"…Yeaaah I'm gonna say no to the whole relationship thing."

At this moment, Momo who had been discreetly nibbling on the rope that was suspending the three in this net cut through, and Cari, Katara and Aang fell to the ground with a crash.

Aang and Katara burbled hopelessly in a daze, but Cari leapt up, ripped the net off of her and screamed: "WHAT?!"

"What…?" Sokka whispered, looking tragic. It was a bit presumptuous of him to think he'd get the girl he wanted every time! The Princess girl was probably just trying to rebel against her strict Royal Family and chose the best peasant she could find. And Suki…well there aren't really many teenage boys on Kyoshi Island now, are there?

"I'm sorry." Toph said emotionlessly, shrugging her shoulders, "Just seems to me that every girl you're with ends up dead, or in jail and then dead."

Sokka moved his mouth but no words came out. Cari began to growl. Katara was eating meat, still out of it and Aang was trying to waltz with Momo. Cari began to growl louder…

"Cari, suck it up!" Toph scolded, "You're not going to beat me. Were you ever a wrestler?"

"No but I've managed to break your bones quite a few times!" Cari hissed, "We went through a HELL of a lot to get you two kids together- now Sokka is willing to co-operate. Why can't you?"

"For the reasons I just said- I've survived a lot, but I'm not sure I can quite survive being his girlfriend!" Toph motioned towards Sokka.

"Thaaanks..!" Sokka mumbled…

"Well. We'll just have to change your mind!" Cari said decidedly, "You two will have your candle lit dinner and MAKEOUT!"

For some reason, Cari managed to get her way. After they set up camp in a nicer part of the mountain that didn't smell like meat, they found a little ledge looking over the valleys (including the pile of rubble that was Cari's mudslide) and set up a dinky little table.

"Come, come, sit!" Cari cried, yanking the supposed couple along by their fingers. She practically threw them into her seats, before smacking her hands together. Katara appeared with a sullen look on her face. You're probably wondering why she was acting like Cari's slave. I think a bruise the size of an egg in the middle of her forehead should explain all.

"Yes?" She mumbled.

"Fetch me a dishcloth." Cari ordered.

"What's a dish cloth?"

"Fine, a rag." Cari said through gritted teeth as she tried valiantly to maintain her charming smile. When Katara fetched one for her Cari draped it over her arm.

"Now go get the meal."

"Huh? Couldn't you have asked me that at the same time?!" Katara asked helplessly. Cari sighed and began to turn. By the time she had stopped to face Katara, the defeated water bender had disappeared to get the food. She returned with a huge silver platter, covered with an elegant lid. Cari snatched it from her and approached the table, where Sokka and Toph were fidgeting due to the awkward circumstances.

"Madam." She simpered, "Monsieur. Your meal."

There was a 'ching!' as she lifted the huge lid. It was a pile of meat.

"Isn't this the same meat you were using to-" Sokka began.

"No!" Cari snapped, turning red.

"She's lying." Toph told Sokka.

"Shut up and enjoy your meal!" Cari hissed, forgetting her patient and kind act, "I-I mean, will that be all?"

"Well, what's the point of candles if you're not going to light them?" Toph said, pointing to the two black candles sitting rather pointlessly on the table. Cari blinked.

"Well…I don't have any-"

"Cari." Toph said exasperatedly, "This is the first chance you've been given to use those damn matchsticks stuck behind your ear and-"

"OH YEAH!" Cari shrieked excitedly, and drew out one of the long knobbly sticks from behind her ear, "Here goes!"

Scratch---SNAP.

Silence…

"For the love of DISNEY!" She roared, before throwing the broken matchstick over her shoulder and snatching out the second. This time being a great deal gentler, she scraped the match across the rough table and it caught light- the table that is, not the match.

"Oh…dear." Cari burbled. Toph leapt up and pulled Sokka away from the blazing table.

"Nice, Cari, real nice…!" Sokka remarked. He received a punch across the noggin.

"Oh stop it." Toph said, and threw a pile of earth upon the fire and-

"The MEAT!" Sokka cried. Isn't it strange that the Carnivore didn't realize that Barbeque, the best form of meat, had just been invented. He could've been SO happy.

"Well looks like your silly little plan here didn't seem to work, did it Cari?" Toph said smugly, "You give up now?"

"Fine…" Cari mumbled, "I give up. I should be back in the Earth Kingdom by now, y'know, with my nice little vase I was collecting. But no, I gave it up just to get you guys together…sorry I even bothered, I guess."

And with her shoulders slumped and her feet heavy, she left the ledge and walked into the woods. The act would've been perfectly believable if they didn't hear her whistling a few moments later.

Toph rolled her eyes, but looked shocked when Sokka began to move off into the trees as well.

"Where are you going?"

"Well there's no point me staying here, is there?" Sokka muttered.

"You mean…you don't even want to stay friends?" Toph asked, abashed.

"How can I be your friend after I've…I've tasted your lips?" Sokka whispered, watching her closely. He saw a hint of pink on her porcelain features.

"You idiot." Toph groaned, taking a step towards him, "I forgot how stupid you can be!" Another step.

"Yeah, fine, insult me. Add to the pile why don't you?" Sokka grumbled, but he was alert as she continued to move towards him.

"You think I'd give Cari the satisfaction, let her think she was right?" Toph asked mischievously, "I can detect lies, but I'm pretty damn good at telling them too."

"So…you didn't mean it? You want to…you want…"

"You." Toph confirmed and kalooh kallay, she kissed him!

The next day, Cari remembered that she was meant to be home by now with the ornate vase she had forgotten to collect because of the distraction of bumping into Toph. When she broke the news at breakfast, Katara seemed to perk up immediately.

"Oh, you mean you're not planning to stay with us for good?" She squeaked, relief rushing through her.

"Nah, I prefer a bit more excitement to be honest." Cari yawned, seeming to forget the mudslides, getting trapped in nets and standing up to terrifying rabbits, "I know you'll all miss me."

"Yeah, I mean, I don't know how we're gonna keep it together…!" Katara said sarcastically. Cari ignored her, but sent a molehill on the spot where Katara was sitting. She yelped and fell silent.

"I'm really gonna miss having you around, Matchsticks." Toph admitted, "I know I've been pissed off ever since you've decided to…'work your magic'-"

Sokka and Aang snorted, but stopped abruptly when Cari's eyes started to glow.

"But it's been awesome to see you again!" Toph finished hurriedly, "Sorry that your plan with me and Sokka didn't work out."

"Suuuure it didn't." Cari winked. Toph's blood went cold- That egotistical harlot can't possibly know. Just deny everything.

"No. It didn't." Toph agreed stiffly.

"Ya sure?" Cari continued, winking again.

"Yes. I'm going to mistake that wink for a nervous tick." Toph said stubbornly.

"Reaaaally?" Cari sang.

"Why would I like Sokka?" Toph burst out, flinging a hand in Sokka's direction. He paused from shoveling noodles into his face, "He's a pig! He's lanky, he's lazy and sometimes feminine!"

"Thanks…" Sokka choked, and shoveled the grub that was now classified as comfort food into his mouth with more vigor.

"He can't pull off that pony tail," Toph continued, counting off on her fingers, "He's a crap climber, he can't rhyme for crap but still refuses to stop spouting out those dumb haikus, he think Appa has sense of humour-"

"Appa's funny!" Aang insisted, "The other day he coughed up a hair ball, and there was a pear inside."

Silence.

"A pear!" He repeated. He gave up after he had actually brought out the pear, and tried to reenact it with a hunk of Appa fur.

"You people don't understand." He mumbled grumpily.

"I do!" Katara cried, her eyes shining as she edged closer to Aang.

"Fine, fine." Cari accepted, paying more attention to her nails than Toph's nice little speech on Sokka's lack of an excuse for living, "It's not like I braved Katara when her painters were in, got trapped in a net, fell off Appa and basically put up with the nursery child that is Aang just to bring you happiness, not to mention-"

"OH FOR GODS SAKE!" Toph screamed. She grabbed the front of Sokka's clothes and pulled his face to hers. Their lips met for the fourth time, and Toph could feel Sokka's heartbeat so clearly, she didn't know where his ended and hers began.

As they pulled apart, Sokka turned bright red and she had the distinct taste of noodles in her mouth. But she loved noodles.

"Told you." Cari said simply.