A/N: This chapter hints at Sanji's dark past (we all know what it is, based on the manga). Anyway, I'm perhaps not the best person to judge if something is triggering or not since I personally don't have any triggers. There are allusions to starvation, depression, and suicidal thoughts. If you think I should add any specific tags to the story, please, please let me know. I'll still let you know if anything particular traumatic happens at the beginning of each chapter.
He needs him. He needs his warmth, his touch, his voice. He needs him more than the jagged breath he draws in, more than the violent beating of his heart, more than the last fickle strands of sanity holding him together.
When he's with Zoro, there is nothing else. The man is overpowering, addictive, entirely too much. Zoro unravels him, thread by thread, and leaves him raw and open in the most delicious of ways. Zoro makes him feel, fills him up with emotions so alien and addictive that it leaves him breathless.
As soon as the door shuts behind them, Sanji kisses him desperately, surrendering control as soon as Zoro challenges him. He doesn't need it, he doesn't want it. Not tonight.
Zoro's hands are on his waist, his fingers digging into the taut skin painfully, and Sanji grips his upper arms, grounding himself with the feeling of something solid underneath his hands. The kiss is slow and sensual, and even though Sanji wishes for more, he doesn't demand it because Zoro is calling the shots here. Still, he groans into the kiss knowing that Zoro loves it when he makes such a noise. The hands on his waist move down to grip his ass in reward, the tips of his fingers digging into the cleft, a promise of more to come.
Sanji shivers.
Zoro pushes him back suddenly, making him stumble on the bed and fall, sprawled. Zoro quickly joins him, grinding down against him and kissing him deeply once more. Sanji hungrily chases his lips when Zoro pulls away, but the other man only gives him a fleeting graze of lips before his mouth is moving down to kiss his chest, his fingers working fast to unbutton his shirt.
"Undress me," Zoro murmurs, and Sanji scrambles to obey, swallowing thickly when he gets to see Zoro in all of his naked glory. Sanji loves the color of his skin, the dark shade such a contrast against his own. Zoro's body is littered with scars, each one more sensitive than the last. They scatter over his body like tears on a canvas, some twisted and gnarled, others so faint that Sanji can only tell they're there by the feeling of slightly raised skin.
It isn't until they're both naked that Sanji realizes he's hard, his cock flushed red and standing upright, balls tight, but Zoro isn't.
Sanji pushes him back, reversing their position, and kisses a trail down Zoro's chest—stopping only a moment to softly bite at the sensitive, rugged scar—until he feels the burning heat of Zoro's cock. He's glad to see the man is half-hard now, and quickly getting harder as Sanji studies him through lidded eyes.
Zoro is cut, the skin soft and tanned, nestled in curly green hair. He doesn't look that big, but Sanji knows from experience that he gets bigger—much bigger. He's nervous—he's never sucked off a guy before—but he wants to be good, so he just goes straight for it and wraps his lips around it, licking the velvety soft skin. Zoro is slightly bitter, with a more overpowering hint of steel, but as a chef, Sanji has tasted worse things.
Sanji is more concerned with the feel of him: the unbelievably soft skin, the heavy weight of it on his tongue, the way it slowly hardens in his mouth, getting bigger and bigger until it can't fit in his mouth. He tries to remember what's been done to him. He wraps his hand tightly around the base of it and sucks on the head, getting it slickly wet with spit. He digs his tongue under the head, then runs his wet lips down the length of it. He kisses it and licks, getting himself used to the taste. It's not much about getting Zoro hard anymore, but simply as a way to make the other man feel good.
Zoro makes a soft sound, and Sanji looks up to see the swordsman looking down at him, eyes dark and mouth open. Very deliberately, Sanji sucks on the tip, hollowing his cheeks and digging his tongue into the soft underside. Zoro's body shakes and his head hits the bed, back arching as he tries to sink deeper into Sanji's mouth. Sanji lets him in a deep as he can before his gag reflex forces him to push Zoro down.
He pulls him out and wipes the excess spit across his arm. Zoro is breathing hard, his body shaking with slight tremors, and the image is burned into Sanji's mind.
"It's good," Zoro mumbles, moving a heavy hand to pat Sanji's head. "So good."
Getting his breathing to slow down again, he settles into a comfortable rhythm of getting as much as he can into his mouth and jacking off the rest with his hands. He makes sure his tongue presses on the thick vein on the underside, and groans when the head hits the back of his throat. He takes his cues from Zoro's grip on his hair; it's minimal, but Zoro tightens when something feels good, pulls on the strands when it doesn't. Sanji pulls back with a wet pop and leans down to press his lips where the head meets the shaft. He sucks around it like he does when smoking, and flattens his tongue to massage the sensitive bundle of nerves on the underside.
Zoro groans loudly, and Sanji's eyes flick to meet his. He can't help but grin at the shocked expression on the other's face, and moves down to give the same treatment to every inch, again paying especial attention to the thick vein. He moves his hands from Zoro's hips to his ass, squeezing the hard muscle, and pulling Zoro closer.
Zoro is leaking steadily now, and his cock glistens with it. The muscles of his lower stomach are shaking with exertion and he looks close to coming, so Sanji returns to the tip and swallows him whole.
"Fuck!" Zoro yells out, instantly biting on his lip before they wake Chopper up, forgetting that his son can't hear them. His hips keep bucking against Sanji, hitting the back of his throat, but he still doesn't fit entirely in the cook's mouth. Sanji feels his eyes water but is able to keep from gagging, so he repeats the motion again, trying to get him a little deeper each time.
Precum and spit are trailing down the sides of his mouth, running down his neck, but he barely notices. Zoro is fucking steadily into him now, his hands holding Sanji's head still as he fucks his mouth, testing the limits of his gag reflex.
Suddenly, Zoro pushes him off and tugs at him until they're face-to-face again and brings him in for a kiss. Zoro's cheeks are a cherry red, his brow bright with sweat, his hair a mess from running his fingers through it.
"So fucking amazing," Zoro praises, his hands running over every inch of skin he's able to touch. "So fucking gorgeous. Turn around for me, Sanji. On your knees."
Oh, now that sounds wonderful. Sanji quickly obeys without giving a snappy reply, moving until he's on his hands and knees with his face pressed against the pillows and his legs spread wide. If Zoro is wondering why Sanji is being so uncharacteristically obedient, he doesn't voice it, and Sanji doesn't feel like explaining it.
He feels a hot hand rubbing his perineum and moans. His own cock hasn't been touched in all of this time, and he feels like he can come with the slightest graze. His breath hitches when Zoro's hand moves down, over his balls, and grips his cock, giving it a slow and slick tug. He moves his hips, taking his pleasure from Zoro's hand, but it's the feeling of something velvety soft and blunt sliding in the cleft of his ass that makes his body shudder deliciously. He moans brokenly when the thick head rubs against opening, but the swordsman doesn't thrust in—Sanji isn't prepped.
His limbs feel like putty, so he simply lets himself be manhandled as Zoro pulls his hips higher, then presses his hand on the middle of his back, forcing his chest down on the bed. Sanji tucks his arms underneath his chest, creating a nice little curve on his back, and Zoro makes a sound of approval.
Once he has Sanji in the position that he wants, Zoro's hands grip his ass and push the cheeks together until he can fuck into the tight passage. Zoro is rock hard, and every time his cock drags over Sanji's asshole, the muscles twitch and try to swallow him in. Sanji is getting close to coming, he feels so fucking turned on. He just needs a push, the smallest of push, just enough for the dam inside him to burst.
The grip on his ass loosens, and Zoro pulls back a little to wrap a hand around his cock and stroke himself. He presses the tip of his cock to the small of Sanji's back, and the cook shivers when he hears Zoro moan and something warm and wet slide down the length of his back.
It takes him a moment to realize that Zoro has come, and that the sticky wetness he feels following the natural line of his pine is Zoro's spent.
"Fuck," Zoro groans, and before Sanji can decide whether he's aroused or angry that the man came all over him, he feels a thick and wet finger push inside of him roughly.
"Merde!" Sanji gasps, shuddering at the sudden feeling of being spread. It hurts just a little—he's pretty sure Zoro is using his own come to slick the way—but Zoro is quick to find his prostrate and abuse it. Sanji bites down on the pillow hard as the sudden assault forces embarrassing sounds out of him. Zoro pulls out just for a moment—it feels like a lifetime to Sanji—and when he returns to push two fingers inside, he is much slicker. He probably grabbed the bottle of lube they keep in the bedside table.
The rough fingering get him to come soon enough, but Zoro only inserts a third finger inside the tightened muscles and keeps up the punishing pace. Sanji doesn't know whether he hates it or loves it, but it rids his mind of every thought and leaves him blissfully mindless. That's all he needs for tonight.
It takes Zoro pulling him up and on top of him to break him out of his stupor, and without preemptive—they're both too worked up again to act coy, too far gone to engage in any more foreplay—slams down on Zoro's cock and takes him all the way in.
"Fuck yes!" Zoro growls and Sanji cries out when the thick head jabs at his abused prostrate.
Zoro doesn't waste any time, quickly pushing up to fuck into Sanji and force more sounds out of him. Sanji immediately works to get his pleasure from the other man, working his hips against Zoro's. He raises his hips and slams down again, rolling his hips a little so that the blunt head inside of him can touch him just where he wants to. His hands are digging into Zoro's chest, his nails leaving little crescent moons of blood on the tan skin, but Zoro doesn't seem to care about the pain. The loud clapping of skin hitting skin and the lewd wet sounds of slick limbs aren't loud enough to drown out their pleasured cries, and Sanji doesn't even have the state of mind to thank the gods the walls are soundproof.
Suddenly, Zoro sits up completely, making supernovas burn behind Sanji's eyes as the cock inside hits a new angle. Like this, Zoro can't fuck up into him, but he makes up for it by grabbing Sanji's hips and slamming him down on his cock. Sanji's arms wrap desperately around Zoro's shoulders, his legs around his back, and bites down on the small juncture where neck becomes jaw to keep from screaming his head off. His knees are digging into Zoro's ribs, and he knows that's a sensitive spot for the swordsman, so he digs in harder.
Zoro comes first, his thrusts becoming wildly erratic as he unloads inside of him, muffling his groan of pleasure in Sanji's neck. Zoro continues to fuck into him as he milks his own orgasm until Sanji tips over the edge and comes.
He doesn't realize his gasping for breath until Zoro touches his face gently and meets his gaze.
"Sanji, are you okay?" he asks softly, his eyes concerned.
"I'm…fine," Sanji gasps, trying to get himself to calm down. All that he needs is to ride the soft glow still lingering in his mind and he'll be fine. Don't think, don't think, don't think. He's on overload right now, a thousand different emotions clamoring for attention inside of him right now, and he's so glad he could almost cry.
"I'll go get a towel to clean up."
Sanji can't really move, so Zoro maneuvers him until his laying on his side. He pulls the comforter from underneath him and throws it on the ground with their clothes. Sanji frowns, but can't muster enough energy to bitch; besides, Zoro will get lost trying to find the laundry room, even though it's just across the hall.
His room is bathed in eerie blue light, the ocean outside still electrified. He touches his stomach, but there's no debilitating hunger. He can hear running water, probably Zoro cleaning himself off.
He falls asleep before Zoro returns, and—thankfully—dreams of nothing.
In the morning, they drop off Chopper at Usopp's before going to work.
As soon as he steps inside the kitchen, he knows Zeff saw the sea, too. There are bags under his eyes and his insults fall a little flat. He pulls Sanji outside to ask him if he's okay, but he tells him he's fine. And the best thing is, he isn't lying. He did eat a little bit more than necessary during breakfast and he's a little sore and a little sleepy, but he's honestly fine.
Usually, when he sees a trigger, he tends to spiral out of control. It hasn't happened that often lately. The last time he had an episode, he was maybe eighteen…nineteen? He doesn't count the little episode he had in front of Zoro's apartment complex that night long ago, since he regained control pretty quickly. They used to happen all the time when he was a kid, and even Zeff couldn't do anything about them. He has a better control of it, he's learned the signs and has found ways of preventing them before they get to be too much.
He felt it yesterday. That hunger that claws at him, trying to crawl out of his throat and feed on everything it sees. It's terrifying. No matter how hard he tries, how much he reminds himself that he's no longer in that god forsaken rock, his body doesn't listen.
The first sign is pain. Deep and bone-crushing, it makes him feel like he's being buried alive. Then comes the hopelessness. The depressing thoughts telling him he's going to die, alone and hungry, and that no one will care. The third sign is the devastating hunger, eating away at his insides. It doesn't call for food—Sanji tried to satiate it that way once; he threw up for hours—but for everything that makes him who he is as a person.
Thoughts and emotions are eaten away, leaving him hollow and raw. Strand by strand, it make him feel as if he's going to disappear at any moment, destroyed by his own insides. He doesn't get nightmares, he doesn't feel fear. Those things are welcomed—anything is better than feeling nothing, feeling like he's hollowed out, void of reason and thought, empty of soul and existence.
It's a hunger that leaves him starving for his soul.
Usually, it takes days for the hunger to be satiated. He's left an empty shell after it happens, and it can take months for him to go back to normal.
But yesterday, Zoro kept that hunger away. He fed it all the pleasure, all the pain, all the smothering warmth that Zoro handed out so effortlessly him—and it had been enough. Just like before, when feeding Zoro and Chopper armed him with a purpose and kept the hunger away that night, Zoro keeps him from spiraling out of control.
He knows Zoro felt that something was off from the moment he kissed him last night. He knows because Zoro was the one who ushered everyone out of the house, the one who put Chopper to bed and made sure he was asleep. He knows because Zoro doesn't ask any questions, doesn't demand anything from him. He's just there for him, unconditionally.
When Zoro comes in to pick up a plate for one of his customers, Sanji kisses him.
"What was that about?" Zoro asks once Sanji pulls back.
"Don't complain," Sanji says, turning back to the beef fillet he still needs to smoke. He wonders if adding raw beets will add the flavor it needs. "Just thank my benevolence and be glad someone like me is willing to kiss you, marimo."
Zoro pulls him around and kisses him, hard and demanding, until Sanji opens his mouth and lets the swordsman lick at the roof of his mouth.
"Thanks," he says, grabs his plate and walks out.
Sanji stares after him, shocked, until the other cooks start laughing.
"God, Sanji, you're so whipped!" Jessica laughs from where she's preparing a smoked salmon.
"Hey, did you see that huge bite on Zoro's neck?" Patty grins, waggling his eyebrows. "Someone got lucky yesterday."
"Oi, Sanji, if you're hungry, just make a sandwich or something," Carne sniggers. "No need to eat your boyfriend."
"I'm sure Zoro likes being 'eaten'," Jenny adds, sly smile in place.
Zeff cuts in before Sanji can go off on the guys. "Go back to work, idiots!" he snaps. Sanji snickers, but it dies as soon as Zeff continues. "This wasn't what I meant when I told you to eat your vegetables, Eggplant."
The cooks burst out in loud laughter, and even the poor dishwasher boy looks like he's torn between laughing and crying.
"Shut up, you shitty old geezer!" Sanji yells, throwing out a kick to the closest cook. Carne squeals in pain, rubbing at his head.
There are a couple of more jokes, but it soon gets too busy. They have a couple of last minute cancellations, but they instantly get filled in with walk-ins.
It's so busy, that Sanji can't leave with Zoro when his shift ends. He hands the keys of his BMW to the swordsman and tells him to come pick him up at closing time.
Jenny is the one who reminds him about the Black Boxes. Jessica was the one who brought the idea of having a box for each server so that the customers could leave messages. It's supposed to help with identifying their weaknesses and strengths as customer service workers, but Sanji thinks it's just another way for customers to whine.
But since his sweet Jessica was the one who suggested it, Sanji complied. So now, they hold a meeting on the first of every month to check the boxes and talk about what they can do better and stuff. Sanji honestly doesn't care.
Since Sanji took the day off yesterday, they moved the meeting to today. Most of the morning shift workers start arriving a couple of minutes before closing, and only Zoro and Ever are late.
Sanji is helping Kamakiri put up the chairs when a high-pitched voice yells his name and he turns to see Chopper running towards him in that cute raccoon-like form Sanji likes.
"Sanji, Sanji! Can we have the Christmas party at home? Luffy thinks it would be a great idea because you're the best cook ever and our tree is so pretty, so all of the presents would look better underneath it, and it would make it look so much cooler. And everyone thinks it's a great idea, except Dad, but Nami said that I can still ask you because it's your house, and you're nice. And Usopp said that if you still said no that I can always pull out the birthday card since my birthday is on Christmas Eve, so please, Sanji, please can we have the Christmas party at home? Please?"
Sanji blinks, trying to process everything that just came out of Chopper's mouth. Zoro is standing behind him, looking like he would rather have the ground swallow him, and all of the other workers are looking at Chopper like they can't believe their eyes.
The first thing that register is the fact that Chopper called his house 'home'. Then everything else clicks in.
"Of course we can, Chopper," he says, smiling.
Chopper cheers and transforms back into his human form in excitement. "And can we have cotton candy?"
"Sure, buddy."
"You're the best!" Chopper does a little victory dance that is the cutest thing Sanji has ever seen.
"Alright, bud, calm down," Zoro, the heartless bastard, says. "What do you say now?"
"Thank you, Sanji!"
"You're welcome, Chopper."
"Is this your son, Zoro?" Rebecca asks, her eyes on Chopper.
"Yes, this is Chopper. Say hi to Rebecca, Chopper."
"Hi, Rebecca!"
"Hello, Chopper," Rebecca says, looking like Christmas came early.
Soon, everyone is saying hello to the little boy, praising him when they find out he's starting college in January. Abi and Kamakiri ask if Zoro is sure Chopper is his, since the kid is so cute and Zoro so damn ugly, but the marimo only glares in response.
Porche, in particular, falls in love with Chopper's chibi form, but Chopper ends up sitting on Rebecca's lap as Sanji starts the meeting.
He starts off with Abi, who doesn't have that many 'suggestions' in her box. There's a snotty customer that says she should let her hair grow longer, and another one that complains that the meat had blood—Abi rolls her eyes and says the guy ordered it rare. Most of the little notes are praise, however, and leave the girl in a much better mode.
Next is Rebecca. Most of her complaints come from women saying she's too flirty with their husbands. Most of her praise comes from said husbands trying to pick her up. Sanji sees red and tells her that if any more guys make a pass on her, she's allowed to throw them out. He would do it himself, but he hasn't been staying for the evening shift lately.
Kamakiri doesn't get that many complaints this month, at least compared to November. Jerry is split right the middle with eight complaints and eight praises.
Zoro, however, has over twenty slips on his box, definitely more than a guy who has only been working for two weeks should have.
"I can already imagine these," Sanji laughs, picking up the first one. "My food was cold because the waiter spent fifteen minutes trying to get to my table. He walked past me four times. Oh my god, that's priceless!" Sanji cackles.
"I saw that!" Abi grins. "She didn't leave you a tip, did she?"
"No. She's the one who kept moving her table!" Zoro snaps and Sanji laughs harder.
"Alright, alright. Next one. You have a pretty nice ass. Clearly, whoever wrote this has deep, psychological problems," Sanji says, throwing it away.
"Fuck you, cook."
"Zoro, you shouldn't curse in front of Chopper!" Rebecca snaps, but the boy only rolls his eyes.
"I have heard it all," he sighs.
"Get to the next one," Kamakiri says.
"569-658-5698. Call me." Sanji rolls his eyes and picks the next one. "I would complain that I was given the wrong plate, then again, you're so fucking hot I honestly can't remember what I ordered."
"Are all of those pick-up lines?" Jerry laughs, reaching out for one. "You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill. Oh my god!"
"Wait, let me read one," Muret says, getting one before Sanji can stop her. "You left me soaked. No, I know you didn't spill anything on me."
Soon, everyone is reading out the bad pick-up lines, including the girls, to Sanji's horror.
"I know why they call it a beaver, 'cause I'm craving some of your wood."
"I think everything would look good on you. Even me."
"I'm a gymnast. 569-586-2675."
"I really wanna see if the curtains match the drapes."
"Okay, that's enough," Zoro interrupts, glancing at Chopper meaningfully.
"I guess this is why you're getting such good tips on section D," Rebecca giggles.
"Oi, look at this one: Hey waiter, I can give more than just the tip."
"Alright, let's move on to the next box," Sanji says, rolling his eyes.
"Jealous, Sanji?" Abi grins.
"As if! They're only hitting on the shitty moss because I stay in the back all of the time."
"If you stepped outside everyone would run screaming from that weird eyebrow."
"Eh? Say that to my face, you shitty swordsman!" Sanji yells.
"C'mon, we don't have time for you guys," Muret snaps. "Some of us want to get home."
"Of course, Muret dear!"
It takes them a little longer to finish up, and by the time they're done, Chopper has fallen asleep in Rebecca's arm and she grudgingly hands him off to Zoro. Sanji doesn't want to admit it, but when Zoro wraps his arms around his son and gently kisses his hairy forehead, it's the most adorable things he's ever seen.
Sanji is preparing dinner when Chopper comes to ask him for a ride to the University a couple of days later.
"Wapo is letting the Isshi-20 do a conference!" Chopper says excitedly. "Kobato booked us a seat!"
"Okay, just let me turn off the oven and I'll take you," Sanji says. Zoro is probably off in the gym training, or dozing off in the patio. "Go and grab your stuff and make sure to grab your father's phone so you can call us when you're done."
"Okay!"
He finds Zoro doing weights in the patio and takes a moment to admire his profile as he works out, before letting him know that he's taking Chopper to the University. Most likely, the boy will spend the night with Kobato, since these things tend to run late. He trusts the girl more ever since Robin ran a background check on her and nothing bad turned up.
It takes him maybe an hour to get Chopper to the University and then get back home. It's already starting to get dark out by the time he gets back, so he's surprise to see Nami's and Ace's cars parked behind his two other cars, blocking their way out. At least, they left his empty space open.
He can hear voices the closer he gets to the living room, but he steps into the kitchen first to pick up the mess he left before leaving with Chopper. He's surprised to see most of it already put up, except for a few pans and ingredients that are put in the wrong spot.
Zoro most likely tried to help him. He smiles even as he moves the sugar from the second pantry to the first, where he keeps all of his baking supplies.
In the living room, he finds the usual group plus Ace and Marco.
"Sanji! Hey, did you bring meat?" Luffy greets, looking around him as if he's hiding the meat somewhere.
"Nice to see you, too, Luffy," he says wryly.
"Sorry to burst in, Sanji," Ace says politely, smacking Luffy in the arm.
"Oh that's fine," Sanji shrugs. He turns to Zoro, who is sitting next to Kaya. "Chopper said he'll stay with Kobato until we get off work tomorrow."
Zoro only hums, his eyes on the TV Sanji installed after they moved in and Chopper asked to see his usual cartoons.
"That's great!" Usopp says, perking up. "Now you have no excuse not to come with us."
He sees Nami send Usopp a glare from the corner of his eye, and tries not to react. It's clear she doesn't want him to come. Since the beginning, all of Zoro's friends have been civil towards him, but they don't really act like they accept him. He feels like he's walking on eggshells, trying to please them all and only failing. It's clear that they think he's a good person, but he can't help but think that they don't think he and Zoro belong together.
Well, except for Luffy.
"Fine," Zoro sighs. "You and Kaya can ride with us, since Nami's car isn't all that big."
"You can take the car if you want, but I don't feel like going," Sanji says, sick feeling getting worse when he sees Nami smile. Vivi gives her girlfriend a stern look and the red-head quickly wipes it off her face, but not quick enough. Sanji's poker face would put Zoro's to shame, though.
"Eh? Aren't you always complaining we don't go out on dates?" Zoro complains.
Sanji snaps. "Fuck you," he growls, throwing the keys at his face. Zoro catches them, but Sanji is already heading back to the kitchen, seething. Zoro makes it sound like hanging out with him is a goddamn hassle. If he doesn't want to be with Sanji, nobody is forcing him. They don't have to go out together all the time—Zoro can hang out with his friends alone and Sanji…well, Law is busy. And Kid is probably at work.
Fuck, Sanji can stay in his bed and watch Toy Story 3. For the thirteenth time.
Shit, why is he getting so upset? He tries to muddle through the mess that are his emotions, until he finds the answer. Oh yes: he's running on overload right now, still a bit sensitive from the barely-prevented episode; almost forgot about that. He scowls at his kitchen counter for lack of anything better to do and decides to start on a marjolaine cake. It's pretty late, and the dish takes several hours to prepare, but he needs to be on auto mode right now. Watching a movie would leave him a lot of time to think, the last thing he wants to do right now.
Zoro has probably already left. He doesn't hear voices anymore, but then again, his house is pretty well insulated.
He starts pulling out ingredients, separating them by what he'll need first. Almonds, powder sugar, eggs, granulated sugar, milk, some unbleached flour, hazelnuts. Does he have praline powder? Yes, but maybe not enough. He should probably go get some. Is he missing anything else? He's low in paprika, but he won't need it for this recipe. He needs some more food coloring, some white pepper, and there's only one bag of brown sugar left. He definatley needs to go get some of that.
Zoro is leaning by the entrance, watching him. Sanji startles and almost drops the note where he wrote his impromptu grocery list.
"Shitty moss, you surprised me," he snaps. "What are you still doing here?"
"What are you talking about? It's the first time in weeks we have the house to ourselves. I'm not going out when I have all I need right here."
Is he talking about sex? Is that all Zoro is looking for in him? Maybe that's what Zoro means when he says he like Sanji. Maybe Sanji is just convenient—he's willing to give everything to Zoro, from his money to his body. Shit, not, he shouldn't be thinking like this. Zoro likes him…doesn't he? Or are Nami and the others right not to trust their relationship? Are they really not compatible?
It's not wise to think about things like this so close to one of his episodes, even if he did manage to keep it from getting too bad. His mind is already swimming with dark thoughts, scrutinizing his relationship with Zoro at a time like this will only cause him to do something he regrets. Too many of his past relationships have ended because of this.
"You look like you're giving yourself a headache," Zoro murmurs. "Are you okay, cook?"
Fuck, he's being ridiculous. The fact that this is holiday season is only making things worse. Going through Christmases, birthday parties, and other holidays alone is not the healthiest way to live. He was practically touch-starved when he met Zoro. And besides, Zoro isn't the kind of person who would only date someone for what they give him. He has to trust in the fact that Zoro likes him.
"I'm fine," he sighs, not meeting the swordsman's eyes. "Where are the others?"
Zoro shrugs. "They might still be in the living room. I told them I wasn't going if you're staying."
Sanji feels a tug in his heart, then imagines what Nami could be thinking right now, and winces.
"Do you want to go?" he asks hesitantly.
Again, Zoro shrugs. "Better than staying in the house all night and baking a—what exactly were you about to do?"
"Doesn't matter," he sighs. "C'mon. I'll go."
The others are still waiting for them, so they all leave together. Sanji is a little annoyed when he hears they're going to Level 5.5, and it only gets worse when they arrive and he sees Nami wave Saga over.
"Saga! What are you doing here?" she exclaims. Did she invite him over thinking Sanji wouldn't come? Does she think Saga is a better match for Zoro?
"Trying to get laid," Saga laughs, and everyone but Sanji—and Luffy, who's gone off on his own to look for some Bon-chan character—joins in.
They grab seats near the stage, even though the last thing Sanji wants to do is watch men dance around on poles. Usopp and Nami leave to grab their drinks.
Saga, of course, knows Ace and Marco, so they all start reminiscing and whatnot. Sanji crosses his legs and lights a cigarette, trying to look like he doesn't give a fuck about the fact that everyone seems to be hanging off Saga's every word. Stupid, fancy New World professor.
He's distracted by the sight of a man wearing ladies panties—that in itself isn't that surprising, considering they're in Level 5.5—but that man just happens to be one Eustass Kid.
"Oh my fucking god!" he laughs and he knows he looks like a little kid on Christmas morning, but this is really the best thing that could have happened to him. "Are those fucking dog ears?" Because yes, Kid is walking around in pink panties with black fishnets, six-inch stiletto heels—and dog ears.
"Shut the fuck up, Sanji Black!" Kid yells as he approaches him, face as pink as his panties.
Sanji is laughing so hard he thinks he might pee himself. "Oh my god. Oh my god, this is the fucking greatest. Where's Bonney. Does she know? Did she take pictures?"
"Yeah, she did. She also has pictures of you as a bunny!"
That stops the laughter. "Don't fuck around, Kid."
"Excuse me, did I hear you say bunny?" Ace asks, leaning his head in as if trying to hear better. Zoro looks like someone just told him Mihawk is outside, looking for a fight. Great time for them to start paying attention to him, really.
"Oh yes. White mid-thigh stiletto boots, black garter belt, white panties, and a cute little bow around the neck," Kid says viciously, glaring at Sanji. "Oh, and did I forget? Big, floppy bunny ears and a tail."
"Shut your liar mouth, Eustass!" Sanji demands, blushing. "That never happened."
"Oh, I have pictures, Sanji sweetie."
"Bonney."
The only woman vicious enough to date Eustass Kid is standing before him, dressed in a cute pink mini dress with a black bodice. She has black ankle strap heels that are a bit shorter than her husband's, and her pink hair is tied in a loose ponytail. Her lips, like always, are painted to form a pink heart.
"Hi, Jewelry Bonney," she greets the others, smiling widely. "I'm this hottie's girlfriend."
"Yeah, yeah…I think you said you had pictures of Sanji?" Zoro asks, glaring at the woman suspiciously.
"Ah, you must be the new beau," Bonney grins.
"Bonney, no," Sanji begs, moving to stand up, but Zoro wraps his arms around him in a tight hug and Ace immediately jumps to sit on his lap and stop his legs from kicking the marimo.
"Stay still, Sanji," Ace grins. "I wanna see these pictures."
"Like hell!" Sanji shouts, but damn it, Ace is stronger than he looks.
"I am also interested," Vivi cuts in shyly, and Kaya nods her head rapidly in agreement.
"Vivi," Sanji whines, because no, ladies shouldn't see his shameful past.
"Well, I can't say no to such a cute face," Bonney says, smiling at Vivi.
Shit, Sanji forgot Bonney's bi, and as weak around cute women as Sanji.
"Bonney, please, I promise I will do anything you want for a whole year!" Sanji begs desperately, but Bonney is already pulling out her phone. The stupid thing is one of those huge tablet-looking phones, the ones that look ridiculous when pressed against your ear, but it takes amazing pictures. Sanji remembers that cursed phone so well.
"Let me see," she grins, swiping through her albums. "Thank god I did that backup, right sweetie?"
"Yeah," Kid grins, glancing at Sanji, who is still trying to buck off Ace.
"Aha! Lookie, isn't he the cutest?"
The others—including Saga, what the hell—all crowd around Sanji, Zoro, and Ace since Bonney has the phone facing them. Oh god, he looks horrible.
He's sitting on a black love seat in what he remembers as the back room in Kamabakka. He's wearing white panties with a tiny black bow at the top underneath a black garter belt. He remembers begging for that one, since it was the only one that had a lace skirt that at least covered his junk a little bit. He's not wearing the heel boots or the ears, only the panties, garter belt, and thigh highs. His legs are pressed close together and his hands are covering his crotch while he glares at a laughing Kid that's trying to take a picture of him. Now he knows he was just the distraction.
"Nice legs-yoi," Marco compliments.
"Right?" Zoro whispers.
He's gonna kill that shitty moss. Zeff will have to visit him in prison every time he wants to kick his face in.
Bonney swipes left, and it gets worse.
Sanji is standing up this time, glaring off to the side. The glare is somewhat diminished by the fact that he's wearing large bunny ears, and one of them flopped over to cover his face. He's wearing the stiletto boots now—which he has to admit, make his legs look amazing—and is pointing at his stomach. He remembers Kid telling him that he looks cute, and yelling back that how can he look cute with a freaking six pack. Panties are meant to be worn by smooth, curvy women—not ripped, muscled men.
Ace whistles long and Vivi swallows hard.
"Oh my," Kaya murmurs.
Bonney swipes again.
This picture is of his profile. He has a more serious look on his face, though he looks ridiculous with the bunny ears. He has his black bow tie on, too, wrapped tightly around his neck, and black dress cuffs around his wrists. He's doing a quad-stretch, his left leg pulled back until his heel touches his butt, his balance perfectly steady as he stands only on his right leg.
Because he's still wearing the stiletto boots, his ass looks extra perky, drawing immediate attention to the small bunny tail on it.
"Is that Sanji?" Nami gasps, arriving with Usopp and their drinks. The long-nosed man is staring at the picture with comically wide eyes and a bright blush.
"Isn't he gorgeous?" Bonney grins.
"Do you have any of him bending over?" Vivi asks suddenly.
"Vivi!" Sanji exclaims.
"Do you?" Nami asks, setting the glass shots on the table. Zoro reaches for one and swallows it thickly, his grip around Sanji's waist tightening when he feels the cook shift.
"No," Bonney sighs. "But I have a better one," she adds, perking up.
She swipes again and Sanji almost knocks Ace off with how hard he bucks.
This is one is a little darker, since Sanji is now on stage and the lights are off. The camera flash is bright, though, so he's in perfect detail in the picture.
He's in the middle of the walkway, crouching in front of one of the poles. His right arm is wrapped the pole behind him, his legs are spread wide open, and his left hand is touching a trail up his thigh. Bonney is standing higher than Sanji in the picture, so it doesn't show much detail around his crotch, but it gives a perfect shot of his face.
He has his fake-arousal face on, the one where he's looking up towards the ceiling, his eyes shut and his lower lip bitten.
"Oh." Marco lets out a shuddering breath and Ace only nods in agreement.
"You look totally constipated," Zoro says flatly.
"Ta gueule!" Sanji snaps. "I was pissed! I don't like wearing lingerie!"
"But you look so cute in it, Sanji," Kaya argues.
"Women look cute in it," Sanji says back, trying not to snap at sweet Kaya. "I look buff and ridiculous."
"Oh, you wanna see cute?" Bonney glares. "I'll show you cute." She takes her phone back and swipes through a couple of pictures until she finds the one she wants. She turns the phone around and presents it like a lawyer might present Exhibit A.
Sanji is standing with his side to the camera, with the camera angled from his right. It's clearly after the show, because Sanji is no longer wearing the cuffs, bow, or heels. He still has the garter belt and thigh highs, though, and his ears are firmly placed on his head. He's leaning over the bar, talking to Kid, and the camera caught him mid-laugh. He's resting his right knee on the bar stool, but he is stretching his left leg out.
What makes the picture cute, though, is that Sanji is wearing what is clearly Kid's dress shirt, because it fits him a couple of sizes too big (he used to be lanky back then, so what). The sleeves cover his hands, and the shirt would've covered his panties, too, if the shirt hadn't caught on his tail and rested, balled up, on his waist. He's pulling on the tip of his ears, clearly making fun of them to Kid, who's only half-way in the picture.
"Send me that one," Zoro says suddenly, startling Sanji.
"Like hell she will!" Sanji snarls, and finally bucks hard enough that he knocks Ace on the ground. "Erase them. Bonney!"
"Shit," Bonney gulps and takes of running, Sanji hot in her trail. He chases her to the back rooms, past some talking dancers, and into the makeup room.
"Sanji, sweetie, even if you erase them on my phone, they're backed up to my computer," she says, holding her hands up, placating.
"They you won't mind erasing them from your phone," Sanji says—he definitely doesn't snap at a woman.
"Just erase them, Bonney," Kid, who followed them, sighs. "It'll make him feel better."
"I don't know why you're so upset," Bonney grumbles, but shows Sanji as she deletes the pictures. "Your marimo loved them."
"That's not the point. You know I hated working here," he says, taking the glass of whiskey Kid offers him.
"It wasn't that bad, Sanji," Kid shrugs. "You were a no-touch worker. You never did any lap dances, you never even walked the floor. You just danced on stage."
"Yeah, at least you weren't put in the private rooms."
Sanji shudders just thinking about it. The private rooms are held behind the stage, and anyone with enough cash can buy time in them with a worker of their choice. Inside private rooms, everything from simple dancing to full on fucking is acceptable.
Sanji and Kid had been one of the few workers who were out of bounds for customers, though Iva had tried to convince them to give it a try more than once, especially after a particular customer offered five thousand Beri for a night with Sanji.
But Sanji isn't that fucking cheap, and he doesn't sleep with guys—except Zoro. So far, he's the only guy he's ever been attracted to—so he always said no.
"I guess," Sanji finally answers. "But this whole thing was still messed up. I hated dressing up."
"I actually like it," Kid shrugs. "They're comfy as hell. Of course, I would prefer it if only Bonney got to see it, but I get paid good money to walk around in these."
Sanji refills his glass with more whiskey. Yeah, the lingerie is pretty comfortable, and if he's being completely honest with himself, he likes the way Zoro reacted towards it. But his time working with Iva was like hell for him, and he has too many bad memories from that time. He's very thankful that Ivankov forced him to spar with him after his dancing lessons, because he's sure things would have been much worse for him if he didn't know how to defend himself back then. The foundations of his fighting style came from Zeff—as did his flexibility and strength—but Robin and Iva were the ones who trained him into the dangerous fighter he is today.
Sanji spends a little more time talking with Bonney and Kid, taking the opportunity to catch up with them. Once Bonney gets called outside (she's the head of security) Kid reveals to him that he's planning on asking her to marry him.
"Killer already help me pick the ring and everything," Kid admits.
"Dude, that's great!" Sanji exclaims, clapping him in the back. "Bonney is great. You guys are great together!"
"So you think she's gonna say yes?"
Sanji laughs and smacks him in the back of the head playfully. "You two have been dating for like six years. I'm actually surprised she hasn't askedyou to marry her."
Kid snorts and downs the last of his whiskey. "I'm pretty sure the only reason she hasn't is because her sister Lola is always asking guys to marry her, and she doesn't want do the same."
"Wait, is Lola still doing that?"
"Yeah! Though I think she's dating someone now—I was paying attention when Bonney talked about it."
"Kid, Iva says he's not paying you to sit on your pretty ass!" a pretty girl snaps, poking her head inside the room. "You have a request!" She sticks her tongue out and slams the door shut.
"You do requests now?" Sanji asked, surprise, and finishes the last drags of his whiskey before he follows Kid out.
"Just private dances and shit," Kid shrugs. "I'm gonna need more money for a wedding—and the honeymoon. I was thinking I could do lap dances, too, since they pay so much. But that's only if I can manage to keep from getting nauseous at the thought."
"Well hey, I'll help you out with the catering," Sanji suggests. "You can take it as your wedding gift from me, Zoro, and Chopper."
"Dude, you're a fucking life-saver!" Kid exclaims, hugging him. "Do you know how much Bonney eats? That's like twenty-thousand Beris right there!"
"I remember," Sanji says, smirking. "I'll take care of it."
"That'll be great! I really owe you big…." Kid's voice dies off and his eyes take a faraway look, staring somewhere behind Sanji.
Sanji frowns and waves a hand in front of his friend's face, and Kid startles. He suddenly looks very guilty, and Sanji doesn't know why until Kid nods at something behind him. Still confused, Sanji turns.
And his heart stops.
He gasps in a rattling breath and pinches himself, but he doesn't wake up. Because he isn't dreaming, and Zoro really is sitting there, kissing someone else.
It's not even Saga, but some random dancer with too-tight spandex shorts and body glitter. The man is sitting on Zoro's lap, his arms wrapped around Zoro's neck, and they're kissing. Sanji can't see Zoro's face, but the green hair and tan skin is unmistakable. Zoro's hands are on the man's ass, squeezing and rubbing him even as the kiss turns filthy.
"Sanji," Kid says behind him, but Sanji ignores him.
Zoro is kissing someone else. Zoro is…cheating on him? The thought is almost ridiculous in its painfulness. Never did Sanji think Zoro would ever cheat on him. Maybe break up with him, then date someone else, but not full-on cheat.
Zoro doesn't do that. He's too honorable, too proud, too—.
The couple stand up, and Sanji eyes widen when he sees the dancer lead Zoro towards the back, where the private rooms are. Sanji sees Zoro grin—is him, his face, his eyes, his mouth; it really is Zoro—and follow the other man.
"Sanji!"
"I n-need to go," Sanji grits out, his lungs screaming at him for air. Why isn't he breathing? He needs to breathe. No, he needs to get out of here before his confusion fades. There are only two possible outcomes from this: either he'll crash and fall victim to the hunger Zoro held at bay, or he'll get pissed as all hell and do something he'll regret. Like destroy Iva's club. Or kick the shit out of Zoro and that shitty dancer.
"I need to go," he repeats to himself, realizing he hasn't moved. As soon as he's able to draw in a satisfying breath, he pushes past Kid and hurries out of the club. Everything—the flashing lights, the loud music, the stink of sweat, beer, and sex—is closing in on him. The confusion is already starting to recede, and he can feel his limbs burning—but he's not too sure whether it's anger or something much worse.
How could Zoro do something like that? Why would he do something like that? It doesn't make any sense at all! Even if he didn't like Sanji anymore, he never thought Zoro would cheat. Zoro breaking up with him was always an option, but never infidelity. It doesn't make sense.
Or maybe, he just trusted Zoro too much.
He's been cheated on before—women are wonderful beings, but even they can take advantage of a person who lays their heart down to be stomped on—but it has never hurt so much. Maybe it's because cheating was always a possibility in those relationships. He loved every girl he ever dated, but he trusted very few of them.
He may not love Zoro—he likes him; he really, really likes him—but he trusts him more than it's reasonable. Well, trusted. Zoro sure as hell blew all that to hell.
He doesn't realize he's driving well past the speeding limit until he arrives home at a fraction of the usual time. He doesn't even know why he drove home. Is he going to kick Zoro out?
Shit, Sanji made Zoro quit his job. He made him stay with him. Zoro is tied to Sanji way more than Sanji is tied to him, and it isn't until this moment that Sanji realizes what he's done.
He's made Zoro completely dependent on him.
Fuck, why the fuck would he do that? Is he really so insecure that he had to tie Zoro to him to feel safe in their relationship? Did he really have to burrow his way inside so many facets of the other man's life? His job, his home, Chopper's tuition—everything is tied to Sanji.
Holy shit. What is he going to do? Fire Zoro? Stop helping Chopper? What will Zoro do if Sanji leaves him with no job or home?
He's sure Zoro can stay with one of his friends until he finds a new home, but what about a job? He doesn't feel right firing Zoro—the man is a good server, and he doesn't get scared easily by the other chefs—but he can't imagine having to share his safe-haven with the man who broke his heart.
Shit! Fucking shit! What is he going to do!?
It isn't until he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket that he realizes it's ringing. Frowning, he realizes he has Zoro's phone on him, and the message is from his own phone.
It's probably Chopper. Sanji remembers telling the little kid to take his father's phone in case he needed something—they probably got mixed up somewhere in the car ride. Should he read it?
Of course. Chopper has nothing to do with what happened, and Sanji won't leave the little kid simply because his father is a fucking cheating bastard. He rubs the bridge of his nose and opens the message.
For the second time that day, his heart stops.
It's a picture message. In it, Sanji can clearly see Chopper sitting on a wooden chair—blindfolded and tied down, his mouth taped shut.
You should take better care of your son, reads the caption.
The text is clearly meant for Zoro, and the swordsman only has one enemy strong enough to kidnap Chopper when Sanji has CP9 Agents watching over the child.
He needs to call Robin.