A/N: Special thanks to….. um… darn. I've forgotten who's reviewed. I'm going to take a wild guess…. GunsFallSilent and Guest? Well, if you reviewed, thanks! There is mild language in this chapter.s
Ariana was at the podium when class started, again. She watched the students trickle in, filling up several of the front rows.
She shuffled her notes, watching the clock carefully.
"Good evening, class. Today we shall be rewriting chapter six of My Immortal. There is only on major issue with this chapter, the bastardization of Harry Potter. She not only moved him from Gryffindor to Slytherin, but her excuse for this is that now he is a goth, and all goths are in Slytherin.
Moving characters to different houses is fine, so long as they are put in a different House from their Canon counterparts during their Sorting. For example, Hermione never finds out about Dumbledore being in Gryffindor, or was bullied by a Gryffindor student during the train ride, and as a result, is in Ravenclaw. Or perhaps Hagrid never tells Harry that Slytherin is a bad House, or Draco never confronts him on the train, leading him to be placed in Slytherin.
However, moving Houses during their school years is unacceptable.
As there are no more major points to discuss in this chapter, we shall move on to the A/N. Here is the original:"
Chapter 6.
AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
"We will correct grammar and spelling errors, rewriting it into a respectable A/N asking a flamer to leave her be. Here is the rewrite:"
Chapter 6
A/N: Please stop flaming, or I will report you. I won't update until I get some more reviews!
"Now we shall move on to the second part of the lesson, the plot. In the original, the major plot points were to one, introduce Harry, and two, to have Ebony strike up a friendship with him. In the rewrite, we shall change this to Ebony striking up a friendship with a girl in her House that she has no previous connection to, Daphne Greengrass. She shall first begin interacting on a regular basis when Daphne approaches her and asks for tutoring in Herbology, a subject Ebony excels in.
Now the last part of the lesson, the rewrite. Here is the original chapter:"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula with blood instead of milk and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying that when I looked up cause I was looking into the face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.
"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.
"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I like the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared.
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
"Now we shall rewrite the chapter, keeping in mind the changes already made to the story, as well as the changes discussed in this lesson. Here is the rewritten version:"
I was woken up the next day with the usual pillow/sneaker arrangement. With a groan I remembered the previous night's argument. I bet Willow would give me the Silent Treatment until she considered me punished enough.
I looked around the room, Willow had evidently fled downstairs to the showers, and the curtains were closed, meaning that the sun had come back out. I grabbed a few things, and went to the showers myself.
Once out of the showers, I dried my hair using a Drying Charm, and put on my sadly boring uniform. I squinted into the mirror, and noticed with no small amount of dismay that I would need to get my highlights redone soon.
Willow hadn't waited for me, so I went up to the Great Hall, silently cursing whatever deity was listening that I hadn't remembered to tell her that I would be staying out late. I sat down next to Willow, who was stubbornly ignoring me, and my usual cup of blood (animal blood, contrary to popular belief) appeared in front of me, courtesy of the Hogwarts House Elves.
I was just finishing my breakfast, when, to my utter dismay, Daphne Greengrass tripped over the leg of the bench, and landed unceremoniously in my lap, spilling the remaining blood all over us both.
"Bitch!" I shrieked.
Then I remembered who I was talking to.
I gulped. Her eyes – those freezing eyes that had given rise to her infamous nickname – turned to look at me.
"Would you care to repeat that, Way?" she asked, her voice dangerously soft.
In my infinite stupidi- er, wisdom, I decided to reply.
"Bitch," I repeated, my voice louder than I meant it to be.
The entire table turned to look at me.
Oops.
Greengrass clambered upright. She took out her wand. I honestly though that she was going to hex me, until she pointed her wand at the blossoming red stain on the front of her robes, and muttered "Scourgify". I breathed a sigh of relief, fumbling with my wand in an attempt to do the same.
I dropped my wand, probably doing a credible impression of Lockhart's general expression.
Greengrass rolled her eyes, pointing her wand at the stain on my robes and cleaning them with a flick of her hand.
I muttered a grudging "thanks" before diving under the table to try and drown myself. Or recover my wand. Whatever works.
When I emerged from the dark depths of underneath the Slytherin table, I discovered that Greengrass had not left, and was sitting in the empty seat beside me.
"So," she said, looking not unlike a Hippogriff," I need help with Herbology."
She looked disgusted by the thought.
"Why not ask Longbottom, then?" I said grumpily.
"I can't ask a Gryffindor for help!" she snapped, "and, as much as I am loathe to admit, you're just as good as he."
"So?" I asked, dreading her reply.
"Will you – ah, tutor me in the subject?" she choked out, not looking at all pleased.
"I guess," I said, then instantly regretted it when the implications of such an arrangement sank in. But by the time I had worked it out, Greengrass had up and left.
I cursed – silently this time.
Of all the people, why her?
Ariana took a deep breath. The students tensed, waiting for her to dash to the door.
"This concludes the rewrite of chapter six," she said.
Thirty seconds later, the students realized she wasn't going to run, and gradually left, until Ariana was left in the middle of the empty auditorium.
She bolted for the door.
A/N: Review! Please? Please? *pokes readers* Review?s