A/N: Special thanks to hickorydaisy, guestacular, and TheShulesLovinPyscho!
Chapter 2
Ariana Peverall looked around the empty auditorium. The Sue War was raging, and Ebony was leading the forces of the Sue Army, which was steadily gaining followers. But still only one had attended her class.
"Good evening, class. Today we shall be rewriting chapter two of My Immortal. This one's A/N is not quite so pathetic, but as the story goes on, they shall become steadily stranger, eventually reaching such levels of absurdity that several soldiers have cracked ribs from laughing so hard.
The main point we need to address in this chapter is the fact that a muggle band is giving a concert at Hogsmeade, wizarding Britain's only all-magical village. It is sometimes thought that this was the event that caused the crack in the Potterverse from which all Sues come. We shall attempt to at least plug this rip by changing it to, perhaps, a famous Quidditch team giving out signed autographs, or a known wizarding band playing at the concert. So without further ado, we shall begin chapter two's A/N rewrite."
The chapter popped up on the screen after Ariana was done fiddling (likely making the projector's malfunctioning worse).
Chapter 2.
AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
"This one was not nearly so awful, and therefore requires hardly any corrections, but it needs corrections nonetheless. Here it is again, once rewritten."
Chapter 2
A/N: Thanks to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! Please stop flaming my story!
Ariana smiled with relief. This A/N was easily dealt with.
"Next is the plot. In the original the main plot points are: one, to introduce Ebony's best friend. Thankfully, we took care of that in the last chapter, thus eliminating the need to introduce a new character, which will confuse readers. The other points are, two, to establish that Draco may be feeling some sort of romantic attraction to her, and three, to have Draco act on that attraction and invite her to the concert.
The original was this:"
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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.
My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner).
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.
"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.
"No I so ******* don't!" I shouted.
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.
"Hi" he said.
"Hi." I replied flirtily.
"Guess what." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." He told me.
"Oh. My. *******. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.
"Well…. Do you want to go with me?" he asked.
I gasped.
Ariana winced.
"Awful, I know. Now we shall rewrite this chapter, including, but not limited to, the corrections we discussed. Here is the rewritten version:"
The next day I was woken up the same way I have been for the last six years. With a pillow to the face. I groaned and rolled over, mumbling about Sundays and sleeping in. The pillow was quickly followed by a sneaker. I sat up and glared at the perpetrator, Willow. As I rolled out of bed, I noticed that it was still extremely overcast, meaning, to my delight, that I could go outside again.
I quickly shrugged on a green sweater, jeans, and a pair of sneakers. Willow was already dressed, so we went out of the common room and began climbing the stairs on our way to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Willow had a mischievous grin on her face.
"So," she began, "I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday."
"Mmhm," I mumbled, doing my best to sound uninterested.
"Do you like him?" she asked, giving me a playful poke.
"No!" I said quickly. Too quickly.
Willow smirked. "Ebony likes Feeerreeet! Ebony likes Feeerreeet!" she sang.
"Will you be quiet?" I hissed.
Once in the Great Hall, the first thing I noticed was, of course, Draco Malfoy.
Ferret was talking to another of our yearmates, Blaise Zabini.
Zabini smiled at him before shoving Draco in my direction.
"…Hi" he said. He sounded quite nervous to me, something that rarely, if ever, happened.
"Hey" I said, equally nervous. Why was he talking to me?
"Um, I, uh, saw a notice on the common room board… uh, the Holyhead Harpies are giving out signed autographs, and Sixth year and up can go," he said.
"Really?" I asked, trying and failing to hide my excitement. I loved the Holyhead Harpies.
"Well, I know you're a fan, and, um, will you go with me?" he stammered.
I considered my options. It was just one date, I was sure he couldn't be that much of a git. I could always ditch hm and go find Willow if things got too bad.
"Okay," I said.
He went back to Zabini, looking more pleased than usual.
Willow snorted.
"Don't like him, suuuure," she said.
"Oh shut up."
Ariana smirked.
"This concludes chapter two. Class dismissed."
She rushed off the podium, faithfully knocking over the stack of papers as she did so.
Was it just her, or was there some movement in the dark depths of the auditorium?