Thank you all so much for the kind reviews and comments. I was surprised at how many people really didn't like Kristina! Here is the end of the story - hope you enjoy.
When he woke up the next day he was feeling much better. At some point he'd come to realize that he had to learn to deal with reminders of his past. Just because he'd decided to more forward, with Teresa and his new life, didn't mean that there wouldn't be things that would come up from the Red John days. He had to learn to deal with it.
And then there was the fact that Kristina hadn't deserved any of this, and it wouldn't be right to just ignore her now.
"I need to go back and see her," he said as he and Teresa were eating breakfast.
"Yes, I think you do too. I can come with you."
"You don't need to do that," he said. "You need to take it easy."
"Jane I'm pregnant, not sick." She regarded him carefully. "Do you want me to go with you?"
He stopped, the fork with eggs held halfway to his mouth, and sighed. "I'd very much like you to come," he told her, thinking back to another time and place.
"Then I'll come," she answered with a slight smile, also remembering the time when he'd been there for her. After breakfast was over they put their jackets on and headed for the car. She put her arm through his and they walked together.
Once inside the car Jane helped her with her seatbelt since it was getting harder for her to twist around. After he was finished he leaned over and kissed her. "I love you, you know."
She reached up and took his hand. "I know. And I love you and you have nothing to worry about. He's dead," she said, refusing to say his name, "and he can't hurt you again. And Kristina will be okay. The doctors will help her."
"I know," he said, looking at her seriously. "And I realized that I have to be able to deal with things like this. I mean, things that come up from – before. I just have to keep telling myself that my life is different now."
"Yes, it is," Teresa agreed. "And you're not alone – you have me and our friends."
"I do," he agreed. "And it dawned on me that Kristina really doesn't have that so -"
"It wouldn't be fair to just leave her," Teresa nodded. "I know. There must be someone out there who cares about her though. It would be too sad to think she didn't have anyone."
"We'll ask her."
"You know this isn't your fault, right?" his wife asked astutely. "You can't take this one on. We'll do what we can to help her, but it's not up to you to try and fix everything for her."
He nodded his head and reached down and started the car. Before moving, however, he turned once more to the woman he loved more than anything else in this world. "Don't worry. You and our baby are what's most important to me now, and I won't ever forget that."
They arrived at the care facility a few minutes later. This time the receptionist was ready and called the doctor and soon as they showed up. Dr. Samrah arrived almost instantly.
"Mr. Jane, thank you for coming. And this is -?" He frowned a little when he saw Teresa.
"My wife, Teresa," Jane answered. "She knows Kristina too."
"Nice to meet you," he said, although he looked somewhat concerned. "Uh, come on and I'll tell you what's transpired since yesterday."
They went to the same nondescript conference room that Jane had been in yesterday. After sitting down the doctor wasted no time in filling them in.
"As you saw, Ms. Frye grew quite agitated when you began to tell her what had happened. Eventually we gave her a sedative and she slept. After she woke up, she was much calmer and more willing to listen. It quickly became apparent that she was starting to remember some of what happened."
"What did she say?" Patrick asked.
"She informed us that she remembers being taken by Red John. He lured her out of her home by pretending to want to "turn himself around."
"And she believed him?" Teresa exclaimed incredulously. "How could she have been so naïve?"
"She wanted to be proved right," Patrick said quietly.
"Yes, Kristina said something similar," the doctor agreed. "It's also something she said she regretted. She indicated that you had tried to stop her, just as you told me yesterday."
"What else does she remember?" Patrick asked, not wanting to think about his warnings to her.
"Not much else. She said that when she met with Red John and realized his intent, she tried to get away, but he managed to subdue her and drug her. After that, she said, he kept her pretty drugged up and she finds it hard to separate what was real and what were drug induced hallucinations."
"Poor woman," Jane said, sounding sad although he smiled gratefully when Teresa took his hand. "Does she know how long it's been?"
Samrah slowly blew out a breath of air and then nodded. "That was difficult, but yes, I told her."
"How did she react?" Teresa wanted to know.
"At first she denied it, but I think deep inside she already knew. After a few seconds she actually laughed. She said she understood now why you looked different. She then demanded to see a mirror."
Teresa grimaced. "How did that go?"
"She was pretty upset, although she insisted that someone bring her a brush. She's also demanded to go and get her hair cut and styled." The doctor gave a lopsided smile. "That's a good sign. But it is going to be difficult for her. She's lost years of her life that she needs to reestablish. One of the things she did do was ask us to contact a close friend of her. The woman is flying in tomorrow, which seemed to make Kristina feel better."
"So she does have someone," Teresa said with relief. "I'm glad she's not alone."
"No – this woman – Miriam - seemed to be extremely happy to hear she was better. She's invited Kristina to come and stay with her for as long as she wants. That seemed to relieve her mind greatly."
"That's good," Jane breathed out in relief. He wasn't going to say anything, at least not to the doctor, but a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He now did not have to feel responsible for her. "You said she wanted to see me?"
"Yes she did. She's in the garden, waiting to see you." He paused, looking terribly uncomfortable. "Uhm – I'm not sure about Mrs. Jane-" he looked apologetically at Teresa. "I'm afraid it might be too overwhelming for her and in could be stressful for you," he said, looking at her stomach. "Would you mind waiting in here while your husband talks to her?"
"That's fine, as long as Patrick is okay with that?" She looked to him with the question in her eyes. "This is hard on my husband, and I want to be there for him."
"It's okay Teresa," Jane said. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," she told him bluntly. "This is bringing back all sorts of memories."
"Your wife is right Mr. Jane," the doctor said. "And I'm sorry to have asked you to return, but I do think it's important for Kristina – and probably for you as well."
Yup, thought Jane – there's the psychiatrist coming out. The man couldn't resist trying to fix him as well as Kristina. He sighed and stood up. "I'll be just fine," he said again. He leaned over and gave Teresa a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'm okay, really," he whispered. "Just take care of junior."
She reached her hand up and cupped it around Jane's face and looked deeply into his eyes. What she saw must have satisfied her, because she gave a short nod. "I'll leave you for a little while and then I'm coming to get you," she told him, leaving no room for argument.
At that he grinned and looked at the doctor. "She's used to watching out for me," he said.
The doctor smiled but didn't comment, seeming to know when to stay out of marital discussions.
"I'll take you to the garden now," was all he said. "Mrs. Jane, would you like to come with me? I'll show you the lounge where you can relax and get yourself something to drink."
Patrick made his way slowly across the green lawn. He took a deep breath of the sweat smelling air, which also helped to calm his slightly jumpy nerves. He could see Kristina sitting on a bench a short way away. She was looking up at the sky and had a slight smile on her face.
"Kristina," he said as he approached the bench. She immediately dropped her head and swiveled to look at him.
"Patrick." The usual big smile erupted on her face and she patted the bench beside him. "I'm glad you came."
"You're looking better today," he said, and he meant it. She'd fixed her hair and was dressed in something much more flattering. She still looked tired, but much closer to the woman he'd known than she had yesterday.
She grimaced slightly. "I can hardly wait to go to the salon to get my hair done. I also need some new clothes. I'm sure these are already out of fashion," she touched the her skirt.
"I wouldn't know," he grinned. "I wore the same suits for twelve years," he said, subtly reminding her that he too had lost years of his life to a sadistic killer.
"Yes, you did, didn't you," she answered quietly, her face becoming serious. "But it looks like you have some new clothes now," she indicated his more casual pants. It had taken a while for Teresa to convince him to buy new clothes, and they still felt funny, but he decided that wearing suits with a small child wasn't going to be feasible anyway.
"Yes, my wife made me buy them," he said, watching for her reaction closely.
He could see the instant look of regret and sadness on her face, but she did a good job of covering that up. Instead she made herself look pleased for him.
"Congratulations Patrick, I'm happy for you."
"Thank you," he smiled.
"You finally got some practice dating, did you?" she grinned.
He laughed, although he could still feel a twinge of discomfort after all these years. "Yes – finally. I'm sorry that you had to deal with -"
"With what? The fact that you were still grieving for your wife? There's no need to apologize for that. You were charming in spite of the fact that you were a bit rusty. In fact, if I hadn't spent the last eight years thinking I was dead, I might have kept trying until you were ready to move on."
Now he really did feel uncomfortable. He opened his mouth, but didn't quite know what to say. He was saved by Kristina's laugh.
"Don't worry Patrick – I didn't ask you here because I was trying to catch you. I know you've gone on with your life, and I am truly happy for you. And my focus now has to be on getting myself back into living."
"I'm sorry for what happened to you Kristina," he said gently. "No one – least of all someone as good as you – deserved to have this happen."
"I guess we were in the same boat Patrick – both of us victims of a madman. But if you were able to move on, after what happened to you – then I know I can too."
"I know you can," he said, reaching out and giving her hand a squeeze. "And we'll do whatever we can to help."
"Thank you – but you need to lead your own life now. And I'm sure your wife doesn't need me hanging around. But you can do one thing for me."
"Of course."
"Tell me what happened. What happened to Red John? You said he was dead – are you sure?" She started to sound somewhat panicked and he understood. She'd probably live with the fear of him coming back for her for years. He knew he had.
"Yes, he's dead," he told her. "I know because I killed him."
"And you're sure it was him?"
"Oh yes. I managed to narrow it down to just a few men. It took me years, but I did it. In the end I found out who he was – and he admitted it to me. He mocked me and was going to kill me but -"
"But you turned the tables on him?" she smiled. "That's the Patrick Jane I know!"
He snorted but then agreed. "Yes – well, I found out he was afraid of pigeons."
"He was afraid of pigeons? And that's how you killed him?"
"Not with pigeons, no, although that would have been a fitting end. No, the bird distracted him so that I was able to get to my gun."
"You shot him?"
"No – well yes, I did, but that didn't kill him – it just wounded him. In the end I – listen Kristina, he's really dead, I promise.I made sure of it."
She regarded him closely for a few seconds and then seemed to relax. "Thank you," she sighed. "May he rot in hell."
Jane continued to watch her, and was pleased to note that she was getting some color in her cheeks and was looking less – haunted – than a minute ago. Now she just looked angry. She was still dealing with the fact that Red John had stolen so many years of her life. He'd been through the same thing – but he'd had two years on a tropical island to deal with those feelings. And he had Teresa to thank for helping him move on – her and Dennis and Cho and the others. And now there was a child on the way - real incentive to move on.
"Did you get in trouble for killing him?" she suddenly asked.
"Uh – I left the country for a couple of years until the FBI offered me a pardon in return for working for them. So then I came back."
"You're with the FBI?" she asked, sounding shocked.
"Yes – part-time now. I may end up quitting soon. I'm not sure."
"I – see. Wow – things have certainly changed. "And your team?"
"They're all fine. Cho is moving up the ranks of the FBI – he got hired there as well. Grace and Rigsby – Wayne Rigsby, the big guy?"
"Oh yes, I remember. What about them?"
"They're married and have a couple of kids. They left the CBI – which has since been dissolved by the way – got married and started their own business."
"And Madeleine Hightower? Teresa Lisbon?"
"Madeleine got out of law enforcement. Red John went after her and she had to hide for a couple of years. Now that she's safe, she's started a security business. She's doing well."
"Teresa?"
He smiled – he couldn't help it. "She's doing well – really well. She works for the FBI."
"With you?"
"Yes."
She laughed. "So things haven't changed that much."
"No – except that I was able to leave things behind and move forward, and you will too."
"And you're happy?"
He nodded. "Yes, very happy."
"I'm glad." She reached out and gently touched his thigh, but only briefly. She then turned and looked off into the trees and sat quietly, not saying anything for a few minutes. She eventually turned back to him and took a long, slow breath.
"What about your gift Patrick? Have you reclaimed that."
"Kristina!" he frowned. "Please – that's something I dealt with a long, long time ago. I'm not psychic."
"Patrick, I've watched you – others watch you – and what you have is a gift. I understand how you reacted after you lost your family, but don't you think it's time you moved on from that and admitted it to yourself. You could do so much good with it."
He sighed and bent his head, trying to think of the best way to deal with this. Finally he straightened his shoulders and spoke directly to this woman – who had at one time both repelled and attracted him. Now he just felt sympathy for her.
"I have a gift, yes, I'll admit that. But Kristina, there are those people who have the gift of music or art. Grace and Wylie – you don't know him – are gifted with technology. They can do things with computers, things that the rest of us can't and I would never say their gift is spiritual, just because I can't figure out how they do it. All of us have gifts. My gift is that I can read people really well. I notice small details, things others don't see. This was something I could do even when I was young and over the years I honed those skills. And then I added trickery and manipulation and mind games to make it seem like I was in touch with the other world, with people who had died or that I could read the future."
Kristina looked as if she was going to speak, so Jane continued. "I am not psychic and never have been and I don't believe you are either. I think you have a gift of reading things, people, like I do. I will give you the benefit of the doubt that, for the most part, you wanted to help people. I think you're a good person, but I do not believe you are in touch with the dead."
She sat quietly for a few seconds and then looked at him and smiled. "Patrick, you and I will never agree on this. You see your gift as simply "observing things" – but I believe it's more than that. But whatever it is, I'm happy that you're using it now to help people. You're a good man and you deserve to have a good life."
"Thank you Kristina – and so do you. Just be careful! Remember, you're not invincible."
"No – I – learned that lesson," she agreed softly. "Patrick, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm staying with a close friend for a while and then I have to discover what to do with my life. But I can assure you, whatever it is, I am going to be happy and I'm going to try and do some good. I'm going to take your example. I'm not going to let that bastard destroy my life!
"Good for you," he told her. "And you know, if you even need anything, you can always call." Just then Patrick glanced up and saw Teresa walking towards them. She went slowly, her balance a bit off with her expanded waist.
"You married Teresa Lisbon," Kristina said, surprise in her voice. A moment later she chuckled. "I should have realized. There always was something between the two of you."
"She was a good friend, who was always there for me," Patrick said, standing up to go help wife. "And then she became more than that."
"Patrick," Kristina reached out and took his hand in her arm to stop him. "I know you don't believe but – Angela and your daughter – they're both happy that you're okay now. They're at peace – so you can let go of any remaining guilt you have. Just – enjoy your life and your family and know that they are glad for you."
He regarded her seriously and then he relaxed and smiled. "Thank you," was all he said. With that he turned and walked towards his wife. Kristina called softly after him.
"I hope you were a bit more relaxed with her on your first date than you were with me," Kristina teased.
He glanced back at her with a slightly embarrassed look. "Actually, I was nervous as hell – but as you can see, it all worked out." He turned and reached for Teresa and put his arm around her. "Hello love."
"Jane," she looked at him searchingly. "Everything okay?"
"Everything's great," he smiled and kissed her. "Come and say hello to Kristina."