A/N: Special thanks to GunsFallSilent, Allgirlstreehouse, guest, and another guest. Again, I've kind of censored the *shudders* lemon, as, one, I'm finicky about ratings, and don't want this to be M, and two, it was so awful it made my eyes burn. I don't think my poor fingers can take typing out that three-sentence *cringes* thing. I have decided not to censor Dumbledore's epic line of absolute epicness, simply for the reason that the line is practically the only line that didn't leave me cringing. Ooh, I've just remembered, see my homepage for disclaimer. Also, first kiss/romantic scene I've ever written, so feel free to tell me if it sucks.

Chapter 4

In Which Dumbledore is Epic

Ariana walked briskly to the podium, hardly daring to look up. Would her students come again? Would they take care not to create – accidentally or otherwise – a Sue? Would they arm themselves with the best of Sue destroying knowledge, and continue the war against the Sues that were invading the lands of Fanfiction, Canon, and Fanon alike?

Tentatively, she looked up. They had come. Ariana breathed a sigh of relief, gathering her wits and preparing her speech.

"Good evening, class. This time we shall work on rewriting the fourth chapter of My Immortal. This chapter is the first of Tara's, ahem, 'lemons', needless to say we shall work on that. Another important issue to address in this chapter is the severely out of character Dumbledore. While absolutely hilarious, Dumbledore's conduct in this chapter is neither canon Dumbledore, nor Fanon. Tara created a new Dumbledore, unleashing even more chaos in the already unstable land of Fanfiction.

Now we shall go on to the A/N. As we noted in the last lesson, the Author's Notes are already beginning their steady descent into utter idiocy. This one begins their awful decline, with Tara vehemently defending her twisted reality, adding new details to the story without actually putting them in the story, which is very bad author conduct, unless it is to inform the readers of a timeline change, or that a character that died in Canon is alive in their Fanfiction. Here is the original:"

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"Filled with typos, insulting the readers, nonsensical reasoning, bad grammar. In other words, the very epitome of a badfic. We shall correct the grammar and spelling, rid the poor thing of awful writing, and correct the general god awfulness of it. Here is the rewritten version:"

Chapter 4

A/N: To all the flamers, Ebony is (hopefully) not a mary sue. Draco does not act normally around her because he is in love and cannot approach her without fear of her rejecting him. Thus, the reason he is OOC.

"On to the next part of our lesson, the plot. The Original's plot was basically to have Draco and Ebony cement their romantic relationship, and to have them get in trouble for their relationship for the first time. The Rewritten shall stay much the same, excluding the 'lemon' and them getting in trouble. Draco shall, instead of having sex with her, kiss her, because, as previously stated, he is afraid of rejection.

Here is the original chapter:"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the **** do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the ****ing hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN DEEMED UNFIT FOR HUMAN EYES. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, ANYWAY.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was… Dumbledore!

"We shall rewrite it, keeping in mind the previous rewritten chapters and the significant plot changes, which gives us this:"

The Three Broomsticks was almost completely empty by the time Draco and I finished our last Butterbeers. It had progressed to snowing outside, mixing with the layer of slush that was already on the frozen earth.

Draco put the money – six Galleons – on the table, just by the ample pile of Butterbeer bottles. We hadn't paid attention to the time, talking well past midnight. It was about one thirty now.

We bid a sleepy Madam Rosmerta goodnight, shrugged on our coats, and ventured into the freezing snow.

I hurried to the gates of Hogwarts, keeping my head down against the heavy gusts of wind that were now blowing with – pun absolutely intended – gusto.

We pushed open the doors to the Great Hall with as much enthusiasm as a wet cucumber, tired after staying out so late.

"So," said Draco, "did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I bet that was one of the only times I'll get to see the Harpies in person! I can't get to a lot of their games, because, well, you know…" I broke off, slightly ashamed that I had said so much.

Draco smiled. He looked, at least to me, rather handsome with frozen clothes, dripping wet hair, and humongous bags under his eyes…. Nah, who am I kidding? He looked awful.

He leaned in closer, our faces almost touching. I blushed. Then, he kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss…

"Ahem."

We broke apart. Oh, sweet Merlin. It was Dumbledore.

He smiled that annoying grandfather oh-you-naughty-children smile.

"I do believe it is getting very late, Mr. Malfoy and Miss Way, you would do well to get yourselves to bed."

I would have turned pink, had there been any blood in my veins. Draco nodded.

"Yes sir, we were just getting to our common room, sir, we'll be on our way now," he said.

We hurried to our common room, not speaking. Draco looked sullen, wearing a scowl that was, I must admit, positively adorable.

Don't tell anyone I said that.

"Thisconcludestherewriteofchapterthree," Ariana babbled, running out the door.

A/N: *makes puppy dog eyes* Pwease tell me how the kiss scene was, pwease?