This chapter is dedicated to my early supporters, Shapby and Primal Red, and my current supporter, Komakipureblood. Thank you! ~Audriel
Chapter 11
The days after the wedding went like a daze for Zero after with heavy heart, he had to leave his wife and children to return to assume his duties as the president of Hunter Association. The matters regarding the internal dispute within the Association had yet to reach a satisfying resolution. He and his subordinates were turning their heads to find a way to settle the matters without letting their condition known by others, especially the vampire society. And before he realized it, the day had come for Misaki's return to Japan along with their children.
For the first time ever, he took an early leave from the headquarters, earning quite a plenty of surprised looks from his subordinates and other hunters he passed by who didn't expect to see their silver-haired leader leaving the headquarters in such early hours of the night. The ride to the mansion took two hours from the headquarters and sometimes if he was fortunate, faster. And it appeared that fortune sided with him for once; he arrived few minutes before the rest of his family came, accompanied by Matsushita who had visited the mansion once to take care of the legal matters.
The strain and the weariness he endured for the past weeks seemed to diminish the moment he saw the familiar figures of Misaki and the twins standing before him. Both Kazuki and Mizuki was looking curiously at the sight of the mansion they were going to live in, staying close to each other and to their mother at the foreign surroundings. However, they immediately ran to him when they laid their eyes on their father. Seeing both of their parents together in this new place, the children's fears and doubts were lessened greatly and before long, they were asking for a tour around the mansion.
They didn't hide their delight when they found out that they had their own rooms. The children's rooms were at the other side of the house along with the extensive library that contained every book that their small family had, while their parents' room was on the other side, separated by a study and a drawing room that served the need and duty of the young couple as an architect and as the hunter president.
The children wanted to explore more but they decided to eat dinner for the first time as a family in the mansion. Misaki tried out the kitchen with its complete set of utensils and completely stocked refrigerator with cooking ingredients they would need for a month or so. Misaki innocently remarked that it was a good thing that her husband was also a cook himself to know what to buy. Before long he was politely thrown out from the kitchen and was told to wait for the dinner with an amused attorney and excited children.
He remembered how he woke up in the early morning and found her sleeping figure next to him. She was sleeping on her side, her hands bent in front of her, her fair strands falling loosely on her shoulders and back. She was a picture of serenity. It felt almost surreal to him, after years living and sleeping on his own, waking up to the sight of empty, bleak room or shelves of books in his office, he found it rather hard to believe.
He remembered how hesitant he was to reach out, half-afraid that this was merely his wishful thinking and she would disappear from his eyes the moment he touched her only to find his hand meet smooth, warm flesh that he inwardly wanted to cry with relief that it was real, that his wife was truly next to him. Carefully he traced the outline of her and ended its track by tangling his finger with the curls of her golden hair, bringing it close to his lips to inhale its scent that was solely her. It was something he wouldn't dare to do when she was awake.
When the dawn broke, rays of sunlight found its way through the windowsill, bathing the room and its occupants with its warm glow. His sharp eyes watched how the sunlight took her in its embrace, how it slowly awakened her from peaceful slumber, how her long lashes dusted over her soft skin, how her eyelids fluttered open and revealed sleep-laden clear blue sky within, how she lightly stretched herself, and how her enticing depths slowly cleared of the haze of sleep and found him watching her. He watched as a smile slowly graced her features and soft voice greeted him.
He found himself at loss of words, which was a rarity of itself as he had just seen of one could describe as the most intimate moments that he was given privilege to. It was an experience he never had before, his wife being a much earlier riser than he was that he more often found her already wide awake when he woke up. Just the first day of their life together, and he already learned something new. And so were the days after.
Sharing a room together, he was now able to observe her daily rituals throughout the day, especially before dawn and after dusk. He could see how she did not really bother to pay too much attention to her appearance, only changing the styles of her hair and sometimes applying some mascara and lip-gloss and powder on her face when she went to work and washing her face after coming home or before sleep. She would spend few moments to choose the clothes she was going to wear and prepare the shoes and hairstyle it went with, making him learn her sense of style.
He tried to wake up earlier than her, wanting to see her awakening from her slumber. But when she found out, she warned him that he needed all the sleep he needed, being a vampire who was working human hours. So he would often wake up to a warm but empty bed next to him.
He would either find her waking up the children or preparing breakfast downstairs with their newly-appointed housemaid. Although they already had the kind and friendly Hayasaka Yurie as their maid, she would still do some of the domestic chores, including the preparation of family meals and clothes. She would prepare the already ironed and washed clothes for him to change into. And sometimes she would help him wear his tie, when he had the courage to ask.
They had decided that they didn't need too many staff in the house. One housemaid was enough to look after the children and the house when both of them were away. And two more people as a driver and a gardener who would accompany and help the maid when the house was empty.
Matsushita was the one who did the looking and Zero made the selections of candidates before discussing it with Misaki. They preferred to hire the people from the town who were aware of the existence of vampires and hunters, but wouldn't take too much interest in the new family they were working for. So that was how they found a plump old lady who could cook very well, Hayasaka Yurie and a young and skillful gardener who also knew his way around the town and city, Shirou Tetsu.
Yurie-san, as she preferred to be called, was a mother of four and a grandmother of ten and despite her graying hair, she was still lively for someone her age. She had long lost her husband and was forced to raise her three daughters and one son by her own. Her children wanted her to retire and let them to do all the work, but being an active and independent woman, she refused to stay still in her family house. Because of that, the woman understood why Misaki preferred to do some of the chores on her own.
The children opened up to the old woman rather easily, considering they never had a grandmother figure in their lives and adding that she was a grandmother herself. The main reason that made them accept her was because she wasn't the slightest bit intimidated by Zero as she had politely pointed out that Zero needed to eat and smile more during the interview, earning a muffled laughter from Misaki. Zero had the grace to look abashed, rarely being scolded, by an older woman nonetheless. It didn't take them long to hire the old lady.
Tetsu or Tetsu-kun, was another story. He wasn't actually on the list. Zero accidentally met him in town and he noticed the man's good reflexes when there was an incident of pick pocketing. Tetsu managed to steal back the purse that was snatched away and made the thief fall flat on his face. He watched in amusement when the man kindly refused the woman whom he saved trying to pay him back even though his stomach grumbled right after she left.
When he approached the barely of age man, the man looked at him suspiciously. A look that Zero often saw on hunters when they met a vampire. As suspicious as he was, Tetsu let him introduce himself and his dark eyes widened in comical surprise. Tetsu stumbled on his words and tried to show his respect to the leader of hunters.
It appeared that Tetsu had the blood of hunters in him, and was trained in its way by his only living relative, his grandfather. Both of them were living in a cabin near the forest that overlooked the residences of the two different kinds along with some other families.
The young man reminded him of his brother and he was interested to have him as part of his household that he could trust to look after his family. When Zero appeared in their modest cabin to deliver his offer, Tetsu was flabbergasted and thoroughly floored, but nearly declined his offer if not for his grandfather's intervention.
When he was introduced to Misaki, she agreed with him that there was no need for other staff with fast-learning Tetsu around. They didn't make the young Shirou to stay with them, regularly coming in the mornings and returning after night and only spending the night over when Zero didn't come home, taking his duties seriously. The two new additions to his household made him feel more at ease whenever he had to leave for long periods of time.
The children adapted to the change well enough, especially that now they had both of their parents together. They had made their rooms as their own, although they had yet fully put it into use. The first night, the young couple found them asleep in Mizuki's bed. It seemed that Kazuki's protective streak made him unable to sleep on his own. And the next night, they were found in Kazuki's bed. This time, it was Mizuki who took the initiative so her brother wouldn't have to go to her bed. It went like that for a while, both of them were still not getting used to getting separated although their rooms were next to each other. And when he returned after few days not coming home, the twins somehow managed to slip to their parents' bed. They didn't discourage it, but didn't encourage it either.
The two of them took to explore the mansion by themselves where their parents found them asleep in the library with books cluttered around them. And fortunately when they wanted to explore the forest, they asked their parents. The children had learned more caution after that day when they were attacked by level E vampires.
They already knew more of the vampires and hunters by now, they knew of darkness and light that everyone possessed, vampires and humans alike, although they had yet to know the details. He and Misaki wanted to keep them away of the harsh realities and complexities of the world for a while, not wanting to force them to grow up too soon.
I
I
I
Zero opened the door to the mansion, ignoring the sharp pain in his shoulder as he hung his coat. The mansion had become home just after few weeks of living together, and he couldn't help to always look forward coming back home after tiring days as the president of the Association. His lips curved into a smile that now no longer felt and looked unnatural on his usually cold and detached face as he felt the familiar steps of their children approaching him.
"Otousan!" Mizuki instantly jumped on him and he bent slightly to catch his little girl in an embrace while hiding his wince as she hugged him. Fortunately he made sure to change his bloodstained clothes and hide the scent of disinfectant so his children wouldn't be able to pick it up.
"Okaeri," Mizuki smiled sweetly and gave her father a peck on his cheek. His daughter was truly an endearing child, he was glad that she inherited more of her mother's nature, although outside the family, she was truly a Kiryuu. He returned the smile with a gentle look and brought her down.
"Otousan," Kazuki stood close by, a slight smile on his face. Zero affectionately ruffled his silver hair which earned a pleasant chuckle and a playful frown at the gesture. His children offered to bring some of his things silently, and he let them carry the folders of documents he had as they walked together to the living room. The delicious aroma of dinner wafted into the living room from the dining room. He put down his things on the glass table with wooden frames where papers of the children weren't scattered. He saw that they were getting better in writing and reading in their native language.
He straightened up and turned when he sensed the familiar presence that appeared from the dining room with an apron on her casual clothes, her golden hair held in messy bun. His face softened at the sight, "Tadaima."
"Okaeri," she smiled warmly at him. At this, he bent forward slightly as a soft kiss landed on his cheek. It became their ritual everytime he came home, expressing her relief to have him home, while in the mornings, it was the other way around. He would be the one who kissed her cheek, wanting to assure her that he would come back. At first it was rather awkward, both of them being a rather private person. There were failed attempts in the beginning, but eventually they dared to and they kept doing it in the safety of their home, far away from unwanted eyes.
"Dinner's ready," Misaki told him. "Your favorite Japanese ramen with some mixtures of healthy vegetables and seafood, along with grilled sashimi and some pickles."
Zero chuckled lightly at the mention of healthy vegetables that usually he forgot to add when he made it himself or his children rather dislike, seeing the frowns on the twins' face. They seemed like normal children at times like these. But fortunately their mother and their maid were a good cook, thus the vegetables didn't taste too bad for them. They ended up eating their portion quite enthusiastically.
The mealtimes were usually spent exchanging news of each other. The children would tell what they were doing while he was away, or the happenings that caught their interest. The twins were sharp and observant; the questions they asked could range from simple to complex. He was still amazed with her ability to answer their questions without being reproachful or lecturing. He thought that she managed to direct their children to the right path and keep them there. Watching her, it made him realize how much his upbringing was rather biased, compared to Misaki's who was raised in the way of Aruda who had to be neutral and objective.
Misaki told him that it couldn't be helped, because being a Kiryuu, many hunters were too wary of them and many vampires went after them. It made him quite a clear distinction which ones were bad and good, especially after what happened to his family. The fact that he could change his way of thinking by himself was a great feat, whereas many older and experienced hunters was unable to do so. He was relieved that the twins had Misaki as their mother, he didn't want them to become like him.
Then after the children, Misaki would share her daily activities to her husband and children. The firm was starting quite well; she already had few employees under her management: another architect and administrators. He never met the young woman, Harada Kyouko who was a graduate from a prestigious architect school in Japan. They started quite in a wrong foot; Harada was quite an arrogant and ambitious woman, looking down at Misaki who didn't bother with her own credentials. The woman wanted to be an equal with her, being her own leader in the new firm. Misaki had calmly challenged the woman whether she was able to make a better design than her with their client as their judge.
Zero had no doubt that Misaki's designs were better suited to the client's tastes, even before he heard of the result. In the end, the woman accepted her position that was slightly below Misaki and they managed to work well together so far. His wife admitted that Kyouko was very good, her designs were brilliant. It was only due to her experience in Atelier that she managed to best her. The woman's presence kinda kept her on her toes. Misaki told him lightly, he could tell that she was pleased by the challenge.
He was the last. It was rather difficult for him at first, because there were his children and he didn't want to expose them too much of the reality of the world, but he realized that was the best way to make them learn of the way the world worked, and to make him learn how to be more subtle, which was his weakness in diplomacy.
He told them of the latest situation regarding the Association which took his attention for quite a while, and had to delegate the matters regarding the ball to Cross. He knew Misaki noticed that he was reluctant to bother the older man while he was taking care of the Academy which was getting more Night Class students by now, but she smiled encouragingly at his decision. He mentioned that there was a violent dispute between the opposing hunters, but it was managed to be solved quickly, subtly avoiding to mention how violent the dispute.
"You mean they fought?" Kazuki asked his father, a frown on his face.
"Yes," he didn't make the hunters' image as idealistic, respectable people. There were people like that, but not all of them.
"They sounded like children," Mizuki commented, she remembered the children once she played with who fought over stuff when they could just share it, just like her and her brother, and they almost never fought for stupid stuff. Her innocent comment caused amused chuckles from her parents, agreeing her sentiments.
"Well sometimes people act like children when they forget to act like grown up," Misaki told her children, the amusement still evident.
"It's stupid though," this time it came from Kazuki, his face showed his disdain.
"True. That's why you can't do the same mistake they did," Zero smirked, if those hunters knew that they were considered stupid by his children, he wondered how they would react. His children nodded in agreement, not wanting to be like those people.
When they were done, they sat together in the living room, watching the news or whatever interesting in the television while discussing what they saw or simply enjoying it. Not long afterwards though, the two fell asleep.
"They were waiting for you all day when I told them you were going home," Misaki told him as she took Mizuki in her arms while he took Kazuki on his uninjured shoulder.
"Sorry," he realized that he couldn't be at home as often as he liked.
"Don't be. Besides, you always make sure to spend your free time with them," she assured him. He felt it was rather a scant exchange, but he made sure the children had their father during the weekends where he would play with them and teach them many things, including the basics of hunter training. His children were definitely the descendants of Kiryuu, added that they also inherited vampire abilities; they needed to be taught how to control their abilities since early age.
Although they knew that one of them might find a way to their twin's bed later, they still send them to sleep in each of their bedrooms. Kazuki was the first, since his room was the closest. Zero carefully pried his son's strong hold of him and tucked him under the covers which the little boy recognized as his own and immediately lay on his side beneath them. The way he slept really reflected the boy's wary character. Misaki gave a good night kiss on the boy's temple without releasing her daughter.
Mizuki was next. Her room was colored with soft pink while her brother's was of a more neutral blue white. Their daughter had quite a collection of dolls which decorated her room and her bed. Zero peeled off the covers while Misaki laid the little girl down who mumbled slightly in her sleep. Misaki gave her favorite teddy bear to hold on to before pulling the covers. Zero didn't fail to see the look on her eyes as she watched their little girl.
"She wouldn't have the kind of visions I have." He waited until she elaborated.
"Her visions are limited only to the near future where she or someone she knows is involved. It's the same with Kazuki."
"Though he doesn't see any visions," he observed quietly.
"It's more like forewarning that makes him able to react faster than reflexes or instinctively know what to do. Less obvious and less suspicious." Misaki gently caressed her child's face as she said this. It was a relief that their children didn't have to bear both of their parents' curses. He already had enough seeing how those visions could shake the strong woman and rob her of her sleep.
Once he was awoken by a distressed sound and found it came from his wife who was moving restlessly in her sleep. He needed to wake her up forcefully, in order to save her from the distress caused by the visions. He recalled how she trembled in his arms, only regulating her breathing, not saying a word, not shedding any tears. When it was over she only released herself from him, smiled and told him to return to sleep.
He pretended to take her word, but she didn't immediately follow his example. She was awake for a few moments, suppressing her emotions before finally drifted to uneasy sleep. He suspected that this happened pretty often, but he didn't know how she managed to keep this from him when they shared a bed. He felt truly powerless.
Then the subject of his musings stood up from the bed to leave the girl in peaceful sleep, he followed her, slightly let the door ajar like his daughter liked it. Wordlessly they walked back to their bedroom in companionable silence. He changed in the bathroom, not wanting her to see the wound he got on his left shoulder. When he got out from the bathroom, his wife was already in bed, writing something on a notebook that he recognized as the note she wrote on whenever she had an idea. She stopped though, when he climbed on the bed next to her.
"How violent… was the dispute?" That immediately made him tense. He knew that she wouldn't fail to notice his attempt to avoid into details of the dispute.
"Quite violent, compared to previous disputes," he told her half-truth. In the previous disputes, both sides managed to act civilly to each other, only the last dispute that they finally resorted to violence. Misaki looked at him, not taking his attempt not to make her worry. Instead she came close to him; her hand carefully gave slight pressure on his left shoulder, earning her a wince due to the unexpected action. Her eyes narrowed at his reaction.
"Let me see," she met his eyes, and he was unable to refuse. Carefully she released some of the buttons of his shirt and slid it down his left shoulder. She frowned at the sight of bandage that covered nearly all of his left shoulder and pried it off gently to see the extent of the injuries. A sharp intake of breath could be heard as her clear blue eyes saw the ugly wound on his shoulder. Zero had seen it when he dressed the wound himself.
"Vampires' brawl is one thing, but hunters' brawl is another." From her words, he already knew that Misaki had figured out what happened. Only hunters' weapons could cause such wound on him.
"It's because you followed my suggestion, isn't it?" She had suggested baiting the leaders of each faction to commit an error where they could be restrained by legal means, although with different reason that was not related with the dispute. Rousing their anger was one way, making them attack their leader was another step further. It seemed Zero took the further step.
"It's the best way. With their leaders under arrest in indefinite time, the others wouldn't dare to make a move. We'll only need to deal with the lesser ones. The matter can be solved before the ball."
He had made sure to let them keep their weapons without knowing that it was actually the way he wanted it. He also made sure to say the right words at the right time so it didn't appear that he was actually baiting them. He had made the preparations long before, waiting to reap what he sowed.
From the looks on their faces, they knew that they would only need the right trigger to finally react the way he wanted them to. The only slight miscalculation in his part was the number of people that took the bait. He managed to avoid casualties, but he nearly sacrificed his own people. Misaki was silent, knowing what went through his mind. He could feel her gentle touch on the wound that hovered down to his heart.
"It's too close," her voice was sad at the realization that few more inches below, it could get to his heart.
"It'll heal," Zero said softly. That was why he didn't want her to know, but he supposed it was his wishful thinking.
"Not as fast as you want. You need blood."
"I've taken blood tablets."
Firm but gentle hand took hold of his face, forcing him to look at his wife.
"You know what I mean," Misaki looked at him sternly. "You've been working under the sun for days and you're injured. Blood tablets won't be enough."
"It will be," he returned her gaze calmly.
"Is my blood that distasteful to you?" Misaki wondered sadly. After their reunion, and even after their marriage, he never came to her for her even when he seemed that he needed it. Neither for her blood nor for something else.
"No!" The outburst made her release her hold on his face in surprise. The last thing that he wanted was for her to think that way. He could see understanding dawned in her eyes, but the confusion was still there. He willed himself to calm down, taking few deep breaths. He didn't want to admit it, but it seemed the blood loss affected him. He would never snap at her like that. He threw his face to the side, not wanting her to see him this way, while keeping his distance to his wife.
"Then why?" Misaki's voice was sad, his sharp hearing caught the hurt underneath her tone, making him unconsciously gritted his teeth. "You know I'll be more than willing to give you my blood. You know I'll be fine." Misaki had told him what happened to her body after the incident.
"Will you…?" Those silver eyes that turned towards her were sharp and intense, briefly reminding her of the same look he had at that rainy day six years ago. When she felt him move towards her, his hand grabbed her arm and his warm breath close to her face, she couldn't help to instinctively tense up and shut her eyes, her heartbeat grew faster and her breath went erratic. She half-expected the pain, but there was nothing.
She could still sense him hovering near her, she still could feel his hold on her arm, but he didn't do anything. Slowly and hesitantly she opened her eyes, while trying to regulate her breathing and her heartbeat. When she found him, he was merely few inches away from her. The look etched in his features was one of extreme pain and anguish. And then she realized that she was the cause of that tormented look on his face.
"Oh," she gasped, her hand flew to her mouth when she realized her mistake. She shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have looked away. The guilt on her face must be obvious, because if it was possible, the sadness on his face became more pronounced.
"You're not fine, Misaki…" Zero said this sadly, shaking his head. "You're not…"
He had suspected this for quite a while, seeing how her hand instinctively went to her neck whenever she felt her neck was too exposed, how she preferred to wear clothes with hems that would cover her neck. The way her hand always went protectively to that certain spot where vampires prefer to drink from, where he had drunk from her before. It might be him, or it might be them that made her react that way, but he couldn't blame her.
She was a strong woman, but she couldn't be expected not to feel anything for what happened to her. It must have left a mark on her. It hurt; it hurt so much to see her reaction when he closed the gap between them, to see how she tensed up in unconscious fear despite the familiar presence of him. He had hurt her, it was obvious.
"Zero…" her eyes were wide in shame and guilt. She wasn't supposed to feel that way. It wasn't her fault. It was his.
Painfully he shook his head, telling her to stop to say whatever she wanted to say. He needed to stay away from her, getting to his feet abruptly.
"Zero, please!" But she didn't let him, she also stood up, her hand catching the fabric of his shirt. "Please just hear me out first!"
His face was turned away from her, but he could see the look in her face from the fearful tone in her voice, making him freeze in his tracks. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, she took a deep breath to calm herself, going through the right words to say.
"If it's like this, does that mean you won't drink fresh blood anymore?"
"Yes," he said this without the slightest hesitation. Hearing his answer, Misaki only shook her head exasperatedly.
"Zero, you're a vampire," she said softly, willing him to understand, "and you're a hunter. This might not be the last time when you'd be hurt by hunter's weapon. And knowing your identity as a vampire, do you think they won't try to hurt you again before you can recover?"
"I'll manage," he answered curtly, knowing that he was avoiding the question. Misaki pursed her lips.
"I'm afraid," she admitted softly, "I am." The confession tugged at his heart painfully.
"…But I'm more afraid of seeing you hurt," she poured all of her feelings to her voice, all of her fear and dread at thought of him getting hurt and she was left unable to do anything, just like her family. At the thought of her family, her voice shook slightly and her grip on his shirt unconsciously tightened. She struggled to compose herself.
She knew that he was wounded from time to time, his duties didn't make it possible for him to remain unscathed, but his vampire traits never failed him, whereas others could have died, he was only slightly injured. However, both of them knew that it wouldn't always be that way.
He might be the leader of the hunters, but it didn't change the fact that he was also a vampire among hunters. He was no different than a sheep among wolves. There was no guarantee that they wouldn't turn on him the moment they noticed any sign of weakness.
"Misaki…" Zero didn't fail to notice the diminutive changes in her voice, in her silence, in her gesture and he wanted nothing but to take her into his arms and comfort her. But at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to.
"It can't go on like this, Zero," she slowly closed the gap between them, loosing the grip on his shirt, slowly and carefully laying her hands against his back. She could feel the tension from the muscles on his back through the shirt. She could feel her heartbeat escalate as she dared to lean her forehead against him. She thought he would shrug her off, sensing how the muscles around the place where she rested her forehead seemed to twitch in reaction, but he remained still, unmoving.
She had never been this close to him, not counting that certain day that changed them both and their relationship. She found herself trying to memorize everything, from the heat of his body, the feel of his taut muscles underneath her fingertips, to the scent that was uniquely Zero. She felt herself slowly relaxing against him, inhaling the musky scent that she used to only catch a whiff of. Never Zero felt so real to her.
"I don't want you to suppress a part of you just because of me. I've always told you to accept your vampire side, and I'd be such a hypocrite if I made you reject that part of you."
Zero found himself unable to move his limbs or his tongue, the places where she touched him sent fire through his nerves and the words she said was breaking his resolve.
"…You're not a hypocrite," was the only thing he could utter.
"Then don't make me," was her reply, stern and challenging. At the tone of her voice, he instinctively turned towards her, finally meeting her blue eyes. The fear was still there, but there was also steadfast determination that told him that she wouldn't back down in this.
He could recall the same look with a certain dark-haired girl who reacted the same way to his refusal to drink her blood. Their images clashed against each other, dark-haired against light-haired, dark-eyed against light-eyed, and yet… they had the same look and the same reasoning.
For him.
He didn't understand why there were people who were willing to give so much to him when he couldn't give anything to them, let alone return the favor. He had nothing to give.
What did he do to deserve this?
He tried to swallow the lump that was suddenly in his throat. Slowly his mind was cleared and he started to see that there was no getting around this. He would eventually need fresh blood, not simply blood tablets. If he were to repress his bloodlust, who knew what would happen. He was still an ex-human vampire, a level D vampire, regardless of his level of power. He still had the chance of falling to level E, however small the chance was. And it was not the risk he was willing to take.
Misaki could see the change in his eyes and she was inwardly relieved that he would need no more persuasion from her part. All that was left was her.
"Are you sure?" he asked her, his silver eyes searching her blue eyes. She merely gave him a nod and a smile, fearing that if she was to speak, she would change her mind.
Carefully his hand reached out and shed her hair behind her neck. The reaction was instantaneous; she could see a glimpse of red in his eyes and a glimpse of fangs before he pulled back, hiding his face from her, not wanting to scare her. The reaction told him that he was restraining his need of blood vehemently.
The moment he shed away her golden hair, her alluring scent immediately overwhelmed his heightened senses. He became aware of the veins carrying rich blood in her neck. He needed blood badly, he realized, the injury didn't help.
He was still reminded of that night, and the nightmares that followed, although he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't want to hurt her; he didn't want her to hate him. He could see her hands on her sides were trembling. She was afraid, regardless of the strong front she gave him. However, she merely took a deep breath and closed her eyes, tilting her neck to expose her neck to him.
He wouldn't last this way, regardless how many tablets he took. He might end up taking her blood forcefully in his thirst as long as she was around him. He was a danger to her. He always knew that, but the thought never truly occurred with such blinding clarity until now. The ache was getting stronger; he knew it was no longer an option.
Slowly, he edged closer to her, giving her time to prepare herself. Her nervousness was evident, but she didn't move the slightest bit from her place after he started to approach her. Then before he realized it, he was already close enough to her.
"…I'm sorry," he whispered. She held her breath, bracing herself for the incoming pain. She faintly aware of his warm breath on her exposed skin before those sharp fangs pierced her skin. She winced at the pain, but didn't let out a cry. Instead she only held onto him for dear life, trying to focus on something else other than the bad memories invoked by the feeling of his fangs sinking into her skin.
When the rich blood came to his mouth, the first thing he tasted was fear and dread, coursing thickly in her blood. The taste of her blood reminded him of that night; the blood tasted the same, no, the blood that night was worse. But this time that bitter taste didn't last, slowly he could taste something else. He could sense her in her blood; he could feel her warmth and her understanding, her kindness and gentleness filling him.
Her blood tasted heavenly.
He hadn't drunk fresh blood for six years. He had suppressed his need for blood for a long time, and he couldn't deny the lure of it any longer. However, he kept tight reins on his control, not wanting to take more than he needed and not wanting to hurt her. He kept a firm but gentle hold on her so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable as he took her blood.
When his thirst was quenched, he carefully pulled out his fangs that slowly returned to their regular length, licking the remains of blood and stemming the blood flow from the wound, earning a shudder from his wife. When he released his mouth, he was surprised to see the wounds slowly closing. He laid his forehead on her shoulder in relief, glad that she truly gained the regenerative ability.
Misaki felt a little faint, but otherwise, she was fine, and she was truly glad that she was, seeing how relieved her husband was. She let out the breath she unconsciously held throughout the feeding session. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Zero had been very careful. She knew it wasn't easy for him. It took every ounce of his control not to take many gulps of fresh blood in his thirst. She carefully craned her neck slightly to get rid the stiffness and to see the condition of his wounded shoulder.
"It's healed," she was truly relieved to see the ugly wound, leaving smooth skin in its wake. The relief overpowered the fear she felt due to the blood taking, thinking that this was worth it. She lightly touched the skin on the shoulder, wanting to make sure that it was completely healed, unaware what the innocent gesture invoked. Suddenly she felt his hold on her tightened and she heard a low growl coming from the still-bent-figure of her husband that made her jump slightly in surprise.
"Zero?" Misaki frowned when she noticed that he was still trembling, breathing in short pants. She wondered whether he didn't get drink enough blood. "Do you… need more blood?" She was still afraid, but if it eased his pain, she thought she could deal with it.
He released his hold on her, and mutely shook his head, straightening up but still avoiding her eyes. He looked normal to her, so she wondered what made him look so ashamed. She tilted her head slightly in confusion, a habit that Zero silently found endearing. Unconsciously he raised his hand to touch the side of her face with the back of his fingers.
The gesture took her off guard; Zero rarely initiated any direct contact with her before. The farthest he went was to kiss her on the cheek whenever he left. Her first reaction was to shy away from the touch, feeling uncomfortable as she was reminded of that night again, but she refrained, forcing herself to stay still.
Zero didn't fail to notice this, his brows slightly furrowing together, his lips thinning into a grim line on his face. Being in such close proximity with his wife when his senses were particularly heightened hadn't been a good idea. He had been all too aware of the heat emanating of her body, the smoothness of her skin, the steady beat of her heart, the sound of her breathing, and the unique scent of her that completely overwhelmed his senses and awakened something else inside him.
He had wanted more than her blood.
And before he realized it, he had dared to touch her without her consent. However… seeing her reaction towards his action, noticing her discomfort… whatever feelings that were invoked was gone in an instant. Even before everything changed between them, they hadn't been the most intimate of people, barely initiating direct contact to each other. There were only two instances when they thoroughly and consciously broke the line they made. The first was when he was in dire need of blood. The second was when he broke down.
She had surprised him by wrapping her arms around his head in an effort not to get too intimate with him but at the same time wanting to be a comfort for him. It had been awkward for both of them, but it had been a great comfort for him; he hadn't been comforted like that for what it felt like a long time. Nobody had dared to breach the barrier he put around himself since Yuuki left… until she did, even only for that one time.
After that, they had grown comfortable enough around each other for them to let their hand linger on each other for a brief moment. In hindsight, they might take another step forward, if only he didn't destroy that chance by his own hands.
It had taken many visits, frequent long distance calls and long hours together spent in each other's company for them to regain the same comfort they previously had with each other. During the previous years, she was usually the one to initiate contact as he was rarely the one who sought it, although he was usually the one who needed it more. In the time after, she was still the one who reached out first, but never let him linger whenever he initiated the contact, which was a rare occurrence, because he himself didn't dare to touch her after what he had done, so he failed to notice this at first.
But now…
He felt incredibly stupid and ashamed for overlooking this, for easily assuming that everything was fine between them once she accepted his proposal of marriage. He could have bet everything he had that the only reason she let him hold her throughout the blood taking session was simply because she needed something to lean on, not because she wanted to. She had always been the one who took the initiative between them; it was about time for their roles to be reversed.
Slowly and carefully, his arms wound around her slim figure and pulled her flush to his chest. Although he couldn't see her face, but the way she stiffly held herself against him spoke volumes. At least, she didn't push him away, although he wondered whether it was because she didn't mind that much or she simply was able to hide her discomfort that well.
"Zero?" her confusion was clear in her voice.
"…I just want to stay like this for a while," he answered quietly, glad that she couldn't see his face. He didn't know how to explain his reasoning for doing this and he didn't want to. Fortunately, it seemed that the answer was good enough for her, so she remained quiet in his arms until he decided to release her, for which he was truly grateful.
It took several minutes until she finally relaxed against him, although not completely, he could still notice the slight tension in her muscles, ready to spring anytime at the slightest provocation.
It was enough, he thought. It was enough for a start.
He was willing to wait, no matter how long it would take.
So... they haven't had their wedding night. Some of you probably groan or protest, but the thing is, what Zero has done to Misaki was wrong. Not only has he broken her trust, he hurt her. There's nothing nice or romantic about it. And it is not something that can be gotten over easily. Before that night, they were only friends, and not the most tactile ones, this doesn't change much as they become more. The emotional part comes rather easily to them, but the same cannot be said the physical part (not to mention they were rarely in the presence of each other in prolonged time with the children and secrecy). Review?