Chapter 8

We met up with the others in the centre of Trost. At last we reached shelter. Well, if you could call it that… We were sitting on the high roofs of central Trost, almost out of gas, out of hope, devastated, exhausted and mourning. Many had buried their heads in their hands, unable to keep standing, horrible images replaying in their minds. I saw some familiar faces, but many were missing. Too many… Jean was there already, Annie and Reiner with him, Marco and Berthold with me, but I couldn't see Armin, Eren and Mikasa, neither Connie, Ymir nor Krista. And what about Sasha? When I heard the familiar rippling of the 3DMG behind me, I turned around: Sasha, with Mike and Laura. But the rest of her squad was missing as well. Or had they split up? I couldn't tell, their faces were so empty, no emotion in it. Her legs didn't hold her, when she landed and so she fell to her knees. I waited for her usual: "I need food!", but it never came. Taking a hesitant step towards her, I saw the always cheerful potato girl shake and visible horror in her eyes. What had happened to Sasha that she, of all people, became like this?
"They probably saw the same as we did; Maybe even worse. I'm just glad they survived…" Marco's words seemed to come from far away, but they pulled me back into reality. With a few quick steps I had reached my scared friend, embracing her tightly. A gasp was audible and she stiffened for a second, until she relaxed and threw her arms around me, sobbing, her head resting on my shoulder.
"They… They are… monsters…" She sounded unbelieving and I just held her, as I had nothing to reply, when a voice got our attention.
"Guys? Are you okay?" Connie! I heard him land on the roof behind me, followed by several others. But I didn't dare to turn around, unable to face them or rather not to see the ones that should be there. Connie quickly approached our huddled figures, kneeling down beside us and putting a hand on Sasha's shoulder.
"Sash?"
"Thank god, you're okay…" Sasha had so much relief in her voice when she slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with Connie. He never broke their gaze, when he started talking to me:
"You should look after Armin, we brought him with us. He was all alone and we didn't find the others. Maybe you can get something out of him." All feeling left my body, all I felt was how I blanched even more. Nodding and getting up, I stumbled a bit; a hand grabbed me and held me up. Berthold's face was looking down on me, a sad look in his eyes.
"Maybe he just got separated from them. I mean, it's possible, right? That they had to split up? I mean, it could be…" Berthold opened his mouth, but closed it again. I knew he didn't want to destroy this weak string of hope I was clinging to, but I just couldn't let it go, I couldn't let this one feeling overwhelm me. And so I saw it in his eyes instead: Hopelessness.
"If you really think that, you're more stupid than I thought , ya know. They're probably…"
"That's enough!", Reiner almost shouted at Ymir, stopping her in her tracks. "Just leave her be."
"O come one, you know what must've happened. Her bubble will burst soon enough!"
"But Ymir! We can't lose hope just yet! We have to believe they're still alive!" Krista interfered, stepping between Reiner and Ymir, who were glaring at each other. I walked past them and felt Berthold's hand slip from my shoulder hesitantly.

My brother was sitting with his back against the wall, hugging his knees, eyes wide open but not seeing anything.
"Armin?" I kneeled down before him and put my hand on his. "Are you hurt?"
"I can't go on… It's too terrible… I can't… I couldn't… I just…" His words were almost inaudible, his voice not more than a hoarse whispers. Knowing him well enough I could see his feelings, but right now I wished I couldn't.
Quick steps approached someone on the roof and then there was Mikasa's voice.
"Annie! I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this, but I have to know where Eren is!"
"I don't know that. But Armin is over there." Mikasa turned and walked towards us, I slowly rose to my feet.
"Armin, Sophie, are you okay?"
"I am", I replied. "Well, kinda…"
"Thank god for that." Mikasa said as she looked at me and laid her hand on my shoulder. Then she crouched down before Armin.
"Armin, I have to know where Eren is. If you know, tell me. Please!", she said with intensity but pleading. My brother didn't move for several moments, but gripped his knees harder, then slowly lifted his head. Tears were shimmering in his eyes, his face a mask of horror, fear and grief.
"I'm sorry. They were… the Cadets of Squad 34 were… Thomas Wagner. Nic Tius. Mylius Zeramuski. Mina Carolina. Eren Yaeger. All five of them have fulfilled their duty and died heroic deaths in battle!" My whole body went numb.
"So… his whole Squad was wiped out? Only he survived?" Whispers reached my ears, their voices in shock. Then Mikasa surprised me by standing up and pulling Armin and me with her. She turned around.
"Marco! Am I correct that we just have to take out the Titans at HQ so we can refill our gas and make it out of here?"
"Y-yes, that's right, but…"
"Then we'll do it."
"Mikasa, are you nuts? We can't take them! They're too many!"
"I can take them out." The icy cold in her voice shocked me, but her words were even more frightening. There was something wrong about her…
"I am strong,", she continued. "Stronger than all of you. Very strong. You can't compare to me, you are spineless cowards. I can and will kill them with or without you. I'm not afraid of dying. If I die then I die and that's the end of it. But at least I will go down fighting."
With this, she turned around and jumped of the roof.
"Dammit, you really have to work on your oratory skills!", I heard Jean mutter before he followed her.
"Cowards! Idiots!" Sasha yelled insults at everyone before she did the same. I had to smile, it was so typical for her… I exchanged looks with my squad, and I knew that the fear I could see on Berthold's and Marco's faces was mirrored on my own. I ignored it, grabbed Armin's hand harder and pulled him with me as I started running towards the roof. He followed and I could see others moving. Seconds after we left our location to that point I heard loud battle cries behind me and the hissing sound of fired 3DMG. So we all had overcome our fear. I looked forward.