This was co-written with the love of my life, Marissa, AKA shigure-san. We were given the prompt to write out the five times Hatori and Shigure fell in love with each other; I wrote for Hatori, while she wrote for Shigure. This is a drabble in which Hatori and Shigure both write a letter to each other, detailing five different times they fell in love, spanning their nearly three-decade long companionship.
The first time I fell in love with you, we were still just children. You had the energy of a thousand puppies, and the stamina to boot. We were playing outside and you kept trying to tackle me, you always did enjoy a bit of playful wrestling. I remember that I kept telling you that I wasn't in the mood to play, but you wouldn't listen. After a few minutes, you decided to sneak-attack me. You tackled me in the grass and I went tumbling to the ground. I had scraped my knee. You kept trying to play, but I started crying when I saw that I ripped my trousers and my scuffed knee was beginning to bleed.
The second I started crying, you stopped. I can remember the exact facial expression you held, Shigure- you were sorry, perhaps for the very first time in your life. I believe that may have been the first time you ever had to see the consequences of your actions. You hugged me, helped me up, and held my hand as you lead me back to your house. You had me sit still while you put a band-aid messily on my wound, and you even kissed it. I remember falling in love with that side of you, the one so carefully hidden under the quips and roughhousing. You made jokes about becoming the doctor of the family instead of me until you finally got me to smile. I don't know if you'll ever realize how much that simple little moment meant to me.
The second time I fell in love, we were preteens. It was a Tuesday night and you begged and begged and begged your mother to let you spend the night with me, even despite it being a school night. For whatever reason, our parents agreed. During dinner, my father had grown quite tense, and he eventually lashed out at me at the table. You were quiet, while I was terribly ashamed and embarrassed. Later that evening, you stayed up the entire night with me, holding my hand and helping me study for a biology test I was anxious for.
You never said why, but I knew it wasn't because you thought I truly needed help with my studying- you stayed up to be with me, and to make sure I was alright after my little tiff with my father. You knew I was upset, but wouldn't talk about it- so you talked about anything and everything else you could with me. Even if it was about school- and I knew you were completely and utterly bored out of your mind.
The third time I fell in love with you, we were teenagers, and I lost my virginity to you. You had always been more experienced than me, but you waited patiently until I was ready. You've never been the patient type, but you've always been so accommodating for me and my needs. You waited for me to be ready, and then afterwards, you allowed me to use your body to explore. You had been so attentive that entire night, and you were never rough with me. You waited. You allowed me to explore at my own pace, and you made sure that I felt loved. It was then that I realized I wanted to be with you. The third time is always the charm.
The fourth time I fell in love with you, was the day your first manuscript was published. You worked so hard in the industry to finally quit writing textbooks and follow your true passion- fiction novels. I was never the biggest fan of your chosen genre, but the day your first book was released, my chest was swollen with pride. You made it; and you had done it all on your own. As Sohmas, we are given everything- but you worked for what you have.
I remember carefully cracking open the spine, and on the dedication page, in tiny italicized letters, it read: For the one I love. For once, I was speechless. I didn't need to ask, the smile on your face told me all I needed to know. You dedicated your first book to me. I was shocked.
The fifth time I fell in love with you, you saved me. Even despite our hot-and-cold emotions for one another, you set me free to find happiness. I found who I assumed was the love of my life, and I wanted to marry her. You gave me your blessing. You even demanded to come to the estate with me to ask for permission to marry her. At the time, I was frustrated with you- I thought you were trying to be passive-aggressive, I know you were never too fond of Kana. It wasn't until later that I realized why you were there. When Akito blinded me, she was like a wild animal- just clawing at me with intention to wound.
…And there you were, as you've always been, my guardian. You pried her off me, and it wasn't Kana who drove me to the emergency room, it wasn't Kana who sat by my bed each day in, and day out. It was you. Each time I stirred from my drug-induced haze, you were always there, Shigure. You held my hand. I don't think you ever let go. Even after I left, even after I was weak, even after I wandered, you always stayed. You've always been loyal to me, and you've always saved me. You have always been there when I needed you most.
You are my lifeline, Shigure.
…I've fallen in love with you every single day that we've been together. I've fallen in love with you a thousand times, to list five is only scratching the surface.
The First Time
I remember the first time I fell in love with you, when we were little and your parent let you spend the night with me at my house. It had been raining a lot and they had my mother pick you up from school with me. We were huddled in the back of the car afraid a river would careen down the street and sweep us away and the moment we got home we ran inside fast as we could while trying to pull my mother behind us. We took all the pillows and cushions from the downstairs couch and used them to make a "rain fort" in my room covered with blankets and our rain coats to keep water out. We make my mom slide our dinners into the fort and we sat under there all night through the rain and thunder, looking through picture books, playing games, and making shadows on the blankets with flashlights. We managed to get to sleep huddled up only wake up the next day with barely a cloud in the sky and all the puddled a young boy could ask for. We kept that fort standing for three days and before we took it down we saluted our camp and held a silence during the whole deconstruction. After that we were never scared of the rain again.
The Second Time
I remember the second time I fell in love with you, we were in the gardens at the main house at New Years. We were in middle school at the time, when your father walked you to the banquet room where the rest of us were I could see that something had happened. I never asked but he parted with no words and you were very quiet the whole evening. I took you outside to clear your head, I wanted you to usher in the year with a smile on your face. We sat on the porch and talked about nothing, I saw you wanting to smile a good few times but you didn't. You went silent for a bit, at the moment I ran out of things to say, but you were just waiting for me to pause. That had been our first real kiss; you found solace in me, you clung to me and let me hold you and let you know that I loved you. If any one did, if it wasn't Akito, Ayame, if it wasn't your Father, it was and always would be me. I'd always be there, after every argument you and he had, after every poisoned word he'd spit at you– you could always come to me. You never needed to tell me what happened, or why you were sad because my goal was to make sure it never changed you, and to make you smile afterwards.
The Third Time
I remember the third time I fell in love with you, you came and told me that she was the one, that you had found someone you loved and wanted to marry. I was sad yes, but no where near enough to hide the smile on my face. My Hatori had grown up. He had found a happiness on his own and he was ready to take the responsibility, to take what he wanted, what he deserved. My Hatori was leaving me. And I was okay because you were happy. I thought the kiss you gave me that day was the last, if felt like a goodbye, it felt sad but opening a new chapter is always sad for the old chapter. I was so ready to watch you build something extraordinary, I gave you my blessing though a part of me didn't want to let you go.
The Fourth Time
I remember the fourth time I fell in love with you, was the day you opened your eyes. Your new eyes. You had been in and out of consciousness for a few days but finally you gripped my hand then turned and looked at me. You looked so tired I wish you could have seen yourself. I wonder if you even know how long I had been holding your hand, so many nurses had come in telling me to leave but I stayed, either in your room or in the waiting room. The damage I did to my back sleeping in those chairs will haunt me forever but to be there the moment you opened your eyes, to have the the first thing you saw when you woke up be me and not some stranger. I sat over you and watch you take in the world through your new eyes, and all I could do was just hold you and welcome you back. I drove you home and stayed with you during the weeks of your recovery. Every day I got to watch you rediscover and explore with your new eyes, you'd stumble and trip, occasionally you'd refuse to leave your room but eventually you did. I got to watch you learn to walk again. And I'm sorry, I really am I am so sorry but I haven't and I will never be able to forgive her.
The Fifth Time
I remember the fifth time I fell in love with you, Saturdays had always been the days we'd go out together. I was a bit nervous to tell you the truth because the days leading up to that had been odd between us. You were quiet, and as you drove us to the restaurant we talked idly, awkwardly even, it was a short conversation and then silence the rest of the way. When you parked, but didn't open your door I thought, I didn't want to think but I did, I thought you were leaving me. I thought I had done something, the final straw that you just couldn't take. I sat quietly and waited, but rather than sever your ties with me, and taking me to dinner to hopefully smooth it over you offered me something so precious, something so powerful, and beautiful, that you were willing to risk everything you had ever worked for– risking your status, how you'd be looked at, how the rest of your life played out. You offered me your soul, your body, your every hope and emotion. You offered me a ring. And the greatest promise humanity ever managed conceive. And there was nothing I could say but yes.
Hatori you put your future in my hands and gave me the ability to decide where it went. You've always had the strength to give me tough love, and have always loved me through even at my worst. This is just a taste of the truth that is my love for you, because not a day goes by when I wake up beside you and fall in love with you all over again.
Day after day, year after year, every single moment, I fall in love with you all over again.