to ever stop loving you.
Love,
Zander.
August 1st
Happy 1st day of summer baby!
Ready for the best summer ever?
Of course you are. Cause it'll be with me!
Love,
Zander
August 2nd
You are so conceited.
However, yesterday was the best first day of summer ever.
And I can't wait for today.
Kacey has such a nice pool… she helped me shop for this bikini. ;)
Xxx don't let the others see this!
Stevie.
August 24th
Dear Steviekins,
Mom wants me to tell you that our family is going away from the 1-9 of September for a family birthday thing.
I think that's stupid and I told her I didn't want to go cause you wouldn't be there. And she told me not to be silly. And that I was going and 'that was final!'
It's going to be horrible the entire time!
I'm going to die!
Also, mom said that any time your family isn't home to come over ours for dinner. And that if that's every night then that's ok. And tonight we're having nachos.
(Please come! We have like... 6 days till I go away and I want to spend every minute with you.)
Love,
Zander
August 24th
Z!
I would be delighted to accept your dinner invitation. And all those for the next 6 days. Cause Mom and Dad went away and my brothers aren't home.
Stupid Family.
You are lucky you have a cool little sister.
Remind me to tell her tonight that I would love to help her get ready for the party she's going to :)
Xxx
Stevie
September 2nd
Is your family done separating us yet? I am actually dying here. It's hot and I have nothing to do!
I miss you! Please come back soon!
Xxx Stevie
September 3rd
Stevie,
This family thing is stupid. Being in NYC isn't, but my families REALLY annoying.
Mom says I should have invited you.
I said that I tried and she said no.
She looked guilty and then told me to use this time as bonding time with Melody.
All the other guys brought their girlfriends.
They're all blond, with splotchy highlights and a cake face of orange makeup.
You could beat them in hotness if you wore a paper bag.
Do you remember that time my Aunt Clara came to stay with us?
Well, anyway, she's here and she said she's so glad I'm dating you because (I'm quoting her now) you are such a nice girl, you are very pretty and SO polite. Then she said if only all the other guys were dating someone as nice as you.
Basically, you're the best girlfriend ever. As agreed by Aunt Clara.
Missing you dreadfully,
Zander
September 4th
Dear Z,
You're the best boyfriend ever to!
My parents came back and my brothers are here to. Its Finns 25th birthday today. Yay.
We had a cake.
That was probably the only good thing that happened.
Now, as I sit and write you this, all four of them are discussing the latest sports scores.
I don't even think they know I'm here.
But, I've had so much free time I wrote a song! I'm enclosing it with this letter :) tell me what you think.
Love always,
Stevie
September 5th
Dear Stevie,
I love the song! I defiantly think it's one of your best- and tones better than anything I've written. I wrote a few note suggestions for harmonies- I hope that's ok, and I'm putting them with the song and this letter.
I played the 'song with no name' that we wrote together for my family yesterday. They all think it's amazing. And they said you must be very talented to write something like that- which you are.
I've been slowly sizing myself up to the other guys, their girlfriends are all pretty dumb, so whenever they do something stupid I say 'my girlfriend could have done that'- but, you know, not in a bragging way or anything.
So, now everyone knows that you're the best!
Only four more days to go!
Love,
Zander
September 8th
Gee Steves,
I would have never guessed you'd missed me from the 37 letters you sent me ;)
I miss you to. Being apart is torture. '
I'll be home tomorrow though!
Zander
September 22nd
Stevie-bevie!
I know your right next to me and all, but you're asleep and I want to write you a letter.
You look very peaceful, what are you dreaming about?
Ok, so I was thinking, when we have a house, and a music room (obviously, we need places to keep all our instruments) you should paint a mural on the walls.
Actually, you should paint a mural on every wall in every room in the house.
Can you paint the outside all pretty to?
And, when we have a house can it have pretty flowers? In the garden, i mean.
Also, we have to have lots of spots for hanging all the awards we win.
And we need a cabinet for all the trophies (cause you know we'll win lots of Emmys and Oscars.)
We should also have a big sign that says 'STEVIE AND ZANDER'S HOUSE!'
Wait, no. We'll be famous by that point. We don't need anyone knowing where we live.
And, then we can invite the others over for dinner and you can dress up in a pretty dress :)
Hey! Tomorrow, why don't we go out and you can wear a pretty dress then to? Or you can wear jeans if you like, just as long as you come :)
Xoxoxox (x1000)
Your one and only true love,
Zander
September 23rd
Steves,
I just wanna say you looked Ravishing tonight.
Love,
Z
September 30th
Zander,
Thanks for the best summer ever!
I love you,
Stevie
October 1st
ZANDER
Halloween month! IM SO EXCITED!
EPPPP!
-S
October 7th
Hey Steves,
I'm really sorry but can we postpone tonight?
I'll make it up to you! I promise.
Yours forever,
Zander
October 7th
Sure. I guess. But z- I... Never mind. See you tomorrow.
October 8th
Kacey said she saw you with Alinta.
October 8th
She asked me to help her with her music assignment! I wasn't doing anything else Steves.
October 8th
YOU CANCELLED OUR DATE TO HELP OUT ONE OF YOUR LITTLE FAN GIRLS?
October 8th
No! I had to pick my sister up from her friend's house. My mom asked me because she had to work late. Alinta asked me to help her in the half an hour I had left in the afternoon!
October 8th
Oh, sure that's what happened.
October 9th
Steviekins!
Hey, hey! Wanna come out this afternoon?
Xoxo
Love, Zander
October 9th
Don't think I've forgiven you. I just don't want Kev and Nelly to know. They take our fights very hard and i don't want to hurt them. Kacey's mad at you to btw.
October 9th
I know, she's been glaring at me all day. Must you two share everything?
October 10th
Oh, so now I can't talk to my best friend?
October 9th
No, Stevie, that's not what I said! I just wish you wouldn't share EVERYTHING with Kacey.
October 9th
You are showing the first signs of an abusive boyfriend.
October 9th
I've never even come close to hurting you!
God Stevie! I love you! I'd never hurt you!
October 9th
Stop sending notes. You're distracting me.
October 28th
Zander,
I'm writing you this letter in the middle of algebra. I know I should be doing work, but I can't concentrate.
I'm scared Zander, really scared. I don't know what off exactly, maybe I'm scared of myself. Sorry this is so messy, my hands are shaking.
Everything seems really dark lately, like I'm looking in to a swirling void of nothingness- sorry, that sounds weird. But everything just looks dark. It's like I'm slowly losing color, everything that's been in my life up until now has seemed normal, it never really bothered me like it does now. But something slipped Zander, in my brain I guess, something that is sucking every bit of beauty out of my world. I'm so scared that I'll do something stupid, I'm so scared I'll get to comfortable with the darkness.
I know that I've been a total bitch lately, and I wish I could explain why. But I can't. Because I honestly don't know. There's all of this stuff floating around in my head and I can't catch hold of any of it. I can't grasp the reasons, but I know they're there.
And I'm terrified, of everything that's happening. I'm terrified of myself, I'm terrified of what you'll think of me, and I'm terrified of what might happen. I can't stop feeling so out of it, and I don't get why.
I'm sorry if this is all too much for you to take in, and I'm so sorry I've been such a bitch. But I hope that you'll forgive me someday. I'm going to put this note in your locker now, so I won't see your face when you read it. Because I can't see your face when you read this.
I will always love you,
Stevie
October 29th
Hey Stevie-bevie!
How did talking to your Mom go? Is everything ok?
Love,
Zander
October 29th
Z,
Mum is fine with everything. Or, at least, that's what I understood. She isn't disowning me at least. She looked at the cuts and said 'don't you ever do that again!' and then kissed my forehead so I guess its ok.
She also said you have ridiculously good taste in rings!
And she told me to tell you that she's thrilled I'm dating you. And that she knew all along.
Mom told me that she didn't know how to talk to me about everything, and she didn't think I wanted to share anything with her. But now I've told her everything so we're going to be more communicative.
Thanks for yesterday afternoon J
Love,
Stevie
October 29th
Princess,
I'm so glad your Moms ok!
My mom asked if you want to bring your parents over for dinner next week?
Also, did you tell her about …
-Z
October 29th
Yes.
She told me that if we plan on continuing I have to tell her so she can get me 'the pill'.
November 2nd
Princess Stephanie,
Oh one whom I love.
Angle of light!
My darling!
I wanted to tell you that you're beautiful.
Love,
Z
November 2nd
You wrote me an entire love note to tell me I'm beautiful?
Awwww! That's so sweet!
You! Are extremely handsome.
Your adoring girlfriend,
Stevie
November 28th
Zander,
As today is thanksgiving, I feel it is appropriate to write you this today.
Thank you Z for sticking by me. And not giving up. I really appreciate that.
Thank you for accepting me the way I am and helping me to make myself better.
Thank you for being what I want to live for. Thank you for being my present and my future.
Thank you for believing in me. Believing that I could help myself.
Thank you for not judging me on my family or all the messed up things they do.
Thank you for being the light that led me home.
I love you more than anything, I couldn't live without you and I can't imagine anything better than my life now. You've been so supportive and I can never thankyou enough for that. You make life worth living.
Thank you for being you.
Love
Stevie
So, this is it. The very last chapter of Broken Shards. I've put off writing the ending to this for so long because I didn't want to actually 'end' Stevie's story. She still has a lot to learn and so does Zander. But, these notes could go on forever and they wont actually ever finish. Just like this story.
To say I'm going to miss writing this is an understatement, but, I've learnt a lot and its time to move on.
I hope this is a satisfactory ending for all of you.
To the person who helped me finish this (you know who you are) thanks. I love you to bits.
HTRobsessed, thanks for waiting patiently :) here's your ending :)
I have a few one shots I've almost finished that I'll post soon, and then i think that might be the end of my HTR career. So, stay tuned for the last bits!
I'd love to hear your comments on this last chapter!
Thanks to everyone who's read this
Encantria xxx