Chapter 3: Doorbell

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Carlisle asked quietly. There was no need to shout when everyone had super-hearing. "I think that all the authorities are searching for an assault victim. Which would be you, Emmett. Please tell me what's going on."

Emmett was shaking as if he stood on an earthquake fault line. Edward stepped forward, protectively pulling Bella with him.

"I think it would be best if Alice explained," Edward said, "since it's all her fault!"

"Well I don't think..." The pixie smiled sweetly. "Well how could you say it's all my fault? A lot of it should be blamed on human attraction."

"Alice..." Carlisle warned.

"Well," she began, "it all started when I met Natasha in Port Angeles. She was really pretty, and shopping at an awesome store, so I expected her to be amazing right away! I went up to her and said, 'Hi!' and she said, "Hi...who are you?'. 'I'm Alice,' I said, 'Do you want to be friends?' and she said yes, of course!

"So later that day I told her that Emmett was free this weekend. And then I told her that at exactly 4:36 PM Bella and Edward would be at Forks Thriftway, so she should give Edward her date note for Emmett." she giggled softly.

"How did you know that Bella and I would be at the store?" Edward demanded, instantly suspicious.

"You two are so predictable," Alice admitted foolishly.

"What does all that have to do with the shouting?" Carlisle asked, a little too loudly.

"Let me finish!" Alice bounced up and down. "Anyway, so I set Emmett up on a date with the beautiful goth girl, and then I told Mike that he should work up the courage to ask out my hot sister, Rosalie. But then Rosalie found out about Emmett, and thought that he was cheating. Okay! Done!"

"Mike Newton?" Carlisle couldn't believe it. "I thought he liked Bella..."

"So did I!" Edward exclaimed.

"Honestly," Bella said, "This just gets weirder and weirder..."

"Anything else?" Carlisle asked, still a little underwhelmed by Alice's behaviour. She'd done much worse in her years in his home."Murder? Or just more dates?"

"Oh yeah!" Alice shrieked with delight as she realized how she'd forgotten the most important part of the story. "Natasha's coming over tonight!"

Just shortly after that, Esme arrived, talking all about her new interior design project. She was flitting around, so excited to tell them all about her colour schemes, and show them the fabric samples.

Carlisle held his arms firmly around his wife's shoulders as she laid her binders across the table. "You have to prepare dinner tonight," he said.

"Oh," She said, smiling at Bella. "Well you know you're welcome any time, honey. I'll run out to the store and get some ingredients. I know my cooking's not the greatest, but you don't mind, do you?" Her cheerful rambling eased the atmosphere.

"Not just for Bella," Carlisle said. "Alice is having guests tonight."

Esme's expression turned to immediate confusion. "Well you know I don't mind parties. Just be careful." They all knew what that meant.

Alice trotted to her would-be mother. "It's not just a party. Natasha might be staying a while. She's going out with Emmett tomorrow, and then she might even get to be my sister!" She almost seemed proud of the trouble she'd caused. Well not almost proud.

Esme's face fell. "Are Emmett and Rosalie fighting?"

Rosalie appeared in a flash. "No, we are not fighting!"

"We aren't?" Emmett's face brightened.

Rosalie's chest rumbled. A growl.

"That's fine!" Esme shouted, putting a hand between them. "Alice's friend can come over tonight."

The dinner was prepared, candle-lit with flowers laying in a white vase on the table. The first was Esme's doing, but the rest was all Alice. The boys-using a very loose definition of the word-had relocated to the living room, by the wide screen television. At least that was female-free.

"First," Alice said, "We are going to do manicures, and then we're going to play truth-or-dare!" She was acting like a fourth-grader.

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret ever meeting you...," Bella mumbled.

"And then," Alice continued, ignoring Bella completely, "We're going to reminisce about the first time you met Edward." She sighed dramatically, clutching a hand to her chest. Normally you would feel a heartbeat there.

"It wasn't that romantic. Not that you would know. It was Biology, and he was trying to keep from ripping my throat out-"

"Save that for when Natasha comes over!"

The doorbell rang.

"That must be her!" Alice sang.

It rang again. And again. And by the third time, Bella was covering her ears."

"I like her already," Bella moaned. Heavy sarcasm.

Alice finally decided to answer the door, and everyone made their way to the living room. Actually, Rosalie skipped to the living room, and threw her arms around Emmett's neck. She gave Bella a terrifying look that she recognized as meaning, 'If that girl tries anything, I'll kill her.'

Alice waltzed in with Natasha, grinning at Bella and Rosalie. Natasha's eyes wandered all over the place, the chandeliers, the staircase, and the high ceilings. Her eyes met each of the Cullens, and Jasper was the only one who remained a safe distance away.

"This is Natasha," Alice announced, as if they didn't already know. "She's going to be my sister." Emmett groaned so loudly that everyone turned around to stare at him. "Natasha, this is my family. Bella, Edward, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett."

They all smiled, perfect family members. Everyone but Rosalie.