Hello everyone. I'm trying to build a solid base to the story, therefore I do my best to update pretty quickly the next 2-3 chapters. I can't promise to keep up with this pace, it's very quick and I do put a lot of effort to try and make sound realistic and reasonable. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistake, I'm literally writing a chapter and posting it right afterwards.
Trigger warning- mention/hinting of sexual abuse.
This time they were on her bed, he was on top of her, caressing her sides and whispering loving words in her ears. She grabs his face and kisses him fiercely while his hands creep to her lower back, pulling her closer to him. She releases his mouth with a pop and he wastes no time, nipping at her throat, moving behind her ears and then sucking on her earlobe. His legs part hers and he pushes himself against her. She can feel him hard against her lower abdomen, his hands traveling lower and squeezing her ass.
"Killian" she breathes out but he continues to move his hips slowly.
"Please stop" His hands push her hips up, opening her up even more, and he moves faster and faster.
"No," she tries to push him away but he continues to dry humping her. She is fully clothed but it doesn't change the fact that she feels completely violated. "I said stop"
"Don't you like it?" His voice is weird, muffled and his head is between her breasts, kissing the fabric of her shirt, in the valley.
"No I don't! stop!"
He lifts his head and it's not Killian anymore, it's Brian one of her foster dads. He smiles at her, a wicked smile, and she feels her breath catch in her throat. Suddenly she can't speak, she opens her mouth but nothing comes out. His hands are everywhere, he reaches to her pants and tears them down. She feels the tears swelling in her eyes and her hands are shaking. He looks down, an appreciate look on his face.
"Who's daddy's pretty girl?"
He fumbles with his belt and lowers himself down.
She springs up, breathing heavily, fear spread all over her body and she's sweating. It's hot, too hot for that fleece, so she takes him off leaving herself in her bra and sweatpants. She keeps staring at the same point, trying to calm herself down and lets out a shaky breath. It's just a dream Emma, Brian is dead, it can't happen. It's just a dream, it's not real, it's just a dream.
"Emma?"
She jumps.
"It's me." Regina approaches her slowly. "Did you have a nightmare?"
She can't find her voice so she nods, swallowing thickly but the lump in her throat stays right where it is. Regina sits on the bed, right next to her, putting a hand over hers and squeeze lightly.
"I'm ok" It comes out as a rasped whisper so she clears her throat and tries again. "I'm ok" Still shaky, but better.
"You don't look ok," She feels her eyes watering and she looks up and meets concerned gaze. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shakes her head and she feels like she's going to break. She can't break in front of Regina, she is not a pathetic little kid anymore. So she gets up abruptly, making a bee line to the small bathroom and closes the door.
And then she breaks. Tears streaming down her face, her body is shaking and as much as she tries to muffle down her sobs, she knows Regina can hear them.
"Emma? Please open the door."
She slides down until she hits the ground and manages a "No"
"Emma"
"I need you to go" She clears her throat again and sucks in a breath "please"
It takes a second but she hears Regina say "Ok, I'll be in my bedroom if you need me. Don't hesitate." She lingers for a response, when she understands that she is not going to get one she leaves the room.
Emma doesn't know how long she stayed in that bathroom but when she gets up her body is sore from staying in the same position for so long. She comes back to bed and sleep takes her in a second, this time a blessed dream-free, sleep.
"Morning"
Regina has her robe on, coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. She lifts and head and smiles kindly at her. "Morning Emma, how are you feeling?"
"I'm good thanks" then adds in afterthought "It was just a nightmare."
Regina wants to say that it isn't, no one understands nightmares like she does and that wasn't just a bad dream that was a trauma. She can smell it from miles. But she drops it, for now.
"I'm sure it was just that, coffee?"
"Yes please"
They sit in silence, sipping their coffees when she feels like something is missing.
"Where's Henry?"
"My my" Regina teases her "And the mother of the year award goes to… Emma."
"Really, I won?" She has fake surprise all over her face, her hand on her heart.
Regina chuckles and sips her coffee. Emma's ears perk up, that's a noise she hasn't heard Regina make, it's nice. When she realizes where her trail of thought is heading to she cuts it off immediately and concentrates on the crossword in front of her.
They were at it for two full hours and managed to beat whoever wrote this un-solvable crossword and finish it.
"Finally" Emma gets up from the chair and stretches her back.
"Totally agree." Regina looks at the clock "It's late, I should probably start working on launch."
Emma stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do with herself. She didn't really want to go but she wasn't sure she was invited and felt uncomfortable asking Regina to stay. She didn't think about what she would next, go back to the apartment or find somewhere else. She waited for Regina to tell her to go. She was taking out ingredients from the fridge, lining them on the counter.
"Lasagna is ok, right?"
Emma's smile couldn't have been wider, due to the lack of response Regina turned around. They stood there for a few seconds, smiling at each, and Emma feels her stomach twisting in knots.
"Lasagna is great"
"Good"
"God I'm full." Emma pats on her stomach let out a deep breath.
"You should have stopped on the third piece." Regina playfully scolds her, but to be honest she loves watching people devour her food. She loves watching Emma devour her food. How did she stay so skinny and fit was a wonder of nature.
"It was too good to pass on, you forget that my homemade meals consist cereal and grilled cheese."
"Emma you have to eat better, if not for yourself then for our son, who keeps embracing you lacking eating habits."
Emma's heart swells; hearing Regina call Henry their son is more satisfying then she would have thought it would.
"There's nothing I can do about it, I don't know how to cook and Snow isn't the chef of the year as well. You should want me to eat better, for the town's sake I mean, they need their sheriff in a good shape as you can probably imagine." A smile crept to the Mayor's lips "Maybe you should feed me more, you know, as the town Mayor. This town is your town after all." Emma smiles mischievously, teasing Regina was indeed one of her favorite things to do.
"Maybe I should."
They finish launch and hang around the house, Regina reading her book and Emma watching TV. Emma fiddles with the seams of the couch until Regina asks what is bothering her. In the end, with blush all over her cheeks, she manages to ask Regina if she could spend another night there, until she figures out what she wants to do. No need to say that Regina agrees, telling her she is being ridiculous feeling nervous about asking her, saying she could stay as long as she needs. She even poofs her phone and some of her clothes from her apartment. She tries a few times and then askes Emma where the hell does she keep her underpants. Emma blushes and mumbles something like not wearing panties most of the time. Regina's shocked look says it all. She looks at Emma's legs, clearly thinking Emma was going commando with her sweatpants. Understanding her line of thinking Emma assures her one of her fewer panties are being worn at the moment. One skeptical brow is lifted up and Emma takes the waistband down revealing a skimpy lace thong. Regina clears her throat and after a few long seconds mumbles an ok, I believe you. It takes her a few more seconds to tear her look away and walk out of the room. Emma lifts her pants and smiles proudly to herself. Why is she proud? Why is she smiling? She decides to leave those questions for now, holding on to her 'running away from her problems' title.
Henry was supposed to be back on Sunday afternoon, so they spend Saturday evening together. They are sitting near the table, glasses of wine in their hands, discussing various subjects. Emma knew Regina had her twisted sense of humor but after talking to her in her natural environment and her calmer self, Emma reaches to the conclusion the Regina is incredibly witty. She really has her moments and Emma laughs like she hadn't laughed for years. She is, surprisingly, very easy to talk to and has some really good advices to share. So Emma finds herself opening up to her, not entirely of course, her nightmare stayed well buried, but she does share some of her problems with Hook.
"You would think dating girls would be complicated but no, men definitely win the title"
"Well you can't really know that can't you?"
Emma shrugs and Regina eyebrows shot to her hairline.
"You dated girls?"
"I was in prison, after all…"
"So? What being in prison has to do it?"
Emma snickers but her smile dies when she sees Regina is serious. Didn't she know?
"Oh come on Regina, haven't you seen Orange is the new black and well, every jail movie or TV show out there? They all say and do it for a reason, it's not a myth."
"Well, I don't know what you're talking about and I haven't seen Black Oranges or whatever this is called."
Emma stares at her, lost for word. "What?" the brunette asked.
And then they are sitting on the couch watching Orange is the new black because Emma just won't have it. She had to force Regina to keep watching for the first 20 minutes and then she was hooked. She kept closing her eyes every time something inappropriate happened, which was basically once or twice a minute. Emma notices that and laughs out loud.
"God, you're so naïve."
"Miss Swan I'm not naïve." She insists, trying to sound intimidating.
"Mmm" She makes a non-committal sound and then mumbles under her nose. "I think it's cute."
Regina snatches the remote from her hands and hit the pause button. "Excuse me? I am the Evil Queen, I don't do cute. And just so you know, there were a lot of those 'girl on girl things' in the Enchanted Forest, just because people didn't talk about it, discuss it in public or write or in children's books doesn't mean it didn't happen."
"Oh? And did her majesty ever take part in those un-discussable actions?" She asks jokingly but deep down she actually wants to know the answer to that question.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
She hit the play button, leaving Emma internally screaming Yes! I do!
The time passes so quickly, Emma guesses the reason might be that she feels happy. Henry comes back and they spend Sunday playing video games and making a mess out of the living room while they pillow fight. And Regina rolls her eyes and says Great, now I have to kids two take care of. She scolds them all the time and Emma doesn't mind a tiny little bit. She feels like she belongs there and it's very homey, Emma never had homey before. Something changes in the way she sees Regina and she knows she has to do some thinking and processing but she keeps postponing it; playing with Henry is more important, helping Regina with dinner is more important, reading Henry a bedtime story is more important, having a glass of wine with Regina is more impotent. She tries and fails to understand what Henry was searching for outside, always running away from the greatest home Emma thinks she's ever seen.
When the weekend ends Regina asks her if she's planning to stick around for the rest of the week and Emma teases her asking if she's trying to get rid of her already. Regina chuckles and says never, and adds that she's always welcomed. But Emma needs to fix things so she thanks the mayor and gets back to the apartment. She talks to Hook, they decide that he's going to stop pressuring her and she is going to start facing her issues. She even agrees to start seeing Archie.
Things are back on track. Since that weekend Regina and Emma become closer, sometimes even go and get a drink together. On one of their nights Emma notices that something is wrong with Regina. With the help of her dear friend, whiskey, Emma manages to coax out her that there are troubles in paradise. She doesn't say much, just that Robin wants things that she can't provide and she's afraid that she isn't good enough for him. Emma says that he is jerk for even implying something like that. You are so out of league, let's find you someone better. She's joking, well at least she tells herself that she is joking. She closes the subject with a demand for Regina to send any person who says that to her, she will take care of him. Regina's look in reaction to her words makes her knees wobbly.
Emma knows that something changes, her feelings towards the Mayor are evolving. This can't happen, she keeps telling herself, for so many reasons; one of them is Regina being straight, another one is Robin. It annoys her to no end because since that evening in the bar Regina looks less and less vibrant. Emma wants to grab Robin's shoulders and shake him, to tell him he better starts making her happy or she will.
But they stay together, and Emma has to remind herself over and over again that it is none of her business and that she has her own relationship to worry about. Besides, she has honor and she will never get in the way of a pair, at least not without a blunt invitation. She tries to ignore her feelings, she even lets Hook get a little further, trying and failing miserably to convince herself that Hook is the one she wants. Hook is happy, although he's not as close to the price as he would like to be, he sees Emma's step as a progress and praises Archie. Only Emma knows that it's not Archie, only Emma knows that the person she thinks about when Archie talks to her about trust and openness is not Hook, that person is Regina. Sometimes she even thinks that she could do this, maybe Regina will like her back. And then she sees them together, he holds her hand and caresses her face and his tattoo is staring her right in the face, mocking her. He is her true love, how could she ever fight that? So she lowers her look, lowers her expectations and stomps her feeling to ashes. She gets up, looks at Regina's quizzing expression and says that she has to go.