This chapter is more like part two of the last one. enjoy!
My dear Master Hand,
You've got to be freakin' crazy to send me this thing. This "Super Smash Brothers" is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention that the name just sounds so lame that it makes me want to puke.
You expect me to join with a group of stupid heroes, probably including my worst enemy, and you want me to enjoy it? I know there are villains there too, but there are only three people I like in the universe: me, myself and I. (Although Saurman just might be the only exception. Don't laugh just because I watched Lord of the Rings. If you do, I swear… I will kill you. I mean it. I will find you. I already have found you. I know where you live… How else do you think this letter got to you? I will kill you in your sleep if you laugh. Mark my words.)
Also… Master Hand. Master. Hand. Really? What kind of a name is that? You expect me to join some idiot group just because some guy named Master Hand told me to? There really is something wrong with you. And if there's something wrong with you, then there's something wrong with the group. Yeah, no.
And a mansion? Really? I live alone in my own beautiful mansion. I don't need to move to an ugly one. Let alone share it. Nothing you say is going to get me to live in a stinky garbage dump like that. Not even offering me chips and cookies would work. (That would be a first.)
Look. You suck. Your group sucks. Your mansion sucks. Your heros all suck. Your villains suck. Your mother sucks. Your items suck. Your assist trophies suck. Your normal trophies suck. Your Smash Balls suck. And I want nothing to do with things that suck.
I will make you rue the day you sent me that letter.
Vaati
I don't mean any offence to mothers around the world. I hope you liked it!
you know, I'm probably going to just open this thing up to everyone, so all fans can give me new ideas on which letter goes to who etc. etc. R&R plz!