I am so sorry.

But hey, tell me what you think. :)

Disclaimer: Praise be to Shonda and ABC. I own nothing.

Chapter 9

Amy couldn't sit still. She paced back and forth in the waiting room of the ER, trying to piece back together the past few hours. They weren't telling her as much as she wanted to know: they'd taken her for CTs; she could have internal bleeding; something was wrong with her head; maybe it was her lungs. Getting information out of them had been nearly impossible, but they didn't know what was wrong yet, and neither did Amelia.

She couldn't see her.

Was she in surgery? Would they tell her? Would they tell her if things started going south? Or would they forget she was out here? She should go back in the ER. They couldn't technically stop her – she worked there, after all. Please be okay, please be okay, she pleaded to herself as she paced.

Amelia heard her pager from the bathroom; she wrapped her wet hair in a towel and pulled her robe tight around her to walk into Arizona's bedroom. Just as she picked up the beeping black box, her cell phone started ringing. Oh God, she groaned to herself. So much for a day off.

She picked up the phone without checking to see who it was.

She felt a hand settle gently on her shoulder. "Amelia," its owner said softly. The voice belonged to Maggie Pierce. She led Amy to a seat. A cup was pushed into her hands; Amy took a sip. Water. To calm her down. Amelia couldn't calm down; she looked Maggie dead in the eye.

"Tell me," Amy demanded. "I need you to tell me what's happening."

Maggie sighed, setting a hand gently on her knee. "They're taking her back to surgery right now. We have two major concerns. First they want to take care of her brain bleed and get that under control. After that, she has several broken ribs, and one of them punctured her lung. There's also still some water in her lungs that we're worried about. Meredith has some other concerns, but they won't know until they get in there, because the water in her body obscured the scans. But if she remains stable, they'll do all they can in this one surgery."

Amelia nodded, standing up "I need to be in there."

"What?" Maggie's voice was incredulous, "Amelia you can't. It's a conflict of interest."

"Her brain is bleeding, Dr. Pierce. I'm the woman for the job." Maggie shook her head. "Maggie, please," Amelia began to beg, a new wave of fear washing through her body. "Maggie she can't die, I can't let her die. I have to be in there. She needs me. Please," Amy's eyes welled with tears.

"Absolutely not," the woman said decidedly. "I'm sorry Amelia, but because of your relationship, we can't allow your emotions to get the best of you. We love her too. We'll take good care of her, I promise."

Amy looked at Maggie with pleading eyes as she turned to leave. She needed to be in there. She needed to save her.

"Can I watch?"

Maggie turned and looked at her, sympathy filling her dark eyes. After a moment, she nodded. "In the gallery," she said quietly. "But don't tell them I said you could."

"Hello," she said gruffly into the receiver.

"Amelia, you need to come to the hospital." It was Meredith, her voice demanding but quiet.

"Mer, it's my day off –" she began to protest, but Meredith cut her off.

"Amelia, they just brought Arizona in an ambulance. Hurry."

Amelia sprinted through the halls. She had to get to OR 3. Interns and residents stared, whispered to one another as she passed. She paid them no mind – she was almost there. She turned on more corner, pushing through the door with her shoulder without stopping.

The gallery was full. If an attending wasn't operating on Arizona, they were watching. She noticed Alex Karev, Maggie Pierce, Jackson Avery – Jo was even there beside Alex, as were a handful of other residents and interns that Amelia didn't know. They were all worried about their friend. About her girlfriend. They all know now, she thought fleetingly as she passed. She walked up to the glass, the room going silent behind her as she took stock of the scene below.

There Arizona was, unconscious on a table that she'd worked over so many times. They had her anesthetized already; Edwards stood at her head, with Dr. Garrison, another attending neurosurgeon, supervising beside her. April Kepner and Meredith stood on either side of Arizona's body, waiting for their turn to piece their friend back together. Amelia watched, body stiff and terrified as Edwards made the first cut – just like I taught her – and began to work.

The speakers were off in the gallery; Garrison said something to Edwards and she nodded, continuing to work.

Tears sprung to Amy's eyes; she'd taught Edward's well, but she'd better not mess this up.

The door opened again. Amy heard footsteps, but she didn't look. She was frozen in place, watching.

"Dr. Shepherd! Who let you come in here?" Bailey barked from behind her. Amy didn't respond; she didn't move.

"Amelia, you need to leave," Dr. Webber said more gently. "We'll tell you when we know anything." The two of them stood just behind Amy, but Webber closed the distance and took a step forward, setting a hand on Amelia's shoulder.

Amy reacted swiftly and violently. She tore her body away from him, "No! I need to be down there! I should be performing this surgery!" She spat. "I'm not leaving. I need to – I have to – I just can't –" She started to break down, the tears she'd kept trapped in her eyes spilling out onto her cheeks, but she just turned back to the glass, blinking through her tears. She heard Owen's low voice rumbling behind her; he told Bailey to let her be, she assumed. She wondered momentarily when he had arrived. That didn't matter though, because she wasn't going to leave, no matter what any of them said to her. Bailey scolded the doctors already in the room for allowing her in the gallery to begin with. The other's settled down to watch, leaving Amelia alone at the glass, tears still pouring from her eyes as she watched her friends try to save her favorite part of her life.

Amelia sped through the hospital, going in through the pit instead of the visitor entrance. It didn't take her long to find them; Dr. Kepner, Dr. Grey, Dr. Torres, and Dr. Pierce had her in a trauma room with two interns. She looked so pale – almost blue. Her face was covered in blood. Her prosthetic was detached, the metal smashed and deformed. Webber walked in, holding Amelia's body back as she tried to break free, to touch Arizona and feel her skin. To tell her she had to live – she had to be okay.

"What happened?" Amelia asked. No one answered.

"Tell me what happened!" She demanded, repeating it over and over until Richard dragged her out of the room.

"Amelia!" He shouted. She didn't listen. She kept asking and crying, screaming for someone to answer her.

"Dr. Shepherd, get ahold of yourself!" He yelled again, his voice low and gruff.

"Tell me what happened to her!" She cried back, crumbling in his arms. Richard held her up, gently leading her to the waiting room and sitting her in a chair.

He sat next to her, supported her body as it was racked with sobs with an arm around her shoulders. "She was in an accident, Amelia. She was on her way home and a semi hit her car. She rolled off the bridge into the canal. She was in there for probably thirty minutes before they got her out."