Chapter 11 Performing a Miracle
"Bloody hell!!"
Elizabeth woke with a start at Seamus's exclamation. She jumped up; her feet finding the floor before she was even awake and conscious of her movement. Seamus shot out of the bed on the other side, his eyes ablaze with fear and pain.
As Elizabeth scrambled around the bed, Seamus coughed twice, deep and ripping coughs before landing on his knees, hands flat on the floor, and vomiting.
Elizabeth reached him and, through reflex, put a hand at his back and another on his chest, just under his collarbone. She rubbed small circles at that point. She squeezed her eyes shut when another splash hit the floor. His body trembled in her arms.
"It's ok; its all going to be ok," she reassured, her voice soothing. "You're going to be fine."
"How can you be so sure?" He croaked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and looking up at her. He turned back to the floor and sat back on his feet, his eyes now squeezed shut. His elbows were resting on his knees, as he hunched over. Elizabeth became suddenly acutely aware that he was clutching her hand, holding it to his chest, stationary. "How do you know that everything's going to be ok? That I'm going to be fine?"
Elizabeth did not answer right away which prompted Seamus to look back up at her; his eyes searched hers quickly, jumping from eye to eye.
"Because I've got you," she answered lamely.
He held her gaze for a moment longer before again, closing his eyes. He leaned towards her, resting his forehead against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him. Tears started to stream down her cheeks as she took in the feeling and warmth of his body against hers. Willingly and desperately, he pressed his trembling body against her own and she answered by holding him as close and as tightly as she dared.
She felt a relief that she had never thought of because she had never expected it. She felt like coming home after a long absence. A painfully drawn out and long absence.
Elizabeth, after a small amount of time, shifted her position and slowly stood.
"Don't leave me," Seamus whispered, his eyes grew wide as he looked up at her.
Elizabeth said nothing but helped Seamus to his feet and back onto the bed. She drew the covers over him, and mindful not to undo the progress that had just been made, she lay next to him on top of the covers. She lay on her side, facing him and waited for him to lean into her before she wrapped her arms around him again.
She watched as Seamus's eyes started drooping and finally remained closed. His breathing had deepened, each breath playing gently across her face, bathing her in his scent.
She became aware that the sun was slanting in the sky and that quite soon the boys who called this dormitory home would arrive.
Pulling her wand out slowly and pointing it at the curtains she whispered the incantation softly, almost not at all, and drew the deep red curtains around them, plunging them into darkness.
After a moment's hesitation and deliberation, Elizabeth gently caressed Seamus's soft, short hair.
Elizabeth woke to find herself in complete darkness. Something was pressing uncomfortably into her side, she began to feel around for her wand. After a frustrating and slightly painful moment, she finally muttered "Lumos," under her breath. A thin sliver of light peeped out from under her.
"Argh," She groaned quietly reaching between herself and the mattress and pulling out her wand. "Nox."
She rolled onto her back in the renewed darkness. Someone was snoring softly in the room to her left, deep breathing filled the air and somewhere across the room was nonsensical sleep mumbling.
Laying on her side, Elizabeth reached out slowly in front of her and felt her fingertips brush against Seamus. Rather than the material of the shirt he'd gone to sleep in, she felt skin. Confused, she relit her wand.
When the light beam found Seamus's back, Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment.
She had been greeted with the red face of the serpent etched into the skin of Seamus's back. She'd seen this image more often than she liked. There were angry red markings covering his back from his shoulders to where his waist disappeared beneath the thick scarlet blanket on his bed.
Elizabeth rose up onto her elbow and with disturbed fascination brought her wand up and, cupping the tip in her hand to dim the light, she looked over his back. Starting at what was once a deep gouge in his side just above his hip, but what was now the palest of pink scars; an elaborate and unsettling illustration of a serpent with an open mouth displaying long sharp pointed fangs was etched into the skin of his back. The depiction ran across his broad back with intricate detail and as if the drawing wasn't enough, several times on his lower back as well as his shoulder blades, there were games of tic-tac-toe actually drawn into his flesh.
Though some of the shallower incisions were healing to a faint pink, they would all be lasting. He would forever have the grotesque brand, a constant reminder for him, a constant reminder for Elizabeth of what had happened.
Very slowly, Elizabeth sat up and lifted the blanket over him, covering him, hiding his back from her.
"Is it really that bad?" He asked; his voice breaking the silence smoothly, it was not cracked with sleep but rather a measured whisper.
Elizabeth did not jump at his voice. She lay back down, her head beside his on his pillow, he was facing her and she, on her side, was facing him. She held her wand tip in her hand so its glow was dim, throwing her face into shadow and so she could just barely make out his features.
"I'm sorry," She whispered.
"Don't be,' He whispered back with the smallest shake of his head.
"Was it… I mean, when… when they… did…" Elizabeth's voice trailed off.
Seamus was silent for a minute, looking into her eyes. His expression was completely still and she was silent, barely daring to breathe.
"It was near the end… when," he was speaking very softly, only just above a whisper. His tone was even, measured but he paused to swallow. "When she did this."
"Who…?" Elizabeth started but stopped when Seamus's expression turned to one of pain. Elizabeth bit her lower lip.
It took another full minute of silence before he continued.
"There was a mirror in the room…" His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes. "If I closed my eyes she… there was a metal rod that she kept in a fire and if I closed my eyes…" his voice trailed again and Elizabeth's eyes widened. "She said she wanted me to see her work," he stopped again; his eyes were still closed.
"They were both so… relentless, they kept asking me over and over and over again about the Order, but I've never known anything about that. I've never even heard of it." He was speaking in short choppy sentences. Elizabeth watched as his expression remained blank and his eyes closed as he muttered this to her. "I mean, its not like I would have told them anything even if I had known, but they kept drilling me and I had no idea what was going on or why I was there or why you were--"
He stopped abruptly, his eyes snapping open.
"Why I was what, Seamus?" she breathed.
"Nothing," he said too quickly. His face was blank, but his eyes were desperately searching hers'.
"Why I was…" Elizabeth's voice trailed off.
"We believe his captors may have used a polyjuice potion to look like a number of us while he was being-" Professor McGonagall looked uncomfortably sideways, "while he was being held captive."
"But how did they get your DNA?" Elizabeth whispered, shocked at this new bit of information.
"They weren't impersonating the professors…" Elizabeth gasped as she grasped what the professor had said and what she herself had refused to consider. Immediately tears were streaming down her face.
"No, its ok. I know it wasn't you." Seamus whispered his eyebrows raised and knitted together in worry. He slid closer to her on the bed.
Elizabeth however was devastated at this piece of information. She closed her eyes and covered them with her hands. She could see it so vividly as if it was being projected onto her mind's eye, or worse, like she had actually been there. She could see herself holding the red hot rod that inflected the burns on the bottoms of his feet, on the backs of his legs. She could see herself holding a small penknife and etching into his back the large elaborate snake. She could hear his agonized yell…
"Elizabeth, stop it." Seamus's voice commanded firmly.
Elizabeth felt her hands being removed from her eyes against her will.
Blinking back the tears that were obscuring her vision, Elizabeth saw that Seamus was holding her hands in his own on the bed, he was much closer to her than when she'd retreated behind them. His eyes were searching hers and she could see that his were brimmed and watery like hers. But his tears would not spill over.
"This is all wrong," Elizabeth whispered fiercely, attempting to take her hand back so as to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Seamus didn't let go of her hands. "I should be comforting you."
"That's really ok," Seamus said, warily lifting a strand of Elizabeth's hair that was plastered to her cheek with a tear, and tucking it behind her ear. "A change is good."
Elizabeth watched his seemingly casual actions as though he was performing a miracle. He wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of his index finger and then took her hands in his again.
"Please don't cry anymore," Seamus said. Elizabeth looked back into his eyes and found them beseeching her to comply. But she found herself doing the exact opposite; tears ran down her cheeks, wetting the pillow.
And yet in the confusion and overwhelming guilt at this new information, she felt warmth, she felt protection, she felt relief and she felt joy. She felt Seamus wrap his arms around her and draw her close to him.
Where as her tears had been silent before, she now sobbed openly into his chest, though only for a moment before she remembered that they were in his dorm and were surrounded by sleeping classmates. She quieted her sobs and in doing so, took control over her tears. She looked up at Seamus who was looking down at her with a patient look. A small smile set on his lips.
I look up at his sleeping face, a slight frown on his lips. I wonder if I will ever see him smile at me in that easy way again. I wonder if I will ever see him smile again.
A single tear escaped her eye and after wiping that one away for her; Seamus, with gentle pressure, drew her head to his chest and rested his chin on the top of her head, muttering low and soothing reassurances.