"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

A shrill, ear-melting scream rippled across the land, causing trees to quiver, window panes to rattle, and for Sokka and Toph in a nearby town to flinch.

"They're still not done?" Sokka complained, ripping another chunk of bread and stuffing it into his mouth, disgruntled. Toph shook her head, deep in concentration as her hand caressed the earth, feeling the violence of Cari's earth bending.

"There are still a couple of hours left in her yet," She assured him glumly and sat up from her kneeling position, "Who do you think screamed?"

"That was definitely a Katara scream." Sokka confirmed, "I've never heard one as crazy as that though, except when maybe I cut off her loops once. Took months for them to grow back. It looked like she had another pair of eyebrows for a while."

Toph considered this for a while, and grinned.

"What do you think Katara did to upset Cari so much anyway?" Sokka wondered.

Toph shrugged.

"It takes a lot for Cari to get this mad," She said thoughtfully, "Usually she's oblivious to annoyance, unless she's irritating someone else." She sighed, "We might be stuck here for a while, Snoozles. I don't like the idea of getting within a mile's radius of the battlegrounds."

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? It seems to ME that Toph was pre-tty hasty to settle down in a delightful village, with slight earthquake damages with her good friend Sokka. Tufty didn't seem to mind either, in fact; his stomach positively gurgled with enthusiasm. I am speaking the truth people: a little thing called fondness was starting to blossom between them, not quite love, but not quite disgust at the same time. It's a beautiful thing…

Sorry to drag you away from the action, folks. As I was saying, Cari rose herself even higher into the air with the help of the earth, and summoned the masses of earth rumbling down to destroy her nemesis. Nemes-Katara, I mean, stood absolutely motionless, after the scream that had ripped from her lungs and across the grounds. She watched in absolute horror as half the mountain raged towards her.

Wait! She thought quickly, there's water in mud!

Well done, Katara…! It took her that long.

With an elaborate swoop of her arms, a kick of the foot, the raising of an eyebrow and a few body cells shifting place, she threw all of her force and energy against the mud careering towards her. It slowed down considerably, and then came to a stop, wobbling and swinging as both contestants tried valiantly to overpower the other.

Aang watched in horror and awe as they screamed and perspirated. He was also slightly aroused.

Movingonfromagrosssubject we have Katara the mighty menstruater, battling against Katara whilst trying to keep her hair under control at the same time, and we have Cari, the maniac with huge boulders on her side, her muscles swelling as she gritted her teeth and pushed on.

A sudden idea struck Cari.

"Hey Katara, I heard Aang insulting your mothering skills earlier."

"Huh?" Katara gasped, distraught and mortified. She dropped her arms and Cari took this opportunity to pursue her dreams and cause the sea of mud to wash over her.

It only took a matter of seconds for her to be swept off of her feet, carried down the rest of the hill they had set up camp on and then be miraculously stopped…by a tree.

Crunch.

Aang winced, Appa snorted, Cari beamed.

Slowly Katara peeled herself from the huge trunk and her face emerged, red, covered in mud and with a series of splinters sticking out at odd angles.

Cari started to cackle, which moved on to crippling over amidst the laughs, which progressed to tears pouring down her cheeks. Nothing made Cari laugh like the humiliation of others- especially when caused by her.

"MUWAHAHAHA-"

"AAAAAH!" Cari's screams of evil laughter were unjustly interrupted by another one of Katara's shrieks. Covered head to toe in muck, she launched herself at the wench, ripping water from the very air, her eyes alight with malice.

Cari raised her eyebrows indignantly at the interruption; Aang cringed and hid his face in Appa's fur. Appa stroked Momo lovingly, still oblivious.

However, despite Cari's nonchalance at Godzilla lurching towards her, she was being the teensiest bit big headed. The infamous water whip was coming her way-

Flick.

Wha-TSH!!!

"…OWOWOWOWOWOWOW" Cari chanted, hopping from foot to foot, grimacing in agony as she clutched her face. Katara didn't smile- she was nowhere finished yet.

Cari was furious, even worse than before-off the scale, her eyes clouded, and her lips curled into a snarl.

Wuh. Oh.

"BITCH-WHORE-HARLOT-PROZZIE-OBSESSIVE-MANIUPLATIVE-BITCH-WHORE-STROPPY-STROPPY-STROPPY-DEVILSPAWNED-BITCHMONKEY!" She hollered her cussing rather impressive. I'd give it an eight.

With a pound of her feet, a twiddle of her fingers and a slight twitch of her cheeks the earth sprang to earth yet again. She kicked a boulder out of the ground, which was sculpted to look like Katara's face, and head-butted straight through it, showering the remains all over the place.

Meanwhile, Katara drew the moisture from every near-by tree and shot a whizzing disc of ice at Lover Girl, who punched straight through it.

Aang watched silently, feeling no urge to intervene as he watched two incredibly beautiful girls bitch-bend each other.

Cari began to spin around and round, her arms twiddling as she danced, until the earth moved with her, twisting, spiraling, and creating a whirlpool of Earth. Awesome.

Katara was quickly caught in the alarming currents, finding herself moving with it, turning round and round until she was dizzy. Instead of pulling her into the middle and letting her drown in mud, Cari graciously pulled her out again- but only for personal gain.

Godzilla stumbled around, dizzy as a drunken King Bumi, her eyes creased in concentrating to stand straight and continue fighting. But it was lost; she fell over in a heap and grounded something about motion sickness.

"Sorry, Loopy, looks like I've won." Cari said shortly, but her eyes were twinkling with good humour, "You really thought you could hit me and get away with it?" She chuckled and patted her head, so she sunk into earth slightly, "You're so dense."

"Mmmmgurg…" Katara gurgled.