A/N: Special thanks to GunsFallSilent and Guest! Remember how I said I would update Wednesdays and Sundays? Yes, well, I lied. Tara is really getting to me, so I've decided to do a My Immortal Commentary. It is going up on Sunday, and from now on this shall only get Wednesday updates, while the Commentary shall get Sunday updates.

Chapter 5

Can't Think of a Chapter Title for This One

Ariana was already at the podium when the class started, for once. The students, her regulars and some new students, who would hopefully stay for the lessons to come, wandered in gradually, filling almost the first three rows. She silently counted down the seconds until the class began.

She cleared her throat.

"Good evening, class. Today we shall be rewriting chapter five of My Immortal. In this chapter you shall notice how negligent the staff are. We shall correct this in due time."

She looked down at her notes, then continued, "As there are no major issues with this chapter, we shall begin the A/N rewrite. Here is the original:"

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! If u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating until I get five good revoiws

"Terrible spelling and grammar, and once again Tara refuses to acknowledge that there may be flaws with her writing. Here is the rewritten version:"

Chapter 5

A/N: Please stop flaming. If you do you are either incredibly insensitive to the author's feelings, or are just spreading hate. I'm not updating again until I get five more reviews!

"Now we shall move on to the second part of our lesson, the plot. In the original the main plot points were to, one, have the confrontation with the Professors, and two, to have Draco comfort her. In the rewrite, we shall change the Professor confrontation to Willow being angry at her friend for staying out late with a former Death Eater, and not informing anyone. We shall not have Draco comfort her because we know for a fact that boys cannot enter the girl's dormitories in Gryffindor, so we can safely assume that there is something similar in place with the other Houses.

Finally, the rewrite. Here is the original:"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor Mcgonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Mcgonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor Mcgonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace around it and black high heels. When I came out…

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back to his room.

"As I mentioned earlier in this lesson, in this chapter the staff are completely negligent. They had just let two students who were in trouble for having sex go to their rooms without supervision, resulting in one of them sneaking into the other's dormitory. We shall, of course, correct this. We shall now rewrite this chapter, keeping in mind the plot changes already made to the story in previous lessons, and the changes discussed in this. Here is the rewrite:"

I said goodnight to Draco, leaving him at the foot of the stairs leading to the girl's dorms. I was half way up them when I remembered.

I had promised Willow to be back by midnight. What would she be thinking? She must be out of her mind with worry. Although Draco had been forced to take the Dark Mark, he had still been a Death Eater. Willow had made me promise, again and again, to not stay out to late or go anywhere with Draco without telling someone.

And here I was, at two in the morning, having chatted to Draco and drank Butterbeer all evening without thinking to Floo her or tell her anything about our plans.

I put my hand on the door to our shared dorm, then hesitated. I knocked timidly, dreading the vicious tongue-lashing that awaited me on the other side. Hearing no reply, I opened the door carefully, hoping, despite what my gut told me, that Willow was asleep.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!"

No such luck for me, then.

"YOU STAYED OUT PRACTICALLY ALL NIGHT WITHOUT TELLING ME! HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT, WAITING HERE, KNOWING THAT YOUR BODY COULD BE LAYING IN KNOCKTURN ALLEY, NOT TO BE DISCOVERED UNTIL THE MORNING! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN LAYING DRUNK IN THE SHRIEKING SHACK FOR ALL I KNEW!"

Willow stopped, at last, to draw breath. I seized the chance.

"We never left the Three Broomsticks, Willow, Madam Rosmerta was watching us."

Willow turned a deeply unpleasant shade of puce. I honestly thought that she was going to pass out. She deflated, slowly returning to her usual pale color.

She let out a sigh. "Fine," she said, "but don't think for one second that I'm going to let you get away with this."

"In fact, you, young lady, are grounded!" she finished triumphantly.

I was stunned.

"But… but… you can't…" I stuttered.

"I most certainly can!" said Willow.

"Oh, fine," I said. I was too tired to argue. I threw on my pajamas and slipped into a deep sleep.

"This concludes the rewrite of chapter five," said Ariana.

She took a deep breath. This time she would walk out the door like a civilized person….. she would….. Ariana turned and bolted for the exit.

A/N: Review, pwease? Pwease? See, I want weviews so badwy dat I'm wisping…. Pwease weview…..